Chapter 4

chapter 4

. . .

L iam’s visit was short and very sweet. The only thing left unsaid between us was when I’d take the bus to Texas to visit him. He wants more than a weekend and wants it soon, but with football, the weekends are pretty shot because he’s either got a game or he’s traveling. The only time we’d be able to spend more than a couple of days together would be when football’s over. Even during the holidays, it’ll be a day or two since there are bowl games. And with my baby at the helm, leading the Longhorns this year, they’ll definitely be in a bowl game.

My dad and I load the car with all my college stuff. There is so much, and he’s mumbling about having to carry everything. My mom snickers and says it’s good for him to get some exercise. She calls him portly. I can’t imagine Liam ever having a beer gut or being called portly.

I wanted my parents to take Katelyn, but my dad said he would’ve had to rent a truck to get all our stuff there. I never asked her how she was getting to school and assumed Mason would drive her.

When Liam was here, we didn’t talk about Mason other than alluding to how alone Liam feels at school because of what he did. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m never going to get over what Mason did. But because Katelyn’s my ride or die, I’m going to fake it when things come to Mason. I can’t stand the divide, and he’s going to be around a lot.

The drive to campus takes about forty-five minutes. School is technically out of town, but they use the Beaumont name. I don’t get it, nor does it truly matter. It’s enough of a drive that my parents won’t randomly show up at my dorm room.

“What’s all this?” Dad asks when he pulls up to the building where I’m going to live.

“The football team, upperclassmen, and a couple other clubs help move the freshmen into the dorms today and tomorrow.”

“And you didn’t say anything? Here I am working myself up to climb three flights of stairs with all your stuff. Geesh, kid.”

I shrug, knowing he can’t see me unless he looks over his shoulder and he’s too busy trying not to hit the kids running in front of his car. “Escaped my mind.” It hadn’t. I just thought it was funny how my mom mocked him about his bitching.

As soon as I get out of the backseat, Mason’s there pulling me into his arms. I let him even though I secretly want to knee him in the balls.

“Damn, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until just now,” he says.

He’d miss me more if he’d gone to Texas with Liam.

“Ugh, put me down, you big lug.” He does, but doesn’t let go of me despite me trying to wiggle away. The last thing I want is for Liam to show up on campus one day and someone say, “Uh, I saw your chick with some dude,” in that annoying Beavis voice.

“How’s Liam?”

Did he really just ask this? How does he think Liam is?

“He’s good. Misses me, of course.” I don’t tell him he was here just and didn’t care to see anyone but me. Mason should know Liam wants nothing to do with him, at least right now. I’m not sure if Liam will ever get over what Mason did.

“That’s good. We’ll be able to catch his game on Saturday, at least the first half because they play at one, and we play at four.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll be late to yours.” I probably didn’t need to say this because it should be obvious, but I want to send the message home. If he’d done what he said he was going to, Katelyn and I would be watching Mason play on national TV. Instead, she’ll be sitting in the stands, likely with Mason’s parents, until I get there.

Mason introduces me to his roommate Phil Bailey, and I instantly hate him. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all but no. Liam should be the only roommate for Mason, aside from Katelyn. Mason and Liam have been stuck to each other’s sides forever, and seeing Mason rooming with someone else doesn’t feel right. It makes my heart ache for Liam and all he’s going through while Mason is making new friends without a care in the world. Still, Phil’s an extra pair of arms and helps my dad and Mason carry my shit to my room. But then Phil waits for me.

“So, Mason dates your best friend?”

“Yeah, Katelyn. They’ve been together for a long time.” I leave my room and head toward the stairs. Katelyn and I are on the third floor and it’s blazing hot in our room. We’re going to need a box fan or something in the window at night to cool the place down. You’d think for what we have to spend on tuition the school would have air conditioning in our rooms. But no. We don’t even have a personal phone line and need to pay for it ourselves.

With that thought, I run back to my room and dig through my stuff until I find the new phone I bought. After taking it out of the contraption some marketing genius calls packaging, I plug it in and sigh at the sound of a dial tone. Right away, I dial Liam’s number. My call goes to voicemail and I’m okay with that.

“Hi, babe. Calling you from my new phone in my dorm room. I love you!” I hang up and see Phil standing in my doorway.

Awkward .

“Boyfriend?”

I nod. “He’s at the University of Texas playing football.” I don’t add that Mason should be there as well. It’s like pouring salt into the large gaping wound in my heart, and if I’m going to be nice to Mason, I might as well start now.

“Ah,” Phil says as his head tilts back slightly.

What does that even mean? Ah. Ah, what?

This makes me wonder why Mason hasn’t mentioned Liam. They were best friends until Mason screwed it all up. I get that guys don’t gossip like us women, but they do talk. Why isn’t Mason talking about Liam? This bothers me, a lot.

I can’t shake Phil, who follows me down the three flights of stairs. If he’s supposed to help people move in, he’s not doing a very good job. As soon as I get outside, my stomach turns. Katelyn and Mason are playing kissy face.

“Get a room,” I yell loudly. Phil groans and then hides it with a laugh.

Okay, maybe this guy is okay if he’s on the hate-Mason-and-Katelyn-PDA-train with me.

“That must be Katelyn.”

“Yeah. Not only is she my BFFL and roommate.”

“I’ve heard of BFF, but what’s the L for?” Phil asks.

“Life,” I say, shrugging.

“Do you really think you’ll be best friends forever?” he asks.

His question gives me pause. I glance over at her with Mason, and a pang of jealousy washes over me. She gets to be with her man because he made a sacrifice for her. I’m not saying Mason loves her more than Liam loves me, but right now it feels that way. I know Liam sacrificed a lot as well, especially when he went to the school he chose. And I also know, Liam’s where he’s at because he wants to provide a future for us.

Phil’s question lingers. I look at him and nod. “She’ll be my best friend until the day I die.”

Phil picks up another stack of my things. I look around for my parents and find my dad and mom chatting with Katelyn’s dad. Her mother is nowhere to be seen, which doesn’t surprise me, although I’m sure she came because, God forbid, Mr. Cohen spends any time alone with his daughter, lest he spend money on his kid without her approval. I honestly don’t know how Katelyn survived in that household.

Phil and I take the last load of my stuff to the room. He sets the boxes down, looks around, and sighs. “Well, I guess I should get going. It was nice meeting you, Josie.”

“You, too. Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome. Say, would you be interested in getting coffee sometime?”

“No,” I say pointedly. “I have a boyfriend and he wouldn’t like it. I don’t care that he’s not here, doing so would be disrespectful to him.”

What is wrong with people? This guy knows I have a boyfriend!

Phil nodded. “Right. Sorry.” He sighed again. “I guess I’ll see you around since Mason’s dating your best friend and all.”

I say nothing as he leaves my room. If I have my way about any of this, I’ll never have to see him again. But I know I can’t start my college life being a recluse. Katelyn and I vowed to make the next four years the best four years. Plus, Liam wouldn’t want that. He’d want me to spread my wings and live. Just like he’s going to do.

After waiting a few minutes, I head back downstairs to say goodbye to my parents. At least that’s my intent until I see Phil walking over to Mason and Katelyn. I lag behind, trying not to show this guy I’m with him, but also going where he’s going. Guys make life so complicated.

Mason introduces Katelyn to Phil, and they start chatting like they’re lost long friends who haven’t seen each other since their high school reunion. I shift from foot to foot urging Katelyn to speed things up and when she doesn’t, I bail to find my parents.

Mom, Dad and I have a giant group hug. They promise to call, and I promise to answer, and mom says she’ll make plans with Katelyn and I in a month to have a girls’ day, which I appreciate. As soon as they’re gone, I had to the room and start unpacking.

Katelyn and Mason come into the room soon after. She has nothing in her hands while Mason’s arms are stacked to his line of sight.

“Where am I putting this stuff?” Mason asks as the veins in his arms begin to pop out.

“On the floor is fine. Thanks, babe,” Katelyn says.

Barf.

“I saw you and Phill chatting,” Mason says. “He’s nice, right?”

“Sure. Right up until he asked me for coffee after he found out about Liam.”

“Josie, I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that,” Mason says. “He’s not from around here and is just trying to make friends.”

“How come you didn’t tell him about Liam?” I ask him.

Mason looks from me to Katelyn, and then runs his hand over the top of his head. “I’m not sure what to say, Josie.”

Mason has a point, but I don’t want him to have one. What I want is for everything to go back to the way it was supposed to be. Right now, Katelyn and I should be setting up our room, gushing over our guys in their University of Texas uniforms. I look at my desk, where I put my new phone and then go to my bag where I know Liam’s picture is. I set it next to my phone as my heart twists from missing him.

“Look, I gotta run. I’ll be back and we’ll go to orientation.” Mason kisses Katelyn and waves to me.

Katelyn and I unpack our things. We take turns helping each other hang posters, and we attach the flowers we bought to the walls and to our door, along with the message board. Every room on our floor has one and I think it’s going to be great to leave our fellow co-eds messages.

Mason returns and we start orientation. It’s mostly games geared to getting to know your classmates. I refuse to leave Katelyn’s side because I don’t want to be alone.

By dinner, the three of us head to the on-campus cafeteria to eat. I have to admit, the food is good, which surprises me. After dinner, when I’m ready to head back to our dorm, Mason tells us about a party on campus, where the football team will be.

He has to go.

Which means Katelyn wants to go.

I have a choice. It’s like I’m standing at the fork in the road. Go back to our room by myself and sit there, waiting to see if Liam calls me back, or go to the party and meet people.

Katelyn tugs my hand in the direction Mason’s walking.

“We’re in college, Josie.”

“I know.”

“Liam would want you to have fun.”

“It’s just . . . he’s all alone, Katelyn.”

She looks toward Mason, who has stopped halfway down the path. I’m not sure if he can hear us or not, but if he does, I hope it hurts him to hear the things it hurts me to say.

“How about this,” Katelyn says. “We’ll go for a little bit, and then we’ll come back to our room. If things were different for Mason and Liam, we’d be doing this regardless.” She squeezes my hand. “This was our plan, remember? We were going to go to school together and have fun. We were going to live and have an amazing college experience.”

“But—”

Katelyn steps forward, closing the gap between us. “I know Mason messed it up, and I know you’re angry with him. He gets it, but he’s trying, Josie. His dreams aren’t the same as Liam’s, and that should be respected. Mason’s sorry for what he did, and if he could change it, he would . . .” she pauses. “But he won’t change his mind. This is where he wants to be, at this school with me. With us.”

Tears fall down my cheeks. Deep down, I know Katelyn’s right. After a bit, I nod and let her drag me to the party, telling myself I’m not going to have a good time and will only stay for a little bit because I don’t want to miss Liam’s phone call.