Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

Posey

G od, my hands are sweating and my stomach is in knots, and all I can think is that I’m not sure I’ll bear up under this pressure of caring for an FI driver.

Lex made it through Q1 and Q2 to advance to Q3, which just started.

The top ten fastest cars, twelve minutes to set the fastest lap.

I’m planted in a section of the paddock, very near the pit wall. I had been so eager to see the paddock because watching on TV doesn’t do it justice. It’s considered the heart of the racing world during a Global Prix weekend where the teams, drivers, media, sponsors and invited guests gather in a temporary city of motorhomes and hospitality suites. It sits directly behind the team’s garage, and on the second floor over said garage is the paddock club.

It’s an exclusive, VIP area where celebrities, sponsors and other important guests can watch not only the action below in the pit lane but on the track’s main straightaway. It’s where Harley has me parked, standing on an outdoor balcony to watch this last round of qualifying.

If I bend over the rail and look down, I can see the pit area where drivers come in for their astonishingly fast tire changes. These are done in two to three seconds, much faster than stock car racing as there is no refueling in Formula International.

Across from the pit lane is the pit wall where each team has an operational command set up. Perched on stools with their headsets in place, the engineers, strategists and the team principal make all the crucial decisions during the race, communicating back and forth with their drivers. Harley’s currently seated on the middle stool with Gareth Elrod to her left and Anya Weber to her right.

The Crown Velocity paddock club is filled with the type of people who like to rub elbows, but I’ve steered clear of it, claiming a spot on the balcony near the corner. Most of the people are inside where the air conditioning keeps things cool, watching the cars on several big screen TVs.

I grip the rail as the roar of engines fills the air, vibrating the metal under my hands. It’s impossible not to feel the electric energy that pulses through the Bahrain International Circuit, but I take no joy in it for my heart is lodged firmly in my throat.

I saw Lex this morning, early, before we parted ways at the track. He had that focused look in his eyes, the one that tells me he’s already in race mode, his mind occupied by the strategy, the car and the competition. He gave me a quick kiss, his hand lingering at my waist for a moment longer than usual, before he was swept into the day’s chaos to get ready for the qualifying rounds.

The last two days have been a blur. Lex has been completely consumed with prep, and I’ve hardly seen him during the day. He’s been pulled in a hundred different directions—photo ops, interviews, sponsor meetings, simulator practice sessions and long hours with the engineers, tweaking every possible aspect of the car. I don’t know how he does it. The mental and physical stressors alone are exhausting, and I’m just watching.

But every night, no matter how busy or tired he is, he’s been in my bed. And each night, we’ve grown closer. It’s more than just physical now—we’ve settled into something that feels like it has weight to it.

Last night, after he’d crawled into bed, his skin still damp from his shower, we talked about the future. Propped up against the headboard, side by side, both of us had our phones out, comparing schedules. It felt weirdly domestic but still a little terrifying as my life will be changing in a big way. I’ve committed to following this man around the world to be with him and I have no clue if I can handle this type of existence. But for Lex, I’m sure as hell willing to try because this is the beginning of my happily ever after.

“You know I’m not willing to let this go when you head back to the States,” Lex had said, his voice low as he scrolled through his calendar. “We’re going to figure out how to make this work.”

I turned to look at him, my heart flipping at the sincerity in his voice. “We will. First things first, we’ll talk to Harley after the race. Then we can figure out what races I can attend and when you’ll have breaks to come visit me.”

He nodded, his thumb flicking over his phone screen as he scrolled. “Here—after next week’s race in Jeddah, I have a week gap before the Australian race. I have to be back at Crown Velocity probably by Wednesday, but we could spend a few days together at the beginning of the week.”

I shake my head, fingers flying over my phone to search flights. “That’s like a thirteen-hour flight from Jeddah to North Carolina. And to just stay a few days, then fly to England. That’s too hard on you.”

“Then you come to Jeddah, then to England with me. Then the Australian race—”

“I don’t think I can be gone that long from my house. Maybe I should go to North Carolina after Jeddah and then meet you in Australia.”

“Nope,” he said with surety. “I’ll just come to North Carolina.”

It was hard, trying to figure this out because he has a home in London, I have a home in North Carolina, and in between he’ll be flying to a different race two to three times per month, sometimes on opposite sides of the world.

When it was all said and done, we managed to plan out the next month.

“What about April?” Lex asked, but it was getting late and he needed sleep because of qualifying. I also knew that we weren’t going to sleep until he had his way with my body, so I tried to push off continued travel plans.

He wasn’t having any of it and insisted we nail down April. “I’ve got a book signing in New York City the first week of April.”

Lex looked at the race calendar. “That’s perfect. We have two weeks between Australia and Japan. I can meet you there and help you.”

I laughed, imagining Lex Hamilton, world-class Formula International driver, helping me sell books. “Okay, but you’ll have to handle taking payments and manning the table.”

He grinned, utterly unfazed. “Done. I’ll charm all your readers into buying extra copies.”

Of that, I had no doubt. I leaned into him, the warmth of his skin against mine grounding me. It was crazy, talking about the future like this, but it felt… right. Like we’re building something real. I kissed him and then our phones were tossed aside and we forgot all about schedules.

But that was last night.

Right now, the sound of the engines screaming down the straights jolts me back to the present, to Q3, where everything is on the line.

Lex made it into the final qualifying session, as did Ronan who set the fastest lap time in Q2. The tension in the air is palpable as the drivers prepare for their final runs. The first few laps have been solid, but nothing earth-shattering. As I watch the board displaying lap times just past the pit wall, I see that Carlos sets the fastest lap, but I have no clue if it’s enough to keep him in contention for pole. Stefan’s car rockets by on the main straight and I watch on the big screen as he slices through the corners with the precision he’s known for. When he finishes the lap, he moves ahead of Carlos on the leaderboard.

For now.

Lex and Ronan are still in the garage, their teams making final adjustments. Lex told me that part of their strategy is to let other cars go out, warm the track and lay down some gripping rubber. Those little details are so fascinating to me, but I’m not sure they’re worth mentioning to my readers.

I’m jolted when Maeve appears at my side, handing me a bottle of water. “Thought you might need this. Nerves getting to you?”

“Why would you say that?” I ask casually, because she has no clue my insides are knotted with anxiety for Lex’s run.

Maeve tilts her head, lips pursed as her gaze lasers onto me. “Come on, love. I see how you and Lex talk to each other and I see how he looks at you.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” I reply with a nervous laugh.

“I saw him kiss you before you two got out of the car this morning in the paddock,” she says with a sparkling grin.

I groan and cover my eyes with one hand. “Oh God.” I peek up at her. “Did anyone else see?”

She shakes her head, red curls bouncing, still grinning at me like a lunatic. “No. But I demand you tell me all the details. Are you having a hot, passionate affair before you head back home to America, then?”

My eyes cut over to the board, see Lex hasn’t come out yet and then back to her. “Um… I think it’s a bit more than that.”

Maeve’s eyes round and then she smiles with absolute joy. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Tell me everything.”

I don’t have time to tell her how things progressed, but I give her the nutshell version that we’ve just grown closer and that we want to try to keep seeing each other.

Hands over her heart, she sighs. “That’s a love story in the making.”

That hits a little too close to home since she’s still not aware of my secret identity. I laugh off such a claim. “We simply want to see where this goes, but it’ll be tough with how much he travels.”

Maeve nods, her eyes catching on the board behind my head and she nods that way. “Look… Ronan’s out. This is the fun part. Watching them push for those final tenths of a second.”

“Fun for you,” I mutter, taking a sip of water. “I’m going to have a heart attack.”

On the screen, Ronan’s car flies by in a blur of silver, green and black, and I watch, holding my breath. He’s fast—there’s no denying that—but when his time comes up, he’s just a hair behind Stefan.

“Come on, Lex,” I whisper under my breath, willing him to take the pole.

And then, he’s on the track. The roar of the engine is deafening as he accelerates down the straight, the car gleaming in the afternoon sun. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch him navigate the corners, the car hugging the track.

“He’s looking good,” Maeve says.

I nod, barely breathing as I watch the big screen. The final sector is crucial, and I know Lex is going to push the car to its absolute limit. When he comes out of the last corner, his car seems to surge and the moment he crosses the line, I hold my breath, eyes glued to the screen. The numbers flash up, and for a split second, I can’t process what I’m seeing.

First. Lex Hamilton. Pole position.

“He did it!” I shout, my voice cracking with excitement. Maeve cheers beside me, and I feel like I could burst with pride. Lex did it. He’s on pole.

I watch as the cars slow on the cool-down lap, and I can’t wait to see him, to congratulate him. He’ll be over the moon, and I’ll be right there to celebrate with him.

For the time being, my nerves are quelled as far as Lex is concerned, but not where Maeve is.

“Let’s go to the garage so we can congratulate him,” Maeve says, turning away from me.

I put my hand on her arm. “Maeve… there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

She faces me, smile slipping a little as concern fills her eyes. “What is it?”

Hands a little clammy, I wipe them on my jeans. “First thing… please don’t say anything about me and Lex. We want to tell Harley first.”

She waves her hand dismissively. “Of course.” Then she almost cackles. “But I can’t wait to see how women react when they realize he’s off the market.”

That should make me want to laugh too, but my nerves are firing on overdrive for what I must tell her next.

“I’m not who you think I am,” I say.

Her eyebrows draw inward as she frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not a reporter. I’m actually a romance author.” I lay it out to her, the entire story and my insidious plan to infiltrate Crown Velocity for my romance book. The more I unveil to her, the more uneasy I become as I can see disapproval etched on her face. “I’m sorry for deceiving you and everyone. After the race, I’ll come clean to Harley and beg her forgiveness. And if it matters to you, I am going to write an article and submit it as a freelancer to sports magazines. It’s going to be a positive piece geared toward women to get them interested in the sport.”

That last little bit has Maeve’s hard expression softening. “You know that a story like this could get blown out of proportion if it got out,” she says pointedly.

“I know and so far, you’re the only one who knows, other than Lex’s parents. I promise though, we’re going to Harley after the race to come clean and—”

“You put me in a bad spot by telling me this,” Maeve says, and I hold my breath to see what she does. “I’m obligated to report something like this up the chain since it could become bad press. If I don’t, my job could be in jeopardy.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. If you feel you need to, I’ll pivot and take ownership. But I’m asking you to consider to not do it because it will detract from the race. It will distract Lex. I promise we are going to Harley as soon as the race is over, so if you can just… I don’t know… hold this secret one more day and then it won’t be a secret anymore.”

Maeve chews on her bottom lip and then nods. “Okay. I can do that. And I’ll figure some way to spin it. If you’re going to be part of this world, it’s going to come to light that you’re not a reporter but a novelist. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not overly dramatic. I mean, you could have been a mafia princess or something. Now that I think about it, it’s quite a dull story.”

I blink at her, not quite sure if she’s being serious.

Then her smile breaks wide again and she leans in to give me a hug. “I understand, I forgive you and I’ll keep your secret.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, gripping her tight. “I’m glad to have made such a good friend these last few weeks. It’s why I had to tell you.”

She pulls back and jerks her head toward the garage. “Come on… let’s go see your man.”

The garage is a flurry of activity when Lex pulls up to it, parking perpendicular to the opening. Ronan’s car is already in the bay.

I stand back a little, watching as Lex unhooks himself from the safety harness and then pulls off the steering wheel, which is not a circular wheel at all but a complex shape of buttons, switches and paddles. It has to come out before Lex can rise from his seat, and once he’s up and free, he bends over to reattach it.

He exits the car, standing tall in his race suit covered in sponsor logos, pulls off his helmet, then his balaclava. Several of his crew members give him backslaps and Harley is there to say a few words of congratulations before she heads into the garage.

Lex’s head swivels, looking around the area as people hustle about. His eyes sweep over me and Maeve but then slam right back to lock onto mine. I smile and flash a thumbs-up to show my happiness, knowing I can’t run and fling myself into his arms the way I want to.

Something fires in his eyes, an intensity I only ever see when we’re in bed together, and he strides toward us. Helmet tucked under his arm, his long legs eat up the distance and I have the feeling he wants to crash into me.

But then his hand is behind my neck and he’s pulling me up to my tiptoes to lay a blistering kiss on my mouth. My first instinct is to push him away because there are dozens of people around who could be watching but the minute his tongue touches mine, everything fades away and there’s only Lex.

When Maeve politely coughs, I pull back, although Lex is a little slower in letting go.

“That was hot,” Maeve whispers under her breath, and Lex shoots her a pleased look.

I’m back in reality though and I look around to see a couple of people staring at us in surprise but then they go back to doing whatever it was they were doing. I don’t see Harley anywhere, and I’m relieved because tomorrow is soon enough for the tough conversation we’re going to have with her.

I give Lex a tiny push on his chest but he doesn’t budge. “Don’t do that,” I hiss. “You could get in trouble.”

He taps me on the nose with his gloved hand. “It’s cute that you think so, but didn’t you know? My days of getting in trouble are over.”

I roll my eyes at him as he laughs and walks back to the garage.

Maeve giggles. “You got your hands full, Posey. That man is crazy about you, but you’re never going to be able to tame all his bad boy ways.”

“I know,” I murmur, watching him retreat. “But I like some of those bad boy ways.”