Chapter 49

Ash

I met my mom on the beach after she also came to catch some waves. We spent the whole morning surfing, which was a nice distraction from the shitshow I called my life. Once done, we decided to eat lunch at her place. The boys wouldn't be back until the evening, so I was in no hurry to return home. After I left Soren's house, I visited home first to check on the dogs and only then went to the beach. Now, I took them with me over to Mom's.

"Where's David?" David was her boyfriend of three years.

"He's with his kids today."

"That's nice," I hummed, tapping the table with my fingers while Mom checked out the fridge. "How about burgers?" She pulled out a package of ground beef.

"I slept with Soren," I blurted out, watching for Mom's reaction.

Putting the beef back inside the fridge, she kicked the door closed, then turned back to face me. "Yeah, burgers sound great," she said, walking toward me. "How's that for an answer?"

"Sorry," I muttered, already feeling like it was a mistake to bring up the subject. I was never good at keeping things bottled up—not with her, anyway. Not having many friends, my mom was basically the only place I went to unload. She was my official complaining address, whether it was problems with the boys or just life struggles.

"So you slept with Soren?" she asked after sitting beside me.

"Yes."

"When?"

"Last night." She said nothing, and I knew it was her sign for me to give more details. "Kai and I got into a huge fight after he'd been a total jerk, so I just drove there and…"

"Fucked your anger out?" she offered, and I frowned.

"Mom." I'd forever be caught off guard by her directness.

She chuckled. "It is what it is, babe."

"I told you not to call me babe," I grunted while scratching my head. "Kai calls me that, and it's just weird when you do it, too."

"Fair enough." She dropped her smile. "What are you going to do with Kai? I mean, you're going to tell him, right?"

That was the thing killing me. I was still pissed at him, to say the least, but also guilty as fuck over sleeping with Soren. Sure, Kai fucked people all the time. That's how I'd gotten into this situation . But the people he slept with were strangers, while Soren… definitely wasn't a stranger. With my heart rate increasing each time I thought back on last night, I also couldn't pretend it was a one-night stand that I could simply put behind me and go on with my day like nothing happened.

"Maybe I don't have to tell him— Hey ," I whined after Mom smacked the back of my head.

"You can't keep it from him, Ash. It's not fair."

My brows scrunched up. "He sleeps with other people all the time. Including the other night, after we agreed he'd stop doing that."

Mom gave me a pitiful look before crossing her arms. "Just because he did something wrong doesn't excuse you from doing the same."

She had a point.

"You already know what I think about Soren," she went on, not being subtle about the displeasure on her face. "He's a piece of—"

"Mom."

"Fine." She moved her hand through her hair. "I won't tell you what I think about him."

"You mean you won't tell me again ?" I cut in. Over the years, Mom had never tried hiding her dislike for Soren. And that's putting it gently . They'd had a long beef going on ever since I first introduced them, and while I understood both sides, I had sort of hoped it would vanish eventually. Not that it mattered, with Soren and I no longer being a couple.

Rolling her eyes, yet again, she continued. " Anyway , I don't think you should be involved with both men at the same time."

Thanks, Mom, as if I didn't already know it.

Just then, my phone buzzed, and I saw it was a text from Soren.

"Speak of the devil," I said, picking up my phone to read the text while ignoring the dozens of missed calls and messages from Kai. I wasn't in the mood to speak to him, not yet, anyway.

"Hey, can we meet and talk?" Mom read out loud the text, her voice taking a deeper note.

"Is that supposed to be Soren?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.

"I can't sound as pretentious as him, but yeah, basically."

I couldn't help but smile as she started laughing. Putting down my phone, I sighed and buried my face in my palm. "Why did I have to shit where I eat? Soren is handling Diesel's case. The last thing I needed to do was add sex into the mix."

Mom grabbed my neck and squeezed me gently. "Sometimes sex just happens, babe—I mean, Ash ." She got up and walked back to the fridge to pull out ingredients for our lunch. "And if I'm honest, I think you should ignore Soren and give Kai a call."

"Of course you'd say that."

She turned to face me. "What's up with that tone?"

"Nothing," I hissed bitterly. "But since forever, you and Aiden have always given Kai the benefit of the doubt. Never holding him accountable for anything he did. And let's be honest, he fucks up a lot, Mom."

"But he's a sweetheart."

I snorted. "He most definitely isn't. He's selfish, and it's because you keep smiling at him like that"—I pointed at her annoying smile—"that he keeps being selfish. I'm your son, Mom, not him."

Now, it was her turn to pout. "You know I love you the most, Ash."

"It doesn't change the fact you ignore Kai's defects and always encourage me to give him another chance." It had been the same story throughout the years. Like when we were young. Despite how Kai treated me when I first came out, Mom forgave him rather easily. Too easily. Same with Aiden.

"And what's bothering me the most is that you hated Soren from the get-go. You never even gave him a chance."

She tsked before resting her hand on her waist. "That's because he's an arrogant bastard who manipulated you when you were far too young to know it."

I never thought Soren was too old for me and, quite frankly, hated when she mentioned it. Yes, I was young when we met, but old enough to know better and make my own decisions. So when she, or anyone else for that matter, judged Soren for a choice I made, it pissed me off. It pissed me off because by doing so, they completely dismissed me as an individual and immediately put me in a box that didn't fit. Was Soren always in the right? Of course not. But just like he loved taking control, I loved giving it, and slowly, we fell into a complicated relationship that, at times, was toxic. I wasn't so naive that I couldn't look back on those days and understand we were in the wrong, but if there was one thing I knew, it was that I loved Soren. I loved him from the bottom of my heart just as he loved me. The fact Mom couldn't understand it wasn't my problem but hers. And yet, I didn't want to start a fight, so I got up from my chair and walked toward her.

"I'm not saying we were always the healthiest couple, but one thing was for sure: Soren always thought of me first." I wasn't angry with her but tried to have a decent conversation, which was new, considering it was about Soren. "And if I'm being honest with you, he's changed, Mom."

Her brows pulled close. "How so?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure, but… it's like he's turned it down a notch, you know? Don't get me wrong, he's still a lot to handle." A soft smile pulled on my lips, thinking about how ridiculous he could get. "But he's doing better," I said, mostly to myself.

Mom's deep sigh pulled me out of my thoughts, and I focused on her frown.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again."

Leaning in, I kissed her forehead. "I know, and I'm thankful you care. But I'm fine, so don't worry," I said, even though it was the furthest thing from the truth.

"Why are you sulking?" I asked, half smiling, as I watched Soren stir his tea with a sour face.

"You snuck out in the middle of the night like a common thief," he hissed before taking a sip, his mouth twisting with displeasure. "They call this tea?" He looked at the cup, his expression even more annoyed than before.

Sometimes, I wondered if he was British in his previous life.

"I didn't want to wake you," I said, trying not to chuckle at my passing thought.

"How convenient."

"Hey, I felt guilty enough to come all the way here to make up for it." I waved around the coffee shop that he insisted we go to. "So cut me some slack, okay? I already apologized for sneaking out."

Soren placed his cup back on the table before looking me in the eyes. "I'm not some random guy you picked up at a bar for a quick fuck, and I refuse to be treated like one."

If I had known my leaving would hurt him this much, I would have stayed till morning. "Again, I'm sorry for sneaking out without a word, but in my defense, you knew what last night was about."

He crossed his legs and then removed his eyes from me. "Still. I've got pride, Ashton. And I do not appreciate being treated wrongfully."

"And I didn't appreciate you breaking up with me after eight years and then going radio silent, but you don't see me complaining," I muttered as I took the menu to check it out. Suddenly, I was sort of hungry.

"What are you talking about?"

Glancing up, I noticed his sulk had turned into a full-on frown, and not even his glasses were enough to make him look cute at that moment. I adored it when he wore those thin-framed silver glasses that made his eyes stand out even more.

"You know what? You're right." I looked back at the menu. "There's no point in talking about the past." Pursing my lips, I tried figuring out what I wanted. "I can't choose between the chocolate cake and the cheesecake. What do you say?"

Soren's jaw was still clenched like he had taken a bite of a lemon. Back when we were still a couple, I recognized his expressions immediately. This one was the "I have something on my mind I'd rather keep to myself" expression. I hated this one in particular.

Still, we'd come all the way down here, and I'd rather have a nice time than an awkward one. "How about we order both and share?"

"I don't like to share," he said bitterly just when the waiter arrived. "He'll have the cheesecake and chocolate cake while I'll have the fruit salad. Make sure there's no mushroom in anything."

"Mushrooms, sir? Those are desserts."

"Just make sure there are no mushrooms," Soren repeated himself, then took the menu from my hands before handing it back to the waiter, who left us alone after writing down the order with a confused face.

I guess Soren's officially pissed.

"You didn't have to order both. I can't handle two pieces of cake," I complained while he looked at me with a straight face.

"I think you'll manage just fine."

"Is that your way of telling me I've got an appetite?"

He studied me carefully. "You clearly do."

"Why do I feel like you just insulted me?"

Finally, a small smile crept to his lips. "I didn't, so don't worry."

We both fell silent for a few moments, and I took the opportunity to look around the shop, which was beautiful, while Soren looked at—

"Why are you staring at me?" I asked.

"For no reason."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're such an odd person, Soren. Truly."

He seemed surprised by my comment but also amused as he leaned closer. "How so? Isn't it legitimate to want to stare at beautiful things?"

I pointed my finger at him. "Hold on with the compliments, Romeo. This isn't a date. Just a pity meeting for sneaking out on you, that's all."

Soren's sulk returned just in time for our dessert to arrive. Both cakes looked absolutely delicious, and licking my lips, I had no idea which one to try first. I decided to go for the classic cheesecake when my phone buzzed. Checking the screen, I saw Kai was calling me, again . I rolled my eyes and turned the phone to face the table.

"So you two had a fight?" Soren asked, studying me with curious eyes.

Snorting, I took a forkful of cake. "I am not going to talk with you about Kai," I said between chewing.

"But you will sleep with me after you had a fight with him?"

I nearly choked on the chocolate cake I'd just taken a bite from. Coughing into a napkin, I then cleaned my lips. "What did I tell you just now?"

"That you won't talk about Kai, but I asked about me and you. So technically, you can answer my question. You just don't want to."

And now I regretted my choice to come here today. At what point did I move from not meeting him outside the office to having cake with him in a trendy cafe? Maybe last night, when you came on his cock.

My cock seemed to enjoy the fresh memory as it suddenly grew harder in my pants. Feeling my cheeks turning red at the same time my arousal kicked in, I looked down at my plate and shoved more cake into my mouth.

"Easy there, Ashton, or you might choke," Soren said nonchalantly, his words only making me feel hotter.

I reached for my water glass and finished it up in two long gulps, then wiped my mouth with the napkin he'd offered me.

"T-Thanks," I muttered, voice hoarse. My body and mind couldn't seem to cope today, and clearly, I was in no state to casually meet with Soren over tea. I needed to find an excuse to go home. Fast . Before I got another embarrassing boner in the middle of a busy restaurant with Soren sitting across the table. God, I felt like a teenager. Just then, my phone rang, snapping my attention. I half expected it to be Kai. I didn't want to answer, but maybe if I did, it would give me a reason to jolt. To my pleasant surprise, it wasn't Kai calling but Andrei.

"Hey, Andrei—"

"Chief!" he cut me off, out of breath. "You gotta come back home. Now . It's an emergency."

My heart stopped at the same time my blood ran cold.

"Hold on, Andrei, I can't understand what you're saying." I covered my other ear to hear him better.

"The police are here." There was so much noise in the background that I could hardly hear anything. "They're searching the house."

"What's wrong?" Soren asked.

Panicked, I looked to meet his concerned eyes. "Andrei's saying the police are in our house." I told him the little I knew, but that was enough.

Without wasting a second, Soren paid the bill and got us to his car, then drove us so fast I feared we'd be pulled over. Thankfully, we weren't.

"Don't," he said, placing his hand on mine and lowering it from my mouth. I hadn't even noticed I was chewing on my nails. Soren was about to remove his hand from mine when I grabbed it. Somehow, having him touch me helped to calm down my raging nerves.

After what felt like forever, we finally reached my home. Soren hadn't even parked the car, and I was already out of it, running toward the kids, who were standing outside by the front porch.

"Chief!" Jessie was the first to notice me, a smile of relief washing over his anxious face.

"Are you guys okay?" I panted once reaching them, my hands moving over their bodies to make sure no one was hurt.

"What's going on here?" I heard Soren's voice in the background and turned to see him talking to one of the policemen.

"We got an anonymous tip to search around the place," the policeman said while pulling out the warrant, which Soren carefully checked over. My heart was beating fast, and I wanted to tell them the house had already been searched— twice —when a group of officers stepped out of the front door.

"We found it," one of them said.

Found it? Found what?

And then I saw it.

A gun.

The officer beside the man who said "found it" carried a gun in a vacuum-sealed plastic bag. The whole world felt like it was spinning. Between the kids asking me questions, the blue and red lights blinding my sight, the sirens ringing in my ears, and Soren's voice, I had no idea what was happening.

"Ashton Sage?" someone asked, and I turned to face them.

"Yes?" I answered the serious-looking officer.

"You are under arrest for aiding and abetting the concealment of evidence."

"What?" I gasped, trying to understand what the fuck he'd just said as he went on to recite my Miranda rights.

"Hey! Take your hands off of him!" Andrei shouted when the officer turned me around, but I managed to tell Andrei to calm down just before they cuffed my hands behind my back.

Panicked, I looked around at the commotion until my eyes locked on Soren's wide back.

"S-oren!" I called desperately, my voice cracking.

Soren turned around, his eyes widening the second he saw me, and he ran toward us. I think he tried arguing with the officer, but they'd already taken me to the car. The whole time, I was so fucking scared. Terrified would be a better word, when suddenly, Diesel's arrest flooded my memory. Did he feel the same way when he was arrested? And if so, was he still this scared?