Chapter 24

Mazzy

Very few things transport me back to childhood, but one is my mom’s Sunday cooking. It’s chicken and dumplings tonight and the chicken is still stewing in the big pot. When it’s done, Mom will cut it up, pick it clean and put the meat back in the stock. When that’s simmering, she’ll add the homemade dumplings, currently spread out on the counter in a coating of light flour so they don’t stick. In the oven, a cherry pie bakes, and that will be served with vanilla bean ice cream. My stomach is already growling in anticipation.

It’s a rare luxury I have my mother to myself and I’ve enjoyed the last hour helping her roll out the pastry dough and cut squares to make the dumplings. Mason and Landon are at the shop with Dad, working on equipment maintenance. Even though my father’s business is successful enough to hire someone to do that stuff, he loves tinkering with engines and teaching the boys how to do those things as well. He did the same with Tim and Brian, and I’ve heard their wives praise their handiness on more than one occasion. It’s an attractive quality in a man.

Foster is that way. He’s one of those guys that if something’s broken, he knows how to fix it and has the exact right tool to do it. And yes… it’s hot.

While Mom checks on the chicken, I fix two glasses of freshly brewed sweet tea from the nearly full pitcher. Glancing at my watch, I know Foster will be here soon to drop off Bowie Jane. He’s on his way to the West Coast to play both of his former teams, the San Francisco Bay Brawlers and the Vancouver Flash.

I asked him this morning if that felt weird… playing his former teams. I woke up in his bed after an incredible night—he rocked my world like it’s never been rocked. We took a quick shower together which was a bad idea—or good, depending on how you viewed it—and he fucked me against the tile wall from behind. While we enjoyed a quick cup of coffee after, we talked about his former teams.

“It’s part of the business… being traded, finding a new home and team. You maintain relationships with those you were close to but when you step out on that ice, you’re enemies.”

Such an interesting dynamic.

After coffee, Foster headed over to the Norcross mansion to pick up Bowie Jane so they could spend the day together, and I came here to my parents’ house and have been hanging out, enjoying the downtime and relishing specifically in mom time.

Foster and Bowie Jane were going to get lunch and then see a new Pixar movie. Because my parents’ house is on the way to the airport, we agreed he’ll just drop Bowie Jane here to have dinner with my family and that will allow him maximum time with his daughter.

Before we left his house this morning, Foster invited me to join their day out, but I declined. He and Bowie Jane needed daddy-daughter time, especially since he’s leaving for five days. Foster readily accepted my reasoning and didn’t push me on it, but he did make a fair point.

“You know… the three of us need to spend some time together,” he said.

“We’re together a lot,” I replied as I put my phone in my purse and grabbed my jacket from the coat rack near the door.

Foster took it from my hands, helped me slip it on. “We’re together here at the house in your capacity of a nanny and my capacity as your employer. We need time together away from that role so that Bowie Jane can see we’re a couple. She knows we’re dating, but I want her to understand that this isn’t casual.”

That caught me off guard because it really affirmed that Foster was looking at this as something way more meaningful. It matched the way I felt but had been unsure of how we navigated it around Bowie Jane. As ever, Foster is about transparency and so I agreed… we need to spend time away from the job role. We took a few minutes to look at the calendar and it wasn’t easy finding something we could swing anytime soon. He comes back from Vancouver on Thursday evening, he’s doing a family event with the team on Friday while I have the day and night off, and then this Saturday I’m playing with Leo at a downtown bar. Sunday Foster has a game and then we’re right back into a school week and two more home games.

We looked into the following week and settled on Saturday, which is the next day Foster has completely off. I told him I would plan the day given that I’m a native Yinzer and know the best places to entertain a ten-year-old.

After a long kiss goodbye, he took off in one direction to get Bowie Jane and I went in the opposite to my parents’ place where I’ve been all day.

With the two glasses of sweet tea in hand, I sit at the kitchen table and wait for my mom to join me. I inherited her red hair and green eyes, but Landon and Mason got Dad’s brown hair and brown eyes. It’s a running joke in the family that Mom and I are the ones with the hottest tempers, and everyone says it’s because of our red hair.

After a critical once-over, she replaces the lid back on the pot. “About another half hour and it will be done.”

She sits in the chair adjacent to mine and takes a long sip of the sweet tea.

I nod toward the stove where the whole chicken simmers. “I thought you said Tim and Brian weren’t coming tonight. Why such a large pot?”

My brothers, along with their wives, try to come to most Sunday dinners but my mom recognizes they have lives too. There are occasions they pass because they have other plans but it’s rare.

Mom’s green eyes twinkle. “I’m feeling particularly sorry for Leo lately, so I’m going to send leftovers home with him.”

“You coddle him,” I tease. “You know he can take care of himself.”

“Not so sure he can.” She laughs. “You know… you’re a nurturer just like me. There was a time when I thought you two would fall in love, marry and then you’d be cooking for him.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Eww. Marry Leo? He’s a slob and irresponsible.”

“But you love him all the same,” Mom points out. “So it wasn’t unreasonable for me to assume that. But yes, I can see that you two are not well matched at all.”

Yes, I love Leo like he was my own brother, but we’d kill each other within twenty-four hours if we lived together.

“You’re a great mom,” I tell her with a pointed look. “Leo’s lucky to have you to look after him.”

Leo’s mom was pretty much absent his entire life. She took off when he was little and his hardworking dad did the best he could, raising a young boy on his own. Of course, once we became friends, Leo was here as much as he was at his own house. My parents never minded because, as they would often say, “Once you have four boys, a fifth is just no bother.”

“Sometimes I wonder,” my mom muses.

“Wonder about what?” I ask.

“If I’m a great mom.”

My jaw drops, brow furrowing deep. “Why would you ever wonder that? You’re the best mom ever.”

She lifts a shoulder and runs a fingertip along the rim of her glass as she ponders. “I wasn’t always around.” Her gaze lifts to mine and her smile is wan. “You had to fend for yourself. I wonder if that’s why you love to nanny. To make up for what you didn’t have.”

My hand shoots out and grabs hers, almost knocking over the sweet tea. “Mom! You couldn’t be more wrong. I’m so proud to have had a career mom and you were around when it was important. You came to all my school functions, my performances, and you were there to tuck me in and read me stories and go on weekend adventures. You’re the one who showed me to follow my passion, which is exactly why I am a nanny. You taught me I could be whatever I wanted, and I’d never change a single thing about my childhood. I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

Tears well in my mom’s eyes but she doesn’t let them spill. I hear the gratitude in her voice. “Thank you. And you’re going to be an amazing mother one day. Look at all the practice you’ve already had with the boys and the kids you’ve cared for.”

I have no clue why at the mention of me being a mother it’s Bowie Jane’s face that swims before me. That dimpled little smile, her sweet but tight hugs where she tries to lift me from the floor because she thinks she’s super strong but can’t even come close. The way she cuddles into me when we read.

It’s impossible to stop the smile on my face as I think of the little girl who’s wormed her way into my heart with such ease.

The doorbell rings and a zing of anticipation runs through me. That would be the little girl who makes me think of motherhood and her hot dad who has somehow put a hook in my heart as well.

Mom jumps up, eager to meet them both. Foster is on her radar because we’re dating, and we talked about him a lot today. She’s well aware that my feelings run deep. And she’s dying to spend time with Bowie Jane because my mom loves children and she’s ready to be a grandma. She bemoans that to Tim and Brian all the time and she knows how smitten I am with this little girl.

I stand from the table and casually follow her through the living room, hanging back a bit when she opens the door.

Foster is who I see first because he’s so tall. As always, I’m taken by how handsome he is and I love that he didn’t shave this morning. I shamelessly told him last night that I liked the feel of it between my legs more than the clean-shaven face and his expression was so predatory, I almost went up in flames from that look alone.

Everything about him pushes all my buttons. He’s in a well-fitted pair of dark blue jeans, slightly faded at the knees, and a long-sleeve T-shirt in a deep charcoal that hugs his torso enough to show the muscle underneath. The sleeves are casually rolled up to mid forearm and damn, does he have amazing arms. His Apple Watch, always on his wrist, glints in the late-afternoon sun hitting the porch.

Bowie Jane stands at his side, her long hair up in a high ponytail. She’s got on a bright, patterned, long-sleeved top we bought on a quick shopping trip last week with a zip-up fleece vest in a vibrant turquoise, which is her favorite color. So far, all attempts to talk Foster into painting her walls that color have been met with resistance, but she’ll keep working on him. Slung over her shoulder is a red sequined Minnie Mouse backpack she got on a trip to Disney a few years ago. It’s frayed and some of the sparkles have fallen off, but she loves that thing. Inside I can guarantee she has a sketch pad and lip gloss, the two things she never leaves home without.

“Come in, come in,” my mom gushes as she scoots back.

Bowie Jane and Foster step over the threshold, his hand on her shoulder. His eyes meet mine and with hardly a twitch to his facial muscles, we share a connection.

A clear message. Hi again… I missed you today.

“You must be Bowie Jane,” my mom coos as she bends at the waist. “I’m so excited to meet you. Mazzy talks about you all the time.” She straightens, holds her hand out to Foster. “And it’s nice to meet you, Foster.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Archer,” he says with a charming smile.

My mom waves a hand. “Please… call me Megan.”

“Megan’s a pretty name,” Bowie Jane says, her head tipped up at my mom.

“That’s Mrs. Archer to you,” Foster reminds her with a playful tug on her ponytail.

She tips her head back even farther to grin at her dad behind her, then bolts for me. “Mazzy… look what Daddy bought me today.”

She holds out her wrist, and from it dangles a small silver bracelet with a small guitar charm. “I can add others too, but he got me the guitar because I’ve been so good about practicing.”

I examine it critically before smiling at her. “It’s beautiful.”

“Would you like something to drink?” My mom looks at Foster expectantly. “We’d love to have you stay for dinner?”

Foster throws his thumb over his shoulder. “That sounds and smells amazing, but I really have to get to the airport. Thank you for the invite.”

“Maybe some other time?” my mom suggests, and I know she’ll keep pushing in the days or weeks to come to get him over here. My dad and brothers will want to check him out.

“I’d love to,” Foster assures her, then steps forward to pick up Bowie Jane for a big hug. She wraps her arms around him and buries her face into his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Going to miss you too, Dad.”

She holds on tight an extra moment and then he lets her down. His eyes come to me. “Can I talk to you privately?”

My mom jumps into action, holding her hand out to Bowie Jane. “Want to come help me finish up the dumplings? After dinner, we’re going to carve pumpkins for Halloween and we have cherry pie.”

Bowie Jane takes my mom’s hand without looking back at us and as they head into the kitchen, I hear her ask, “What’s a dumpling?”

Foster and I grin at each other but then I follow him out the front door. As soon as it’s closed and we’re alone on the porch, his hand goes to the back of my neck and he pulls me upward for a quick, lips-only kiss. “Just needed to do that.”

“And we can’t do that in front of Bowie Jane.” I chuckle.

“We can totally do that in front of her,” he scoffs with a sly glimmer in his eye. “I didn’t want to do it in front of your mom though.”

“She’d be okay with that,” I assure him.

“Not the way I really want to kiss you.” The dark undercurrent of desire prickles my skin, but then he adds lightly, “I got you something.”

Foster reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a black velvet box. My heart flutters as I take it from him. When I open it, I see it’s the exact bracelet he got Bowie Jane with the same guitar charm.

“It’s not much,” he says almost bashfully. “But it reminded me of you.”

“Thank you. That’s so thoughtful. I love it.”

Foster takes it from the box and I hold out my wrist for him to clasp it on. I twist it left and right, admiring it. My head tips up to look at him. “Thank you,” I say slowly so he understands the depth of feeling behind it. “That means a lot.”

Going to my tiptoes, I touch his jaw with my palm and press my mouth to his. He angles his head and the kiss immediately deepens.

It’s only the sound of a sputtering car pulling up to the curb that has me stepping back. We both turn to see Leo getting out of his junker that has lived more lives than I can count. I don’t move away from Foster but instead let my hand drop to link my fingers through his. Leo knows we’re dating so this won’t be a surprise to him.

Leo is Leo, dressed as if he’s ready to walk onstage. Dark hair tousled as if he just rolled out of bed complements his fair, inked skin where tattoos peek out from under his sleeves and leather bracelets adorn his wrists. He’s wearing a vintage Eagles T-shirt, slightly faded, tucked loosely into well-worn slim-fit black jeans and a pair of ratty Vans. He’s wearing a beat-up leather jacket that I bought him for Christmas probably seven years ago.

Leo trots up the porch, eyes on Foster, and holds out his hand. “Hey, man.” Foster goes to shake but Leo goes for the fist bump so they do an awkward slap at each other. “You staying for dinner?”

“On my way to the airport,” Foster says, and I can’t help but think he actually looks grateful for that obligation.

“I’ll take care of your girl for you,” Leo says, giving me a wink.

“Pretty sure she can take care of herself,” he replies, and his tone is curt. Is he… jealous?

No way. He knows Leo is just a friend and Foster’s far too confident to be concerned.

Leo doesn’t seem to think anything’s wrong and he asks Foster, “You coming Saturday?”

“Saturday?”

“Yeah… we have a big gig at that new downtown brewery.”

Foster looks pointedly at me as he responds to Leo. “I didn’t know about it.”

I flush with guilt. “I would have invited you, but I don’t want to impede on your time with Bowie Jane.”

Thankfully, there’s no annoyance in his tone. “I get it and I appreciate it. But let me be the one to decide, okay?” He waits expectantly and I nod. “And I’d love to come. I can get a babysitter for her that night. Can I invite some teammates?”

“The more, the merrier,” Leo says. “And if you have any connections in the music industry, invite them too.”

Foster gives Leo an apologetic smile. “Sorry, man… all my contacts are athletes.”

“Bummer,” Leo says.

Foster bends down, gives me a quick kiss and whispers, “I’ll miss you.”

My hand presses into his chest, right over his heart. “Miss you too.”

“Send me lots of photos of trick-or-treating.” Foster peers down at me earnestly. “And well… lots of other photos too.”

“I always do. Prepared to be inundated with photos of Bowie Jane. I’ll overwhelm you.”

Foster smiles softly at me. “You already do.”

My heart melts at the earnest admission of the effect I have on him and then goes gooey when he kisses the inside of my wrist where the charm lays. He releases me, pivots and trots down the steps. I don’t move until he pulls away in his truck.

Leo and I turn to head inside. “Dude,” he drawls dramatically, “that guy is head over heels for you.”

That’s good to know from an outside observer because I feel the same way about him.

?

Later that night,after Bowie Jane has had her bath, talked to her mom via FaceTime, and played some guitar, I go through the ritual we’ve developed to tuck her in when her dad is gone.

She brushes her teeth and picks a book off one of her many shelves. While Bowie Jane is a fantastic reader, our girl time is for me to read to her. She’s currently reading the Harry Potter series—she’s on The Prisoner of Azkaban.

She climbs into bed, fluffs her pillows against the headboard, and scoots over to let me sit beside her. We lean back, shoulder to shoulder, and I open the book to where she left off reading. She always finishes a chapter, never leaving off in the middle of one.

I note she’s on Chapter24. I clear my throat but before I can get the first words out, she says, “Thank you for taking me to your family dinner. Landon and Mason are awesome. It felt like I had big brothers.”

“As someone who had two big brothers of my own, I can attest that it can be very cool at times. But they can also be pains in the butt. You saw their best sides tonight.”

Bowie Jane giggles. “Your mom and dad are so nice too. I wish I had that.”

The wistfulness in her voice puts me on edge. “How so?”

Bowie Jane shrugs, and I can tell she wants to say something but is worried about it. This in turn worries me. Is she saying she wants her mom and dad back together? Is she pining for the family unit and the comfort it represents?

Finally, Bowie Jane says, “I don’t have that with my mom. I’ll never have that with my mom.”

And I get it. Her mom took off to Singapore with a guy and there aren’t any lovingly made Sunday dinners, jokes around the table and happiness to be with those you love.

I angle in the bed to face Bowie Jane, brushing her hair back from her face. “Oh, honey… I don’t know if that’s true. Remember when we talked about giving grace? And you’ve had some good conversations with your mom lately. Just tonight you had a great time talking to her.”

It’s true that Sandra is calling consistently without Chet involved and has really been engaged with her daughter. It’s left Bowie Jane with big smiles after and I’m hoping this is a sign that Sandra is finding her old mom self.

“But she’s in Singapore and I’m here. She’s with Chet who I don’t like. Even if they were here, it wouldn’t be like tonight at your parents’ house. Even though you have a blended family, you all love each other. I’ll never feel that way for Chet.”

From what I know about the guy, I’m not surprised by that line in the sand she just drew. “I’m sorry. I know it’s tough, but you never know what will happen.”

“Will you marry my dad and be my stepmom?” she asks earnestly, her eyes actually filled with hope.

And I freaking panic.

“Oh wow… honey, I don’t know. I mean… this thing with your dad is new. It’s way too soon to think about that stuff.”

“But you care about him. I can see it. I don’t think Chet really cares for my mom. I think he just likes that she’s young and pretty. You can hear it in his voice when he talks to her, and I can see that he doesn’t really listen to her when she talks. Not the way Dad listens to you. It’s just… different. I just wish my family was whole.”

“I get what you’re saying,” I tell her, choosing my words carefully. “But remember… family is whatever we want it to be. It’s not always just a man and woman having a baby and living within that tiny nucleus. Family can be something as simple as you and your dad. You’re a family. And you and your mom, you’re a family, although a rocky one right now. It’s me and my stepbrothers, and my stepdad adopting me. It’s Leo coming over to family dinner. Family is who you care about and who makes you happy.”

“I care about you,” Bowie Jane says, and there’s something about the way she’s staring at me so intently that feels like there’s a hard message within her words. She needs me to know her feelings are true.

“I care about you too. So much. And yes, I care about your dad. What you need to remember is you have so many people who love and care for you that you are never truly alone. Your family is just… unique.”

Bowie Jane considers that a moment and then nods. Her gaze cuts to the book. “Okay… you can read now.”

That means she’s done talking about it, but I’ve come to know this kid well. She’ll process and then she’ll want to talk more. Dive deeper. That’s the way she is because she’s the type of kid who needs knowledge. Needs to know where she stands and where those around her stand. My job is to do everything in my power to give that to her so she feels safe and secure as she navigates her new life.