20. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I fly into Meg's arms the second she drags her feet out of her given bedroom for last night. She has a serious case of panda eyes and hisses when I squeeze her too tightly.

"I am never drinking again," she groans. I roll my eyes, leading her downstairs.

"Yeah, right. Until the next time," I smirk. I slept surprisingly soundly in Huxley's arms for the remainder of the night, waking without the hangover Meg is currently sporting. Unfortunately for her, I've already made plans for today. We've only got one weekend together until Fall Break, and I can't let it be wasted sitting in dark rooms in silence.

Entering the kitchen, I instantly smell coffee. Dax spots us in the doorway and smirks, grabbing another two cups. Garrett and Axel are facing away from us, sitting on stools to be hunched over the island. Axel is still, leaning on his hands, while Garrett's shoulders are flexing as he eats his breakfast. I approach, giving him a wide berth. Maybe, inhaling would be a better way to describe the way he's attacking a plate piled high with waffles, bacon rashers and a thick layer of syrup. Dax puts a cup in my hand.

"Do you have any aspirin for Meg?" I briefly take my eyes away from Garrett's knife and fork to address Dax. He's leaning against the counter, his biceps stretching against the cotton sleeves of his black shirt. His slacks have been pressed and shoes have been shined. Reaching for a packet on the windowsill, Dax smiles when he catches me checking him out. That's right, he has his board meeting today. "Thanks," I pass the meds over to my best friend who has slumped over the island. "We'll be quick and get going."

Suddenly, Garrett's head shoots upright, his mouth full of food. "Where are you going?!" he muffles, but that's not why my jaw drops. Deep purple blemishes mark his beautiful face, his eyes black and nose busted. By his side, Axel looks over to me gravely, a sigh passing through his taut lips.

"Holy shit, Garrett!" I step forward and place down my cup. "Are you okay? What…wait, was it- "

"Totally worth it? Hell yeah." Somehow, through his bruises and split lip, he grins. Within the dark rings, his brown eyes glisten with mischief and he manages a wink, albeit a slow, painful one. It seems I wasn't the only one Wyatt paid a visit to last night. On cue, Huxley walks into the room, assesses his injured friend and rolls his eyes.

"One of us is going to have to straighten this shit out," Huxley mumbles, passing by me as if last night didn't happen. I'm thankful for it. Being vulnerable isn't something I like having advertised. The air around the kitchen shifts, unbeknownst to Meg. She swallows her meds, drinks her coffee and grabs my wrist.

"Come on then. Let's get on with this torture." I purse my lips, being tugged along behind her.

"It's called a hike, and it's good for you." Waving goodbye over my shoulder, I wriggle out of Meg's grip once we're free of the house. Resisting the urge to look back and see if my hunch that Wyatt is standing in one of the windows is right, I lead the way through side alleys and shortcuts back to the dorm block. Meg's bright pink BMW is shining in the morning rays, sticking out from the rest of the cars in the parking lot.

Kay is nowhere to be seen in our dorm, which is expected. Whilst waiting for Meg to perk up, I wash, change into my activewear and prep the picnic basket I had delivered through the week. It came pre-packed with dry snacks, but I figured we'll grab some pastries and drinks along the way. Rolling a blanket and stuffing it between the handles, Meg emerges from the communal showers, seeming much more herself. Her eyes have their intense topaz appeal back, her brown hair pulled into a high ponytail. I've done something similar to mine, leaving a few blonde wisps free at the front.

"For the record, next time - I'm planning the activities," Meg smirks. I concede, knowing they would include binging a romance series and doing face masks. Something we've done a thousand times, but with such an active life at college, Meg prefers the comfort.

"Deal. Although, you have to admit, it's nice to do something different for a change." Holding my phone high in the air, we pose with our tongues out for the camera. I send the selfie to Nixon, promising him there will be many more today. He won't believe I voluntarily opted to go for a hike, so photo evidence is needed.

We leave the dorm block, a skip in our step as we make our way over to Meg's car. Just as we near, three figures step around the side, playful smiles on their faces. I quirk a brow at Huxley's tanned boots and cargos, Garrett's sweatpants and backwards cap, then Axel's basketball jersey and the backpack he's shouldering.

"Um…what are you guys doing?" I ask, already anticipating the reply. Striding forward, Huxley plucks the keys from Meg's hand .

"You said we were going for a hike. What's the destination?" His chocolate-filled eyes hold me hostage.

"Well, I thought we'd head to Silver Birch Creek, but when I say ‘we', I didn't mean…" It's too late. Huxley is entering the driver's seat, while Garrett slides into the back with a shit-eating grin and Meg giggles under her breath.

"I didn't feel like driving anyway," she half-shrugs. Taking the passenger seat, I don't miss her extra little laugh that I'm now left shimmying into the middle in the back. Axel and Garrett sandwich me in, their arms and thighs pressed firmly against mine. Neither actively touches me throughout the entire drive, and somehow, that's worse. After last night, the tension in my veins crackles with electricity, my mind reeling as I continually look over Garrett's hands. His fingers are long and skilled. At least Wyatt had the decency to leave them alone.

After a brief stop at a bakery, we eventually turn into an off-road parking lot. It's fairly busy, many wandering into the distance with trail maps and huge cameras looped around their necks. Hopping out in my Converse, I tie my pale pink hoodie around my waist and smooth down my tightly fitted leggings in the same color. They do wonders for my ass, the high waist band sitting just beneath a white crop top. Once Garrett has finished stuffing our snacks into the picnic basket, Meg links her arm through mine .

Silver Birch Creek, as the sign states over the entrance, consists of over two-thousand acres, historic mill ruins and guided hiking trails. ‘A Must-See,' the internet declared when I was searching for things to do after Waversea. Although now we're entering with three gorgeous men in tow, I'm all too aware of the judgy stares we're receiving. Just a group of youths looking for a public gangbang, apparently.

We enter as a comfortable silence falls over our group. Each of us seems content to take in the wildlife, to appreciate the nature. It's a stunning time of year to visit, with the leaves turning into vibrant oranges and reds. Huxley breaks apart first, strolling a small distance back. Garrett and Axel share tender looks, despite the sight of Garrett's face. I'm still reeling over Wyatt's actions, and Garrett's too for that matter. Another reminder that I can't become complacent around this lot. I never know what they're thinking to do next.

Focusing on placing one foot in front of the other, we begin to climb a rocky slope. Trees line our path, birds tweeting from the branches and a perfectly blue-sky visible overhead. Garrett's brown hair is swishing side to side as he dances to a song in his head, the basket swaying in the crook of his left arm while his fingers are intertwined with Axel's on the right. I smile in earnest, catching Axel's hazel gaze. There's a sweetness to their relationship which doesn't need a label. It just is .

We breach the tree line beside a wide, flowing stream. Thick boulders are scattered across the width, creating steppingstones we could follow all the way down the river. To the right is a raised outcrop the water pours from, creating a mini waterfall amongst the serenity. Craggy rocks protrude through the flow to form slippery ledges.

"First one to the top gets to make-out with Avery first!" Garrett suddenly shouts, shoving the picnic basket into Meg's arms. I try to shout after the three of them that I'm not some prize to be won, but they're already leaping across the boulders in a bid to reach the waterfall. There's no way they'll make it up there, but my heart thunders anyway.

Looking around the river, I notice a steep pathway winds alongside the mini cliff. A thin yet worn rope creates a barrier from the steep drops either side. Grabbing the basket, I'm shoving Meg in its direction with my teeth clenched.

"Bitch, move. You need to get to the top first," I grind out. She's still sluggish from last night but thankfully, the adrenaline starts to work inside of her. Pumping her legs in her little summer dress, leather jacket and biker boots, those years of lacrosse come in handy. We run as fast as the rocks crumbling beneath our feet will allow. A glance to our left shows the boys trying to drag each other down, too involved in their rivalry to notice us as we pass them. My calves begin to burn with the strain of a rushed climb but that doesn't stop the smile spreading across my face .

Nearing the top of the cliffside, Meg skids to a stop and I narrowly avoid slamming into her back. Between us and the grassy planes awaiting the boys, is a thin, rickety bridge. In the excitement, Meg must have forgotten how high we were rising from the ground. Now there's an open gap in the earth and a dark plummet awaiting underneath, she steps back into my arms.

"Hey, it's okay," I soothe her hair. "We don't have to do this, we can just head back to the car and get out of here. Leave the guys to make-out with each other." Meg laughs, despite the tremor in her voice.

"As if you wouldn't prefer to watch." We share a knowing look. Despite the figures scaling the waterfall nearing, I don't rush her. "Okay," Meg straightens and nods. I give a gentle tug on her hand, reassuring her we don't need to do this, but she's adamant.

As I watch her grip the flimsy rope like a lifeline and take tentative steps, I'm in awe of my best friend for the millionth time. She's always so tough, stubborn to a fault, but she never lets her fears conquer her. Since we first met as young girls, me in her mom's therapy office and her the free spirit sketching in the lobby, I've tried to model myself after her. I reckoned if I could have a scrap of her resilience, I would be alright eventually.

As her foot settles on the grass, she leaps forward and throws her arms in the air. I make quick work of the bridge, finding it's rather steady after all, and join her cheering. The view up here is incredible; dense forest on either side of the river stretching for miles, its lush autumn colors sparkling in the sunlight. Fresh air mixed with salt and pine fill my senses and a gentle breeze caresses my face. It's perfect.

Meg is quick to shrink down beside a tree, preferring not to stare out over the horizon. Axel spills over the ridge first, quickly followed by the others. They're soaked through, shirts sticking to their bodies.

"What took you guys so long?" I laugh, leaning down to touch the water. It's surprisingly warm trickling over my hand. Garrett stomps along the river in his sneakers, kicking a splash of water over me. I gasp and run over to the tree, ducking into Meg's side.

"Don't bring me into this," she smirks, shoving me away. The three guys stop before us, waiting patiently as I raise my brow.

"Come on then," Garrett gestures between Meg and me. "You owe us a show." I smirk, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"You first." Garrett pushes his hands into his pockets, not caving as easily, whereas the other two barely hesitate. Huxley and Axel grab their t-shirts and peel them off with delicious slowness. Meg's hand grips mine, centering us both in the heaven we've just tripped into. They're gorgeous, the sunlight at their backs appearing like halos.

Huxley holds more bulk, whereas Axel is leaner, but his abs and that sensuous V dipping into his waistband is no less defined. Skilled fingers drop to their buttons and zippers, and my mouth goes dry. Despite being in bed with Huxley last night, and waking with his solid cock pushed against my ass, watching them strip is something else entirely. They exude lust and confidence.

Dropping their trousers and shorts, they lay out their clothes in the sun to dry before laying out our picnic blanket. Axel pulls a second, albeit slightly damp, one out of his backpack and the three of them lie before us, questions in their gazes. I can't stop looking, the landscape of the creek suddenly losing its appeal. Dark ink is splashed across Huxley's thigh and Axel's shoulder, the same decayed skull as on Garrett's hand staring out. Each one is unique in how the shadows spread across the skin.

"Do you all have a skull?" I ask, reaching out to trace Huxley's. He doesn't seem to mind. Empty eyes appear hollow against the shaded bone, teeth open on a scream while thick black ink drips downwards in thick rivets. Tracing the image with my fingertips, his dick jumps behind his boxers and he quickly takes my hand in his.

"The Shadowed Souls," Huxley shrugs in answer. "We're bound for life."

"And what does it take to become a Shadowed Soul?" I quirk a brow in an effort to keep the conversation light. It doesn't work.

"You need to have suffered greatly and broken free," Axel answers, staring just past me and into the distance. As usual, his hazel eyes are haunted and I feel compelled to crack open his secrets. I want to understand the way the others do, to know how to comfort him. Garrett, laying in his soaking wet clothing, watches me carefully, his expression darker than usual amongst his bruised eyes.

Clearing her throat, Meg asks who's hungry and instantly, Garrett is back to his full, gleeful self. He takes a majority of the offered pastries, despite the size of the breakfast I saw him eat this morning. I honestly don't know where he puts it. We eat, my hand remaining in Huxley's for some unexplainable reason. Stretched across the blanket on his side, his long hair drips onto the grass. Luckily, the sun is warm enough to dry them off before they catch a chill. My mind wanders.

The view is beautiful, but I don't see it. The Shadowed Souls. Bound for life. Until recently, I thought I had a support system who would always be with me, too. I had the family I'd always dreamed of as a scared and lonely child. In a matter of months, I've had the life I loved torn away from me. My mom is gone, I can't see Meg as often, or the therapist I'm used to, and for the first time, I feel a twinge of anger at Nixon. Like me, he is grieving, but where I sought to remain close, he chose to throw himself into his work. He relocated me and left without even asking how I felt about it. A heavy sigh escapes me, my thoughts growing dark.

"Do you think Wyatt will ever forgive me?" I ask out loud. Confused gazes swing my way. Garrett leans his arms over his knees, the illustrative tattoos on his arms facing upwards. I take his distraction as a chance to investigate further, stopping between Bart Simpson and the Pringles man.

"Wyatt is our boy, but everyone knows you haven't done anything wrong. Even him." I snort at this. It sure doesn't seem that way to me. Garrett smiles sadly, running a hand through his brown hair. A trio of Mario characters flex on his bicep. "Hell, in another life, there's no doubt you would have been one of us. You've suffered worse than we have."

Meg tenses. We have an unspoken rule to leave the in-depth conversations for my sessions with her mom. She's the best friend I can rely on to help me forget my past, not remind me of it.

"It's okay," I laugh but the sound isn't convincing. "At this point, they know more about me than you do." I briefly dip my head into her ear to explain how Wyatt stole my transcripts. The pain that not only he, but all of them, read the documents burns with a betrayal I have no right to feel. These guys are a bit of flirty fun, but they don't owe me anything. Least of all, their trust.

"Anyways. From where I'm sitting, on the outside ," I emphasize, keeping that clear barrier between us, "it doesn't seem to be about who has suffered worst and least. You each have your own demons and pasts you've endured. Call me a hypocrite, but I just don't see where Wyatt comes into it. He had everything, and he gave it all up."

The silence that follows is damning. Either they secretly agree, or they know something I don't. When no response comes, I decide to wash my hands of this conversation. It was worth a try, to gauge the burning need for information I always crave. In my head, if I could just understand Wyatt a little better, maybe the events of the last ten years would make sense. But once again, I'm affronted with the truth that there's nothing redeemable about him.

"Okay, well, moving on, " Meg injects. She's scrolling through her phone, hunting for the song that starts to leak from the speaker. Don't Start Now by Dua Lipa. I instantly grin, remembering the corny dance routine Meg and I made up to this song on repeat in the dance studio back home. She jumps up with a grin and drags me with her.

"Oh no, no, no," I shake my head. Meg doesn't care, kicking my foot to bend it artfully. Our routine is a mix of my ballet and the breakdancing class she was taking at the time, never supposed to see the light of day ever again. Linking her arm in mine, she follows through the seven poses, our legs bent in a plié to start.

"Have you seen Avery dance? She's phenomenal," Meg raises her brows at our present company. I smack her for embarrassing me. Ignoring the blush in my cheeks, the guys lap up our stupidness as if it's addictive. I've never seen Axel smile so wide or noticed how deep his dimples are. After a few small hops and some fancy footwork, Meg attempts to lift me. The move was much simpler when we were eleven and not fully-grown women, and definitely didn't end with me yelping as the ground nears. We collapse in a heap of laughter, slicing through the tranquil setting.

"I sure hope you don't do that during your showcase," Meg giggles, shoving me off her. Dusting myself down, I roll my eyes.

"I've already told you. I'm not doing the showcase. I'm just learning the routines so I can assist in the practices." It's a decent excuse and better than admitting I just want to be available if the other girls might want help. Making friends isn't easy when you've been introverted for the entirety of your teenage years. Besides, spending my evenings dancing is the perfect stress reliever and Theodore seems to enjoy the extra chance to play his compositions .

"Well, that's bullshit," Meg sighs, looking to Huxley for backup. "Tell her she's too good to sit on the sidelines." Hux freezes, torn between the two of us folding our arms and waiting to see which side he's on. Garrett barks out a laugh and saves his friend from choosing.

"No one can tell Avery to do anything she doesn't want to. But if you do decide to sign up, Peach, I'll let you borrow Axel for those massages you seem to like so much." My cheeks flame as Meg gives me a curious side glance. Axel watches me from where he's still laying in Garrett's lap, his haunted gaze not giving anything away.

"It would be selfish to hide your talent," he says in earnest. I scrub my hands over my face.

"Ugh, well it doesn't matter anyway," I wave them all off. "The auditions are today." Meg looks as if she might murder me.

"That's why you planned this hike in the middle of goddamn nowhere!" she shrieks. I exhale from my nose and purse my lips.

"I mean, it was recommended as one of the top attractions in the area," I start but Meg is already rushing to pack up our stuff. "Wait, no. It's a lovely day, let's just chill and enjoy the view for a while longer." Meg spins on me so fast, I thought she might slap me.

"Avery Hughes. This is your fresh start to live your life and experience things that never would have happened to you sitting in that manor. I can't get dressed up to support my best friend if you don't do anything. Now get your shit, get down that hill and get to your audition." She's a flurry of movement, throwing the guy's dried clothes at them. Just like that, our afternoon is packed up early while I stand around and whine.

"Seriously, this is ridiculous. We will literally never make it in time."

"Watch us," Axel walks towards me with focused intent. Being the object of his hazel eyes is unnerving, but then he scoops me up in his arms and starts the incline of the hill with long strides.

"I can walk, you know," I wrestle against him. This is just like when he tried to carry me across campus during my first week, except this time, I wasn't quick enough to decline. His broad shoulders and chest close around me, the embrace becoming filled with his salt-infused scent from the water.

"I know," he muses, his jaw brushing my hair. "But then I don't have an excuse to hold you." I shudder, keeping my mouth clamped shut. I can't trust what will come out. Melting into Axel's hold, Huxley soon runs past with Meg slung over his shoulder, squealing. Garrett is quick to join our side, his hungry gaze running over my body .

"I'm excited to see what our Little Swan can really do," he and Axel share a secret smile, completely tuning me out.

"Your little what?"