Chapter Seventeen

Wyatt

Brandy showed up at my door an hour late, which wasn't all that surprising, but the redness in her eyes was.

"Have you been crying?" I asked, instantly concerned. I brought my hand up to reach out and touch her cheek, but then thought against it.

She shook her head, brushing me off. That smile I usually looked for was nowhere in sight. I watched as she crossed her arms, almost using them as a shield. I didn't know what she was shielding herself from, but she sniffled before saying, "The valet is holding my car. He said you can bring yours around and park next to mine so we can transfer my bags. I figured we should save time where we can since I'm late. And please, don't say anything about that. I already know I put us behind schedule."

I narrowed my eyes and stared into hers, waiting for a tell, for her to give me something, any sign of what was going on with her. Because this was not the same Brandy that was in my hotel room just the other day, laughing and going on and on about caffeine. So, yeah, maybe before I would have said something, but once I saw her, there was not a chance in hell I'd bring that up. I wasn't dense, something obviously happened and she just wasn't opening up about it. Yet.

"Okay," I agreed. "Come on, let's go," I said, picking up my suitcase and my garment bag that contained my suits for the wedding and the more formal events this weekend.

She reached for the garment bag. "Here, let me help."

"I've got it," I insisted and ushered her out the door. I made sure it was closed behind me and hung the do not disturb sign on the handle since I didn't need anyone stopping by for the next few days to clean up.

All the way down to the lobby, she was quiet. I didn't want to push, so I gave her what she needed—space—and let her be. Outside, she was no different. She was almost robotic, going through the motions until I opened the door for her and she slipped in.

I looked over at her and could tell her whole body was tense. She was looking out her window and I so badly wanted to place my hand under her chin and make her look at me, to make her tell me what was going on. I ignored the nagging need to make everything better for her, though. "Music?" I asked, turning out onto the road. The sun had already gone down for the day and the glow of the moon was casting all the light on us in the small space.

"Sure," she said almost immediately, like she didn't really care one way or another.

I decided to start with the radio and see what it offered. I scrolled through the channels until something good was on. "Good?"

I peered over and saw her nod. Nothing else. Usually she would already be talking my ear off. Frankly, it was concerning and I didn't like it one bit. I hadn't realized it before, but I liked when she talked. In a weird way, I looked forward to it.

It was very obvious something was wrong with her and it killed me that I didn't know what it was and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. Trying to lighten the mood and make her smile, I joked, "Are you going to fall asleep on me?"

I turned my attention from the red light we were sitting at to her as she shook her head. "No."

"Good because I didn't bring a thermos of coffee. Figured it'd mean less pit stops. My next cup will be when we fill up for gas," I explained my way of thinking.

She pushed her seat back a little and relaxed the back. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all. Get comfortable. But I was serious. If you're going to fall asleep, let me know." At least that way I wouldn't be talking to myself like some weirdo for God knew how long before I realized she was asleep in the seat next to me.

She laughed. "I won't, trust me. In fact, I can drive for a while if you want to switch off later."

"Thanks," I said and let the silence envelope me as she sat back solemnly. I couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind. I hated that something was obviously bothering her and she didn't want to talk about it. If anyone understood that feeling it was me, but it just irked me that she was feeling that way. It was so out of character for her.

Just as I was about to say something, Brandy turned the radio off and adjusted her seatbelt to shift in her seat. Facing me now, she spoke barely above a whisper. "Nathan cheated on me. I walked in on him with some woman in our bed this afternoon."

I let out a low whistle. "Woah," was all I could think of to say. Well, that explained it all—the crying, the quiet, everything.

"Yeah, woah about sums it up, I'd say."

"What happened exactly?" I wondered aloud, but what I was really thinking was how stupid was this guy to cheat on her. He had to be a real Neanderthal. No two ways about it, I decided. I didn't even know the guy and I already knew everything I needed to know—he was an idiot.

A woman like Brandy deserved to be treated as good as gold. Didn't Nate know that? How could he not? He had something good, great even, and he went and screwed it all up. Frankly, he was lucky a woman like Brandy even walked into his life, and to just let her go, to cheat on her? Yep, he was an idiot, all right.

Answering my question, Brandy said, "I came home early to pack. When I got in, I actually thought he'd surprise me with something special before I left. Instead, he was banging some redhead in my bed. How dumb am I?" I went to speak, but then her eyes widened and she gasped. "You know, technically I'm having you drive all the way to Destin when there's no point. You don't have to go with me anymore, Wyatt."

I shook my head. "You already told your mother," I reminded her. "And your family's going to be expecting you to show up with someone. You don't need anymore bullshit on top of what you've already been through."

"Thank you, but are you sure?"

I nodded. "Don't even think twice about it."

She leaned back and got more comfortable.

"And to address what you said earlier, you're not dumb at all. If anyone is, it's him."

"Thanks, but you didn't see the woman. She was gorgeous. Your typical vixen. Red hair, big boobs, long legs. Nothing like me," she said in too much of a self-deprecating tone.

With my eyes still on the road, I took my hand off the wheel and reached for her hand. I gently gave it a reassuring squeeze and then brushed my thumb over her hand. "Don't say that. You're gorgeous. And smart, and caring. I mean, look at the lengths you're going to, bringing me, a virtual stranger to your cousin's wedding just to make his life easier and appease your mother. He's obviously just a dumb ass and a pig."

Squeezing my hand now, Brandy smiled. "That means a lot, Wyatt. And you're right, I'm a total catch," she said, fluffing her hair and acting proud. "It's just, why does it hurt so bad?" she asked, her voice falling again.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's what happens when you invest yourself in someone else and they disappoint you. I don't think it can be helped, unfortunately."

She laughed and made one of those knots on her head with some band. "Yeah, well, I've decided I have a plan."

I nearly laughed. Brandy and her plans, I thought to myself. Somehow I wasn't so sure they were all that good for her. So far her latest one didn't seem to be working too well for her. When this little trip was over, there'd be no Nate for her to go back to. But she was better off without him. Plans, I mused, really never did work out. Just look at Susan and I. We had our whole lives planned out—finish college, get jobs, have a baby. Those were all blown to smithereens when she died, though. Then, suddenly, I was planning a funeral and enlisting in the Army. Now, here I was, pushing thirty, single and partner in a field I never imagined entering.

Interrupting my thoughts, she asked, "Aren't you going to ask me what it is? My plan, I mean."

I glanced at her before turning my attention back to the road. "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking." I shook my head. "So tell me, what's your plan?"

"Why thank you for asking. So, it's a three point plan." She popped up one finger. "Number one, I'm done with men." She popped up a second finger. "Two, when I get back, if his shit isn't out if my place, I'm starting a bonfire on the beach. You're invited, naturally." She popped up a third finger. "Three, relates to number one. No more trusting people. Everyone eventually lies and disappoints you."

I was with her until that last one, which I found funny coming from her. I liked to think there was a certain vulnerability that came with trusting someone else and that led to authenticity. Without it I wasn't sure you could live a full life, experience everything there was to experience. Life was too short for anything but having real, meaningful experiences. "You're not that jaded and you shouldn't let one asshole change you," I shared.

"No, I really think it's for the best. Come on, when has trusting someone ever worked out for you?" she questioned and waited, looking at me expectantly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Well, I trusted you enough to go along with this scheme and it's working out just fine."

"Yeah, until you're back home and you regret your time away from work or something else," she countered. "Disappointment."

"I see," I said. "Well, then you better check back in with me when we get back. Then you'll have your answer. Hey, look, we're in good ol' Palm Beach County."

Sitting back again, Brandy chuckled. "Only about six hundred miles to go."

"Should we play a game?"

She shook her head. "I'd like to just sit quiet for a little while, if that's okay with you."

"Hey, no complaints from me," I said, lifting my fingers from the wheel and laughing. But really that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to keep talking to her. Wanted her to keep opening up to me. Dammit. I shook my head and tried to ignore my feelings. This trip was meant to be fun, yes, but I had to remember it was all fake. None of this was real. But then why did it feel so damn real?

"But I reserve the right to talk later or insist on games. Okay?" She reached for the radio dial again and turned it on, changing the station to something that sounded a bit more like ‘90s pop music.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," I said smirking at her choice of music. It was good to see Brandy was slowly finding her way back to acting more like herself again.

If not, I might start to worry. What would I do with all the silence?

Oh, who was I kidding, I kind of loved the way Brandy was so full of chatter.

* * *

I looked around the gas station and was surprised to see how many cars and trucks were traveling at the early hour. We were just outside of Destin, getting ready to hop onto SR-20 and it was my turn to get behind the wheel again. Brandy had been driving for the past two hours, insisting I let her drive for a while, but now I wanted to make sure she got some time to rest her eyes before arriving.

I opened my door and slid in. Brandy extended a hand holding a cup of coffee to me. "I got this inside when you were filling up. I figured you could use it. I noticed how you seem to never be far from a cup of coffee, so I thought you'd like it."

I shouldn't have been surprised by her gesture, the thoughtfulness there, and yet I was. No one had ever picked up on anything with me, not enough to actually do something entirely for me. It was simply a cup of coffee, but to me it meant so much more. "Thanks, I really appreciate this," I said.

She smiled and I couldn't resist smiling back. There was that light again. I was glad to see it was back. "I got myself a tea, figured I didn't need to get all wired just yet," she said pulling her paper cup from between her legs.

"Good idea. So do you want to stop somewhere for breakfast?" I wondered aloud as I started the car and pulled back onto the road. I wanted to make sure she was good and if that meant breakfast, then I'd stop somewhere.

She looked out the window and laid her head back. "Let's see when we get there. It might not make sense. You might want to just go straight on so we can shower, unpack and get a nap in. My vote, let's see."

"Okay," I agreed easily enough. "Are you usually a breakfast eater?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

Her eyes were closed, but she smiled. "I'm an anytime eater as long as I don't have to cook it. You?"

"I like to start my day with breakfast, yes. Not big on lunch, but breakfast and dinner, yes."

She laughed. "You military men are all the same, aren't you? You all live by a schedule, don't you?"

Feigning insult, I turned and rested my hand on my chest. "You know, you shouldn't judge. People may just surprise you if you let them."

"So I'm wrong?" she asked.

Then I laughed. "Oh, no, you're right, but I'm just saying, you shouldn't judge. But for me, no, I definitely like a schedule. I like the predictability that comes with knowing what's next. It's not necessarily a military thing, though, I've always been that way. Well, most of my life anyway." Maybe before Susan died, no, but after her death I was definitely like that. She made me more spontaneous, but after she was gone, I realized how little I liked not knowing what to expect. Had I known there was something wrong with her, maybe it would've ended differently. I didn't like that feeling.

"Do you remember that night at the bar? When we first met," she explained as if I didn't already know exactly what she was talking about and took a sip of her tea, the cup clutched between her hands as if it was a security blanket.

I nodded. "I do. It was a long time ago," I reminded her, hoping to shut down wherever this was going.

She made a soft humming sound. "Not that long ago. Do you ever think about it?" she asked, giving voice to the one question I wish she hadn't.

"Not really," I lied. What was I supposed to say? Yes, especially more recently since you came back into my life. It made me feel like a creep and I didn't like that feeling.

Brandy turned to face out her window. "Oh."

"We should talk about something else," I suggested, hoping we'd move on to safer topics.

Her gaze still fixed on her window, she simply said, "I just think it's funny how it goes. One day you meet someone, the next they're gone and suddenly when you didn't know you needed them, they're back in your life. Life, it's a funny thing. I wonder if it's fate or destiny or some sort of divine plan, but either way it feels like there's some higher power that knows what we need before we do."

I sighed. "Don't make this out to be something it's not, Brandy. It's safer if we just remember this is all an act."

"Why does it have to be? Nate's out of the picture for real this time."

"Because it is an act. This isn't real. I'm doing you a favor. I'm no one to love. Not really and not in the long run. Besides, what happened to your plan? Number one—no men, remember?"

She nodded. "Right. But that note," she pushed. "That note has haunted me for twenty-two long months. Why'd you leave it?"

I shrugged, not even sure I remembered what it said. "I don't know."

"I'm no good for you, that's what it said," she said as if was emblazoned in her memory. "Why'd you say that, Wyatt? I've wanted to know for so long, I figure this is my chance to ask."

I raked a hand through my hair. "I should pay attention to the road. Here, can you check the directions?"

"You have your navigation on," she said, sighing as if disappointed again, but this time because of me. She closed her eyes, put her cup down in the console and laid her hands in her lap, looking out the window again.

I thought about her question. I went back in my memory to that night. The night we met, the night we spent together, kissing, laughing, talking. It was such an emotional time for me with Damon's injury and memories of Susan haunting me. I sucked up her sunshine as if she was the very air I needed to keep breathing. But then morning came and I had to leave, I couldn't delude myself or her, pretending it could be more than it was. I was too broken, especially then, so I took the coward's way out and left while she was still sleeping. I remembered writing the note now and what I said. It was true then and it was still true now. Sure, I wasn't as emotionally wrecked, but I was still no good for her. For Brandy and her light especially, I'd be like the darkness and I couldn't imagine dimming her. It was something I needed to remember no matter how good it felt to be with her.