3. Key Club

KEY CLUB

Beinga glorified office bitch was not my aspiration in life, and yet, here I am sitting at the front desk and compiling a list of all of Tabitha's clients to send them an email. I swear she gets worse with every passing day.

Ever since she started fucking Zach Kemper—the co-owner's son—she's been insufferable.

I'm finally finished with the list and I send it over to Tabitha. Aiden hasn't asked me for anything today, which is odd. He's been working so hard and I know how hard everything with Collin is hitting him. It's something you can feel throughout the entire office.

Collin Kemper is loved, and he won't be here much longer. Besides his son, Zach, he's closest to Aiden.

I pull my chair back from my desk and go to his office to see if he wants me to pick him up some lunch or if maybe he needs to talk.

I find him with his forehead down on the desk, taking deep breaths.

"Aiden?" I ask, knocking on his door frame.

My cousin looks up at me, blinking away tears. I walk into his office and shut the door behind me. Out of all of my cousins, Aiden is the most kind, beneath his imposing exterior is a sweetheart.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just Collin. It's everything. I swear to fucking God, if Tabitha comes in here with one more expense report, I might actually lose it."

"Would some lunch help?" I ask him and he nods his head. "Why don't we get out of the office?"

He sighs, but begrudgingly agrees.

I take him to the taco truck down the street. He graciously pays, like always, as we sit down at the picnic table.

"How are your parents?" he asks. He's been skipping Sunday dinners like it's his job.

"Good, retired life suits them."

"I feel like I'll never fucking retire at this point," he grumbles.

"Oh shut up, I don't even have a 401k."

He stops eating his taco to blink at me and I know I'm about to get a lecture that I absolutely do not need right now.

I hold up my hand to stop him. "I'm working on it. I promise."

He sighs and looks at me patiently. "I know this isn't what you want to do forever."

"I'll figure my shit out, Aiden. This lunch was to help you stop worrying about your shit, not to harp on mine."

"It's easier to talk about you. How"s planning going for the fourth of July?"

"Amazing," I beam.

My favorite thing about this job is planning events. Did I think I'd be working here for as many years as I have? No, but this part I actually enjoy.

"Davers and Davers Law Firm and Larry's Pools have both signed the contract, so the yacht is all set up and isn't going to cost us as much as we thought."

"Thanks for handling all that. I know it's a ways off, but I think everyone in the company needs something to look forward to."

I smile. I like doing a good job. But this isn't where I want to be forever. I wish I were one of those people who grew up knowing who they were. Instead, I'm stuck changing who I am every single fucking year and not finding anything that sticks.

Maybe I'm potentially going through a quarter life crisis, but then again, my whole life till this point has felt like one crisis after the next.

"Do you ever feel like you don't know who you are?" I ask, catching Aiden off guard.

"All the fucking time," he replies.

It's not reassuring in the slightest.

What'sthe best way to figure out who you are? Anonymous sex, obviously. My consultation for membership is private. I didn't want to strut through the club, not knowing if Aiden is here.

I might have accidentally stumbled onto one of his personal emails from the club listing what his preferences are. Even though I know I should have exited out of the email immediately, my nosey ass did not.

I should probably go somewhere else, but maybe it's because I'm hard-headed or the fact that it's right down the street from my apartment building, I can't pass it up.

Plus, with what I'm interested in, we would never cross paths.

What I want is beyond just sex with strangers. I want to push the limit.

I'm in the back office with Clara, who handles membership management, as she tells me about the bells and whistles of the club. I don't want to waste her time, so I interrupt her.

"This is all lovely, Clara. I appreciate you wanting to tell me about all the aspects of the club, but I'm looking for complete anonymity."

"Ah, then this is what you're looking for."

She slides me over a brochure with a key hole on the front and it all clicks for me at that moment. It's everything I've been wanting to explore. The desires no one has wanted to delve into with me, that I've been judged for. Maybe Avalon can be the place where I can express myself and figure out who I am, at the very least explore my sexuality without the fear of my heart being involved.

"You'll go by an alias as a member, of course, only the back end staff will know your true identity. If there is anyone you do not want in your room, you'll just have to let us know. Or if you have a scene with someone and would no longer like to partake in activities with them, we can add them to your hardline list. While we understand the point is anonymity, we also want you to be comfortable. Of course, this is a new aspect of the business, so we would have pre-scheduled times through our portal and you select other members' profiles who are interested in the same things as you. This is also where you will list your limits, there will be safeguards in place in the room, but we can go over that next week. The profiles are how we use the online scheduling portal to ensure everyone gets what they want out of the experience. I'll be sending you home today with the paperwork on how to sign into the portal and how to create your profile for the Key Club."

"So if there's someone I know who is a member, I can list them as someone I would not entertain, ever? Even if they don't have a profile under the Key Club?"

"Yes, as well as if you didn't have a good experience, you could put them on your banned list."

"That will be perfect."

"We're still a week from opening up this section. There will be a private entrance for this space, and security measures in place to keep everyone anonymous, since that's the allure of the Key Club. I can schedule you in for Wednesday for a tour."

I flip the brochure over looking at the price and give Clara a tight smile.

"I don't know?—"

She waves her hand. "We can work a discount for the first two months," she says with a smile and I wonder if they don't have many single women interested in Key Club. Either way, I will eagerly take the discount.

Clara waits, and I almost wish the idea of bartering didn't make me want to throw up to lower the price even further, instead I just out reach my hand and shake hers.

She smiles and puts me on the calendar and gives me all the information needed to sign up for Key Club and what I specifically need to do for my portal.

For the first time in a long time, it feels like I'm doing something for myself. I'm not signing up because of a boyfriend or doing what they like. It's something I've fantasized about.

This is for me and for no one else.

I'm so sick and tired of being the girl who changes who she is to adapt to a man. I'm ready to do something just for me. It might not be in the form of me figuring out what I want to do with my life or truly getting my shit together, but despite that, it feels like a start.

It feels like I'm on the right path of figuring out who I am.

The Avalon paperworkis in my bag as I walk home. I'm slightly sweaty by the time I get my mail and head to the elevator. Even though it's not far, I'll definitely order a ride when I come back, especially at night time.

As soon as I hit the button, Lincoln comes strolling in through the apartment doors and stands next to me.

We're both quiet for a long time.

"You haven't spoken to that douchebag, have you?" he asks.

I knew not to expect an apology for the way he spoke to me. I'm not even sure that Lincoln knows how to say the word sorry. He did me a solid by picking me up, expecting anything beyond that from him would just be a let down, at least that's how it's been for the last four years.

"No, and with no plans to. But I told you that already."

"So you did."

"Are you coming to dinner on Sunday?"

"Unfortunately," he says, and I push the elevator button again, even harder this time.

"God-fucking-forbid your family wants to spend time with your grumpy ass."

"It truly is remarkable how they keep inviting me week after week, isn't it?"

I roll my eyes, and Lincoln jams his finger against the button.

"Wow, whoever built this place should have to do time for how shitty this elevator is."

"Shut up," he says, pushing the button again. Carlson Commercial Enterprises built the building. My asshole cousin more than likely pre-approved this elevator company.

The bell chimes and Lincoln holds out his arms as we both walk into the space that feels smaller all the sudden.

I'm not sure when things with Lincoln got so bad. No, I remember when it all went to shit. He had a long-term girlfriend, Vanessa. He brought her to a bunch of family functions and then suddenly he no longer brought her places and that was that. He didn't say why they broke up or what happened, he just turned into this person we all see today.

I don't think I've ever had that effect on a man, and it's probably fucked up to feel this way, but I can't help it. I want someone to care about me so deeply I have the power to destroy them.

Wow, maybe I need to increase my sessions with Deb this week.

The door slides shut and Lincoln leans against the back of the elevator. "How was my brother today?"

"He's losing his mentor, his close friend. He's not doing great."

"You'll let me know if he ever seems too bad?" Lincoln says, and I look over at him.

There are these small moments—little glimpses—of who he used to be. Under whatever baggage he's been carrying, he still cares about his family. He didn't second guess me the other night; he came and picked me up right away. He's taking the time to check in on Aiden when so many others think he's strong enough to handle the pressure he's under.

Lincoln might not be nice, but he is kind.

"I think if Tabitha quit, his life would improve drastically."

"I don't know why he doesn't fire her," he says, like he truly doesn't get his brother's thought process. Maybe Lincoln just has no problem firing people.

"Collin never made his employees sign non-competes. Tabitha has the biggest Rolodex out of all the salespeople."

"I wonder why," he says while making a ridiculous dick sucking motion.

I can't help it, I laugh.

I really try to be all for women's rights and wrongs, but God, that woman is fucking insufferable. She makes my life a living hell some days, and it's nice to know I'm not the problem. She is.

The elevator opens to his floor, and he leaves without saying goodbye or anything else. It's not a surprise, but I start to wonder why Lincoln is the way he is, and maybe he's more misunderstood than I realized.

Maybe me and my aloof cousin have more in common than either of us could have ever imagined.