Chapter 68

Chapter 68

She cupped the cool water in her hands, then threw it into her face. The effect was jarring but revitalizing, so Charlie repeated the trick. Arriving back at Southampton Central, she'd felt uneasy and troubled, as if a dozen different problems, a dozen subtle threats, were crowding in on her. Desperate concern for Naomi Watson mingled with flashbacks to Leanne's tearful anger, before merging with Jennings' snarling hostility. Charlie knew she had to set an example, to support Helen in her dangerous mission to expose one of their own, yet her anxieties persisted. The icy water had a temporarily restorative effect, but couldn't entirely quell her jangling nerves.

Turning away, she grabbed a handful of paper towels, drying her face impatiently with them. There was no point denying her disquiet, yet she was still angry with herself. She wasn't normally this timid, this hesitant. What was it about this case that made her doubt herself? She had to be strong, she had to keep the team in line, she had to lead .

‘Get it together, girl,' she muttered darkly, staring at herself in the mirror.

The woman staring back at her looked beleaguered and edgy, so Charlie turned away, making for the door. But as she did so, she heard something that made her pause. The sound of sobbing.

Pausing, she scanned the room. The sinks were deserted and only one cubicle door was closed, so she padded over to it, the sound of crying growing steadily louder. Hesitantly, Charlie knocked on the door, causing the sobs to cease immediately.

‘Hello?'

No sound came from within, save for short, strangulated breathing.

‘It's DS Brooks. Can I help?'

For a moment, silence reigned, a sad, heavy silence, then Charlie heard movement within. Seconds later the lock slid across and the door opened to reveal a tearful Beth Beamer sitting on the loo seat. The young probationer looked wretched, her cheeks stained with tears, so Charlie quickly stepped inside the confined space, closing the door behind her. It wasn't ideal, the two women virtually on top of one another, but the young officer was in a bad way and Charlie was determined that she should not be discovered in this state. Police stations were no better than schools when it came to unkind gossip, female officers picked upon for showing any signs of ‘weakness'.

‘What's the matter, Beth? What's happened?' Charlie enquired, concerned.

For a moment, Beth Beamer said nothing, staring disconsolately at the floor before slowly raising her eyes to her superior.

‘I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying like this, but … but I don't think I can do this anymore.'

She seemed close to despair, her face white as a sheet.

‘Why? Tell me what's happened.'

‘It's Reynolds,' the probationer replied, choking on his name. ‘He's making my life hell. He … he knows I talked to you about Naomi and he's not going to let me forget it. I've had a dead rat in my locker, my bike tyres slashed, and everywhere I go, everyone I talk to, it's the same. They all give me that look, like they don't trust me, like they don't want me here …'

Charlie could feel a fierce anger rising within her, but she tried to rein it in.

‘Are you sure he's behind it?'

‘One hundred per cent,' Beamer replied bitterly. ‘He's keeping his head down, staying out of my way, but he's got mates in every department, pals who are very happy to put the boot in, to make my life as uncomfortable as possible. He wants me out, I know he does, and he's going the right way about it.'

Collapsing in on herself, Beamer started to cry once more, her anguish and disappointment spewing forth. It was a sight that saddened and enraged Charlie in equal measure.

‘Have you spoken to your line manager about this?' she asked gently.

‘Yes! And the Chief too.'

‘You spoke to Holmes about this?' Charlie replied, surprised by her boldness.

‘Yes, my manager wasn't prepared to do anything, so I went straight to her. I thought that maybe another woman would understand what I was going through, but …'

‘What did she say?'

‘She suggested … she suggested I might be happier elsewhere.'

Charlie stared at the young probationer, aghast.

‘She said what ?'

‘I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't be telling you any of this,' Beamer said quickly, suddenly looking nervous.

‘On the contrary,' Charlie reassured the tearful probationer. ‘If senior management are not supporting our female probationers, then I need to know about it. And you can bet DI Grace will have something to say about it too.'

The young officer nodded gratefully, but still seemed stricken.

‘I just want to be left alone to do my job, you know,' she continued falteringly. ‘Wearing this uniform, serving the community, it's all I've ever wanted to do.'

Charlie felt a flush of recognition, remembering her own childish dreams.

‘I was so proud when I got my stripes, my parents too. But how can I carry on, how can I do the job when everyone in this station hates me?'

‘Nobody hates you, Beth.'

‘You don't see how they look at me,' she cried passionately, her voice shaking. ‘Like I'm shit on their shoe, like I'm scum. Everywhere I go, I feel their eyes on me, hear their comments, their insults. I just can't do it anymore.'

‘Beth, you mustn't give up, not like this. You've worked too hard to throw it away now.'

‘No, no, I've made up my mind,' she insisted. ‘I'll work the rest of the day, then I'm going to hand in my resignation.'

Charlie stared at the probationer, stunned. Drawing breath, she crouched down, taking the young woman's hands in hers.

‘Listen to me, Beth. I know things seem bleak now, that there's no way out of this, but you have to hang in there. Young women like you are the future of this force, the brightest and the best. If you let Reynolds and his cronies beat you, then nothing will ever change. I know it's hard, God knows I've been through it myself, but you have to hold the line. I will deal with Reynolds and his pals, DI Grace will too, making it abundantly clear to them that if they so much as look at you in the wrong way, it'll be them leaving Southampton Central. All I need in return is that you stay strong, stare them down, that you refuse to be beaten …'

For a minute, it was as if Charlie was talking to her younger self, memories of past battles and indignities looming large in her mind. Which is why she invested her words with real passion, as she concluded:

‘You cannot let them win.'