Chapter 30

I threwsome ice-cold water on my face, hoping it would help. Shockingly enough, it didn’t. The circles under my eyes were so dark they looked like bruises. Hell, I’d had bruises that didn’t look as nasty. The only way I’d slept these last few weeks was with the pills Jay had gotten me, but they made me feel all fucked up the next day. I couldn’t work at the factory like that, so I only took them on my off days from there. And since I’d had work the last four days in a row, I was all kinds of fucked. Even with Riley literally on top of me, I could only sleep in fits and starts, always waking up with fuckin’ nightmares.

It was all because of the news. About a week after we’d told him everything, Wes had reached out, saying he had enough and asking if we were good if he got it in the hands of his contacts at the police department. After talking it over with Ri, we’d agreed. Wes had implied they found other kids that he’d . . . yeah. Anyway, there were others. I couldn’t deny or hope otherwise anymore, so we told him he could do his thing.

Later that night, Riley had got a text from an unknown number that had turned out to be Luca. He’d sent a link to a news report. The story had leaked, and everyone was talking about the child therapist who was accused of molesting kids.

That had been fuckin’ bad enough, having to see Mr. Chase’s face plastered everywhere. But with the exception of a few of the more conservative channels, it seemed most of them believed the victims. Also, none of our names were out there, so I could watch it sort of as an outsider. Wes had promised us mine and Riley’s names wouldn’t be revealed, and I was starting to believe him as more and more stations had picked it up without ever mentioning me.

But then, in the middle of the night, I’d gotten a news alert. One that would haunt me for the rest of my fuckin’ life.

Child Therapist Wanted on Charges of Sexual Assault of a Minor Currently at Large

Mr. Chase had fled. They couldn’t find him anywhere. Riley had tried calling Wes, but he hadn’t answered, still in South America. Later, he’d called Luca on the number that had texted us. Luca had confirmed it wasn’t them that took him out. The fucker had really bailed.

One of the kids he had hurt had come forward. He was 19 now and was getting fucking eviscerated by the media. He couldn’t go nowhere without them hounding him. The constant nightmares and ridiculous fear that Chase was gonna show up had been bad enough. I didn’t need people up my ass and in my business 24/7.

It had been nearly three weeks and they still hadn’t found him.

I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle of anxiety meds Jay had gotten me. I wondered if he was gonna quit his little side hustle now that he was with Dakota. I was pretty sure Dakota could lose his nursing license if they ever connected them. It was probably smart, but I wouldn’t lie and say I wouldn’t miss the free meds. Sure as fuck beat shelling out the money for a doctor.

After I popped a few, I shuffled into the living room where Riley was on his beat-up laptop. When he saw me, he slammed it shut a little too quickly. I narrowed my eyes at him. What the fuck was that about?

“What’re you doin’, butterfly?”

“Nothin’. Just looking up some stuff.” Okay, vague. “How’re you feelin’?”

I shrugged. “Tired, but okay.”

“What do you think about going out?”

I frowned and sat next to him on the couch. “Out where?”

He grinned at me, those blue eyes glinting with trouble. “It’s a surprise.”

I scowled at him. “I hate surprises.”Ri pushed up to his knees and leaned over and kissed me.

“You’ll like this one. I promise. When was the last time you showered? You should probably do that.”

He was still right in my face, so it was easy enough to close my fingers in his hair and flip him up and over so I was on top. Of course, in my head, he’d end up with his back on the cushions and I’d be straddling him, but the couch was too narrow so we both tumbled to the floor, knocking into the coffee table as we went. Riley’s half-drank cup of water rocked and eventually tipped, landing right on my back.

“Ahh, fuck! Why the fuck is that so cold!”

Ri was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Literal tears streamed down his face. “Oh my god! That was the biggest fuckin’ fail! That wasn’t what I meant when I said you needed to shower.”He was wheezing as he talked so it took a long ass time for his words to get out, and I was wet, cold, and grumpy.

I leaned down and bit his collarbone. Hard.

“The fuck?” he snapped, pushing at me.

“That’s what you get for laughing.”

He shoved at me again, this time half-heartedly. “I only like bitin’ during sex. This ain’t sexy.”

I lowered myself so I was right over the bite mark, where I could still make out the imprint of my teeth. “Oh, I don’t know, butterfly. This looks pretty fuckin’ sexy. I like seein’ my marks on you.” I licked along the outline, making him shiver.

His eyes glazed over and I thought maybe he’d forget all about this surprise that would force me to leave the apartment and take me right there. Instead, he took advantage of me letting my guard down and dug his nails into my neck, which forced me to get off him.

“Fucking Christ, Ri. You need to cut your nails.”

He grinned and pushed himself off the floor. “I like them like this. C’mon. You can’t distract me, baby. We’ll shower together, and then we gotta go. I don’t want to be late.

“You seriously won’t tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope,” he replied, popping the P.

There was no point arguing, not when Riley had his mind set like this. So I stood up, put the glass back on the table, and stalked to the shower as Riley followed me.

Once we were in the bathroom and naked, Ri reached up, his fingers grazed the scratches he’d made.

He kissed them then turned on the water and hopped into the shower before even waiting for it to warm up.

We stopped in front of a gray brick building with a bright pink door. A security guard in a skintight, black T-shirt leaned against the wall and looked kind of ridiculous next to the color scheme.

It felt weird being out in public like this. I sorta felt exposed. Mr. Chase had been watching us all this time. Maybe he still was. It made me want to wrap Riley up and lock him in our apartment. Though, he was watching us there too, so maybe it didn’t fuckin’ matter. I tried to shake off the violated feeling and focused on Ri and the present.

“Where are we, butterfly?”

He rolled up on the balls of his feet, thrilled with himself. He looked good. He had on fitted, faded black jeans with tears going up his thighs. His ass looked bitable in them. He had an old band T-shirt on that was a size too small, showing off a bit of skin below his belly button. His thrift store leather jacket was fake but still looked great on him. His high-top Chuck Taylors had seen better days, but it really fit this punk-rock thing he had going on.

“We’re seeing Rebel Revolutions.” He bounced on his feet again as he said it.

I raised an eyebrow, not really following. Rebel Revolutions was my favorite, but how the fuck did he get tickets for them? They weren’t big by modern pop standards, but they were classics in the alt/indie world, and even at a place like this, the tickets weren’t cheap.

“How?”

“Liam. He works at the restaurant with me, also bartends here. The band gave some tickets to the staff and he had two extra so he gave them to me.”

Holy fuck, I was overwhelmed. I’d never been to a concert before, and maybe this wouldn’t be a big deal to most people, but to me, it was huge.

“Riley, I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Say thanks, butterfly. I got everything covered. You don’t gotta worry about anything. Just have fun.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed my hands on my man. I gripped the back of his neck, and brought him close enough that we were touching. He tipped his head up to look at me, and I immediately covered his lips with mine. Fuck, he tasted sweet. Had he been eating candy before we came here? I held him tighter as, for once, Riley let me control the kiss.

When a throat cleared, I pulled away from Ri, prepared to tear the guard a new one until I saw he was laughing. “Might wanna wait till you’re inside to finish that. This neighborhood ain’t as welcoming as the club.”

Riley flushed and straightened out his jacket. “Right. Sorry. Um, here, I got tickets for us.” Riley pulled them out and handed them to the guard.

“IDs?”

I went to fish mine out of the wallet, not surprised when Ri pulled out his fake. I couldn’t wait till he was 21 so we could be done with this shit, but it was easier this way.

If the guard thought it wasn’t real, he didn’t question it and just handed everything back to us.

“Thanks, man,” I told him as I wrapped an arm around Riley’s back and headed inside.

There were people everywhere. This place was wall to wall bodies, and there was no fuckin’ way this wasn’t somekind of fire code violation. Not that anyone seemed to give a fuck. Riley slipped from my arms, but before I could freak, he grabbed my hand and started weaving us through the crowd.

I squeezed his hand tightly as I tried to relax, but it was hard with so many people slamming into me from every direction. By the time Ri got us to the bar, I was sweating and struggling to get air in.

“Don’t worry, baby. Liam got us hooked up for the upstairs area. You gotta be VIP for that shit, so you won’t be mobbed. I just need to find him first.”

I breathed a little easier. I should’ve known Ri would take care of me and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle this area.

“What can I get you?” a female bartender asked.

“Is Liam here?” Riley screamed over the DJ playing. I guessed the band wasn’t starting till later.

“Liam!” the woman screamed over her shoulder. “These two cuties are looking for you.”

I snorted. Cuties? No one had called me cute since I was five.

An adorable looking twink with bright purple hair and neon-green bootie shorts bounced up to the bar. It wasn’t what I would pick to wear, but it worked on him.

“Riley! You made it!” He leaned over the bar to hug Ri and air kiss his cheeks. Maybe my nails dug into my butterfly’s palm a little harder than I’d meant and my jaw hurt from clenching it, but I managed not to deck the guy so I took it as a win.

“Thanks for the tickets. This is my man, Beckett.”

My man. I liked that. It sounded so much better than boyfriend. Liam’s eyes sparkled as he eyed me up and down, making Riley stiffen up this time.

“I need to find me a man like that. You look like you could really toss me around, if you know what I mean.” I shifted, uncomfortable.

Riley reached over the bar, cupped Liam’s cheeks in his hand, and physically moved his head so he couldn’t look at me anymore. “Stop. He ain’t tossin’ anyone but me around.”

Liam grinned. “No worries, honey. I was just saying. Let me get you hooked up and I’ll take you upstairs.” He bent down and dug under the bar before grabbing two hot-pink wristbands.

“Drinks are on the house if you’ve got these on. There’s a bar upstairs, but it doesn’t open till right before the band starts, so let me get you one now. What’ll it be?”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t so bad. Riley ordered a whiskey sour for me and a vodka Sprite for himself. Once the drinks were made, Liam led us through the crowded club, up rickety steps, and into what they called the VIP area.

It was basically just a wide-open space. There weren’t any seats or anything fancy about it, except there were only a quarter of the people up here that were downstairs, and there was a private bar. Fuck, I could get used to this.

Riley looked around. “Thanks, Liam. This is so fuckin’ nice. I really appreciate it.”

Liam shrugged. “Tickets would’ve gone to waste otherwise. Alright. I gotta get back to work, but holler if you need me.” He looked toward me. “Nice meeting you, Beckett.”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah, thanks.”

Hips swaying, Liam left us alone.

As soon as he disappeared down the stairs, I whirled on Riley, and pushed him against the wall. He laughed but still tilted his head, so I had full access to his neck, and I buried my face into his nape. He cried out, his fingers clawing into my bicep when I began to suck.

“Fuck, Becks. What’re you doin’?”

“Markin’ my territory.”

He snorted and pushed at my shoulders until I reluctantly pulled off. “My turn.” Riley’s teeth latched into that sensitive spot between my neck and shoulder.

“Fuckin’ Christ, butterfly. What’re you, a vampire?”

He licked along the spot before finally letting go with a grin.

“Nobody else better be thinkin’ about you, in the bedroom or anywhere else. Mine.”

I palmed his ass cheeks and squeezed. I loved this side of Riley. He might’ve been a little thing, but he was fierce and it fuckin’ did something to me when he claimed me like that.

“Yours,” I promised him.

He looked up at me, suddenly a little more vulnerable than he was just minutes ago.

“Forever?”

I kissed his nose.

“Always, butterfly.”

Just then, the DJ announced that this was their last song and that Rebel Revolutions would be coming on in half an hour.

Ri and I took advantage of the extra space and danced while we sipped on our drinks. Everyone up here seemed to be doing their own thing, and I was here for it. No one was even looking at us. It was like Ri and I were in our own little bubble.

The band was amazing. So were the free drinks. I hadn’t felt a buzz like this in ages. Especially when I was drinking’ just cause and not to drown out some fuckin’ trauma. Sure, both Riley’s and my issues were right under the surface. It would take just the gentlest flick to topple this and bring them back up, but right now, I just enjoyed the buzz running through my veins with my butterfly pressed up against my front and had fun.

I loved him.

It hit me hard and all at once like a fuckin’ train. Yeah, I’d always loved Riley, and my feelings had shifted over the last little while, but I hadn’t really processed it. But right there, as Riley ground his ass over my dick like it was an accident, when we both knew it wasn’t, and sang off-key at the top of his lungs, the feelings finally fuckin’ processed.

Without warning, I spun Ri around so that he was facing me. His eyes widened and were a little hazy from the alcohol and heat in this place.

“What’s wro—” I didn’t let him finish his sentence before I backed him into the closest wall, my mouth devouring his. We were both lightheaded and gasping’ for breath by the time we finally pulled apart.

“Not that I’m complainin’, but what was that for?” he asked, as he licked his spit-soaked, swollen lips.

“I love you!” I screamed over the music.

He tilted his head, a little, confused smile on his face. “Okay . . . I knew that, baby.”

“No, I mean I love you. I knew my feelings were changin’, but everything about what you did for me tonight finally hammered it home. I’m in love with you. So fuckin’ much that it hurts.”

I would kill everyone in this place if it meant it kept that smile on Ri’s face. And when he melted into me, I nearly combusted.

“I’m in love with you, too, baby. I have been for a while,” he confessed quietly. Or as quiet as he could be in this room.

Suddenly, I had to get the fuck outta here. I needed Riley and I needed him now. I downed the rest of my drink.

“C’mon.”

“Where we goin’?” he asked, even as he finished his drink and easily followed me out.

“Somewhere without an audience.”

He hissed in a breath, Riley barnacled to my side. “Let’s fuckin’ go. Now.”