Chapter 54

Ash

"J ust take it easy today, Ashy. I'm sure it will all be fine," Kai said while squeezing my neck.

"How?" I turned to look at him.

We'd just parked outside the courthouse but were still inside the car, where Kai had been trying to calm me down for the past ten minutes. Today was the last day before the closing arguments, and I was freaking out with nerves. Too damn anxious to go through today alone, I asked Kai to join me. He agreed without hesitation, quickly finding someone to fill in for him at the restaurant.

"If finding the gun wasn't bad enough, Jordan's testimony pretty much sealed the deal," I went on, my hair standing on end just by thinking of yesterday's hearing. It went awful.

Kai's brows pulled close. "Who's Jordan?" He then snapped his fingers. "Oh, that kid who couldn't stop crying on the stand?"

Unlike him, I took the matter very seriously. "Don't joke about it, Kai. It's a serious matter. Jordan spoke for over an hour about how violent and abusive Diesel was toward Shay-Lee, and the jury listened."

"What did you expect to happen?" Kai asked, turning off the engine and unbuckling himself. "That kid dated Shay-Lee before Diesel and is clearly still in love with him."

"So?" I frowned, following Kai, who'd just got out of the car.

"So, I wouldn't be surprised if he lied."

I shut the door behind me and circled the truck until we faced one another. "What on earth are you talking about? Why would he lie?"

Kai snorted. "Why wouldn't he? I mean, he finally had a chance to get back at Diesel. After all, D literally stole his boyfriend."

Kai began walking in the direction of the courthouse as I stood in place, processing his words.

"But that's wrong," I said, finally running to catch up.

"You're telling me you wouldn't lie to get back the person you love?"

I didn't even have to think about it.

"Of course I wouldn't," I said, walking a bit faster so we wouldn't be late.

"Well, I wish everyone were as good as you." He smirked.

Could it be that Jordan lied in his testimony out of envy and spite just to get back at Diesel? Thinking about it, Soren also did bad things when he felt threatened by Kai… but it wasn't the same. Right ?

"Hey." Kai reached to grab my hand. "I'm here for you today, so don't look so worried." He clenched my hand tighter.

Somehow, over the past week, I'd found it in me to forgive him. I guess that in the end, I was no different from Mom or Aiden when it came to Kai.

Even though we were held up in the security check because of the long line, we still arrived on time and were now looking for a place to sit in the busy courtroom. Someone called my name, and I tracked Andrei waving at us. He was there with Jess and Levi, two empty seats beside them. Damnit, we didn't get first row this time. I always tried to sit as close to Diesel as possible.

"The kids saved us seats," I told Kai, who took my hand again before he started making his way toward them. I didn't understand why he decided to hold my hand in this crowded room, but before I could dive deeper into it, my eyes landed on Soren. He was with his back to me while talking to his team. I admired how elegant he looked in his black suit but then remembered what an asshole he was the other night. I still had no idea what made him shift back into his cold self. Maybe he was still pissed at me for sneaking out in the middle of the night? I continued to stare at his back when he suddenly turned and caught me looking, his eyes darting to Kai's and my joint hands. On instinct, I pulled away and broke the connection. Guilt quickly flooded my body, and when Kai turned to look at me, I retook his hand just so I wouldn't feel so shitty.

"You cool?" he asked, and I nodded.

Once Kai turned back around, I dared to take one more glance at Soren. His eyes were still on me, but soon, his PI, an incredibly sexy young man, whispered something in his ear. My heart clenched with how close they looked, and I bit my lip with envy. I often saw them together, and Kai mentioned that Soren was with him the night they bumped into each other at the restaurant. Could he be the guy who was at Soren's house? Maybe. Who knew? Besides, it didn't matter. And yet, I just checked him out again. He had bleached hair, which I knew Soren didn't like since he loved natural beauty. But perhaps his taste had changed? That PI was slimmer than me, with long muscles and a cute ass. Well, that Soren definitely loved.

Asshole.

"Did you say something?" Kai asked, half turning to me in his seat.

Shit, did I say it out loud?

"No." I nervously smiled at him. The second Kai went back to chatting with Andrei, I swore under my breath. For fuck's sake, I was losing my mind. Thankfully, the judge then entered the room, and everyone, including my idiotic brain, went silent.

The final day of testimony began, and at first, there was a feeling that today wouldn't be any different when, an hour in, the prosecutor yelled at Soren.

"You've got to be kidding!" he snarled, eyes nearly popping out of his head. "A new witness at this stage?"

What was going on?

Soren stood up, but unlike Jones, he seemed calm and composed. "Your Honor, it's not just some witness we're talking about," he explained, his voice smooth like butter. "But the only victim who survived to tell us what had actually happened that day."

Whispers erupted around the courtroom at his words, and my mouth fell open in shock. Was he talking about—

"Is this for real?" Andrei whispered, eyes locked with mine. "Shay-Lee's going to testify?"

"I don't know," I said, my heart hammering fast with the news.

As far as I knew, Soren's team hadn't managed to get Shay-Lee to speak. What had changed?

"Did you know anything about it?" Levi questioned, brows furrowed, and I shook my head because it took me by complete surprise. And not just me but Diesel, too. For the first time since this trial started, he straightened up in his chair, body tense as he listened to the argument going on between Soren and Jones.

"Mr. Rogers is in no state to testify," Jones mumbled when Soren stepped closer to the judge.

"With all due respect, Your Honor, Jones is lying. Mr. Rogers is more than capable of testifying, and more than that, he wants to do it. As a matter of fact, I have a signed statement from him in which he states that he wants to testify at this very trial." He then narrowed his eyes at Jones. "Perhaps you missed that day in law school, but isn't it illegal to forbid the victim from giving their testimony?"

They exchanged a few more heated arguments before the judge slammed the gavel on the desk, asking for order in her court.

"Very well," she coughed, fixing her glasses to sit better on her nose. "Since this is indeed an unusual circumstance, I will allow it. But since this case has already gone on long enough, I ask that you make every effort to have Mr. Rogers come to court this afternoon to give his testimony. I will not tolerate any delays." With that, she dismissed the court for a recess and stated that we would reconvene at noon. Shocked, we all stayed seated in our chairs while chaos erupted around us. This might have changed everything.

While waiting for the hearing to reconvene, the guys decided to find somewhere to eat and pass the time. Too nervous to go anywhere, I told them I'd stay here but urged them to go and eat. As much as I was glad to see Andrei, Levi, and Jess giving their full support to Diesel, I didn't love how the trial affected their lives. They were all young men at the most exciting times of their lives. The last thing they needed to do was waste their days in court halls, not to mention the memories it might bring back. But, thankfully, they were all doing fine. Andrei loved keeping his head in the game, and knowing what was going on gave him the confidence he needed. Jess was brilliantly sweet, and his therapist told me he was doing fine. Levi? Well, he was communicating, which was something.

The main reason I skipped the restaurant and stayed here wasn't just my anxiety but my eagerness to speak to Soren and learn more about what was happening. Sitting outside the room I believed he was currently in, I waited patiently, my knees bouncing each time the door opened and someone stepped out.

"Want some?"

Turning my head, I saw the bleached-haired guy standing beside my bench while offering me candy.

"No, thank you."

"Suit yourself." He shrugged, popped a few into his mouth, and sat beside me.

Something about his odd personality made him feel familiar, even though I couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly.

"So, how you doing?" he asked after I hoped he'd stay quiet.

"I don't think I know your name," I said instead of answering his question. It wasn't like he actually cared.

"Eiv," he said between chewing. "I'm working with Soren—"

"I know that."

He swallowed, then turned to look at me with narrowed eyes. "Why do I feel like you don't like me?"

I shifted a bit further on the bench. "I don't know you enough to not like you."

He snorted and placed the packet of candies beside him before cleaning his palms over his pants.

"You know we used to hook up, yeah?"

My eyes snapped to him, and he immediately smiled.

And he wondered why he wasn't likable.

"Relax, hon. I said used to ." He nudged my arm with his elbow.

So they'd fucked. I knew it.

"He sure is fun to be with," he went on while pouting his lips. "But sadly, he's no longer interested in me."

"I don't care."

"Is that so?" He eyed me. "Sure doesn't look like it with that pout of yours."

"How did you two meet?" I asked, mostly to divert the subject away from my obvious jealousy.

"Awww, you really are as cute as he says you are," he suddenly said, eyes locked with mine. "And as handsome. Although, you're not my type. Not really."

He's so scattered.

"You haven't answered my question yet."

He grinned. "That's right."

What was this guy on?

"Anyway, we met at the hospital. I used to work there as a cleaner, and among other things, I had a tendency to look into people's stuff." He scratched his chin. "I guess that was why I got fired… But hey, I mostly only looked and only sometimes took."

Oh my God , now I knew why he felt familiar. He was an older, less cute version of Jessie.

"Anyway, while I still worked there, I met Soren, and we hung out for a few weeks. It was a nice way to pass the time during my shifts. That guy's smart as fuck, you know? Half the time, I had no idea what he was talking about."

My forehead creased while I tried to process what he was saying and focus on the important parts. "What was Soren doing in the hospital?"

"What all the other patients in a psychiatric ward do. Stare at the wall while trying to get better," he snorted. "The wall thing was a joke, of course—don't get offended." He went on mumbling crap, completely unaware of what his words had just done to me.

For a second, I wasn't sure what to think because my heart stopped and my breath caught. Did he just say psychiatric ward?

"Psychiatric ward?" I asked, voice weak.

Eiv's smile immediately dropped as he looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh shit," he gasped, perking up on the bench. "Did I ramble too much? I mean, I was sure you knew about it."

"Knew about what?" I urged while rubbing my palms over my pants.

"About his nervous breakdown." He swallowed hard. "I mean, he was in there for almost three months, and from what I understood, it was right after the time you two broke up, so I assumed you'd have at least known."

I hadn't known. Not until right this second when a complete stranger told me that the man I'd dated and lived with for almost eight years, the man I used to love and probably still did, had gone through a mental breakdown, followed by a stay in a psychiatric hospital. My entire body trembled with this new information, and not knowing what to do with myself, I began chewing on the tip of my nail.

Eiv mentioned it happened soon after Soren and I split up, so could it be the reason—no. I shouldn't jump to conclusions before speaking to Soren and hearing what he had to say. This wasn't the time for me to even be thinking back on those days, but the need to know burned inside me like the need to take my next breath. The idea that I'd walked around the world for seven long years without understanding the true reason behind our breakup made me feel both angry and hopeful. Hopeful? Why? Why was it hope that flared in my heart? There were still so many questions to ask, so many things to discuss—

The door to the office slammed open, and out walked a furious Christian Rogers.

"You'll regret this," he hissed while pointing his finger at—

Soren .

"I think I can handle a few more regrets," Soren said with an easy smile.

I jumped to my feet at the sight of him. So overwhelmed, I almost bumped into Christian, who stormed down the hall like a beast set on its prey. Not that I cared about him when my eyes were locked on Soren, who had lost his smile the moment he noticed me. His brows pulled into an immediate sulk, and he was ready to walk back inside the room when I called for him.

"Not now, Ashton," he said, his voice giving me the same closed-off vibe as the other night.

"Wait," I tried again, walking faster to catch up to him when I stumbled on my feet and crashed forward. I would have fallen flat on my face if not for him stopping me with two steady hands. There was a second there in which neither of us moved, a second of me being in his arms, in his proximity. What I felt wasn't cold but warmth, like the summer I'd been missing for years. The nostalgic feeling was quick to disappear after Soren removed his arms from around me.

"I need to talk to you," I said, eyes begging.

"Now is not a good time." He tried moving away when I grabbed his arm.

"Please, Soren, it's important."

He stopped to pin me with a harsh look that made me shrink into myself. But then he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a room, closing the door behind us. It looked like a library, and I quickly scanned the empty space when he sighed, the sound catching my attention.

"What's so important that it couldn't wait until later?"

Us .

The same word I'd feared from years ago returned to me at once, only now, it didn't fill me with dread. But before I asked the question I wanted the answer to most in the world, I reminded myself that it was no longer just the two of us and that right now, there were bigger things to care about.

"Is Shay-Lee really going to testify?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Soren looked around, biting the inside of his cheek. "I went to talk to him," he answered, something about his voice deeper than usual.

Maybe there was more to it than he was willing to share?

"I need to go meet with him, so—"

"Go," I said before he could find another excuse to get away from me.

He moved to walk out when I stopped him again by saying his name.

"What is it?" he asked.

"When all of this is over, I want you to tell me."

"Tell you what?" His brows drew close in confusion.

"Everything."

Holding my stare, his winter gaze bored into my soul before he nodded, a barely there smile on his lips. Without a word, he slipped out of the room, leaving me alone with so many damn questions.