Chapter 19

Lucy and Rory staggered away from the fair, both with dazed looks on their faces.

"I think my head is spinning," Rory said.

"It's more than yer head. Ye are still dancing," Lucy giggled as her gaze darted to his feet, which were bouncing along the ground. "Are ye missing yer lass already?"

"Well, ah, I would nae say she was my lass exactly…" Rory stammered.

"But I think ye would like her tae be," Lucy teased.

Rory blushed and looked over his shoulder. "I suppose if I see her again…"

"Oh, I am sure ye will. I dinnae think ye can avoid what is meant for ye," Lucy smirked, thinking about how she and Ian had encountered each other.

Rory was smiling giddily, having just received a promise that he couldn't wait to fulfill. Lucy, meanwhile, was eager to see Ian again. She was bemused that he had missed out on the rest of the fair. He had promised to come and find her again, yet he must have gotten lost in his work, as was his habit. She hoped that she might be able to dance with him long into the night, to a rhythm that only the two of them could hear. Lucy teased Rory while they walked along, and their laughter filled the air. He blushed, but she could see the stirrings of a man within him and in an odd way, she felt proud. The day had passed without incident and Lucy began to see what her life could be like, how free it could be without needing to glance over her shoulder and be afraid that she would be discovered. It gave her hope that she might even be able to stay with Ian. If she continued to only go outside when it was busy, losing herself in the crowds… it would be a life of restriction and discipline, but she thought it was worth it if she could be with Ian.

They entered the shop and she called out to him. Worry immediately entered her heart when there was no response. Her gaze fell to the basement hatch. It was open. She rushed down and was stunned to see that the distillery was gone. The basement was empty, with only the faint scent of whiskey lingering in the air. Other than that, there was no sign that a distillery had existed at all. Lucy's mouth hung open, and her mind was filled with terrible thoughts. Had those vile men returned and accosted Ian while he was alone, taking him and the distillery? If so, what had they done to him? How were they going to raise the alarm with the guards? She could not go to them, and Rory could hardly say that an illegal distillery had been stolen.

Lucy raced back upstairs and called out to Rory in a trembling voice.

"I think Ian hae been taken," she whimpered.

Rory was standing beside the counter with Ginger in his arms. He turned to face Lucy and wore a somber look on his face. "I don't think he hae been taken," he said, and then looked meaningfully at two letters that had been left on the counter, along with two pouches. Lucy moved towards him. One of them was addressed to Rory, and one to her. Rory took one of the pouches and opened it, gasping when he saw a large amount of coins shining inside it. He then opened the other and finely made jewels peeked out. Lucy had known the distillery had been profitable, but she hadn't realized it was this successful.

Then, she took the letter addressed to her, stared at the snaking lines of her name. Dread clutched her heart at the contents, for she knew it couldn't be anything good. She dared not unfold the parchment because she did not want to bring the words into reality. Once again, she found herself trying to push back against the outside world, wishing to live in her perfect bubble of a fantasy, even though the words had already been written, even though Ian had already done whatever he had chosen to do.

While she stood there, frozen by fear, Rory unfolded his letter and read it, muttering softly under his breath as his eyes danced around the words. His brow furrowed, and there was a dazed look in his eyes.

"He… he said he's left. He's gone tae start a new life somewhere else, somewhere he can cause nae trouble. He left the forge tae me, hoping that I will continue his Da's legacy. I… I cannae believe it."

"Nae," Lucy sobbed. "Nae, he could nae leave! He would nae leave without saying goodbye!" she sobbed, but then realized that he had indeed said goodbye, in his own way. His kiss had been his farewell, only she had not known it at the time. A lump formed in her throat and nausea swelled in her gut, as though she had been kicked by a horse. Her face paled, and her eyes were lined with sorrow. She felt as though she was going to throw up, and retreated to her room, sinking onto the narrow bed and holding the letter in her hands. Rory came to find her, but she called out to him that she wanted to be alone.

But that wasn't true. She didn't want to be alone, she wanted to be with Ian. Yet, he had made it impossible. He had betrayed her, and she hated him for it, but she still loved him as well. This love ran deep within her, and she could not easily rip it away. She cried, tears falling down her cheeks, along her lips, dripping down onto her hands. Her breathing was heavy and shuddering. She clamped her eyes shut, wishing that if she willed it enough then the world would go away, but it would not.

She was holding the only thing Ian had left her, and in time she worked up the courage to read it. As she did, she heard it in his deep, rolling voice.

Lucy,

I know that you must be angry with me. I'm sorry. Being with you made me think of the future. I wanted a life with you, a life that I had given up on a long time ago, but it is impossible. I have pushed the boundaries of the law and it's only a matter of time before someone comes for the distillery. I cannot let you and Rory pay for my crimes. You deserve to live free of your father's shadow, free of suspicion. You should return to the keep. Take the jewelry I left in the pouch and present it as evidence to the Laird. Say that you found me in a tavern boasting about my success, and that you managed to sneak in and steal it from me. Tell them whatever you must for them to believe you. If Lady Boyd was willing to help you lie once, then she might be willing to do so again. Rory will lie for you too. Blame it all on me. You should be able to live a happy and safe life. I will be branded as a thief because it is only right. I should suffer consequences for breaking the law. If they find me, then I shall accept my fate, knowing that at least I got to spend some time with you.

You will never know how much it meant to me, Lucy. Before you, I was so lonely. I could not see any brightness on the horizon, only a storm. But you came into my life like the sun and I… I almost cannot bear to leave ye. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. I wish my family were still alive to meet you. I wish that we could have the life that is so beautiful in my mind, but we cannot. All I can do is give you a chance to be close with your family again. I know your father is difficult, but you should give him a chance. I would give anything to be close to mine again.

I have left the forge to Rory, so you will still have a friend in the village. Please know that I do this because I love you and that it's the only way to keep you safe. I could not live with myself if anything happened to you. Peace be with you, and thank you. You have made me feel something I thought was lost a long time ago. You have made me feel reborn.

Ian

Some of the words were blurred, and Lucy realized he must have been crying when writing it. She read it over and over again, thinking about him penning the letter, all alone. He seemed destined to be alone. Lucy held the parchment tightly to her breast and wept terribly, knowing that the last few days had been a gift to her, and to himself. For a short time, he had allowed himself to live the life he knew he could never have. He must have planned this days ago, she realized. It explained the shift in his mood, the arguments with Rory. It was maddening that Ian had kept this a secret from her.

Through the tears, shone something radiant. Her inner strength grew, and she blinked away the sorrow, feeling a rising courage taking hold of her. Ian had taken it upon himself to do this for her, but she had never asked him. She had never once said that she couldn't endure the hardships of life that were going to be before her. He had done this all by himself without consulting her.

She slowly rose from the bed, unfolding her limbs and opening the door. Rory was sitting at the table, hunched over his letter, a grim look on his face. Ginger was walking in between his legs. He looked up at Lucy.

"I cannae believe he's really gone," Rory said.

Lucy joined him at the table and slammed her letter down. "He left tae save us. He wants me tae return tae the keep and blame the theft on him, and he expects ye tae support my words. He is eager tae brand himself a thief. He hae sacrificed his own freedom for our own."

Rory shook his head and gasped in dismay. "But he's a fool! Why dinnae he talk tae us about this first?"

"Because he hae been alone for tae long. He knew that we would never let him leave."

"It should nae hae come tae this. I should nae hae argued with him… I should hae been a better apprentice."

Lucy took Rory's hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Ye were the best apprentice he could hae hoped for, Rory. This forge meant everything tae him, and he left it tae ye. He must be confident that it's in safe hands. But he hae forgotten that he dinnae get tae make decisions for us. He cannae just expect us tae dae exactly as he says."

Rory raised his head, looking across at her, a sad look in his eyes. Lucy's eyes were steely, however, and she was filled with a resolve that could not be broken.

"What are ye thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking that I dinnae wish tae return tae the keep, that if there is a life for me tae live, then I want tae live it with Ian. He dinnae realize that I am nae free unless I can be with him. I cannae just let him walk away, Rory. I need tae find him. I am nae gaeing tae let him drag himself intae misery. I am nae gaeing tae accept that I hae seen him for the last time. I feel tae much for that. Dae ye know how many men I hae passed up tae be my husband because I dinnae love them? Well, I am nae gaeing tae pass him up," her words thrummed with determination and she became possessed by a strong spirit, eyes gleaming with a ferocious sense of destiny.