Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

ELIJAH

"Son."

I must have zoned out, and I blink back to reality only to notice we're standing in my dorm's parking lot next to Dad's truck.

"You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

After dinner, Julien reluctantly went back to the condo, Ash went to meet up with Mei, and Fallon left to do… whatever the hell Fallon does. Wanting more time with Dad before he headed home, we decided to go for a nighttime walk around campus. We weren't the only ones. A ton of people were out strolling the main quad and enjoying the last night of summer freedom.

"Sorry," I reply. My thoughts have been preoccupied with Julien and the big question I've been building the courage to ask Dad. "What were we talking about?"

"Elizabeth."

Not the most fun topic of conversation, but I wanted to fill him in on everything without Julien around.

"The lead detective is going to want to talk to her," he continues, then narrows his sheriff's eyes at me. Not "Dad" eyes, but the interrogation look he gets when he's in "cop" mode. "What's going on with you? You were quiet all through dinner."

I shrug. "Just got some stuff on my mind."

"Are you upset about your mother?"

"What? No," I swiftly reply, needing to knock that worry away as quickly as possible.

I'm bummed that I didn't get to see April today, but I honestly don't give a shit about my mother or what she does. Not anymore.

"It's just that…" I pop the tailgate and hop up to sit on the bed, listlessly dangling my legs over the side as I prop back on my hands—which are sweaty. Not humidity sweat but nervous, flop sweat. Still gross. Sitting up, I wipe them dry on my shorts, then clasp them together on my lap. "Can I, uh… can I talk to you about something?"

Dad comes around and plants himself in front of me. The colored light from a nearby police call box makes the right side of his face blue. He looks like William Wallace in that battle scene from Braveheart .

Dad tenderly cups my cheek in his burly palm, and my head unconsciously tilts, seeking the paternal warmth of his hand. In a lot of ways, and mostly because of his profession, he's a gruff man who doesn't show a lot of emotion. But not with me. Dad wears his love for me openly and isn't afraid to show it to anyone. He's never once looked at or treated me differently because I was his "gay son." I'm just his son. Period.

"Talk to me, Elijah. No matter what it is, you can tell me."

I know I can. Doesn't stop the flurry of anxiety from taking root.

"I want your blessing."

His hand drops from my cheek to my shoulder. "Alright. For what exactly?"

"To ask Julien to marry me."

I anxiously wait for his response as my heartbeat thunders off every second with loud boom-boom-booms . Dad is one of a handful of people I trust implicitly and whose opinion matters. If he says no, it's going to break my fucking heart. I've never gone against his wishes, not once in all my life, but I will. I know what I want. It's always been Julien.

He scratches his short beard, and a smile plays across his lips. "Aren't you supposed to ask the father of the groom that question?"

Am I? I'm winging it here. I have no idea how this shit works, or what I'm supposed to do or not do, or what protocol to follow other than the one my heart dictates.

The back of the truck bounces when he sits down beside me. One thick muscled arm curves around my shoulders, and I lean into him, resting my head against the apple of his shoulder. Dad's familiar cologne is another comfort. When I was younger and would come home from school with bruises and black eyes that Marshall gave me, the one thing I remember most is how Dad's shirts smelled like vanilla and citrus when he would hold me as I cried.

He rubs a hand up and down my arm as we sit in silence and listen to the muffled noises that carry across the parking lot from the dorms.

"You're only nineteen."

Nineteen going on twenty actually.

"I love him. He's it for me," I reply.

Dad angles his head, and I can feel his eyes boring into me again. "How can you be sure, Elijah? Not to sound like an asshole, but I thought the same thing about your mother. She was the love of my life, but as it turned out, I wasn't hers. You and Julien have so much growing to do. People change a lot during their twenties. What you want now may not be what you want in five or ten years."

My knee-jerk reaction is to disagree and say that would never happen. But he's right. I have changed a lot over the last five years. Julien, more so. But what has never changed was the way we loved each other. It only grew more profound and everlasting.

"What about Pamela?" I ask.

He hasn't said it outright, but I know he loves her. Worships the ground she walks on. He's happier than I've ever seen him. Their ten-year age difference isn't even a consideration. And it's not one-sided. Pamela is crazy about Dad. Absolute adoration and love, complete with hearts in her eyes every time she looks at him.

"Pam is…" His sigh is a little dreamy, and it makes me smile. "Pam is… everything . If I didn't see a future with her, I wouldn't have asked her to live with us."

And that right there is why my father is the most amazing person in the world. Not live with me but live with us . He puts me first and includes me in every decision. Most of my friends look at their parents and are determined to become the exact opposite. My mother lies within that spectrum. I will never be like her or treat my kids the way she treated me. But Dad? I only pray that I turn out to be half the man he is.

"Julien wants us to move in together."

"Hate to break it to you, but you've been living together for months."

I snort-laugh at his dry observation. "I told him that I wanted to wait. I'm not ready to give up all this yet," I say as I sweep an arm out, gesturing at the dorms.

Dad affectionately bumps my shoulder. "Then why rush into marriage?"

I bump him right back. "Being engaged doesn't mean we'll be hitting the red eye to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding. There's no rushing involved. Some people are engaged for years before they make it down the aisle."

His stubble pulls at my hair when he nods. "That's true." Shifting on the tailgate, he captures my face between his hands, his expression soft, yet serious. "I know you don't go into things without overthinking them to death. I trust you, and I will support you a hundred percent in whatever you do. I like Julien and can think of no better man who I would be proud to call my son-in-law. My only wish is for you to be happy… and for you to be sure."

A million times yes to both.

"I am."

"Hey!" Ash exclaims.

I startle like a cat getting doused with a water hose.

"Jesus! Don't do that. I thought you were with Mei."

"Just got back. Saw you and your dad in the parking lot. It looked intense. Everything okay?"

Kicking off my shoes in the direction of my side of the room, I flop supine onto his bed.

"We were just talking. Ready for tomorrow?"

Picking up my hand, he tsks at the state of my nails. "Been ready. You need a manicure."

It's a thing with him.

"No polish. The pool water will eat it off in a day."

I'm excited to get back to my training sessions this week. I've started thinking long-term, like transitioning what I do at the natatorium and making it a career. Julien is all for it. We even bounced around a few ideas and made a rough draft of a ten-year plan that would culminate with us running our own sports medicine clinic geared toward athletes.

"You running with Julien in the morning?"

After an exhaustingly long day, I groan at the thought of waking up at four-thirty.

Dragging weary hands over my face, I reply, "Don't remind me."

Ash hops off the bed, a ball of boundless energy that I'm clearly lacking, and rummages around his unpacked suitcase. With a flourish, he holds up what I think are two skirts. And they're pale pink.

"Got these for us to wear for CU Pride Week." He tosses me one and slips the other over his shorts. Like a model walking the catwalk, he sashays around the room. "Mei said I looked like Oscar Isaac. See if yours fits. I think I got your size right."

Ash is completely hetero, but he was raised by two mothers—one of his moms, Maya, he lost to cancer almost two years ago. One thing I admire about him is that he follows his own path and doesn't let antiquated societal beliefs of the vocal minority stop him from doing whatever the hell he wants.

"I can think a guy is attractive without wanting to sleep with him. I grew up playing with both dolls and Hot Wheels. I sometimes wear nail polish. Doesn't make me less of a ‘man.'" His fingers curled into sarcastic air quotes. "Old mindsets and assholes who love slapping labels to bullshit stereotypes need to get over themselves. People are who they are. Fuck labels. I define who I am. Not them."

Putting on the skirt he got me, I walk over to the full-length mirror that's tacked onto the back of the closet door and am surprised by how good it looks.

Ash whistles his approval. "You've got a great ass. Like Chris Evans, Captain America, round booty ass. Julien sees you in this, you'll be bent over the nearest?—"

I spin around and slap a hand over his mouth. Another thing about Ash. He tends to say whatever thought pops into his head. Zero regrets. He's the male version of Pixie.

There's an electronic shutter click.

I hope he didn't do what I think he just did, but his maniacal grin worthy of the Joker says otherwise.

"Did you just take a picture?"

His thumb taps out Morse code. "Just sent it to Jessi-Bae… and Julien. You're welcome," he says when my phone goes off a second later.

Julien's gorgeous face and name provide the backdrop to "Halo" when my phone lights up.

I point a glaring finger at Ash before I answer. "So going to get you back. Hey, sexy."

Julien's sleepy voice comes over the speaker. "The bed feels empty without you."

Tonight will be the first night in months that I don't fall asleep in his arms.

"I miss you, too."

Ash waves to get my attention and thumbs at the door. Going to pop over and say hi to Ethan and Pax , he quietly states. I give him a lift of the chin in acknowledgment.

"You look fuck hot in that skirt."

I grab the pillow that smells like Julien to lay my head on and turn onto my side.

"Gift from Ash."

With a husky voice that has me hard in an instant, Julien says, "Want to fuck that gorgeous ass with you wearing only that skirt."

"I think that can be arranged, Mr. Jameson."

" Elijah. " The gruff way he says my name sends a flurry of tingles across my entire body. "Going to have to go jerk off now with thoughts of all the inappropriately filthy things I'm going to do to you in that skirt."

"Video me," I tell him and hang up.

When his name flashes for a video call, I answer immediately. His room is dark, but he's holding the phone close to his face.

"Ash just left. No one's here. Show me how much you want me."

The camera pans down the defined muscles of his chest to his six pack, and then lower, following the path of dark hair that arrows to his groin. I literally salivate as I watch his hand move up and down his shaft. Julien pleasuring himself is one of the most erotic things I've ever seen.

Wishing I was there, I tell him, "Slide your thumb up the underside of your cock. Imagine it's my tongue licking you. Slowly."

"Fuck, baby," he moans, doing exactly what I say.

"Tease the tip in small circles. Just like that," I instruct as he smears precum over the head. "I'd take you to the back of my throat until I gagged. Can you feel my throat close around you?"

His cock thickens, filling his hand as he pumps his shaft with vigorous pulls. "Yes. It feels so good."

"I'd wrap my hand around the base and suck you, just like your hand is doing. Over and over until you came down my throat. I'd lap up every drop as I finger fucked your ass until you screamed my?—"

The hand holding his phone shakes as his orgasm hits fast.

" Elijah! " Julien cries.

I watch, mesmerized, as thick ropes of his cum come spurting out. Fuck it.

Dropping the phone onto the bed, I slide my hand underneath the dual waistbands of the skirt and my shorts. I'm so turned on, it takes mere seconds before I'm coming all over myself.

"Let me see," Julien whispers.

I tip the phone up and show him my wet fingers, then smear it over my mouth and blow him a kiss.

"Dirty boy." He touches the screen. "I love you, Elijah."

"Love you more."

On legs made of jelly, I stand up and take the phone with me as I head to the bathroom.

"I need to get cleaned up before Ash gets back. Keep me company?"

"I can do better than that. Keep the water warm. I'm coming over."