Chapter 7

7

Davey

"We're going away together!" Mack announces at the table the next morning. "Next weekend. It's going to be great. Just the four of us."

Just the four of us? My chest swells at the thought. "Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise." His sweet blue eyes are twinkling in a way I haven't seen in a while. It makes me want to lean over the table and kiss him.

"A surprise?"

"Trust me: it will be fun. Gah . I can't wait."

I'm grinning as I get up and clear the table. I can't wait either. Whatever it is will be a fun time with my family, and I love seeing Mack this excited about getting to surprise us all.

"What are your plans for today?" I ask him as Van slurps his milk from the bowl and somehow gets it all down his shirt and all over the chair.

"Need to run to the shops for a few things. I was going to take the kids to the park later, but it will depend on whether some of the frost melts."

I hold up both hands with my fingers crossed. "Looking good for a white Christmas."

"Urg, I hope not. Make the snow wait for as long as possible. It's cold enough as it is."

Maybe it's selfish of me to want that magic when Mack gets cold enough on a good day. I shrug and scoop up his and Kiera's plates.

"Ah, I mean …" He hurries after me. "It would be amazing. And I hope you get it. I'll, umm, stay inside. That's all."

"You don't have to want it because I do."

"Of course I do!"

I start at the way he shouts it, and judging by his horrified face, I'd say it caught him as much by surprise as me. I chuckle to break the weirdness. "It's okay. We're allowed to like different things."

Mack hmphs and throws himself onto a barstool.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine." He attacks his thumbnail with his teeth, giving me the very clear message he's not okay. But with his hand up like that, my gaze hovers on his wedding band. The fact he still wears it does strange things to me, even if it's not on his ring finger.

"Hey …" I'm nervous even suggesting this. "Why don't I call Mom and Dad and see if they want to spend time with the kids today? You've had a big week at work, and I know me being home changes the dynamic around here, so you can take th e day to do … whatever." And hopefully, that whatever isn't calling Luke.

"Yeah … That might be good."

I know Mom and Dad won't care because they're usually busier during the week than weekends, and they want as much time with the kids as they can get. If not, I'll take them to the arcade or out for lunch. Something . I'm kind of hoping that with the kids out and me and Mack here alone that we can spend time together.

I'm not sure how to suggest it without I'm still crazy in love with you and want every second I can get falling out, so I zip it and call my parents instead.

Mom is overjoyed, and somehow, I manage the phone call, the drive over there, and then tea with them both without them reminding me that my husband is going to get away and I'm a giant idiot for letting him.

I feel like even more of an idiot when I get home and he's not there though. The house is echoey and silent, and given I was out with the car, that has to mean Mack got picked up by someone.

Luke ?

I huff and dump my things in the kitchen before heading out to my back shed. It's the best place to distract myself because when I get too far into an intricate build, my whole brain goes silent. And silent is what I need.

I flick the light on, and the space instantly comes alive. It's less of a shed and more of my dreamland. We've plastered the walls and installed ultrawhite lighting, and every wall is lined with as much shelving as we could fit inside. Each shelf has mini spotlights, pointing at the sets I've finished and have on display, then right in the middle of the space is a huge five foot by five foot table with everything I need in organized drawers underneath.

This is what heaven looks like.

With all my travel and then having the kids most of the time while I'm home, I don't get to spend as much time in here as I'd like. Kiera's gotten to a good point where she can follow the instructions, but Van still has no idea. I have a bucket in the corner next to a bean bag where he can play with the giant blocks we've gotten him, but I'm always too on edge with the little tornado in here to actually concentrate on what I'm working on.

I make my way along the shelves, inspecting the sets, until I reach my pride and joy. The Millennium Falcon. It hasn't moved, and judging by its pristine condition, Mack really has been out here dusting it for me.

A wave of emotion sweeps over me that even without being here, even with us not being married, he's still looking after me.

That man is too good for words.

Maybe Luke does deserve him? Or if not Luke, someone else who can be here all the time for Mack to fuss over? Who'll appreciate everything that incredible man does.

"Hey …"

I jump at his voice and turn to find him sliding the door closed behind him.

"Thought you'd be out here," he says.

"Not a hard guess though."

He takes a minute to look around. "I love this room."

"Right." It makes me laugh. "You said LEGO is—and I quote—more painful to build than to step on."

"I didn't say I liked building it," he defends, crossing his arms. "It's peaceful out here. "

"Thanks for looking after everything."

"Of course." He rounds the table to come closer. "What are you building?"

"Not sure yet." I duck down to look at the small sets I have sitting ready under the table for when I want to build something quickly.

Mack crouches next to me. "The car?"

"Hmm …" I shift it aside to see what else there is. None of it looks overly interesting. "You're back sooner than I thought," I say.

"Just had to duck to the shops. I said that."

"Yeah, but I had the car."

"I know. Ford picked me up. He said I could borrow Orson's car while you're back since they usually drive to and from work together anyway."

"That was nice of him."

Mack nods. "Ford's a nice guy."

"He is." The thought of him and Orson together still makes me laugh. "I have no clue where their relationship came from, but they work well together, don't they?"

"Yeah. They're happy."

"Total opposites though."

Mack snorts. "Like we can talk."

"Us?" I turn to him curiously. I've never considered me and Mack to be opposites at all. We're both family oriented; we both love Kilborough and our home here. We both prefer quiet nights in than partying, even when we first met. A lot of our values align, and sure, the superficial stuff—like his love of fantasy and my love of Sci-Fi—exists, but when it comes to the real things, we've always been on the same page.

Hell, even work .

It's not something we talk about a lot, but Mack works just as hard as I do, and his position is only part-time.

He's lucky enough to not need to travel for it though.

His sweet, pale blue eyes meet mine.

"We have a lot in common," I tell him.

He taps the box in front of him. "Like what? It's definitely not LEGO."

"No, but … the big things. The ones that count. We both believe in marriage. We both wanted kids. We're both kind to people and believe in second chances. We both put our friends first—" I catch the hollow meaning behind those words in a way Mack probably doesn't. Sure, I put my friends first, but did I do the same with my family? I'd like to think it's a yes, but walking away from Mack will be something I'm torn over for the rest of my life.

I steer the conversation back to safer ground. "So … next weekend. I think I can get it out of you."

His face lights up. "Nope. My lips are sealed."

"What if I guess? Will you say yes or no?"

"Hmm … maybe."

"That's not an answer."

"Of course it is. It means I'll answer unless you get it right, then I'll be all edgy about it."

"Edgy, huh?" I rub my stubble. "Let's see … that science museum in Springfield?"

"Nope!" His expression shifts. "Wait. I take it back. I just realized I can't answer at all, or it will be obvious."

The panic on his face is so cute I can't stop myself from laughing. Can't stop myself from touching him, even if it's only to give his arm a squeeze. He just makes me happy . "You're right. I'll let it go so you can have your surprise. "

"Thank you."

"I'm excited though. No pressure."

"Suddenly feeling all the pressure."

We smile at each other for so long it makes me remember when it was always like this. My heart aches for it again, and I can picture how easily it would be for me to lean forward and kiss him. I remember exactly how those lips feel. Exactly how he tastes and the sounds he makes.

It's sweet, sweet torture to have had it all and lost it. And with no changes in my future, it would be unfair of me to act on any of it, even if I see that same longing staring right back at me.

I clear my throat. "Car one, it is."

I grab the box and stand, and Mack follows me stiffly a second later. Only he's too enthusiastic. He shoves to his feet, hip knocking the corner of the table, and when he jolts back a step, I try to steady him.

Wrong move.

Mack stumbles off-balance and falls back into my shelves, throwing out a hand to catch himself. The whole wall of sets sways concerningly, and while I'm watching my babies, prepared to catch any that fall, Mack's hand closes over the gun turret of my Millennium Falcon.

Instead of catching himself from falling, Mack crashes to the ground, and my spaceship flips and follows him.

I watch, like it's in slow motion, as the set that took me over a week to build hits the cement floor and explodes. Six thousand carefully constructed pieces shoot in every direction, and as the shattering and crashing goes silent, two smaller sets smash over the top of the mess.

The ringing in my ears that follows is deafening .

Mack's mouth is somewhere around his ankles.

"Holy … shit. Fuck. Davey, I'm so … so sorry. I didn't … I didn't mean …" His voice breaks, and I know I need to reassure him, know it wasn't his fault, but my voice has vacated me. I'm frozen.

My pride and fucking joy is a mess of mismatched pieces on the floor. I don't know if I have the energy to hunt down every tiny piece, then sort through the ones that don't belong. Where the hell did I even put the instructions?

"Fuck!" I knew it. I knew I should have glued it. Knew with Van around that I was tempting fate, but I'd wanted to carefully pull it apart when he was older and build it again with the two of them. My fingers get lost somewhere in my curls as my mind races at how the hell to fix this.

Then I spot Mack.

Close to tears.

Looking fucking horrified.

And it hits me: it's just fucking LEGO.

"Hey, it's okay," I say, reaching for him. It's a total fucking lie since I feel like my gut has fallen out through my ass, but I'm not going to let Mack know that. "An accident. It was only an accident."

That part is true. I might be dying over the biggest set I've ever built being ruined, but Mack didn't do it on purpose. In fact, he's been doing everything he could to look after it for me.

I can only imagine how he feels.

I help him to his feet, hating the horrified expression on his face.

"I'll … I'll fix it," I say. "It will be fine."

Mack hauls me into a hug. "I'm so fucking sorry."

He squeezes me against him, and I wrap my arms around his waist, face pressed into his shoulder. Maybe it makes me a horrible person, but fuck. It's kind of hard to care about LEGO when Mack's holding me like this. My freak-out can come later.

Right now, being in his arms, I'd sacrifice twenty Millennium Falcons to have this again.