Chapter Thirteen

Jenna

I ran a hand down my arm, suddenly feeling a chill in the air. I couldn't seem to look away, though. I couldn't stop staring at him. I blinked, needing answers. "Michael, what are you doing here?"

He grinned. "Your mother invited me, darling. Isn't that lovely?"

Lovely? That was not the word I'd use to describe our current situation.

My blood began to boil as my eyes darted from Michael to my mother. I could barely believe she orchestrated this, knowing I was coming with Deke, at her insistence no less. I looked around when I noticed he was no longer at my side, but he was no where to be found. It was just Michael, my mother, me and a half a dozen of her friends in groups talking and drinking. Where did he go off to?

I cracked my knuckles and was just about to point a finger directly at my mother and tell her the exact choice words I would use before going off to find Deacon. Before I could get a word out, though, she was at it again. "Doesn't he look handsome tonight, Jenna? This is a man whose arm you want to be on, isn't it? I know when your father was young, I always loved when he wore a jacket. Had a suit just like this, in fact. Is this Dolce, Michael?" she asked, fingering his lapel. "So nice."

"It is. You know your designers," he answered, smiling pathetically at my mother like he was over the moon she liked his suit.

I arched a brow and couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You two obviously don't need me. You're clearly both enamored with each other, so why don't I leave you two alone?" I ran my hands down the sides of my dress, my eyes darting elsewhere now. "I'm going to go find Deacon."

"Jenna, don't be so rude. I hear how much he's been missing you, how you've been dodging him lately." She gave me a pointed look.

He chuckled good-naturedly. "She's just trying to play hard to get. She must've learned a thing or two from you," he said, winking at her.

Was he flirting with my mother?

She brushed him off, still smiling. "Oh, you're quite the charmer, aren't you? I knew I always liked you, Michael."

"If only your daughter would admit her feelings to me the same way," he returned, looking at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes. "I have a better idea, why don't you two have each other, I'm sure Dad won't mind. Now if you'll excuse me," I said once and for all turning on my heel. There was no way I could stand idly by and watch this exchange for another second without wanting to vomit.

Away from them, I released a sigh. "Where did Deke go?" I asked myself.

Crossing to the other side of the pool, just by the cabanas, I felt a hand wrap around my arm. Deacon. I spun around to see his stern expression.

"We should get out of here," he said and I could tell he was serious. He should only know just how much I agreed with him.

He narrowed his eyes and I looked at him curiously. "I know, Jenna." He gritted his teeth.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat that I feared would close my airway soon. "Know what?" I was almost too afraid to ask, but judging by the look on his face, I already knew what he was talking about.

He didn't answer, just snarled. "Not here," he finally said.

I nodded and followed him out to the car. When we were out of earshot of my family and the other guests, he stopped to face me head on and through gritted teeth asked, "What were you thinking, Jenna? Lying to me this whole time!"

I went to talk, to say anything to defend myself, but I was silenced when his hand sliced through the air, as if stopping me before I could get a word out.

"Don't! Don't lie to me." He angrily raked his hands through his hair and grunted. "How could you keep something this big from me? A baby, Jenna? You were pregnant!"

I looked around to make sure we were still alone. We were.

"What's the matter, Jenna? Don't want to make a scene? Because it would ruin this new image you made for yourself?"

The way he said my name with such disdain and contempt made my stomach turn. I thought I was going to be physically ill. "Deacon, please!" I begged. "Hear me out." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to cover myself from his cold stare and icy wrath. "I never wanted to keep this from you. It just happened."

"It didn't just happen." He pointed an accusatory finger in my face. "You made it happen."

I tried to hold back my tears, but knew I wouldn't be successful for much longer. "Can we just get out of here and talk this through? Please," I urged.

When he didn't respond, only stared at me with a blank expression, I added, "You said you were going to fight for me, but you don't have to anymore. I love you, Deacon. I want to be with you. We were finally giving this another go. Please don't do this."

"Don't do this?" His jaw ticked with anger. "I didn't do this. You did this to us. And what was all that crap with that guy—Michael, was it? That was the married man, right? I mean, shit, Jenna, you looked pretty shaken to me when you saw him. Do you still have feelings for him?"

I sniffled and tried to speak, but my voice betrayed me. No words came out.

He pulled at his shirt, unbuttoning more of the buttons. "I need some space." He looked around and I knew what he was thinking—that he was going to walk away.

But I didn't want him to. I shook my head profusely. "No, we need to talk about this."

He wouldn't hear me, though. "I'm going to find my own ride."

I just stood there, arms wrapped tightly around my waist now, as though shielding myself from any more pain, but it wasn't working. I dropped my hands and rubbed them together as I watched Deacon walk away from me, from everything he vowed he'd fight for since the minute he got back.

I cupped my hands over my mouth and sobbed, letting the emotion fully wash over me and the tears pour down.

Next thing I knew, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked down to see it was a woman's, specifically my mother's, as I turned around and came face to face with the wicked witch herself. She whispered, "I told you, dear, a long time ago—Deacon isn't the man for you. Maybe it's better this happened now before things got any more serious between the two of you."

I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe any of this. My mother and sister had set me up. I was just a pawn in their stupid game.

"This didn't just happen, you set me up," I shouted.

"I just brought Michael over to see you, actually. Your sister did the rest," she pointed out as if that mattered any.

Damn Francesca for being Mother's little minion again!

"You knew!" I yelled. "I did everything you asked of me. All those years ago, I got my life together as you so kindly put it. I joined the DAR. I acted the part of dutiful, obedient daughter. Then, recently, when you asked me to help you plan this farce, I did. I did everything you wanted of me, so why? Why would you hurt me in this way? Betray me?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You were getting in too deep again and I didn't want you losing yourself again."

"I can't lose something I never had, Mother. I am only everything you made me, not who I really am. Not around you, anyway," I argued back.

"This discussion is over, Jenna. I did this for you. To protect you. You may be angry right now, but in time you will see reason. You'll see I only did this out of love."

"Love?" I spat out. "You wouldn't know what love was if it bit you on the ass!"

"Jenna McAllister! I am going to pretend you didn't just say that for your own sake."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Mother. I am a grown adult and you may have been able to have me under your thumb at one point because you were keeping my secret, pretending you cared about me, but you really screwed yourself this time because now you've got nothing on me and I know the truth. You don't really give a damn about me, never have. You can no longer control me. I'm done. Done with you. Done with all of this."

"You don't mean that," she returned.

I crossed my arms and gave her a stern look. "Damn straight I do. I mean every single word. You and Francesca can go straight to hell for all I'm concerned."

"Jenna, you are part of this family, whether you like it or not."

"Yeah," I said and raised a brow, "well, it turns out I don't like it at all."

"You can't just throw us away like yesterday's garbage."

"I'm still part of this family, Mother, but in name only."

She shook her head. "You work with your father. You think he'll accept this kind of childish behavior? If you think he'll ever make you partner, you're wrong."

I couldn't argue with her for another second, so I turned on my heel, face still wet from my tears, and walked away.

From her.

From this place.

From all of it.

Everything I'd feared for so long had finally happened—my secrets unleashed, my life destroyed, and worst of all my mother was at the helm of it all. That's what I got for being a McAllister, for leaning into the whole family thing they made look so appealing.

And she was right, I would never be able to cut them out of my life, like the cancer they were, not so long as I still worked at my father's law firm.

And it was because of that there stood no chance for Deacon and I.

Worse, he knew my dirty little secret.

I knew I should've kept him at bay, not letting him get too close. It could never work. I knew that. Yet, I deluded myself into thinking otherwise. Tonight was the stark reminder I needed.

Too much separated Deacon and I.

Time apart.

My secret.

My parents.

My sister.

The men I dated in between.

Our child that never had a chance.

The Army.

It was all just too much. And it all caught up with us.