Chapter Thirty-Eight

Charlotte

“Good lord, how old is this?” Tamara asked, holding out yet another piece of clothing that I assumed was from the early nineties.

“Old enough to have voted multiple times,” I said. “Toss it.”

“Ugh,” Tamara said. “And this? What is this? It looks like a costume for someone going to school as a depressed clown.”

“That’s mine,” I said, yanking the striped shirt out of her hand and pulling it tight to my chest. “It was a look, all right. I was an emo kid for like five minutes.”

“I don’t remember that at all,” Tamara said. “You didn’t do the bangs, did you?”

“Yes she did,” Mom said from her place among a stack of boxes. “She hated it. Said I didn’t do the cut right. But I wasn’t about to make her look like one of those skater girls.”

“I still maintain you stunted my individual growth there, Mom,” I said.

“I stunted your ability to have embarrassing pictures in middle school is what I did,” she said.

“Mom, why did you keep all this crap?” Tamara asked. “You could have donated all of this a decade ago if not more.”

“I didn’t want to,” she said. “I wanted to keep it around. It made me feel like I was keeping a little part of the two of you around.”

I felt the pain in that statement. She had been hurt when I moved to Oklahoma to live with Dad. She didn’t understand, and I didn’t tell her why I did it. It was still so much of a secret that I felt I needed to keep it. But knowing now how much it hurt her, I wished I had found another way.

“Ooh, this is pretty,” Tamara said. “Look.”

She was holding a dark blue dress, one of Mom’s from when I was little. I vaguely remembered her wearing it. She looked over and smiled.

“I was wearing that the day I found out I was pregnant with you, Tamara,” she said. “After I gained weight with you, I never fit in it again. But I couldn’t bear to get rid of it. It’s so pretty.”

“It really is,” Tamara said. “Look, I think it’ll fit you, Charlotte.”

“You think so?” I asked.

“Fashion show time,” Tamara said. “Let’s go.”

“We’ve got too much to do here,” I said. “Trying to unclutter this house is going to take way more time.”

“We can take five minutes and try on a dress, sis,” she argued. “Let’s go.”

Shrugging, I followed her back to my old room, which was still mostly the same as it ever was. There was a newer, smaller bed, and a lot of my stuff was either packed away or with me, but some of the furniture and other things were still in their place. Tamara sat on the bed as I disrobed, then stepped into the dress and pulled it up.

“That looks great on you,” she said as I looked in the mirror at my reflection. It did seem to fit quite well, and I loved the fabric.

“I like it a lot,” I said. “I wonder if Mom would be okay if I wore it sometime.”

“I think she’d be fine. Maybe you could wear it on a date with Jesse.”

“Maybe,” I said.

“Speaking of,” she began.

I knew she was going to pry. That was her way. She always wanted to be in the middle of the gossip. Plus, I was her sister, and this was a boy she’d had a crush on forever. It made sense.

“Yes?”

“Is this thing really real?” she asked. “I mean, you and Jesse. Do you think you’re going to get married?”

“I don’t know,” I said, then shook those doubts away. “Actually, no, I do know. Yes. I think we will. I love him, and he loves me. It’s going to happen.”

“I love that you are so confident,” she said. “But I do have to, as your sister, make sure you are seeing things clearly. This is Jesse James Galloway we are talking about. Known ladies’ man. Known for not settling down for more than a week with anyone. Ever.”

“Except me, now.”

“Except you, now,” she admitted.

“I know about his past, Tamara,” I said. “I’m not jealous, nor does it make me fear anything. Jesse loves me. He’s been waiting for me. This is real, and it’s going to end with us being old and gray together. But, honestly, for right now? I’m not going to push him to make some big gesture of commitment. I know it’s different from how he’s always been, and I don’t want to make him act like someone he’s not. It’s enough that we are together. I’ll take that.”

“I see,” she said. “I guess I get that.”

She seemed distant all of a sudden, and I turned to look at her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “It’s just that… well, I spent my whole life pining away for these Galloway boys, you know? I’ve dated around, don’t get me wrong. I kissed my share of boys. But in the back of my mind, I always just thought I’d end up with one of them. Now both my best friend and my sister actually have ended up with a Galloway, and I don’t think I will. It’s just… it’s weird in a way, you know?”

“I understand,” I said. “I think. I mean, I get expectations being thrown and all that.”

She nodded. “It’s fine,” she said. “If none of them give me the time of day, that’s just what that is. I’ll find my forever partner. Eventually.”

A car door shut outside, and I looked out of the gauzy curtain to see who it was. Walking across the yard, carrying a giant bag of corn feed, was Logan Galloway.

“What’s all that about?” I asked.

“Logan?” she asked. “He’s just doing a favor for Mom. You know how they all are. If they can be useful, they will. She bought a bunch of feed at the store yesterday and couldn’t get it home in her car, so Logan said he’d get it for her today.”

“That’s awful nice of him,” I said. “Were you there?”

“I was,” she said. “He asked me if we needed help.”

“He asked you?”

“Yeah.”

She didn’t seem to pick up what I was insinuating, so I had to be a little more clear.

“You mean, he didn’t ask Mom if she needed help. He asked you.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she said. “So?”

“And he came over with the feed, and is now just standing in the yard, looking around, like he’s looking for someone.”

“He probably lost his phone or something.”

“Tamara?” Mom called from the other room. “Tamara!”

“Yeah, Mom?” she called from the bed.

“Logan Galloway is outside,” she said. “He asked if you were around. I think he wants to say hi.”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” I said knowingly.

“It’s nothing, really,” she said. “He’s just being nice, like always.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” I said. “Go on. Go see him. I’ll put this dress back and go in to help Mom some more.”

“I’ll be back in there to help in just a minute,” she said.

“Or not,” I teased. “No rush. You have fun.”

“Right,” she said. “Fun talking about corn feed. What a happening life I live.”

She was using the best sarcastic voice she had, but there was something else there too, something that maybe only her sister would be able to pick out. Excitement. Real, pure excitement. The same schoolgirl excitement that comes from finding out a crush is going to be your lab partner for the day, or finding yourself walking along the hall side by side with them as you both head to class.

As she headed out of the door, I watched her demeanor change. She tried to be cool, but within seconds, she was clenching her hands behind her back and swaying, her big eyes blinking heavily as she looked up admiringly at him. Touching his shoulder when she laughed at what I assumed was some dry, cornball joke.

I watched happily as she did everything in her power to flirt with Logan and was surprised when I saw signs that he was flirting back. She might deny it, she might try to convince herself otherwise, but he looked awfully interested in extending the conversation as long as he could.

Leaving them to their flirting, I went back into the living room, carrying the blue dress, and handed it to Mom. She looked at it for a moment, then handed it back.

“This is yours now,” she said.

“You don’t even know if it fit,” I said.

“Yes, I do,” she said. “It fits.”

“How do you know?”

“Because of the grin on your face,” she said. “You envisioned yourself wearing it with Jesse, didn’t you?”

I didn’t say anything, but the blush of my cheeks probably said all that needed to be said.