Chapter 22

22

Hank

I found Thala at the other end of the property, feeding apples to Edgar. After my talk with Levi, it took me all day to get my head on straight and calm down from Christian's visit. I stayed away from everyone, which was a feat considering the size of the cabin. But even with my mind distracted, my instinct was telling me that the information we needed to bridge the gap on our intel was not found in various databases or on the dark web. We needed boots on the ground to follow leads. Human intel that never made it to the computer that hid backroom deals. The type of deals I'd gotten familiar with while working in the underworld.

But first, I needed to apologize. She was nobody's fool. It took a lot for her to get out of her comfort zone and trust me. It wasn't going to be easy, and I wasn't sure I had enough time to grovel.

"I need to change the dressing on your wounds," I told her.

She paused feeding apples to Edgar to glance over her shoulder. "I'll manage." The mule stepped closer to her and nudged her lightly with his nose as if to comfort her. As if to tell her, I would never do what this shithead did.

I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry for what I said in there. I should have been more diplomatic."

"You should have been, but can't say I didn't bring it on myself."

My gut dropped. Her statement sent me reeling like I got punched in the face. "What?"

She finished feeding Edgar and turned to face me. "We got too close when we were supposed to be working on clearing my name. I was handling my side pretty well, but you did not. If I had known how your unresolved issues with your past were going to affect—"

"Those issues had nothing to do with us." As soon as the words came out, they sounded like I was a lying bastard. Because what happened with my parents was a reminder that after Thala had her fun with me, I would be holding on to nothing except unresolved feelings. So I reacted. And I reacted badly.

Her brow arched. "Don't they? I'm sorry about your parents' marriage and I'm not about to psychoanalyze you about how it affects the way you handle your relationships. All I know is I didn't deserve how you treated me in there after everything we've shared."

What could I say to that? She was right. "That's why I'm apologizing."

"And that's why I'm leaving tonight."

For the second time that night, her statement sent me reeling. My heart took a plunge and joined my gut somewhere in the vicinity of my feet. "What? What are you talking about?" I closed the distance between us and clasped her shoulders. "You can't leave. I haven't arranged it."

"Take your hands off me." The absolute chill in her voice made my hands drop.

Even holding her eyes was difficult because they'd frosted over and stabbed me like icy shards.

The ice princess was back.

Her chin tilted up defiantly. "I forgot who I was. I forgot who you were."

"You said you were living life."

She leaned forward. "I was living an illusion, and that illusion shattered when you showed me who you are. You are just a man." Her voice lowered. "A man who gave great orgasms and the best fuck of my life, but still…just a man."

"Don't come at me on your high horse, Princess," I gritted. "You're right. I am just a man. And guess what? I'm also human. I make mistakes. And I apologized."

Her eyes flickered, and the iciness in them lessened. The hardness in her face softened. "Yes, you are and you did, but I think what happened in there was just a reminder that we're too different and we will hurt each other beyond repair if I stay longer and continue our physical relationship." Her mouth tilted up wryly. "And I think we both agree that it would be torture if I stayed longer and we couldn't touch each other." She raised a hand to my jaw and fuck if that didn't feel like goodbye, especially with the look of regret in her eyes.

"Don't fucking say it," I rasped. "Don't you dare…fucking say it." A crippling ache in my chest threatened to send me to my knees.

"If we continue to touch each other and make love, I think it will be harder to leave. So, I'm saying goodbye now." A sheen appeared in her eyes and she looked away.

I grabbed her chin and kissed her.

She tried to push me away, but she ended up digging her fingers in my hair and dragging me back. The desperation with how we kissed each other fueled our hunger. The burning urge for a connection.

I needed to be inside her. I needed to taste her.

One last time.

The house was out of the question. I saw Declan in there on the laptop. Levi was probably in the RV.

The wooded area was our best shot.

I broke the kiss through the sudden inferno that cloaked us. "I'm not done with you, Princess."

Her eyes flared.

I swept her up in my arms and walked past Edgar. "Stay here, and you better not follow, you stubborn mule."

When we entered the woods, she mumbled, "This is crazy."

"Ever fucked in the woods?"

"No."

"You're missing out. You'll have to be on top, so I don't hurt you."

"I'm leaving, Hank. Mind-blowing sex will not make me stay."

I stared at her. "No? Then I'll be your favorite memory." Or the worst.

When we were sufficiently out of sight from human and equine eyes, I set Thala on her feet. I was hot and hungry for her, but her uncertain eyes told me she needed more convincing. I immediately clasped her cheeks and kissed her more slowly, more cajolingly, and admittedly, seduced her with my tongue. My palms skimmed her sides, cupped her perfect tits, lingered, and squeezed them.

My damned cock thickened and throbbed and longed to sink inside her.

She pulled away. "Is this a goodbye fuck?"

"You can call it whatever you want," I snarled softly, then resumed kissing her, molding our bodies together. I was hard as fuck, and I made sure she knew it. Her hand palmed my cock through my athletic shorts and I groaned into her mouth. I tore away from the kiss.

"I need to taste you." I didn't add one last time . The unspoken words were a painful thought that manifested as a twisting dagger deep inside my chest. But those unspoken words turned me feral.

Next I knew, Thala was on the ground and I was yanking the sweatpants off her. Her injury screamed at the back of my mind, but she didn't make any sound of pain and she was just as lost to this moment as I was.

In the next instant, I spread her knees apart and buried my head between her thighs. She was dripping wet, and my tongue greedily lapped up every drop. The smell of her arousal made me lose my mind, and I attacked, starved and desperate for her taste. She was moaning. She cried out, but I didn't care anymore who heard us.

Thala was mine.

Mine.

I freed my erection and sanity returned for a split second. "No condom."

"I don't care," she moaned. "Just this once, I want to feel you bare. My insides are feeling so numb, Hank, I want to feel everything, even the pain."

When I moved to lie down so she could get on top, she stopped me.

"I want to feel your weight."

"I might hurt you. Your side…"

"Lean to the left. Can you do that? Lift my right leg and—"

"I got it." I didn't need more guidance, so I drove inside her and… holy fuck . The way her pussy gripped my shaft nearly had me blowing my load.

I angled my hips, cocked her right leg, and drove into her over and over.

Hard. Fast. Relentless.

And Thala encouraged the shit out of me.

Harder.

Harder.

I gave my princess the pounding of her life. But the harder I drove into her, a relentless misery burrowed itself deeper into the crevices of my heart. There was no satisfaction in this final fuck. Only the pain and the void that would follow.

I felt her inner muscles clench over me, and my mind blanked.

I spilled into her and continued moving. My breath and hers mingled.

Until finally I stopped and stayed inside her.

I was still catching my breath when I propped up on my elbows.

My hands shook a bit when I cleared her glorious hair from her face.

Her eyes were glassy, and she was breathing as hard as I was.

"I think I made you bleed again," I said.

"I'll survive."

I didn't know what to make of that statement. That she was going to be okay after this? Because I wasn't optimistic that I would be. As expected I felt hollowed out. But instead of telling Thala how I was feeling, I resorted to my old standard technique to get through difficult emotional situations.

Deflection.

"You know who's not going to survive?"

Her brows furrowed.

"The person who arranged for you to leave."

By the time Thala and I had put our clothes to rights and headed back to the cabin, Levi and Declan were standing at the edge of the property, looking into the woods.

When Thala and I emerged from the forest, they shot me a disbelieving look.

"Seriously, B?" Declan groaned.

"And we're not going to pretend what you two were doing out there." Levi tried to keep a straight face. He was partly pissed, partly amused, but there was a side of embarrassment, too. "In fact, every woodland animal heard you and we had to keep Edgar from charging in there."

"That wouldn't have ended well," I replied, but I wasn't the least bit sorry about what I did. I couldn't say the same about Thala.

"I'll be inside," she mumbled, not even looking at my friends.

"I'll come in and dress the wound."

"I can do it."

"No. Wait for me."

"Whatever."

"Shit," Levi said. "What did you do? She's bleeding."

"She's fine," I snapped. "What I want to know is which one of you arranged her flight."

"I did," Declan said.

"And you didn't think to keep me in the loop?"

Declan crossed his arms. "You knew it was in the works. It was at the princess's discretion to have the timetable accelerated and not to tell you. And after how you treated her in there, you deserved to be kept out of the loop. Also, I didn't act alone."

I glanced at Levi. "You were in on it?"

He nodded. "And so was Garrison."

"Thanks, guys, for having my back," I said sarcastically and strode away from them.

"Fuck, B, it wasn't like that at all." Declan came after me and kept pace. "We have enough intel to let the princess go home. To move this investigation forward, we need her in Venusstea."

She was our boots on the ground and had access to the human intel.

I gripped the doorknob, my head dropping. I wasn't looking at this objectively and had become a liability. "When is she leaving?"

"Kade's plane is picking her up at the Napa County airfield zero dark thirty. And no, none of us are going. It's a packed flight. New security to take over Ramsay's group."

"Ramsay's out as the queen's security?"

"Kade's group is an interim choice. The House of Targen and the Emersons are friends."

I turned to face Declan. A lot had happened, apparently, when I was wallowing in my shit.

"You provided good intel, B," Declan assured, but it didn't sit well with me. Subconsciously, I'd been dragging my feet on the investigation probably because that would mean speeding up my time with Thala and Garrison's had enough of my stalling. "Thala, the queen, and Petros had a chat. They agreed to handle things internally."

I faced the door again. "Can you give me a few minutes with Thala?"

Declan clamped my shoulder lightly. "You got it."

Thala

It was time to go.

The last time I saw a plane, it was before it exploded. The Gulfstream 500 in front of me looked to be in top condition, but seeing Kade Spear gave me another level of assurance. A familiar face our family trusted.

It didn't mean I had no reservations, or any delayed anxiety. As much as I didn't want to ask for another favor from Hank, I requested a sedative so I could sleep through the flight.

"You ready?" he asked beside me.

I lied to Hank that my life here was an illusion. It was the most real that I'd ever felt. Even so, it could only be a memory. I gave him a small smile. "No."

"You're the one who was eager to leave."

Survival.

That was what I told him.

I was saving my heart. I'd known him for a week, but spending twenty-four/seven with him, I could see myself falling deeply in love. Not that I'd experienced deep romantic love in my lifetime to compare to my present feelings, but I wasn't in denial that it was simply lust between us. I needed distance to make sense of these feelings.

"It's time."

Silence. It stretched.

Kade, Levi, and Declan chatted in one corner but cast us furtive glances. They were giving Hank and me a chance to say goodbye. Earlier, when he came into the cabin to redress my wounds, it resulted in the most awkward after-sex glow. Even worse than the time I lost my virginity. We ended up saying nothing of consequence. Now that we were short on time, suddenly there was a mountain of words to say.

He was brooding and palpably angry because he was excluded in my pre-flight arrangements. After what we'd shared, it was cruel of me to do that, but I'd been reacting with hurt.

Trying to live a life wasn't all roses it seemed, because the reality of it included thorns.

To discuss what happened would take time we didn't have, so we spent the hours saying goodbye to Jim. We visited him in Jill's home. He thanked me again for saving his life and to keep in touch.

But by the way my smile froze, he knew it was the last time he was going to see me. So he gave me a hug and said Edgar would miss me.

That was when I broke down.

I would miss that lovable mule. Throughout this ordeal, he was the one constant who never turned on me. I rode him around the property until it was time to leave.

It was my excuse to avoid Hank because after our goodbye sex, I was feeling too raw and exposed. I kept checking myself as if I'd lost something. A limb, my heart. There was an emptiness inside me that only grew bigger and heavier the closer my departure time approached.

"Garrison and I"—Hank exhaled heavily—"will continue to feed you intel."

"Thanks."

"Kade's guys will take care of you," he said. "You know that, right? Otherwise, nothing could stop me from getting on that plane with you…"

I gave him a sad smile. "I knew you couldn't come and, no, I didn't plan it that way. And I take issue with you saying they would take care of me. They're the queen's security, not mine."

"So this is it?" he asked.

I squared my shoulders and held out a hand, wearing the armor of being a princess once more. "This is it. Thank you, Hank Bristow, for everything."

He stared at my hand for long, excruciating seconds, his expression incredulous.

I felt everyone's eyes on us.

Then he raised his gaze to mine, eyes narrowed. My breath hitched. Why was he making this difficult? I was trying to keep it together as it was. A reset.

His jaw hardened and my cheeks caught fire, thinking he was going to reject my handshake. I was about to withdraw my hand when he caught it.

"You're very welcome," he drawled, but there was a heated suggestion in his eyes.

And before I could extricate my hand from his, he yanked me to him and whispered in my ear, "I hope the memory of me with my tongue and cock in your cunt keeps you warm at night."

His crude words tingled all the way down my spine, and heat pulsed between my legs. Flashes of our desperate fucking in the woods crowded my mind.

When he drew back, he didn't let go of my hand. A smile curved his mouth. It wasn't his normal grin. It was almost mocking. I swallowed, not knowing what to say.

Not letting go of my hand, he led us to Kade. We appeared to be holding hands like we were still a couple. I should yank my hand away, but I didn't want to cause a scene.

Or so I told myself.

Maybe I wanted to pretend to be his for a few seconds longer.

"Ready?" Kade asked. There was no mistaking the gleam of amusement in his eyes.

"I need to give her a sedative for the trip," Hank said.

Kade nodded. "I understand. I'm surprised you could get on a plane so soon, Princess."

I laughed lightly, if not nervously. "Me too."

But I hesitated on the steps, courage faltering. I was suddenly cold and lightheaded and I did my best to unravel the knot of anxiety forming in my gut. I couldn't remember a time I had a panic attack, and I had no intention of crumbling now. Hank squeezed my hand and shot me a reassuring smile.

I finally moved.

We were quiet when we ascended the steps. Quiet when Hank led me down the aisle to my seat. I sat down and he crouched beside me.

"You all right?" He unzipped a pouch and extracted a syringe.

"Thank you," I said. "I thought I was about to experience my first panic attack."

A muscle in his jaw pulsed. "You can leave another time."

"I've come this far. Just shoot me up."

We locked gazes. I could feel his scrutiny.

"Stop that," I hissed.

"Princess…"

"I'm fine. Please." I let out a ragged breath. "Just knock me out."

His lips thinned, and he gave a nod so brief, I barely caught it.

"This is a special cocktail. No side effects. You should wake up with a clear head."

I gave him a tight smile.

The creases between his brows cleared. "You'll be fine, Princess."

"Will I pass out before takeoff?" I asked, and hated the anxiety that crept into my voice.

"You will."

"Don't leave me until then?" Even after our fallout, he was still the man I could allow myself to feel vulnerable with.

"Count on it."

After he shot me up with the sedative, he packed away his things and stayed with me. Hank stroked his fingers along my hairline and kept watch over me as my eyes grew heavy. I woke up briefly to a kiss on my forehead and the sound of the plane's engines starting up, then I descended into oblivion.