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Chapter 9 - Lena

I'm relieved when Jack suggests we go and find some breakfast. I'm tired, overwhelmed and I need to get out of this confined space. The last week has just been stress piled on top of stress.

When we head outside, Father is nowhere to be seen. I let out a huge breath I hadn't even realized I was holding. I expected him to be standing right outside, ready to start more trouble. Not seeing him should completely make my day, except that now I'm worried about what he's up to, and if it involves my brother.

"Let's head down to the shack," Jack says, reaching out to me. I nod and follow, but I don't take his hand. I'm still shaken by everything that happened the night before—and painfully turned on.

I pick up my skirt so I can navigate the rough ground and watch Jack walking ahead of me. The dark blue suit is perfectly tailored to his height and defines his muscular shoulders. The color enhances the contrast of his night-dark hair against his pale skin.

I stumble on a tussock of grass and swear softly, reminding myself to look where I'm going. Even though I keep my eyes fixed on the ground, my mind keeps wandering off into sensory memories from the night before, making my eyes flick up to take sneaky glances at Jack.

My body is still throbbing somewhere deep inside. I've had this feeling before, very mildly. I've never explored it. I have no idea what would happen if I did. Last night, it almost took me over, and I really wanted it to.

But I'm still afraid, so very afraid.

It was bad enough that he rejected me. It would be so much worse if he took me with no feeling, no love, only duty.

The idea makes me sick, and I have to suppress a shudder. When I look up, we're almost at the shack, and Jack gestures around the side of the building where his truck is parked.

"Looks like this place is deserted," he says. "I'll guess we'll have to get back to my town to have breakfast. But don't worry, my Mom will have a big feast on, for sure. She's unstoppable in these situations."

He smiles, and I smile back, but my nerves have just strung out even tighter. Father told me over and over again what filthy, rude people they were—the whole Silver Meadows Pack, but Jack's family in particular.

I climb up into Jack's truck, gathering my skirt carefully. This dress was my mother's, one of the only things left I have to remind me of her. I kept it in a chest under my bed my whole life, hoping I would be able to wear it on my wedding day.

How ironic, that I married the man of my dreams—but not because he loves me. Because he was forced to.

This thought makes me so miserable I curl up in the front seat and stare out the window silently. I'm starting to feel numb, and I welcome the feeling. The stress of the wedding, the intensity of last night, now the approaching horror of meeting the Silver Meadows Pack—it's all too much.

Jack plays around with the radio, finding some old country songs. He sings along with a few, trying to catch my eye and smile. I can tell he's pretty nervous, too.

Must be finally sinking in that he's really stuck with me.

Soon, I see the high, jagged peaks of the mountains that rear over Silver Meadows. They seem to speak of places unseen. Places so wild and savage, no creature could survive a night alone there.

"Okay," Jack says cheerfully. "We're almost home. Mom's been texting me that they're set up at her place, so we'll head straight there. After everyone gets to meet you, I'll take you back to our house."

"Sounds good," I answer, managing to sound like I'm looking forward to it. I'm expecting to be grilled about my intentions, spoken down to, hassled, and teased. More than likely, Jack's place is in worse shape than Father's and I'll spend all my time there working my fingers to the bone, cleaning and doing repairs.

When we pull into a driveway with a neat green lawn and a pretty, two story house I have to wonder if we are in the wrong place. There are little flower boxes across the windows, and everything looks clean and lovingly maintained.

I let Jack lead me out the back, where Jack's parents, his sister, and Bailey are sitting around a big table. They all smile when they see us, and Jack's Mom practically launches out of her chair to hurry over to us.

"My baby!" she exclaims as she gives Jack an extremely tight hug. "I'm so excited for you."

"Can you please not call me baby," Jack groans.

"Sorry, can't do it," Carla says, ruffling his hair. "You're always going to be my Babykin."

"Mom!" Jack cries. I can't help giggling.

"Lena," Carla says, turning to me with her arms wide. "Come over and give your old mom-in-law a hug."

I lean in, expecting just a cursory squeeze. Instead, Carla wraps her arms tightly around me and compresses me with more force than an older woman should be capable of—even a she-wolf.

"You're home now," she whispers in my ear. "Welcome home, little dove."

To my shock, I can feel tears stinging my eyes. My shivers are back in full force, and my stomach is flipping like crazy.

Jesus fuck, don't cry!

I can't help it. I don't think I've ever been held with such love in my entire life.

Maybe by Mom. But I don't remember it.

"Mom!" Gina says firmly. "Let the poor woman go. We talked about this!"

"We did," Carla says, reluctantly letting go of me. "I'm just so happy my babykin—I mean, my boy—has found such a lovely woman to spend his life with."

I wonder if she knows how it was organized? Carla is talking as if Jack specifically chose me… not as if it was an arranged marriage.

"Come on," Gina says, linking her arm through mine. "I'm rescuing you. Let's head inside for a few minutes."

I wave to the others at the table, and they wave back. Gina leads me through the house to a small room decorated in blue and white.

"My room," she says. "At least, it used to be. I got some clothes for you—I was pretty sure Jack would completely forget to get your things."

I had nothing to bring.

"Thank you," I answer. "It's very kind."

Gina grins, shaking her head. "No problem. We're sisters now! I'd hug you, but I think Mom might have hugged you out for today. Here."

She picks up a bag off the bed and hands it to me. It's stuffed with clothes. Jeans, tights, sweaters, and shirts, as well as dresses.

I can feel my eyes getting damp again. She's so nice. I can't understand why Father told me they were bad people.

"I got you a few pairs of shoes, too," she says, pointing to some boxes on the floor. "Go ahead and get changed—there's a bathroom to the side here if you want to clean up. Then head out to breakfast as soon as you're ready."

She turns to leave, and I reach out and grab her arm.

"Gina—"

"Yes?"

"I… thank you. For all this. Thank you."

She smiles warmly and wraps me in a warm hug.

"No trouble at all. I know exactly what these pack weddings are like, and I'm pretty sure you got thrown into it the same way I did. I'm here for you, Lena, for anything you need. I promise."

I know I can't keep my tears in another second, but luckily, she turns to go, and I can have a small meltdown. I run my hands over the beautiful clothes, stunned by the generosity of my new family.

I can't understand why Father told me so many bad things about them, or why he had such issues with the alliance. While the peace talks were going on, he ranted about it constantly, saying we shouldn't be sharing our territory at all, especially with wolves that were honor less and brutal.

I pick up a soft pink sweater, holding it to my face. At some point, Father's ranting became very targeted, talking about Jack and his family specifically. It was right before the big party, when Jack rejected me.

Did Father do something? Is all of this his fault?

Those thoughts are definitely too much for me to deal with on such little sleep, especially when Jack's family are outside waiting for me. I clean up quickly in the bathroom and dress in comfortable jeans and the soft pink sweater. Gina has also left me some flat shoes, sandals and hiking boots. I decide to go with the boots and head out the back.

I pause at the doorway, watching everyone talking and laughing together. It feels like I'm watching a happy family on TV, and if I walk in there, the cameras will stop, everyone will walk away, and I'll be left alone on an empty set.

"Lena!" Gina calls. "Come on over and grab some breakfast."

Before I can move, she hurries over to me, her baby snuggled in her arms. When she reaches me, she holds out the warm bundle to me.

"Here," she says. "Have a cuddle and meet your little niece, Natalia."

I don't have a lot of experience with babies, and I'm hesitant, but once little Natalia is in my arms, a warm wave of contentment floods me. Her little eyes are wide and blue, just like Jack's and Gina's. The baby coos at me and waves her tiny hands.

Gina ushers me over to the table as she takes Natalia back, and her father hands me a massive plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. The conversation flows around me, gentle words and soothing, loving tones. This is what I always dreamed families should be like, but I never thought I'd see it, let alone be part of one.

After I've been stuffed with insane amounts of pancakes and coffee, Carla announces that we should get going to we can get settled into the new house.

"New house?" I ask.

"Yeah," Jack looks bashful. "I had this little bachelor pad before, but I was saving for a real house for when I got married. Bailey helped me find it and get everything sorted before the wedding."

My fears about how I'm going to be living get even sharper. Everyone starts to clean up, but Carla forbids us to help and tells us to get going.

"We'll finish up here, don't worry. Just hurry on now and get settled in."

There's a flurry of hugs and goodbyes before I go inside to collect my things, then meet Jack out the front.

"Are you sure it's okay to just go?" I ask, and he nods.

"Mom's all over it. She wouldn't dare let you lift a finger, especially today."

I have a million questions about the house, but I figure I'll see for myself soon, so I stay quiet for now. We drive to the outskirts of town, and my worry deepens.

It's probably a wooden shack.

We turn onto a narrow dirt road, and I feel like all my worst fears are being confirmed. I see a couple of houses on the street, mostly hidden by thick trees. As we come to the end, the scrub thins out, and I see a big one-story brick house behind a rail fence.

When we pull into the driveway, I give Jack a wide-eyed look. He smiles nervously.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"This is ours?"

"It sure is. I know it's a bit out of town, but it has a lot of space. We can have animals, or gardens. Lots of room to build things for the kids."

He stops abruptly, as if he didn't mean to bring that into the conversation. My joy at seeing the house fades a bit. He's just reminded me that this marriage is about duty.

I'd love to get excited about having Jack's children. But if we're going to be raising them in a loveless farce of a marriage, how can that possibly be a good thing?

I get out of the truck slowly, and Jack hurries around to help me with my bags. He has to fumble around with the keys at the door, so I get a few seconds to look at the beautiful long porch and high windows.

"It looks like a big place," I say as we come into the living room. "I'll have a hell of a time cleaning it."

"It's not like you'll be doing it by yourself," he chuckles. "I'll help. It's our house. I don't expect you to do everything."

"What about cooking? Repairs? Is there a job in town you need me to take, so we have enough money?"

Jack stares at me with a little frown on his face.

"Lena, if you'd like to work, that's entirely up to you, but find something you really love. I have a construction supply company, as well as doing some carpentry on the side. I make plenty of money, and you don't need to worry about that. You're free to do as you please, so long as you stay inside Silver Meadows Pack territory where you'll be safe."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "You seriously don't care if I cook or clean?"

He chuckles softly. "I don't expect everyone in the world to be a gourmet cook. If you don't enjoy it, that's fine. We can get takeout, and maybe Mom can teach me a thing or two, I don't know. We'll figure it out. You aren't my slave, Lena."

I look around the beautiful living room, imagining what the rest of the house looks like. I'm astounded by the idea that I get to live here, and I don't have to stress out about cleaning it.

Jack is watching me, a small smile curving his lips. Even though I've been pushing it away all day, the memories he left on my skin are still there, echoing pleasure through my entire being.

I want this. I want it too much!

Which is exactly why I can't believe it.

"Okay, so where do I put my things?" I ask. Jack nods, the sweet look on his face swiftly fading.

"Just head up this hallway. The bedrooms are up here."

The clipped tone hurts me, but it's somehow welcome, as well. Now we're being real with each other, with no lies. I'm a burden to him—this is nothing but duty. All the passion I felt last night was forced. It had to be.

We were being watched, for fuck's sake. Of course he put on a good show. That's probably why Father wasn't there this morning—he figures we actually did consummate!

I follow Jack up the hallway, trying not to think too hard about the future. If I can get through today without crying again, I'll consider it an absolute win.

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