Chapter Thirteen: Don’t Go Changing

Mac

DON'T GO CHANGING

Performed by Aly I was watching her. I had to do something to put distance between us. Otherwise, I was definitely going to end up kissing her. Not just kissing her, but pulling her to me and devouring her. I hit pause.

"Why'd you stop it?" she asked, turning to me, her smile fading as she realized how close we still were on the couch. Her eyes flicked down to my lips and back up to my eyes as they had the night before.

I barely held back my groan and pushed myself up. "We need libations."

I went into the kitchen and took out the blender, a container of vanilla ice cream, and frozen fruit from the freezer. I'd made her curious enough that she followed along with me.

"Because all that sugar seems like a good idea when you can't sleep," she laughed.

I smiled at her. "Just wait."

I hit the mixer button then took the lid off, tasting it with a spoon, as if I had to check it. I never had to check it. Making milkshakes was second nature to me, but I was playing a ridiculous game that would probably cost me more than her. And yet, I couldn't help myself. "Here, taste it and tell me what you think it's missing. "

I offered her a scoop on the spoon. She had to come close enough for me to put it in her mouth. It was torturing me, but I was hoping it was torturing her also. When I removed the spoon, she ran her tongue over her lips, and all I could think was how badly I wanted to taste her. Lips. Tongue. All of it. The sweet scent of vanilla and berries that was an addition to her normal cherry-blossom smell.

"I don't think it's missing anything," she said quietly, unable to meet my gaze.

"It is." I reached over her into the cabinet, my chest rubbing along hers for just a brief second, building the tension between us instead of removing it like I'd intended to do by leaving the couch. She didn't back away from me. I brought out a bottle of marshmallow vodka and waved it in front of her before going back to the mixer and adding it to the milkshake.

"A little nightcap for our sugar fest. Should counter the effects nicely."

She laughed. "You really do have a sugar tooth."

I just nodded. I did. I'd rather eat a brownie for breakfast than leftover pizza, but not many people knew that about me. I poured in a hefty dose of the flavored vodka, hit mix again, and then scooped more out with the spoon. I went to offer her a taste but didn't know she'd moved to watch me, the sound having been dulled by the noise of the mixer, so when I turned, the milkshake went flying off, hitting her in the face and hair.

We both stared for a stunned moment, and then I burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, you didn't just do that," she said, and I couldn't tell if there was anger or laughter or both in her voice.

She wiped at her face and then, before I'd even expected it, ran both her hands down the sides of mine, dragging across my five o'clock shadow, eyes full of humor. I was shocked into stillness that she'd retaliated so quickly. That her hands were on my face. That she was so closeour bodies were bumping and speaking to each other again.

I grabbed her hands, turning my face so that I could lick one. The berries and vodka were all sticky sweet, and yet, they still didn't cover the taste of her skin. She didn't fight me. She didn't pull away.

"I think I'd like to kiss you again," I told her, the desire that was burning inside me echoing in my voice. I felt her pulse increase beneath my fingertips, rising to a crescendo, just like my own.

"It isn't any better of an idea now than it was then," she said, but her breathing was coming in gentle puffs. "Actually…it would probably be worse."

"That kiss was the best damn kiss either of us have ever had," I argued.

"We were just taken in by the sea, and the day, and the turtles."

I couldn't help a slow smile. "The turtles?"

She pulled away, flicking on the faucet. "They were pretty amazing."

I could only see the side of her face now, but I could see her lips quirking. The tease mixed in with her truth.

"You think our kiss was perfect because of the sea turtles?" I asked, knowing she was just trying to remove the sexual tension that was building between us. Knowing she didn't believe it any more than I did.

" I never said it was perfect. That was all you. But I do believe we were just caught up in…the whole adventure," she said, drying her hands and then placing the counter between us.

"That wasn't why it was perfect," I pushed. It wasn't. It was perfect because she'd fit into me like no woman that I'd ever kissed. Except she didn't fit…did she? Could I just date her like Dani had suggested? Could I date her and have her in my arms only to let her go?

I wasn't sure I could. I was pretty sure that I'd want to keep her just like I'd thought before I'd learned anything about her past and her family. It irked me that it mattered…that I was ready to let go of the chance at something beautiful because of what others would say.

"You keep using that word, perfect, Mac-Macauley. I knew you had an ego, but really."

We stared at each other for a moment. Waiting. Who would break first? And would it be toward each other or away?

"Thank you," she said quietly, eyes still on mine. "But I think I'm going to skip the libations and head to bed."

"Georgie," I breathed out her name, remorse in my voice as she moved out of the kitchen. Remorse for more than ruining our night. Remorse because of the things that were holding me back from following her.

"It's okay, Mac."

It wasn't.

"Finish watching the movie," I said .

She shook her head, going toward the stairs to the loft.

"Another night," she replied, her voice emotionless.

I hated myself, and I didn't. Because I needed the space as much as she did. Tonight had proven one thing: there was no way that the energy that existed between us was going to allow us to just live together as friends. The pull was already too strong. I just had to figure out what exactly that meant for me before I could persuade her of anything else. Before I could pursue her in any way, shape, or form. So, I let her run…and I thought that even she knew it wouldn't be forever.