31. Ginevra

CHAPTER 31

Ginevra

B lake seems to have let everything go concerning the dinner with Oliver. For the last two weeks he hasn’t brought it up at all. Which is a relief because I can’t tell him about my past with Oliver, it’s too embarrassing, too shameful.

Blake treats me like a princess, like I’m precious to him, and I don’t want that to change. I don’t want him to see how broken I am, or know about the ways I’ve been used. He’d probably be disgusted. I can’t risk that, it would break my heart.

Sometimes I even wonder if I got what happened with Oliver all wrong in my mind, like what if the way I remember it isn’t really what happened? What if I did give consent and just don’t recall that detail?

I push the intrusive thought from my head. I’m not in Paris the week before my wedding to dwell on my ex-boyfriend. I’m here to shop before we head to London for the ceremony in two days. This is my bachelorette party.

We walk along the street, ducking into one boutique after another. Our mostly invisible security team surrounds us. Sophia and Ravenna stroll ahead, they’ve been practically inseparable this whole trip and it’s good to see them so close. Arianna’s constantly typing on her phone, working while on vacation. My cousin Elena, Ravenna’s twin sister, lingers at my side, her gaze darting around nervously.

I reach for her arm. “Are you okay? You seem…anxious.”

“I’m fine.” She licks her lips, her gaze finding mine. “I haven’t been out of the house in months and being here is a little overwhelming. So many people and noises.”

“We’re well protected. If it’s too much, you can always return to the hotel. You’re not obligated to spend every minute out with us.” I offer her a reassuring smile to cover up my worry.

No one knows what exactly happened to Elena three years ago, but ever since that trauma she’s been living with relatives in Italy. Apparently as a recluse.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I probably should get out more.”

“Maybe I can come visit you sometime and we can live it up all over Italy.”

“I’d like that.”

“Really?”

Elena shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know, but I’d love your company. Right now I feel like I’m not really living. Each day blends into the next.” She runs her fingers over a rack of silk scarves. “If I keep going like this, one day I’ll wake up and find that my entire life has passed me by, and that scares me.”

God, I didn’t realize how bad she’s gotten. Is no one taking care of her, checking in on her?

I glance at my sisters and Ravenna who are all happily married and living their own lives. Maybe they don’t have time to see what’s really going on with Elena. She must be so lonely.

I face her and say, “After my wedding and honeymoon, I’ll come stay with you for a while, okay? We’re not going to let your life pass you by. Promise.”

A rare smile appears on her lips. “Okay.”

“Now let’s go annoy Arianna, she’s been glued to her phone all day.”

Elena shakes her head, but follows me as I steal my sister’s phone right out of her hands.

“Hey!” Arianna protests, coming after me. “Gin, give it back this instant!”

I toss it to Elena, who catches it, but quickly hands it over to a flustered Arianna. I don’t know why messing with her never grows old, but it doesn’t.

“You’re a menace to society,” she mutters, and I laugh.

“But you love me anyway, admit it.”

She rolls her eyes, resuming to work on her phone. “I’ll never admit that.”

“Please?” I give her my best puppy dog eyes and she cracks.

“Fine. I love you, but you’re still a menace.”

Sophia rounds a display and finds us. “Are you two bickering again?”

“No,” Arianna and I say in unison to our older sister, then bust out laughing.

Our sibling dynamics are so ingrained from spending our entire lives together, that it’s an odd realization that they’re actually my half-sisters. And my cousins… I’m actually not blood related to them at all because they’re Papa’s brother’s children. But I don’t really care. Even if they aren’t my blood, I choose them as my family.

W hy am I so nervous? It’s the big day. I’m wearing a divine Skye Adair wedding gown from her newest collection, and as far as I can tell everything is going perfectly—at least that’s what Arianna’s been telling me all morning. But my nerves are frayed. I’m having the wedding jitters for a marriage that will ultimately be fake. All of a sudden this seems like a very bad idea.

I mean, what are we doing with our lives? Fake or not, we’ll be legally bound for a year and that seems like the kind of thing that stays with a person for the rest of their life. One day soon, I’ll be an ex -wife. That doesn’t settle so well with me.

I release a long, steady breath and stare at my reflection in the full-length mirror. The dress is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, hugging my curves but still elegant and bridal. A sparkly tiara nestles in my blond updo, a few well-placed curls tickle my neck and shoulders.

This is what a princess looks like, or maybe even a queen. Certainly not a blackmailed mafia don’s daughter, who recently found out she’s not only illegitimate, but a child of rape. Which could also be why I’m nervous today. While I’ve learned the truth, Papa and I agreed to continue playing our parts for the sake of the family, to keep the peace, so he’ll be walking me down the aisle. Blake hated the idea at first, but when I told him it’s what I really want, he gave in.

I know Papa can’t wait to get rid of me. If only my marriage to Blake had longevity. It doesn’t, and I need to come to terms with that. Once we divorce, I’ll be out on my own. Even if I was welcome to return home, I wouldn’t, not now that I know the truth about my parentage.

I’m fine.

Everything will be fine.

A light knock sounds on the bridal suite door before it opens. Papa enters, his demeanor less aggravated than usual. “Are you ready?”

It’s time. I knew it would be soon, as Arianna came in a while ago and swept everyone out of my room so they could find their seats.

“I’m ready.” Willing my heartbeat to slow down, I arrange the veil over my face, then turn to the man who helped raise me.

“One more thing, Mr. Baron gave me this to give to you.” He reaches into his pocket and hands me a small gold box. Opening it, I find a hair pin decorated with a diamond bird. A magpie. I stare at it for a long moment.

What was that poem about magpies?

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a wedding…

An unexpected smile tugs at my lips. This side of Blake is the one that I adore most. He gave me two magpies for my birthday—the figurine and my car—now a third for our wedding day. So maybe… maybe this day means more to him than I realized? A fluttery sensation comes to life in my chest.

I glance up at my father. “Can you put this in my hair? I can’t see the back to position it.” I hold my breath, expecting him to refuse.

Instead, he motions me toward him and takes the pin from its box. Carefully lifting my veil, he sticks the pin securely in my hair then helps rearrange the lace.

He offers his arm and I take it. Clearing his throat he says, “You look very nice.”

My brows arch in surprise. I don’t remember the last time he gave me a compliment, even a backhanded one—which this isn’t.

“Um. Thank you.”

He bobs his head once, curt, then we’re heading to the chapel. Someone signals that we’re coming and the wedding song begins to play. My heart flutters and a chill rushes up my spine, prickling my scalp in its wake. I must actually tremble because Papa shoots me a somewhat concerned glance. Each step feels like there’s a lead weight attached to my foot.

My gaze latches onto Blake where he stands on the dais, stunningly handsome in an immaculate tuxedo. His expression gives nothing away, but I swear there’s a softness around his sapphire eyes.

That’s when it hits me. The realization that I’ve fallen for him. That’s why this wedding feels so wrong. I’m in love with the man I’m marrying when our relationship is supposed to be fake.

I thought I’d been in love before, but now I realize that’s not true. I’ve never felt this… lost, floaty, achingly emotional about another person before. I want to make him the happiest man alive.

Oh God, this is a disaster waiting to happen. I’m one year away from having my heart crushed, blasted to smithereens, all because I’ve done the one thing that I wasn’t supposed to do and fallen in love with this wicked devil who stands before me. A year married to him will only make our eventual divorce that much more devastating.

The ceremony goes by in a blur of repeating phrases and crippling doubt. Then Blake’s sweeping me into his arms and his soul-shattering kiss makes the entire world fall away. His family and mine fade from existence as his lips move against mine, his tongue seeking entrance. I open to him, reveling in the feeling of him against me.

All too soon, it’s over.

I return to reality in a shower of cheers and applause. This day is supposed to be one of celebration. If only my heart beat with joy instead of dread.

No, I can’t slip into the darkness, it’s not where I want to be. I can be optimistic about this. What if Blake changes his mind? What if he can fall in love with me too? It’s possible. Isn’t it?