Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

ELIJAH

Steady rain patters against the window glass, but it's drowned out by my moans. Julien's head bobs between my thighs, his incredible mouth catapulting me into endless euphoric oblivion. I lost count after the third time. We've been fucking all night. Hours upon hours of orgasms. I won't be able to walk today. Totally worth it.

The heat of his body slides up my torso, his lips kissing me sweetly as I lie there in a state of replete bliss. I can taste the both of us in his kiss. I slide a hand between us and rapidly jerk his cock. With a low, sexy moan, he comes all over my chest and collapses on top of me. We're both sweaty and covered in cum, but neither of us tries to move.

I must doze off because the next time I open my eyes, I'm lying half-draped over him.

"What time is it?"

His hand glides hypnotically up and down my spine. "Almost five."

I try to muster enough energy to get up, but my muscles refuse to work. "You heading out?"

He leaves for his morning run around this time. It doesn't matter if it's raining. Thunderstorms are the only things that will interrupt his routine.

"I'm happy right where I am."

Me, too.

Our first class today, one we have together, isn't until nine, which means we have plenty of time for a nap.

"I think you broke me."

His chest shakes when he chuckles. "Last night was incredible."

Incredible doesn't cut it.

"It was actually today, if you want to get technical."

Heat stings my ass cheek when he spanks me. I retaliate by biting his nipple and am shocked when I feel him harden. How is that possible?

He shrugs when I gaze up at him with wide eyes.

"I have no control over him when it comes to you."

Julien bursts out laughing when my dick pokes his hip. Apparently, I suffer from the same predilection. Unfortunately, I'm too sore and too exhausted to go another round. I'm also starving.

"I need sustenance." When I try to move, my skin sticks to his. We also stink of sex. "Scratch that. Shower first. Then pancakes. And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Then a nap."

When I lift up to kiss him, Julien palms my cheek, his countenance sober. "I think you should talk to someone."

Not to just anyone, but a therapist. The one I used to go to is back in Highland, which isn't very convenient.

"I want to talk to Dad first, but I'll drop by the CU student wellness center after bio and see what programs they offer."

A severe frown mars his brow. "I need to tell you something, but I'm not sure if now is the right time."

His grave tone alerts me that whatever it is isn't good.

"Tell me."

Dropping his head to the pillow, his chest expands then deflates with a deep sigh. "Beverly was here."

I sit up. So does Julien.

"My mom, Beverly?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Yesterday."

I don't understand. "She was here? Like here here?"

"Yes."

I'm surprised she even remembered that I was at CU and not at fucking Stanford.

"She wanted to talk to me."

"Why?" It comes out harsher than I intend, but what the fuck? Why does my mother, who wants nothing to do with me, want to talk to Julien?

He runs a rough hand over his face, then looks at me. "She said some bullshit about making a mistake and thought I could be her way in to get you to talk to her."

Nothing. I have absolutely no response to that.

"And did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Talk to her."

He tenses. "I met her at the coffee shop, but I was too angry to let her say much. Told her to fuck off, then left when David called."

I don't know why I start laughing. Perhaps it's because I can imagine her face when Julien went off on her. Mom is as prissy and prim as they come.

I crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless. "I love you."

His kiss-swollen lips quirk up in amusement. "Not the reaction I was expecting."

"Thank you for telling me. I'll bring it up with Dad when I speak to him."

I have no idea what she's up to, but I'm done when it comes to her. If she somehow developed a conscience, tough shit. Too little, too late.

Hopping off the bed, I pick up my discarded clothes strewn around the room. "Can I borrow some clothes?"

Julien grabs stuff from his dresser. "Graphic tee or Randy's Custom Auto?"

I point to the Randy's Custom Auto shirt. It's softer.

After a quick shower that may have involved me taking him against the tile wall—because I couldn't help myself no matter how sore I was—we get dressed and head to the kitchen. The roasted aroma of coffee draws me like a divining rod.

"Just in time," Ryder says as he transfers sausage links from the frying pan to a plate.

"Hey!" Jayson grouses when Julien steals his coffee.

"Need it more than you."

"Wonder why," Jayson quips.

Ryder snickers when Jayson pulls up a video of two rabbits having sex.

Julien pops another pod into the coffee maker. "You're such a child."

I take the barstool next to Jayson, and Ryder passes me a plate filled with scrambled eggs, sausage, and two pieces of toast. I fall upon it like a man starved.

Jayson nudges my side with his elbow. "You okay?"

"I'm good," I say with my mouth full.

"Want to meet up at the gym later?"

I do a mental calendar check. After class, I work until five. Julien has practice and won't be done until seven. Gym it is.

The musty smell of hard-earned sweat fills my nostrils as I step into the gym. Swiping my student ID card, I grab a hand towel from the sign-in desk and go in search of Jayson. The CU student rec center is a massive building of chrome, brick, and glass. The facility is state-of-the-art and has every piece of workout equipment imaginable, including climbing walls, basketball courts, and two boxing rings.

When I reach the anterior extension, the rhythmic thud of gloves hitting heavy bags plays the soundtrack to punctuated grunts of exertion. I scan the room until I find Jayson, already in the ring, his damp, dark-brown hair clinging to his forehead, gray eyes sharply focused as he throws a series of choreographed jabs.

Grabbing the tape from the station, I do a quick wrap of my hands before putting on my sparring gloves and climbing into the ring. Jayson's face splits in a grin when he notices me.

"Ready to get your ass kicked, pretty boy?"

"Ready to see you try," I reply good-humoredly.

Jayson and I have sparred a few times before, and he's always careful with his punches. Unlike Fallon. When we train, he does not go easy on me. I don't want him to. It's one of the reasons why I asked Fallon to teach me how to fight.

Climbing under the ropes, I kick off my shoes and drop my stuff on the floor, then do a quick stretch. When I'm ready, Jayson raises his gloves, signaling for me to start. The soles of our bare feet whisper against the soft felt as we circle each other. Since I haven't warmed up yet, we begin with light combo punches—jab, block, hook, dodge. The repetition of physical exertion feels really good, and within minutes, my muscles loosen up.

"We going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Jayson says between punches.

I hesitate, the embarrassment of my panic attack still raw, before replying, "Are you going to drop it if I say I don't want to?"

"Nope."

He ups the pace, his punches coming faster, forcing me to concentrate on his movements. He sneaks past my block and lands a light punch to my ribs.

"Always look for the tell. Everyone has them. I tend to drop my left shoulder when I go for a right undercut."

"That was an underhand right," I point out.

"I was merely giving an example, smartass."

Jayson snaps a quick jab that I barely manage to deflect.

"Elephant is still here."

He can be as stubborn as a brick wall when he wants to be.

"That elephant can kiss my butt." I feint a forward cross with the right before aiming a hook to his kidneys with the left, a move he blocks effortlessly.

Bouncing in place, he rolls his shoulders. "You tend to look where you're going to punch."

I do? Well, damn.

He lowers his gloves. "In all seriousness, you know you can talk to me. About anything."

Anything. If I told him what David said about Julien… or about the other thing he confessed… Jayson already doesn't trust David, and I've maintained that David and I are just friends. That there is nothing to worry about. Jayson is protective of his twin, fiercely so. If he knew David had crossed a line last night, things could get ugly.

"I know," I reply.

"Then why won't you talk to me about what happened last night? Why did I have to hear about it from Ry?"

"Julien didn't tell you?"

"He's been about as forthcoming as you."

Pulling a wrist strap with his teeth, he takes off the right glove. The left soon follows. I guess we're done. I remove my sparring gloves and stuff the tape inside them until I can get to a trashcan to toss it.

Jayson steps in front of me. "I'm worried about you, E."

Funny how not too long ago, our roles were reversed, and it was me constantly worrying about him.

A lump lodges in my throat, and I swallow it down. "I swear, I'm okay."

I will be. I'll make sure of it. I refuse to tuck tail and hide from my problems, hoping they'll go away. Avoid confrontation and take the past of least resistance are what the old me would've done. Old me. New me. I sound like Liz.

Shit. Liz.

Jayson doesn't know she and Ryder are together.

And let the guilt begin. Julien said he was giving Ryder a week to come clean with Jayson.

"Uh, what's Liz been up to? I haven't seen her since Sunday."

She had dinner with the guys at the condo the other night. Julien wanted me to come, but I had promised Ash that we'd hang out.

Jayson grabs his water bottle and leans against the corner cushion. "Fuck if I know. All I dreamed about for over a year was seeing her again. I prayed every minute of every goddamn day that she was okay and would come back to us. Now that she has… she acts like she can't stand being around me. It's fucking killing me. I don't know what to do."

I know exactly what to do, and the weight of it feels like chains wrapped around my chest, dragging me down into the depths of guilt. Jayson's words about being able to talk to him about anything gnaws at me, the truth itching to claw its way free. I can't keep Liz and Ryder's relationship a secret from him. It's a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode and destroy everything in its path. The kind of destruction that you can't recover from. My family will be torn in two, and I'll have to choose. Him or Ryder.

Jayson wipes his face dry on his T-shirt. "Once she gets her memories back, I'll get my girlfriend back."

Just say it. Spit it out. Tell him. He deserves to know.

"Jay, there's something I?—"

"Can we talk?"

Jayson and I glance over to see David standing on the outside of the ring.

He texted me a few times this morning, but I didn't reply back. Not because I want to avoid him but because I genuinely don't know what to say to him right now. Last night was… uncomfortable, to say the least.

I nod okay.

Jayson stares David down, a silent warning in his narrowed gaze.

I gather my phone, wallet, and keys where I left them and slip on my shoes. "I'm going to head on out. Julien is going to stay with me at the dorms tonight, so I'll catch up with you tomorrow."

David holds the ropes apart for me to duck under, and we walk in terse silence to the front of the building. The early evening humidity hits me as soon as we step outside. Not the most pleasant feeling when I'm already sweaty.

"I kept calling you last night."

"I wasn't in the mood to talk."

I was too busy fucking my boyfriend, but I'm not going to say that.

"You weren't in calc class."

"I was."

I left the auditorium through the back exit. He must have been waiting for me at the front.

"You've ghosted all my texts, so I stopped by your room, and Ash said you stayed at Julien's."

The way he says Julien's name has me stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and pivoting around.

"Why are you doing this?"

I don't get why now. When he first told me he had feelings for me last year, I made it clear they would never be reciprocated because I loved Julien.

Frustration flashes behind David's caramel eyes, and his voice drops to a very low register. "I care about you."

I take David's forearm and pull him off the walkway and into the grass, so that we're not blocking foot traffic. Somehow sensing the drama about to unfold, a few nosy people are already looking our way—attention I'd like to avoid, if possible.

"I care about you, too. As a friend . Please don't do this."

"Do what?" he snaps.

I feel my heart begin to pound like it did last night. Breathe. Just breathe. You're okay.

"Ruin our friendship."

Like a switch being flipped, he morphs from frustration to desperation. "Give me a chance to show you how good we could be together."

No. It's a simple, two-letter word. How many times do I have to keep saying it?

"I can't."

David doesn't relent. "I see how you look at me. You're attracted to me. Don't deny it."

David is gorgeous. And yes, I've checked him out many times, but that doesn't mean I want to break up with Julien to be with him instead.

"See?" he says, as if my silence proves his point.

"Don't put words in my mouth."

Spinning around, he accordions his fingers and braces his hands on the back of his neck before turning back toward me. "It's been a year, and my feelings haven't changed. I want more, Elijah. I want you. I'm in love with you."

Hearing him say it out loud punches a hole through my chest.

"But I'm not in love with you." I don't know how much clearer I can be.

"You could be," he argues, continuing to be obdurate and not listen to a word I'm saying.

It's as if he's determined not to hear me.

Feeling like I have no other recourse, I throw his past up in his face. "I can't be a replacement for Daimon."

Daimon's suicide messed David up, and he's been struggling with the aftermath of that loss since high school. David even mentioned how much I remind him of his ex-boyfriend.

David's face contorts, and before I can react, he grabs me, pulling me closer, not caring that he's causing a scene that's garnering even more interested attention.

"Don't marry him. Please give us a chance, blondie. That's all I'm asking."

"David, stop." I try to pull away, but his grip tightens.

I expect the panic to come like it did last night and am surprised when it doesn't.

"Get your fucking hands off him before I remove them myself."

Oh shit. Not good. So not good.

Fallon appears out of nowhere. David has no other choice but to release me when he forces himself between us.

"If you ever put your hands on Elijah again, you'll regret it."

David is physically more muscular than Fallon, but in a fight, David would lose, and he knows it. Fallon's reputation is what it is for a reason. You fuck with him or piss him off, and bad things happen to you.

"We were just talking."

"And the conversation is over. Let's go," Fallon says to me, his tone leaving no room for argument as he drags me away.