Chapter Four

Deacon

In the Army things changed in a matter of seconds and I'd learned early on to roll with the punches. For the most part. It was when my chopper went down that I really failed at it. All I could think about was my family. I hated thinking about them worrying, especially when I was so damn lucky.

When the chopper went down we lost three of our men on impact and while there were so many bigger concerns that we had to deal with at the time, my heart still ached for those men and their families. Strong, noble, courageous men, friends, that fought to save our country, dead. They would forever be remembered for their bravery, but was that enough? It felt like cold comfort sometimes.

The rest of us survivors went into hiding for a few days. We had to and were fortunate to not have sustained any major injuries so we could without concern. It was safer for us to find a place to go off to than risk enemy fire.

For me, the whole objective suddenly became about surviving, getting home safely. I was so close and so ready to be home, I didn't want to jeopardize any of that. This time things were different. I was different.

The first time was the most difficult. I ended up in a PTSD program at a short-term residential treatment center. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was what I needed. And I knew it as well as my family did. My father didn't like it, though, said it was a sign of weakness that his boy shouldn't have. But I wasn't going to let my pride, or his, get in the way of getting the help I needed. And because I did get the help I needed, and no longer displayed signs, I was deemed capable to return to duty.

This time, things were better, I was better. I was ready to be a civilian again. For good. I wasn't getting any more wild ideas about re-enlisting. It was time for me to be home.

I felt a punch on the back of my arm and turned around to see my youngest brother, Colton, watching me stare at an old family portrait that hung on the wall in our parents' house.

"It's been a while, right?"

I shook my head and turned to look back at the picture. "Since we've all been together? Yeah, I'd say so."

He smiled. "Maybe we should get a new family photo one of these days, what with our new additions and all."

"When Wyatt's back," I said, thinking about our brother who was still serving.

"Definitely. Mom might want us all to match, though," Colton said, cringing.

I couldn't help but smile at his words. It was such a stupid thing to be talking about, but this mundane conversation was exactly what I needed. I wrapped my arm around his neck and rubbed the top of his head. "It's nice to be back, bro."

He got out of my hold and chuckled. "Yeah, it's good to have you back."

"Shouldn't you be with the rest of the family?" I asked, nodding my head to the patio, where everyone was getting ready for a barbecue.

Dad was working the grill, something he loved to do, and the rest of them were chatting, enjoying the warm weather. It was a bit humid, but not so much that being outside was brutal.

He raised a brow and crossed his arms. "Don't you think you should be with the rest of the family? You just got back."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I just needed a minute, is all." I added, "It was nice meeting Scarlet and Sabrina in-person, though. They seem really great."

Colt laughed. "Yeah, polar opposites, but then again so are Damon and I, so I suppose it makes sense that I would be engaged to Scar and Damon would be married to Sabrina."

"I still can't believe they eloped." I snorted. "I don't know why I'm surprised, though. If anyone was going to elope in Vegas, it was always going to be Damon."

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I wish Scar and I eloped."

I furrowed my brows and stuck my hands in my pockets. "You're not happy she's having the baby before you two tie the knot?"

He shooed the comment away. "Nah, it's not that." He explained, "I just wish we were married, you know? It seems like it's never going to happen. Planning a wedding is," he paused, as if searching for the right word or debating if he should even say what he felt.

I raised a brow and dared him to be honest.

"Okay, it's the worst," he admitted. "But she loves it, so I can't deny her. Plus, Sabrina and Mom are helping, but when does it end? I just want to do it already."

I laughed and patted his shoulder. "Patience was never your strong suit."

"Come on, bro," he said, changing the subject and steering me away from the picture. "You don't want to miss all the fun, do you?"

I chuckled. "Never."

As we were heading back outside, the doorbell rang. Colt looked around, as if counting everyone out. "Who could that be?" he asked.

"I have no idea, but I'd like to find out. You go on, I'll be out there in a second."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's probably no one important."

Once Colt was gone, I exhaled. No one good was ever on the other side of the door, especially when my entire family was already here. So who the hell could this be?

I pushed open the door to see the back of a woman's head. Whoever she was, she had dark brown curls that fell down her back. It was in that moment that recognition dawned on me. I knew that hair. Overcome with a sense of familiarity, my body tensed, my mind raced, and my heart ached.

But she was walking away. Why?

"Hello?" I asked trying to get her attention.

Everything in me told me to take it slow, I could be way off base here, but it was useless. I was suddenly very aware of my feet and instructed them to stay put. She was walking away, after all. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't Jenna.

But what if I was right and she came to see me? Why?

You still love her, what's to say she doesn't still loves you, you idiot?

I looked down and thanked my lucky stars when I spotted something on the ground. It had to be hers. My excuse. I moved my feet and suddenly was tailing behind her. "You dropped something," I said to her back, closing the gap between us. I laid a hand on her shoulder, silently pleading with her to turn around.

After what felt like an eternity she did and my whole body went on alert. I saw her smile, her beautiful smile. Those brown eyes of hers, liquid chocolate. And those full, pouty lips that just begged for me to suck them.

My Jenna.