Chapter 6

chapter 6

. . .

I t’s been a couple of days, and I haven’t had a chance to tell Liam. It’s not for a lack of trying. He hasn’t called me back and I don’t want to be a pain in the ass even though I need to be a pain in the ass.

After dinner, I head back to my dorm with a group of girls from our floor. We chat about nothing and yet, it’s everything. I’m going to miss being a part of the school, being on campus, and making friends. I think once I tell Liam, he’ll have me move to Texas. It’s the only thing that will truly work. I don’t want to be here without him, and I know he’ll want to be with me while I’m carrying his child.

When I get upstairs and in my room, I stand in front of the mirror Katelyn and I bought and lift up my shirt. It’s one of Liam’s shirts that I’ve stolen over the years. I figure I should start wearing it now because it’s so big, that by the time I start showing no one will notice my sudden change to baggy clothes. And with Mason on campus, I can take his shirts next.

I stand there, with my shirt lifted, looking at my flat stomach. It’s weird to think there’s a baby growing in there. One created out of love. I rest my hand against my skin and smile. “Mommy and daddy love you so much,” I say as I stare at myself. I know Liam’s going to love this baby as much as I do.

Since the second test, when no one is around I refer to myself as mommy. It’s the only way I can wrap my head around what Liam and I have done. I want this baby and I know Liam will as well once I tell him. We’re going to be a family, like we’ve talked about. It’s just happening a bit sooner.

“Mommy,” I say again to the mirror, liking the sound of what my new moniker will be. I hope I have a little boy who looks just like his daddy. Although, I don’t think the world is ready for two Liam Westburys. I am though.

I hold my left hand out and imagine an engagement ring and wedding band there but refrain from saying the word wife because while I know Liam and I will get there eventually, there is nothing wrong with having a child first. Katelyn seems to think once I tell Liam we’ll run off and get married. In all honesty, I’m scared though, about leaving Beaumont for Texas. I’m not going to know anyone there and will really miss Katelyn. I can’t imagine having this baby without her near me. She’s my best friend. Actually, she’s more like a sister to me and I need her.

There’s a knock at the door and I almost yell that Katelyn isn’t here because it’s usually Mason. I take one last look at my stomach and pull the shirt down. I’m about to yell at my roommate’s boyfriend when I open the door and find Liam . . . my Liam . . . standing there, with his arm resting against the door jamb.

Our eyes meet and I know my smile spreads from ear-to-ear because I’m so damn happy to see him and now I can tell him in person that we’re going to be parents. Even though I know it’s going to come as a shock, at least I’ll be here to hold him.

And then my smile fades and I wonder why he’s here when he should be in Texas at school.

“Liam, what are you doing here?” As soon as I ask, I want to take the question back. I don’t care what he’s doing here, he’s here , and that’s the only thing that matters.

“I needed to see you,” he says as his eyes leave mine.

“I’m glad you’re here, you must be tired.” I reach for his hand and tug it slightly to bring him into my room. I want him to come in and see how I decorated and show him how comfortable my bed is. But he doesn’t move.

“You don’t want to come in?” I can’t help it and my voice cracks. Why would he be here if he doesn’t want to come in?

He shakes his head. It’s slight, but I notice because I’m trying to read him. I’m trying to understand what’s going on. Instantly, my mind goes to a place it shouldn’t—he cheated.

“Something wrong Liam?” I ask, barely able to swallow.

“I dropped out of school,” he says it so quietly, I almost don’t hear him, but I know I do.

Loud and clear.

This man in front of me doesn’t sound like the man who shared his hopes and dreams with me, who made plans with me for our future. I’m sure there’s a reason, and he’ll tell me if I ask. I need to be supportive. I know this.

“Okay, why?”

“I… um… I can’t –”

“Can’t what? You’re scaring me, baby. Come in and we’ll talk about it. We’ll call your coach and fix this.”

Liam inhales deeply and closes his eyes. He stands tall and look everywhere but at me.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Josephine.” Liam, the man who owns my heart, who conceived a child with me, turns and walks down the hall.

Did I hear him correctly?

I step out and see him dodging people as he makes his way to the stairs. “Liam!” I yell, then yell again. “LIAM!!”

Only he doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t come back to me.

Heading back into my room, I do everything I can to fight back the tears. I pick up the phone and dial his number, but it goes straight to voicemail. I try again, and again, only to get the same results. The anguish builds and I don’t know what to do.

Mason will know.

Mason searched for Liam. He went to the Westburys, but Liam wasn’t there. He wasn’t at the water either. He was nowhere to be found.

I give Liam time.

Time to come back.

Time to figure things out.

Time to call.

When he doesn’t, I dial his number and tears start instantly when his voicemail picks up. “Liam, please call me. We need to talk.”

Only he doesn’t call back and I’m angry. So fucking angry that he got me pregnant and I’m here and he’s not. I’m hurt and broken that he won’t call me back, that he won’t show up at my door and tell me how sorry he is and that everything will be okay.

And I tell him.

“I hate you. I hate you so much for what you’ve done to me. Are you listening to me? I hope you’re happy and in a ditch somewhere. You’ve ruined my life.”

And I still wait for him to call.

He never does.

When I go to call him again, his number no longer works.

And now neither does mine because what’s the point?

My life is over.

Except it can’t be because I’m carrying a baby—one I already love.

When I went to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy, they gave me an ultrasound. I’ve seen this baby growing in me. He or she is mine, whether Liam wants to be in our lives or not.

Telling your parents you’re pregnant at eighteen is probably the hardest thing anyone can do. I expected my dad to lose his mind and storm out of the house, but he didn’t. He held me and told me how sorry he was that Liam was gone. He’ll never know what those words meant to me.

From that moment, Liam became nothing in our house.

He’s not the father of my baby, but my ex.

He’s not the man who walked out on responsibility because he didn’t know. Everyone believes if Liam knew, he would’ve stayed, or I’d be with him right now. He didn’t abandon his child. He left me .

I can raise this baby on my own. It’s important I do it. My parents suggested I move home, but it’s not what I want. I want a college degree and am determined to get mine. I can’t let this baby grow up and find out one day I didn’t finish school because I became a mom. This baby will know I chose to be their mom every day for the rest of their lives because I was in love.

In love with him.

In love with her.

Ridiculously in love with their father.

It takes every ounce of courage to knock on the Westburys’ door. I pray it’s Bianca who answers because she’s the lesser evil of the two of them, but it’s Sterling who looks down at me, even though I’m close to six feet tall.

He makes me feel like I don’t matter when I know I do.

“Is Mrs. Westbury home?”

“Bianca,” he yells, and she comes toward the door. I look at her when I pull out the ultrasound and hold it in my hand.

“I’m looking for Liam,” I tell them. “It’s important I talk to him.”

Sterling scoffs. “No one likes a stage five clinger. Move on.”

I hold out the image of the baby growing inside of me. “It’s important that Liam call me. I’m pregnant and?—”

“You listen to me to you little tramp. My son is too good for you. I told him you’d try and do this once he left for college and well, would you look at that? You went and got yourself knocked up. Get off my property and don’t come back.”

Liam always told me to never listen to anything his father says, to ignore every word Sterling spews but it’s hard. I look at Bianca and implore with my eyes and mouth to please hear me out, but she doesn’t move. She doesn’t even flinch.

Sterling steps out of the house, forcing me to step back. “Get your trashy ass back to where you belong. The best thing my son has done since he chose to follow that idiot to Texas was dump you. No go and don’t come back and don’t even think about asking for child support. That thing you carry isn’t a Westbury. It’s not welcome here, and neither are you.”

Sterling slams the door in my face and I stand there for a second, before leaving. On the bus ride back to campus, I tell myself it doesn’t matter what Sterling says. He’s a hateful man. What matters is Bianca. She should protect me from the likes of her husband, but she instead she stood there and allowed him to say those things to me and about her grandchild. Bianca knows this is Liam’s baby. So does Sterling. No one in their right mind would show up on their doorstep with this claim and put themselves through what I just did.

My hand rests on my stomach as I think about Liam. As much as I want to talk to him, I really just want to know he’s okay. My last message to him was mean and I can’t apologize because he’s changed his number. In hindsight, I should’ve told him on his voicemail he was going to be a dad.

Would he care?

Who knows.

I like to think he would. He hates his father and would never want to be like him, so yeah, I think he’d come around and be a father.

When I get back to my dorm, I crawl into bed and face the wall. Katelyn tries to force me to eat but nothing sits well in my stomach. I eat crackers, drink water and juice, but that’s about it. My doctor says the feeling of being uneasy will pass, but that’s because she has no idea the reason I feel like this is because of a broken heart. The morning sickness reminds me of the last parting gift Liam gave me. That I can deal with.

Katelyn comes in and lays next to me. “How’d it go?”

I tell her and she cries for me. I don’t have any tears left. They’ve dried up. She tells me how evil Sterling is and how I shouldn’t believe anything he says. His words are there though and he’s not wrong, his son left me and I’m pregnant. I’m every cliché you can think of and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. They know where he is and unless Bianca is willing to do something about it, my child will never know their father.

But this child will know love. I’ll move mountains to give this baby the best life possible.

Liam and his parents be damned.