Chapter 29

Foster

It’s a different feeling when I pull into the garage this time. My anger has dissipated a bit since I entered my house five hours ago.

In that time, I sat with Bowie Jane while she ate breakfast and waited for her to bring up her mother. She didn’t at first, instead wanting to talk about her choir performance this week but eventually she asked, “Are you mad at Mom?”

I answered truthfully. “Yes. Are you?”

She was truthful as well. “Yes. I don’t understand it.”

“I don’t either, honey. But we’ll figure it out. The one thing you need to know is that you are safe and you are loved.”

Bowie Jane showed all the resiliency I expected from her. She’s a kid who rolls with the punches, although I don’t for a minute think she’s not affected by this. Today I’ll reach out to team services and look into a therapist who can help us navigate what will likely be rough waters.

After I dropped Bowie Jane off at school, I returned the call to my attorney that I’d missed. The conversation was both hopeful and frustrating, but we have a game plan moving forward.

And now… I have to deal with Mazzy who’s inside the house right now waiting for me. I wonder if she’s still wallowing in guilt for letting Sandra in or if she’s gearing up for a fight over her refusal to press charges. Perhaps she’s in there ready to give her notice because she did not volunteer for this crazy train.

I exit my vehicle and pocket my phone. I guess it doesn’t matter what she’s thinking because that all might change after I say the things I need to say.

When I open the door that leads into the kitchen, I find Mazzy sitting at the kitchen table, an empty coffee cup beside her. She’s on her laptop and when I enter, she closes it.

I nod with a wry smile. “Typing up your resignation?”

Her eyes flare. “Do you want me to resign?”

I respond by moving her way, taking her hand and pulling her out of the chair. She doesn’t pull against me as I walk us to my bedroom. It’s only when we cross the threshold that she shows some resistance and I wheel around on her.

With my hands to her face, cupping gently because she’s bruised, I bring my mouth to hers. It’s a soft and mellow kiss despite the fact that my blood is racing just at her scent.

To my relief, she melts into me and I take that as acquiescence that although she might be thinking of quitting her job, she’s clearly not quitting me yet.

A kiss isn’t enough and it’s not what I brought her into my bedroom for. She’s in here because I need every inch of her in a way that I’ve never needed anyone before. The last several hours have rattled me, made me realize the fragility of relationships and bonds, and I don’t want to go another minute taking what I have with her for granted.

She doesn’t challenge me when I strip off her clothes. Instead, she watches me with hungry eyes as I discard mine. I lie her on the bed and kiss every inch of her body. She writhes and moans as I wring an orgasm out of her with my mouth and doesn’t protest in my urgency to have her by merely surging up her body and driving in deep.

Mazzy clings to me as I claim her body and it’s my hope that she’s giving me small pieces of her soul through this act of intimacy. I come brutally hard, thinking of her fighting off Sandra to keep Bowie Jane safe, and I sag onto her thoroughly depleted.

She lies still after I roll us to the side. I stroke her lower back and say the second-most important thing on my mind. “I cannot thank you enough for what you did for Bowie Jane yesterday. What you did for me by keeping her safe. There is no one in this world I trust more than you, Mazzy.”

Lifting her head slightly, she kisses my jaw before murmuring, “No thanks are necessary. I love that kid, and you know it.”

Yeah, I do know it well. And after talking to Bowie Jane this morning, I know my kid loves her in return. Mazzy is the one who made her feel safe and secure yesterday.

“What are you going to do?” Mazzy asks, one hand coming to my chest to draw light patterns with her fingertips.

“I talked to my attorney after I dropped off Bowie Jane. He’s preparing a motion to modify my custody to a permanent nature as well as a protective order that she cannot come on my property without explicit permission.”

“Does he think the judge will grant it?”

“Yes, because it was pretty damning that she packed a suitcase to take Bowie Jane somewhere. It’s heightened the threat she could jet out of the country with her although he talked to Sandra’s attorney first thing this morning and she’s claiming she was merely taking her to her hotel in Pittsburgh for some mother-daughter time.”

“Bullshit,” Mazzy mutters, and I chuckle, drawing her in closer.

“Yeah, it’s bullshit. She’s also claiming there was no problem in her doing that because she’d told me she was coming to visit and I never opposed it, therefore I’d given her permission.”

“Also bullshit. But will that work?”

“Jared seems to think the judge will see through that. I won’t ask you again to press charges, but the fact she physically assaulted you to get to Bowie Jane is important. I might need you to give a statement about that.”

“Of course I will,” she assures me, and then to my surprise, she rolls away, right out of bed where she bends down to grab her panties.

I’m momentarily lost in watching her get dressed and then it occurs to me she’s no longer in my arms, but I still need to say the most important thing to her.

“What are you doing?” I ask, rising up on one elbow.

Mazzy snaps her bra into place, then retrieves her jeans. She doesn’t look at me as she threads her legs into the denim. “Maybe you and I should cool things down.”

Narrowing my eyes, I ask, “What does that mean?”

She lifts her head and locks eyes with me. “I mean… maybe I should just go back to being her nanny.”

“That’s not going to fucking happen,” I assert adamantly, rolling out of the bed and striding around it to her. I don’t bother getting dressed. “What’s this all about? What about yesterday has changed your feelings for me?”

Mazzy shakes her head, her palms coming to my chest. “My feelings for you have not changed.” I should feel relief, but I don’t. She wants to break up and I need to hear why so I can fix it. “But if Sandra gets hold of this knowledge… that you and I are an item, that can cause problems for your bid for permanent custody. All she has to do is paint some sordid tale about you banging the nanny and not paying attention to Bowie Jane—”

“That’s not true,” I say.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true,” Mazzy replies with a huff of frustration, pushing her hair back from her face. “It only matters if she says it and it could cause problems for you. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”

“And that’s why you won’t press charges? So you don’t inflame Sandra?”

Mazzy refuses to answer, instead saying as she drops her gaze, “Maybe this is all too confusing for Bowie Jane and I’m a distraction. You should put all your focus on your daughter.”

I’m not going to allow that, so my fingers go under her chin and I force her to look at me. “I’m focused on my daughter just fine. She’s my priority but that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for you too.”

“But Bowie Jane is going through some really messed-up stuff with her mother. I don’t want to confuse her as she sees us getting closer. I don’t want her to have to choose between affection for me and loving her mom.”

“Okay, you need to stop right now,” I order. I have to prevent the snowball from getting bigger as it rolls downhill. “First, you and I have been transparent with Bowie Jane, and we continue to have open communication with her about our relationship. There won’t be confusion because she knows exactly what we are. And she doesn’t have to choose between her affections because she has already declared her love for you. It’s not something she’s contemplating and it’s not an either-or thing. She loves you for who you are and if you want proof of that, it was yesterday when her mom was beckoning for her to leave and you told her to go to her room. She chose your wisdom and trusted you, not her mother.”

Mazzy opens her mouth to argue, but I roll over her. “Now, I don’t know what’s going to happen with Sandra or between Sandra and Bowie Jane, but what I do know is that she has a healthy, whole unit right here in this house between me and you. She is seeing what a good relationship looks like and we are providing stability. I’m not about to let you go shake things up because you’re getting a little spooked.”

“I’m not spooked—”

“But the most important thing on my mind and what I probably should’ve led with is that I love you and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you toss me aside because you’ve got a few unfounded worries.”

“They’re not unfounded,” she snaps angrily. “If you just—” Mazzy stops midsentence, brow furrowing in confusion. “Wait… did you just say you love me?”

“I did,” I reply, my refusal to clarify anything more an invitation for her to figure things out on her own. Mazzy’s got a lot of muddied thoughts circulating in that noggin of hers.

“But…” She pauses again, chews on her bottom lip.

And remains silent.

With a sigh, I dip down to kiss her and then place my forehead on hers. “Let’s go over this one more time. There is no one I trust more with my daughter than you. She loves you and you love her. If I trust you with my daughter, I sure as fuck feel secure in trusting you with my heart, so I’m offering it to you, Mazzy.” I lift my head and stare deep into those green eyes. “I love you. I want a life with you. There’s no way in hell you’re ever just going to be the nanny, and I’m not about to let you run scared. So, process if you need to, but eventually—”

“I love you too,” she exclaims, throwing her arms around me and burying her face in my neck. “So much.”

Chuckling, I squeeze her. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Mazzy tips her head back and kisses me. “I knew I had all these feelings inside me, and they were deep, but they were also getting mixed up. I was afraid I was amplifying or something, and I didn’t want to give them any credence because I wanted my focus and loyalty to be to Bowie Jane.”

“And I love you more for that,” I assure her. “But just as I have room for you, you have room for me. Together, we both have the care of an amazing kid who will thrive within all that love.”

“And stability. She needs stability.”

“As of right now, she has it. It will only get stronger as she sees you and me getting stronger together.”

“But we still have the issue of Sandra,” she bemoans, sounding dejected. “That poor child can’t handle anymore.”

“She can,” I say, and Mazzy blinks in surprise, then glares at me. I hold up a hand. “She can handle it with our protection and guidance. Sandra is going to be whatever Sandra will be, but Bowie Jane will feel safe, secure, loved and cherished, and that’s all we can hope for. But you and I already know what an amazing kid she is. She’s going to be just fine, I’m sure of it.”

Mazzy’s eyes cut back and forth between my own as she contemplates something. “You know… it’s who you are as a dad that made me fall for you. You are so devoted to Bowie Jane and you are so wise in how you always know what your child needs that I knew you were a very special person. It wasn’t hard to fall for you, Foster.”

I’ve always thought myself a good dad, but hearing that affirmation from a woman who walks on water when it comes to children is beyond touching. I bend to kiss her, ever so gently, a smile on my face. I’m not sure our future could be any brighter.

Jack Kingston is new to the Titans, but certainly not new to the game of hockey. So when he’s at the rink getting in some extra practice time and notices a peewee hockey coach struggling, he can’t help but offer his expertise. The fact that she’s gorgeous is just an added bonus. Will she be open to his offer to assist or will she skate circles around this hockey hunk’sheart?