Chapter 2

I was gonna killhim with my bare hands and enjoy every second of it. It was one thing to steal from me, but to take Ri’s college money? His one chance of getting out of this shithole town and actually making something of himself? And the fucker just helped himself to it? He was a dead man.

I couldn’t even figure out how he’d managed to take it. The account was only in Ri’s name. We’d learned a long time ago not to put the last name Cooks on anything important because, apparently, no one bothered to look close enough to realize that Beckett Cooks wasn’t a 50-year-old, strung-out meth head. I was fucking thrilled Riley never took the asshole’s last name. It had saved us more times than I could count.

Not this time though. Dad had to have gotten it from the bank, right? But how? I couldn’t fuckin’ figure it out. There was one debit card, and Ri still had it with him. We didn’t have checks or apps or a paper trail of any kind. The bastard had broken in way too many times already for us to be that dumb.

Yet, he still found a fuckin’ way. He always did.

Still, there was no point in going to the bank about it. Something like this had happened so many times that they now thought we were frauding them, and the chances of us getting the money back any time soon were slim. We’d have to change banks again, I guessed, but where? We’d had to change our accounts so many fuckin’ times, we were on a ton of blacklists. It was ridiculous.

“Cooks! Take five.”

Fuck. I blinked back to life and turned toward my foreman. Tim was a cool dude. He cared about us and took no crap from the higher-ups. Right now, he was lookin’ at me with his eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest.

I pushed away from my station and stalked away, knowing Tim was gonna follow me. I lost myself there for, fuck, I didn’t even know how long. Lucky I didn’t take an arm off.

As soon as we were in the quieter break room, Tim closed the door behind us. He didn’t look pissed, just concerned. Like I said, he was a good dude.

“Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?” he asked once we were in private.

I just shrugged and stalked to the watercooler. I wasn’t thirsty, but I needed to move before I destroyed something and lost the best job I’d ever had.

I didn’t wanna talk, but Tim wasn’t gonna let me leave this room until I did.

“Just my old man.” He knew enough about the situation for that to be enough of an answer.

“Is Riley okay? Do you need to get him?” See, this was why everyone here loved Tim. I couldn’t even tell you how many crappy jobs I’d gotten canned from because I had to bail and get Riley.

“Nah. He’s safe.” Riley was probably surprised I didn’t send Jay to pick him up, even after he’d said no. But that was cause I’d asked him to go to the apartment and make sure Dad wasn’t there. No doubt he had a good portion of $2000’s worth of drugs swimmin’ through his veins right about now. If he was conscious enough to walk, he’d likely show up at our place. It was his fuckin’ MO. I wasn’t gonna let Ri walk in on that on his own, so I asked Jay to check it out. He had sent me a thumbs-up, which meant all was good, and I knew he wouldn’t leave Riley alone, even if my brother would be pissed and claim I was being overprotective. Well, he wasn’t wrong. I was always gonna be overprotective of my little brother.

“Good. You know if you ever need anything, you can talk to me.”

I smiled tightly at him, since I didn’t want to lose my shit on one of the few people who actually gave a damn. But as much as I was pretty sure I could trust Tim, I was never gonna get help from anyone ever again. I’d learned that the hard way long ago, and it wasn’t a mistake I planned on repeating. Well, except Jay. I took help from him. But he was as fucked up as us.

“I appreciate it. But I’m good, Tim. I swear. I’m sorry I lost it out there.”

“We all have our shit, Beckett. I ain’t worried about that. But it was almost like you blacked out. You were completely unresponsive, just staring. It’s dangerous out there. I can’t have that happening.”

Fuck. I didn’t even realize I’d done that. How long had I zoned out?

“I’m sorry, Tim. I swear I ain’t on anything. It won’t happen again.” I couldn’t lose this job. Especially now.

Tim’s eyes narrowed. “I know you’re not. I never even considered it, Cooks, otherwise you wouldn’t even be out there. You know we can’t mess with that shit here. I’m just worried about you.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. It was gettin” long but I couldn’t be assed to get a haircut. “Well, I’m fine. I swear. I’ll be more careful.”

I wasn’t sure he believed me, but finally he nodded. “Fine. See that you do.”

“Got it.”

“And Cooks? The offer always stands. I might be your boss, but I do care. I’ll always listen.”

Yeah, no thanks. I’d heard that before.

I just nodded, but we both knew I wasn’t gonna ever take him up on that. Still, Tim left. I finished my water and followed him out. I just needed to finish this fuckin’ shift and I could get outta here and see Riley. Once I got eyes on him and saw him for myself, I’d be okay. I could think straight and come up with a plan.

The sound of pots banging loudly greeted me as soon as I entered the apartment, which made me grin. Good. Riley angry cooking’ was a good thing. I’d rather him be pissed than the alternative. I’d pick walking a mile over fuckin’ Lego bricks rather than watching my brother sit on the couch near comatose while he stared at the wall like it had all the answers any day.

Jay was on our broken, secondhand couch playin’ some video game, as he ignored the sounds coming from the kitchen were totally normal. I guessed for us, they were.

“‘Sup, man,” he said as soon as I walked in, not lookin’ up.

I’d met Jay when I was 12 on the worst day of my life. Even worse than when Mom had died. Jay had been the one who’d found me puking my guts up in the school bathroom. He never asked me what was wrong, just sat next to me on the floor of the filthy stall until I’d been steady enough to get up. Turned out his life sucked as bad as mine, and we’d been tight ever since. He was the only person outside of Riley I’d ever trust. Fuck, he knew even more than Ri did.

“How is he?” I asked as I kicked my shoes off. I didn’t get the fuckin’ point. The carpet had been threadbare and one big stain since the day we’d moved in. Why the fuck did I need to take my shoes off when I came in? But Riley insisted, so here I was.

Jay shrugged. “Pissed. But fine from what I can see.”

Another pot banged against the counter loudly. I grinned. That meant he could hear us and was annoyed we were talkin’ about him.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate you doing this.” Jay paused the game and looked at me. He was taller than me but thin as fuck. Even though he got more food now than he did as a kid, he never seemed to be able to keep on weight. His dark hair fell over one eye, which made him look like an emo kid from 2005, but somehow it worked for him.

“Come on, Becks.” Riley had been the one to start calling me Becks. I wasn’t sure why that started or how, but everyone around us just seemed to adapt to it. “You two are like my brothers. You know I’d do anything for you.”

Jay and I had a weird relationship. He was like another brother to us and we were very platonically affectionate. There’d been times that we were so affectionate with each other that other people had thought we were dating. But yeah . . . no. Jay and I together, just no. I’d date Riley before I’d ever get with Jay.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out. I gotta get to work in an hour.” Jay stood up. “Bye, kid!” he shouted in Riley’s direction.

“Go fuck yourself!” Ri hated when Jay called him a kid.

He just laughed and left the apartment, which left me to brave Riley on my own.

I sauntered into the tiny kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. The place was so small that there was barely enough room for one person, let alone both of us. Riley slammed the big ass pot he was holding onto the stove with such force, water sloshed over and onto the surface.

“Hi, butterfly,” I said easily, tryin’ to figure out how he was gonna react.

I watched silently as Riley took a deep, shuddery breath, his shoulders rising and falling before he finally turned to me.

His light-blue eyes, the color of the sky, were bloodshot and filled with unshed tears.

Riley might’ve been five years younger than I was, but he looked even younger than that. It might’ve been how he kept his dark brown hair on the longer side so that it always flopped into his face. Or it might’ve been how he never fully grew into those big blue eyes. Or maybe it was just cause he was still so fuckin’ tiny. I knew he hated it, how everyone still thought of him as a little kid who couldn’t take care of himself. Which was bullshit. He’d gone through more in 20 years than most people did in their whole fuckin’ lives. Just cause he was small didn’t mean he wasn’t strong as fuck. I knew he was capable of takin’ care of himself. I’d made damn sure of it. But it didn’t stop me from wanting to be the one to look after him.

“Beckett,” he whispered, and then I had an armful of my little brother.

“Shh, it’s okay. I gotchu.”

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed into my shoulder.

What the fuck? I pulled away from Riley enough so I could see his face. His head was down, but I was havin’ none of that. I cupped his cheeks, which forced him to meet my eyes.

“What the fuck you sorry for?”

Riley laughed even as I still held onto his cheeks, but I couldn’t see what was so fuckin’ funny.

“God, Becks. You’re so . . .” He waved his hand in an absent gesture and wiggled his face until he was out of my hold. But he didn’t step away. I was still wearing my work jumpsuit and probably smelled like shit, but Riley buried his face in my chest anyway, not bothered by it.

The lump in my throat started to ease with my baby brother so close. I could never breathe right unless he was near. I was always on fuckin’ edge, always ready to lose my shit until I had eyes on Riley. And most of the time, that wasn’t even good enough. I needed him close enough to touch, to know I could protect him.

I blinked at him, as I waited for him to explain. He knew I wasn’t gonna let this go.

“I’m so what?” I finally asked when he didn’t answer.

“I don’t know. So intense. Can’t I just be sorry?”

I tilted his head back up. “No. You got nothin’ to be sorry for. Only one who should be sorry is that piece of shit, and neither of us should hold our breath waitin’ for it.”

Riley huffed and pushed me away, and just like that my chest hurt again. He stalked back to the stove and the boiling water. I never thought someone could angrily pour a box of spaghetti into water before, but I was clearly wrong.

A small smile played on my lips. He looked fuckin’ adorable like that.

He scowled at me. “Why are you smilin’?”

“You.”

Riley just rolled his eyes at me and opened the tiny freezer, and pulled out a bag of frozen meatballs. It only made me smile harder. Spaghetti and meatballs was my favorite.

“You wanna know why I’m sorry?” He snapped minutes later.

“I did ask.”

That earned me the finger, but he kept talkin’. “I’m sorry shit keeps fallin’ apart and you feel like it’s your responsibility to always fix it. I’m sorry that we’re gonna fight now because you’re gonna be a stubborn ass and tell me I can’t take a semester off.”

I growled. Not this again. “That’s cause you can’t. I said I’ll get you that money and I will.”

How, I had no fuckin’ clue. I had ways, but they were all last resorts. I’d do it though. For Riley.

Within seconds, Riley was in my face, and shoved me against the wall. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to budge me, but he took me by surprise, the little shit.

“Fuck you, Becks! Fuck you and your fuckin’ hero complex! You don’t get to take this all on yourself.”

I grabbed his arms before he could shove me again and held them to his sides. He bucked in my hold, but unless he fought dirty, he had no chance of breaking it. This was always the test to see where Riley was mentally. If he really wanted to get away, he’d knee me in the balls and make a run for it. The fact that he just glared daggers at me spoke volumes.

We stayed like that for fuckin’ ages. Riley fought for a while but eventually, the tears started again and he sagged in my arms. I immediately dropped my hold and hugged him instead.

“I’m sorry, Becks. I’m being an asshole.”

I hated when he apologized to me. He never had to do it. But I also knew he needed reassurance now. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Riley adjusted his position so he could look at me. “Please promise you won’t do anything crazy.”

I sighed. I couldn’t really promise that. “Becks, please. I can’t lose you. I know you want me to go to college and get my degree, and I want it too. But it’s not worth you getting thrown in prison or killed over.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. What the fuck did he think I was going to do? Sure, I wasn’t totally innocent. I’d done plenty of stuff I wasn’t proud of in the past. But it wasn’t easy being 10–11 years old and trying to provide for a kid. I had to do what I had to do.

“I won’t leave you, Ri. You know that. It’s you and me forever.”

“You say that, but you never let me help. How can it be me and you if I never do anything? We’re in this together, Becks. That’s what you always say. Right?”

Fuck. How dare this fuckin’ punk use my words against me. I was gonna lose, wasn’t I?

Suddenly, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to argue with Riley. And I knew he didn’t want to either. We were supposed to be a team.

I sighed and kissed the top of his hair. He smelled like vanilla. I stayed there, just breathin’ him in until I could think clearly.

“Alright, how ‘bout this? Give me 10 days? I won’t do anything crazy or illegal. Well, too illegal anyway.” I stayed away from shit that would give me real time. Just like I said, there was no way I’d risk leaving Riley like that. “If we can’t come up with the money by then, I’ll let you put a hold on your classes and you can see if they’ll let you work full-time at the gas station or get a job somewhere else.”

Fuck, with the smile Riley rewarded me with, you’d think I’d just given him a million dollars. It twisted my gut. What the hell was our lives when that was what made him happy?

“You promise you won’t get hurt or arrested?”

“I promise.”

Ri jumped up, and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Thank you, Beckett! Fuck. Thank you! I thought for sure I was gonna have to go behind your back. Thank you for makin’ it so I don’t gotta lie to you. I don’t ever want to lie to you.”

Well, that was like a fuckin’ dagger to my heart. We needed to move. I didn’t really care how anymore, but this fuckin’ place was poison. Riley deserved so much more than this. So, so much more. I didn’t know what I was gonna do, but I would get him out of here, no matter the consequences.