Chapter 52

Kai

I 'd been fucking up a lot lately.

Like, a lot .

The fact Ash had agreed to come to my place for dinner was a miracle in itself, considering what happened last Saturday. Fucking that waitress was a huge mistake, and I swore something like that would never happen again.

I was done with hookups.

But what if you fuck up again?

The voice in the back of my head nagged me as I stirred the sauce for our dinner. Grinding my jaw, I tried blocking those thoughts away. What I needed to do right now was to focus on the food, to make sure everything turned out tasty and that nothing would get burned.

Burned .

Shit. I'd completely forgotten about the lasagna cooking in the oven. I was supposed to take it out five minutes ago, but caught up in my screwed head, I forgot. Opening the oven, I grabbed the metal pan to pull it out.

"Fuck," I hissed, quickly withdrawing my hand. I'd forgotten to use a towel— what a rookie mistake —and now I'd fucking burned myself. "Shit, shit, shit." I held my hand close to my lips, trying to blow air on it to cool it down.

"What's wrong?" Ash popped into the kitchen, worry written on his face.

"Got a small burn," I yelped as he quickly reached to grab my hand.

"Shit, that looks bad. Do you have any Vaseline or burn ointment?"

"Yeah," I wheezed. "In the bathroom cabinet."

Ash nodded. "Hold on, okay? I'll be right back."

He left my side, and I turned around, still trying to ease the pain by doing this silly dance that never actually helped. My head was a total mess, and between trying not to screw up and worrying over Soren, I was losing my mind. The other day in the police station, when he'd urged me to tell Ash the truth, what the fuck was up with that? We were both jerks. Why not keep the past where it belonged?

Ash came back, ointment and some gauze in his hand. "Here, let me see it again."

Carefully, he held my hand while looking at the burn. It wasn't serious enough to go to the hospital, but I knew it would limit me for a few days.

"We need to run it under cold water," he said and brought my hand to the sink. About ten minutes later, he turned off the tap and began treating me.

"Thank you," I told Ash as he took care of me, his touch nothing but gentle.

"Of course."

I was such a jerk to him and didn't deserve his kindness or forgiveness. I knew it. I knew he was a thousand times too good for me, but in the same breath, I couldn't let him go. I was too fucking selfish for that. I was too greedy to ever give up on him.

"I'm going to ask you something," Ash suddenly said, cutting into my thoughts.

"Of course."

He looked up from my bandaged hand to meet my eyes. "But before I do, promise me you'll be honest."

My chest tightened with nerves as my heart pounded faster. What's he talking about? I swallowed hard, then tried to get some air into my lungs. Could Soren have told him about—

"Why is there a bottle of scotch in your bathroom cabinet?"

Oh shit.

My eyes snapped open with shock because I'd completely forgotten about that thing. Ash's face turned worried by the minute until I had no choice but to explain.

"It's not what you think."

"Are you drinking again?"

"No."

"Using?"

"Fuck, no," I squealed.

"So why do you have that bottle?"

I shrugged. "Just because?"

"So you didn't buy that bottle?"

"I-I did."

He held my hand tighter, and I winced. "O-Ouch."

"Answer me, Kai. Why the hell did you buy a bottle of scotch?" He dropped my hand but didn't move away.

Well, shit. Now I had to speak.

"I almost drank it… but I didn't."

Ash's brows frowned, and he placed his hand on my jaw. "But why?"

I snorted, caressing the back of his palm. "What do you mean why? On Saturday, I thought you were through with me… and it killed me."

After Ash left that evening, I went into a spiral. He didn't pick up the phone, and I started having all these thoughts that he might be with someone else just to spite me; it hurt, and the pain wouldn't go away no matter what I did, so I drove to the nearest liquor store and got my hands on the first bottle I saw. Back home, I placed it on the table and stared at the sealed bottle for about two hours until my phone rang. At first, I thought it was Ashy finally calling back, but instead, it was my kid calling to tell me he saw a shark while surfing. That little monkey… It was the wake-up call I needed. I'd planned to empty the scotch into the toilet and almost did, but at the last second, I changed my mind and instead just tossed it into the cabinet.

"Oh, Kai," Ash gasped after I told him pretty much the whole story. "If I knew, I wouldn't have ghosted your calls." He then wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. "I'm sorry for not picking up the phone. I was just so angry with you," he confessed.

Hugging him back, I leaned my head against him. "I know. It's just that… I kept thinking you were with him , and that drove me nuts. But I swear I didn't drink. You can even check the bottle and see it still has the seal on." Closing my eyes, I took a deep inhale of his scent, forever my nicotine.

"I'm sorry for putting you in this state," he whispered after a short hesitation.

Pulling back, I cupped his face in the hand that didn't get burned. "You don't need to apologize, Ashy. You had every right to be angry with me. But I can't help it… Him being back in our life makes me insecure about us."

He looked away, but that didn't make me stop. Right now, I had the chance to get him back, or at least try. Ash could deny it all he wanted, but when we were in the police station, I saw the way he looked at Soren and the way Soren looked at him. Something had happened between them, and over my dead body would I let that asshole take away what was mine.

Not again .

Soren said it was my job to tell Ash the truth, and he had a point. Confessing first would give me an advantage in this race.

"There's something I need to tell you," I said.

Ash

On my way back home, I couldn't stop thinking about what Kai had told me. To say I was angry would be an understatement. It might have happened years ago, but the wound felt fresh, and time didn't lessen my anger. How dare he do something like this? What was he even thinking?

My anger bubbled in my stomach, giving me no rest. There was no way I'd be able to go home after learning what I just had. Not until I'd given him a piece of my mind. Without stopping to think, I did a U-turn the first place I could and drove straight to his place. What I said about not wanting to discuss anything other than the trial didn't seem to matter in the moment, when all I cared about was getting answers. Getting the answers I deserved.

I didn't bother parking my car straight before getting out of it and strolling to his front door. Vibrating with rage, I clenched my hands into a tight fist and slammed on his door as hard as I could while also buzzing the intercom repeatedly. Soon enough, the door opened, and Soren stepped out.

"Did you trick Kai into seeing us having sex?" The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. They just oozed their way into the world after I'd been thinking them for the past hour.

Soren didn't seem shocked; in fact, he looked completely indifferent.

"So?" I gaped at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. "Don't just stand there. Answer me!"

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks, he nodded. "Yes, I did."

I assumed he'd at least deny Kai's words and that I would be forced to fight with him, but instead, he just confirmed it all? What the hell?

"Are you serious?"

"I am," he said with a straight face, not a single emotion showing.

It made me even angrier.

"And did you use it to threaten him later?" I frowned, hoping that at least this part would be false, only for Soren to confirm it as well.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped, more annoyed with his lack of reaction than anything. "How could you do this? To threaten to take away his child?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just a shitty person, Ashton."

Why was he behaving this coldly?

"Why are you saying that?" I frowned, utterly confused by the situation.

"You came to hear the truth, and I'm giving it to you. Wasn't that what you wanted?" He took a step closer. "You know what? While we're at it, how about I tell you more? Let's see." He tapped his mouth. "Oh, I have a good one. I moved us to New York just to get you away from Kai."

Taken aback by his words, I withered. "W-What are you saying?"

"What I said before. That I'm a shitty person, so how about you leave me alone and go back home to him ?"

I clenched my hands into fists and was ready to answer him when I heard a voice coming from inside the house. I tried to peek over Soren's shoulder, but he blocked my way.

"I-Is there someone in there?" I wasn't even sure why the idea he was with someone bothered me as much as it did.

"Yeah," he answered flatly, causing my stomach to flop. "So, as you can tell, I'm rather busy, so it would be helpful if you'd go home."

My mouth fell open, and I had to swallow before I was able to form a sentence. "W-Why are you acting this way?" I asked, confused. It was a complete one-eighty from when I last came here. He was so warm that day, accepting me with open arms, while now? Now, he was the ice-cold man who'd ended our relationship over steak.

"What did you expect to happen when you came here?" he questioned, his voice like a blizzard. "You thought I'd deny what Kai told you? Or did you hope I'd fall on my knees and grovel for your forgiveness? And quite frankly, I don't even understand why you're here to begin with after you so clearly announced you don't want to deal with anything that's personal."

I shook my head. "I-I came to get answers."

"And you got them, just not the way you wanted." He then checked his watch before looking back at me through eyes that seemed to be thousands of miles away. "I said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not interested in your drama, Ashton. And I'm afraid that's what you're searching for. I don't know why, and honestly, I do not care. Now, if you don't mind, and since I gave you the answers you needed so badly, I'm going to go."

Soren didn't even wait for me to respond before he went back inside his house, closing the door behind him.

What the actual fuck just happened? And why was I more hurt than angry? I'd just learned everything Kai told me was the truth, among other things, such as Soren moving us away out of jealousy. And yet, my mind was more bothered by the cold shoulder he gave me and the fact that he was inside that house with someone who wasn't me.

Soren

My hands trembled after I closed the door, and feeling like I was about to be sick, I had to take a deep breath.

One, two, three, four, five—I counted the seconds passing on my wristwatch until a minute passed, and once composed, I brushed my hand along my shirt to straighten it and fixed the few stray hairs that fell over my brows.

"Was that Ash?" Eiv asked, popping his head into the hall with a spoon in his mouth and a bucket of ice cream in hand.

"Yes, it was."

"And you kicked him out?" He frowned.

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"You bet." He grinned, pulling the spoon out of his mouth and licking its back.

"Be sure to take this shit with you when you leave." I pointed at the industrial-sized sugar he'd brought with him.

Ignoring me, he took another bite. "Anyway, why did you do that?"

I really didn't have the energy to handle him right now. He came here unannounced this afternoon and had refused to evacuate ever since.

"When are you planning on leaving?"

"Not before you answer my question. Why were you such a jerk to him? I thought you were head over heels for your dear Ashton."

Oh, for heaven's sake, I needed a glass of wine in order to handle this nonsense.

"Well, once I lose this case, which seems to be inevitable at this stage, he'll hate me either way. So it's better to make it happen sooner rather than later."

I was in my kitchen, already filling a glass with my favorite wine, when Eiv huffed so loud it could awaken the dead.

"What was that about?" I snarled, annoyed with his permanent eye-rolling.

Stealing the glass from my finger, he brought it to his lips and took a sip. "Nothing. I just never knew you were such a lousy loser."

I grimaced. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused." He took another gulp, then cleared his throat. "But seriously, self-pity doesn't look good on you. I'd even say it ages you."

"Could you please go home and leave me be?"

"See?" He waved his hand at me. "Right now, you look about forty-five."

Now, I was the one rolling my eyes. "I'm almost there."

He laughed. "You're only thirty-nine. Besides, that's not my point."

"So, how about you get to your point and then leave?" I offered through gritted teeth, holding myself back from slamming the wine bottle into his head.

"Fine. Why did you decide to give up?" he asked while placing his hand on his waist.

"I didn't. But let's face it, without using the evidence about Christian's abuse, we've got nothing."

" Eh , wrong." Eiv twisted his lips, and I looked at him, annoyed.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"You might not use the evidence, which I still don't understand why."

"Was being nearly choked to death not enough of a reason?" I rubbed my neck, still feeling Camilo's hold. "Besides, like I said, I wouldn't do that to Camilo."

"And suddenly, you've developed a conscience." He clapped his hands. "Anyway, before you give me that speech about how Camilo needs to be the leading actor in this case or whatever other bullshit you mumbled earlier, remember you have another leading player. Shay-Lee."

"What about Shay-Lee?"

"Get him on the stand."

I snorted. "Oh, sure. Let me just pick up my phone and make a call—"

"Ha-ha." Eiv came to stand closer, leaning into my personal space. "You sarcastic bitch." He then pulled out a note from his pocket and held it between us.

"What's that?" I asked, looking down at the folded paper.

"That, my sexy lawyer, is your ticket to see Shay-Lee."

I raised a skeptical brow his way. "Do I want to know how you got it?"

He huffed. "Not unless you want to be involved with extortion and threatening a poor bodyguard."

"You little weasel." I shook my head at him. Eiv always had his way of doing things.

"Anyway, all I can do is get you into that hospital room. The rest is up to you."

We'd been trying to reach Shay-Lee for months, but because his room was constantly guarded by private security, it was impossible. That was until Eiv took the initiative.

Suddenly, I didn't feel like drinking myself to sleep tonight.

Snapping the paper from his fingers, I flashed him a toothy smile.

"I like you so much right now that I could kiss you," I said.

"Well, what's stopping you?" He wiggled his eyebrows like the little brat he was.

Laughing, I stepped back. "Common sense?"

Eiv reached for the bottle of wine, already filling a new glass for himself. "You know, I liked you more when you were a lonely bitch."

How charming of him.

"Drop the glass, Eiv. We got a lot of work to do," I said, already determined to get back in the race because I might just still have a chance.