Chapter 13

Mav

Light was just beginning to filter through the sheer curtains when Eli began to stir. His back was pressed to my front and I had one arm pillowing his head while the other was wrapped around his chest. A glance at the clock showed it wasn't even five a.m. yet.

I hadn't been able to fall asleep after I'd somehow found the energy to get Eli and myself into the shower after we'd made love the second time around. I also hadn't been able to stop touching him even after I'd gotten us settled back under the covers. There'd been an awkward moment where Eli had started to press up against me, but then had pulled back as if worried it might not be what I wanted. He'd been right…and wrong.

I hadn't wanted to touch him anymore. Part of me hadn't even wanted him to stay. But the second he'd tried to physically withdraw from me and put more distance between us, I'd snagged him around the waist and pulled him back against me. I hadn't been able to force myself to loosen my hold on him until I'd felt his fingers link with mine where they were pressed against his chest. He'd fallen asleep minutes later and I'd done exactly what I'd told myself I wouldn't. I'd touched him .

Endlessly.

With my lips, with our joined hands, with my other hand…I hadn't been able to control the urge to constantly feel his warm, soft skin – to prove to myself he was really there.

And I'd obsessed over the fact that part of me still lingered deep inside Eli's body. That I'd become a part of him that he could never escape.

Not once had I ever fucked a man without a condom.

Not once.

The implications were almost too much for me to handle. From the moment I'd opened the door last night to see Eli standing on the other side, his expression pained and desperate and a reflection of what I'd been struggling with myself in the three days since I'd last seen him, I'd pretended all the reasons I should send him away didn't exist and I'd let him in. I hadn't been lying when I'd told Eli that I'd tried to leave Seattle. The second I'd gotten on my Harley every morning, I'd felt a rush of relief go through me. But it had only lasted mere minutes and as I'd put the city skyline behind me, the knot of anxiety had begun to build and build until I could focus on nothing but the need to get back to Eli. I'd purposefully not checked in with Ronan about who was watching Eli and if they'd seen anything suspicious. And when Daisy had called me yesterday morning to talk to me about the progress she was making with cleaning up Caleb's voicemail, I'd told her to talk to Ronan and had hung up on her before she could question me. I'd both dreaded and hoped that Eli would reach out to me and I'd hated myself for it. Because it put me right back on the reservation with my grandfather. I was once again a confused, lonely, desperate kid trying to figure out how to make a man look at him with something other than disdain in his eyes.

I felt Eli's fingers begin trailing back and forth along my arm where I was holding him. His fingers stopped on the abrasion on my forearm and I felt his head tilt so he could look at the place where his teeth had marked me. I'd been out of control when I'd been fucking Eli a few short hours ago. There was just no way else to describe it. Feeling the heat of his welcoming body surrounding my naked flesh had just been too much. Add in the knowledge that I'd be branding him as mine and I hadn't stood a chance in hell of keeping myself separate from him. I'd needed everything from him as I'd made our bodies one. Every touch, every whispered plea…I'd been desperate to make sure he'd held nothing back from me as I'd shown him the rightness of our being together. And then I'd filled him and it still hadn't been enough.

Eli gently caressed the abrasion for a minute and then he was carefully pulling free of my hold. I released him and expected him to look at me, but he didn't. He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed and stared out the window for a long time before finally standing up. I couldn't take my eyes from his beautiful body as he walked to the window and pushed back the curtains enough to look outside. He stood there for a while before taking a deep breath and turning back in my direction. His eyes connected with mine, but he didn't speak. Disappointment flooded my gut as I watched him begin to collect his clothes. Once he was fully dressed, I waited for him to walk out of the room. I wasn't sure if he was going to even say goodbye as he left, but as much as I wanted to curl up on my side and close my eyes so I wouldn't have to watch him go, I forced myself to keep looking at him.

No way in hell was I going to let him see that I felt like my insides were being torn apart.

But once Eli had dragged his socks on, he didn't reach for his shoes. Instead he kept his gaze on me as he walked to my side of the bed and sat down. I held my breath as he reached out to skim his fingers across my cheek. Then he leaned down and brushed his mouth over mine in a chaste kiss.

"Morning," he said quietly, a small smile gracing his beautiful lips.

"Morning," I managed to return even though my insides were knotted so tight, I could barely breathe. A gentle brush off was a thousand times worse than a quick dismissal.

Eli kept his hand on my face and his thumb stroked back and forth over my cheek. There was a dreamy, contented look in his eyes that I both loved and hated. I didn't want this to be fucking easy for him.

"I have to go let Baby out," Eli finally said as he lowered his hand from my face and placed it alongside my body so he was hovering over me.

I was going to bite out a dismissive comment, but I held my tongue and merely nodded.

Eli leaned down and held his lips just above mine. "Will you come with me?" he whispered.

I couldn't find my voice to respond to that because my brain was too busy telling me it was some kind of trick. He'd gotten what he wanted – we both had. Yeah, he'd begged me last night not to leave him, but that had been in the throes of passion. Things were different in the light of day.

They were always different.

"We could go have some breakfast," Eli continued. He seemed to struggle for a moment before saying "Please Mav, I don't want this to end yet."

Yet.

Because it would have to sometime.

I knew I was only prolonging the inevitable, but I nodded anyway and as soon as Eli's lips brushed mine, I felt the panic leave my body. When Eli tried to pull back, I snagged my hand around the back of his head and held him there while I plundered his mouth. The same neediness that had driven Eli the night before had now invaded me and I sat up, taking Eli with me. I dragged him against me as I kissed him over and over and he didn't hesitate to kiss me back. I wasn't sure if he sensed my internal struggle, but as my need for him grew, his hand slipped under the blanket and closed around my dick. I gasped against his mouth and held there as he began gently jerking me off. Emotion coursed through me as he stroked me over and over. He acted like we had all the time in the world and he never once reached for his own dick. At some point I grabbed his face with both my hands and for the life of me I couldn't let him go as I pressed our foreheads together. My breathing began to grow heavy as Eli continued his sensual torment and as the orgasm slowly built, I closed my eyes. Neither of us spoke and Eli never once tried to escape the hold I had on him.

It was all about me.

For the first time in my whole goddamn life, I was being put first.

I let out a ragged moan as I came and I couldn't contain the harsh sob that escaped me. I managed to keep the tears that threatened at bay, but as I loosened my hold on Eli, I felt his free hand close around the back of my head as his lips skimmed my forehead. His other hand was still gently stroking my dick, drawing out my pleasure as my body tingled with sensation. I had no idea how long he held me like that for before his lips gently pressed against mine. "Let's take a shower," he suggested.

I managed a nod and could only watch in satisfaction as he lifted his hand to his mouth and licked my cum off of it before grabbing my lax hand and pulling me to my feet. As we began walking towards the bathroom, Eli reached behind his neck with his free hand to pull his shirt off, but when it came time for me to release his other hand long enough so that he could get rid of the shirt, I actually struggled to loosen my fingers enough to let go of him even for a second.

God, I was so fucked.

"We're finally sharing a meal together," Eli said with a chuckle as he bit into the bagel that was loaded with generous amounts of cream cheese.

I smiled and took a sip of my coffee. "I was really looking forward to those enchiladas," I said.

Eli's eyes held mine as they turned serious. "Tonight," he said. "I can make them at your place."

My place.

Fuck, why did I like the sound of that so much? And why did the idea of spending another night with Eli – a date night no less – sound like the best fucking idea I'd ever heard ?

My throat felt too tight to speak so I nodded. Eli's wide smile was like a balm to my soul.

"I have a shift at the hospital this afternoon, but I can be at the hotel by six."

I picked at the blueberry muffin I'd ordered as I nodded again, but then I said, "Maybe I'll come with you. Visit with Matty for a bit." I glanced up to see Eli still smiling.

"Okay."

Eli took the small piece he had left of his bagel and fed it to Baby who was lying at his feet. After getting to Eli's place, we'd walked the dog a couple of blocks to a café that had an outdoor seating area where the dog was allowed. Since it was still early, there weren't any other patrons in the patio section so Baby had free roam of the place, but he never left Eli's side.

I was reaching for my coffee when my phone rang and when I pulled it out, I saw Ronan's name on the caller ID. It had been days since I'd talked to him since I'd put a moratorium on hearing about the surveillance being done on Eli at my request.

"Hey," I said when I answered.

"Are you going to stay with him for the day or do I need to call Dante to relieve me?"

Shit. I hadn't even considered the fact that Ronan might be the one watching Eli in my absence. He obviously would have followed Eli to my hotel which he and Seth were also staying at so they could continue to help Hawke and Tate with shifts taking care of Matty. But since I hadn't called Ronan to tell him Eli was going to spend the night with me, he would have had to spend the whole night in the parking garage or across the street so he could follow Eli whenever he left.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Ronan," I murmured.

"Don't worry about it," Ronan said. "What's the plan?"

I glanced up at Eli who was watching me with curiosity. My decision was easy and I kept my eyes on Eli when I said, "I'm staying with him."

"I've got some information on his case. Do you want to hear it?"

I glanced around our surroundings and finally spotted a nondescript sedan at the end of the block. It wasn't one of Ronan's regular cars so I could only assume it was a rental. The fact that I'd missed that we were being followed was very telling as to where my head was at.

"Yeah," I said and I glanced at Eli again. "Can you join us?" I asked as I made another decision that likely was going to destroy the progress I'd made with the young man across from me.

Ronan was quiet for a moment, probably surprised by the request, but he murmured a quick "Sure," and then hung up.

"Ronan's joining us?" Eli asked, the confusion clear in his voice. He knew Ronan from his visits with Matty, but that was the extent of it.

"I work for Ronan," I said.

Eli nodded. "Security stuff," he said. "Like what Dom does."

Definitely not what Dom did since I had no doubt the man followed the letter of the law and I hadn't believed in that shit in a really long time. "Sort of," I hedged since I really didn't want to get into that with him. "I asked Ronan to have someone keep an eye on you the last few days," I admitted. "Before that I was watching you myself."

Eli stiffened. "You've been following me?"

I nodded. "Since the day you asked me to teach you to fight."

"I…I didn't see you."

"You weren't meant to," I responded. "Eli, I'm sorry, I was worried-"

Eli held up his hand and shook his head and I fell silent. "Why did you stop?"

"What?"

"You said you had Ronan have someone else follow me. That means you stopped watching me after that day in your room when we…"

If the situation wasn't so serious, I would have smiled at the way Eli's cheeks flooded with color when he tried to find the words to describe the day we'd sucked each other off.

"You left me there," he added, the hurt in his voice clear.

I dropped my eyes and shook my head. "It wasn't supposed to happen," I admitted. I lifted my gaze and looked at him. "None of this was supposed to happen."

Eli tensed up and his eyes fell. I was glad I'd chosen the chair next to him rather than across from him because it made it easy to grab him when he started to push his chair back. I dragged him forward and kissed him hard and didn't release him until he began to kiss me back. "Look at me," I demanded.

It took him several long seconds to finally lift his eyes and I hated how shuttered they'd become. I tightened the hold I had on the back of his neck and forced out the words I'd been so terrified to tell him this morning when he'd been leaning over me to say good morning to me. "Eli, last night was the best night of my entire life," I whispered harshly. His eyes finally opened up a bit more and I realized I had his complete attention. "My entire fucking life," I said firmly. "And that scares the ever loving shit out of me."

Eli finally nodded and then brushed his lips over mine before reaching out to wrap his arms around my neck. I sighed in relief as I curled my arms around him and drew him as close as I could. Neither of us stirred until Baby stood up and pressed against Eli, his golden brown eyes focused on the man walking towards us. I forced myself to release Eli and ignored the look of curiosity Ronan shot me before he reached out his hand to let the Rottweiler sniff it. He waited until the animal seemed satisfied that he wasn't a threat before taking the chair across from me. Since I refused to release Eli's hand which I'd grabbed at Ronan's approach, Eli shifted in his chair so that he could face Ronan without putting anymore distance between us.

"Hi Eli," Ronan said kindly. It was something about Ronan I would never get used to. From the day I'd met the man five years ago, he'd been as cold as ice. An emotionless, soulless man whose sole focus was his job. He'd never shown pity or mercy and he'd delivered brutal justice without so much as an afterthought.

Until Seth. Until one young man he'd known for the better part of a decade had given him the strength to let go of his past and merge the man he'd become with the man he'd once been.

But as strange as the new Ronan – or rather the "real" Ronan – was to accept, I found that I liked him. A lot. And I hadn't even lost an ounce of the respect I had for the man who'd given me a new purpose in a time in my life when I'd had nothing left.

"Hi," Eli said with a nod of his head.

"Did Mav tell you he asked me to look into your situation with your stepfather and brother?"

Eli nodded. "He told me he would have someone check it out. I didn't know he meant you, though." Eli glanced at me and then squeezed my hand before returning his attention to Ronan. "Thank you," he said softly. "And thank you for helping him watch out for me."

Ronan gave him a slight nod and then surprisingly settled his hand on Baby's head. The big dog had clearly taken a liking to the man because he was pressed up against his leg. "Caleb's phone hasn't moved since the day Mav asked our tech person, Daisy, to trace it. The last call he made with the phone was to you."

Eli stiffened and asked, "What does that mean?"

"Your brother is okay, Eli," Ronan quickly said since he likely knew the direction Eli's thoughts had taken. Eli's relief was palpable, but before he could ask anything else, Ronan continued. "It took some digging, but we've found Caleb. The day he called you he was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric hospital."

"What?" Eli whispered hoarsely.

"We were able to hack his medical records. It says he was admitted because he threatened to hurt himself."

"Is he okay?" Eli asked. I could feel the tremor in his hand so I pulled him up against my side, not caring what Ronan thought.

Ronan nodded. "One of my guys had been watching the house. When we found out where Caleb was, I asked him to get inside the hospital to make sure Caleb was okay. He saw him this morning. He's heavily sedated, but he's okay."

Eli turned his head into my chest. "He kept saying he was fine when anyone would ask him if he was okay. No wonder my stepdad was so upset."

I stroked my hand over Eli's head. "He's getting help. That's what matters." I looked up at Ronan. "Who did you send? "

"Jace."

I nodded. I knew Jace well. The man had great instincts. "What about Caleb's voicemail?"

"Daisy sent it to a guy she knows who used to do audio forensics for the FBI. He's working on it now." Ronan fell silent for a moment and then motioned his head to the side. I understood the silent request and stroked my hand over Eli's hair.

"Baby, can you get me another coffee?"

Eli straightened and nodded. He brushed his mouth over mine and said, "Black, right?"

I smiled and nodded and then he asked Ronan if he wanted anything. Ronan declined and as soon as Eli commanded Baby to stay and was out of hearing range, Ronan started talking.

"I've asked Jace to keep an eye on Eli's stepdad. We'll know if and when he leaves DC. But I still think we should keep eyes on Eli."

I had already come to that conclusion myself, but my decision was based on more emotional reasoning rather than logic. "Why?"

"Cortano's clean," Ronan said. "Too clean," he added. "But he's got some guys on the books that aren't. Guys from his early days in the military who've had less than stellar careers and hire themselves out to the highest bidder."

"Mercenaries," I murmured.

"I've got Daisy monitoring the ones we know about, but there could be ones we missed."

I nodded in understanding as fear settled in my gut.

"Hey," Ronan said and I realized I'd dropped my eyes at some point. "He's going to be okay," Ronan said softly.

I managed a quick nod. "What else?"

"I'm worried about Barretti," Ronan said.

"Dom?" I asked and quickly shook my head. "No way, I've seen him around Eli. He'd lay down his life for him in a heartbeat," I said adamantly.

Ronan glanced over his shoulder to make sure Eli was still inside the café. "Mav, Cortano helped Barretti get some international security contracts with the government that are worth billions. "

"What do you mean ‘helped'?"

"Cortano has connections with several people who sit on the Committees that award the contracts. Barretti Security Group was doing fine before, but when Cortano put in a good word for them and they got those contracts, their net worth quadrupled. Dominic Barretti and his brothers would lose big if Cortano got the government to pull their contracts."

"When did this happen?"

"The first contracts were awarded eight years ago, but more have been added and they get renewed every couple of years."

I shook my head in disbelief. No way could I fathom that the man who'd nearly kicked my ass when he'd thought I'd laid a hand on Eli would betray him like that. "No," I said again, going with my gut. "No way he'd do Cortano's dirty work for him."

Ronan studied me for a moment and then said, "And his brothers? You so sure about them?"

I wanted to say that yes, I was sure, but the reality was that I wasn't. Eli hadn't talked much about his surrogate family. And money made men do terrible things to even those they claimed to love the most.

"Surveillance of Eli continues," I finally said. "For anyone who might be a threat," I added, acknowledging the ugly truth that the threat might be much closer to home than I would have liked.

"We don't have the resources to watch all of Barretti's men, but I'll bring in a few more guys to watch the ones in Eli's inner circle. And I'll have Daisy monitor them for communications with Cortano. Hopefully this really was just Cortano overreacting to the stress of what was happening to his kid, but I think we need to play it safe and assume there's more going on."

I nodded even though I felt sick to my stomach. If anyone in Eli's family turned out to have ties to whoever tried to break into Eli's apartment the other night, Eli would be heartbroken.

"I take it I should tell Memphis to take you out of the rotation for a while?" Ronan said.

I looked up at him and finally remembered that I'd asked him to have Memphis find me a case that would get me out of Seattle. I saw Eli headed back our way so I merely nodded and tried not to think too much about the look of satisfaction that passed across Ronan's face. He stood just as Eli reached our table.

Eli sat down and passed me my coffee before taking the hand Ronan extended. "I'll see you around," he said to the younger man. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Matty is planning to let you win big today at Tic Tac Toe and he made Seth promise not to get too jealous since Seth has yet to manage to beat him."

Eli and I both laughed at that and to my surprise, Eli held on to Ronan's outstretched hand as he stood back up. He gave a very startled Ronan a quick hug and I saw Ronan swallow his surprise and hug him back before releasing him. "He's a lucky kid to have all you guys in his life," Eli murmured before he sat down again. Ronan smiled, gave Baby a brief pat and then left the patio.

"Everything okay?" Eli asked as his fingers closed over my hand which was resting next to the fresh cup of coffee he'd brought me.

"All good," I managed to say, though lying to Eli made a sour taste flood my mouth. "I was thinking we should have another lesson today," I said.

Eli's eyes sparkled with mirth as he said, "I'm up for that."

I chuckled when I realized what he was talking about and I leaned down to kiss him. "A self-defense lesson," I murmured against his mouth.

"Okay," he said softly as he teased my lips with his. "Do I get something if I knock you on your ass?"

An unexpected surge of lust went through me at his words and I said, "My ass."

Eli straightened a little. "What?" he asked in all seriousness.

I kept my voice low even though there was no one around to hear us. I put my hand on Eli's thigh as I said, "You knock me on my ass this morning and tonight after dinner, you can have my ass."

I let my fingers graze Eli's cock as I spoke and he let out a guttural moan before he slammed his mouth down on mine. When I finally dragged my mouth from his so that we wouldn't end up doing something that would get us arrested, I said, "Deal?"

"What happens if I don't knock you on your ass? "

I opened my mouth to answer, but Eli interrupted me and said, "Shit, I don't care," he said as he stole another kiss. "I come out on top either way."

I laughed at that. "You'll definitely start out on top, but it's up to you if you stay there or not."

Eli growled and reached for the mug of coffee he'd just brought me. "Where are you going?"

"To get a damn to-go cup," Eli barked and I watched him dart back into the shop as fast as he could, not caring as some of my coffee spilled over the edge of the mug. I chuckled and settled my hand on Baby's head when he rested it in my lap.

Yeah, I was fucked all right. In more ways than one.

Because Matty wasn't going to be the only one letting Eli win today.