Chapter 6 - Jack

I look at myself in the mirror, staring into my own crystal blue eyes. I can see how tight my jaw is, lines of tension running through my neck and shoulders. I'm preparing for what has turned out to be the most stressful day of my whole life.

My wedding day.

It caught up to me too fast. Through all the meetings and plans, I kind of kept myself detached, and I didn't realize how fast time was passing me by.

I think, deep down, I didn't really believe this was going to happen.

I'm marrying Lena.

"Hey, bud. How's it going in there?" Bae calls. He bangs on the bathroom door, an almost eerie echo of his own wedding day, when I was the one outside, knocking to be let in.

"Well, I'm not struggling with my bowtie if that's what you're asking."

Bae laughs. "Fair enough, but let me in. I don't want to give you a chance to crawl out the window and get out of this."

A sigh eases out of me as I wiggle my bowtie. Bae has been watching me carefully every day, and even though he hasn't said anything, he clearly knows that something is up.

"Let me in, or I'll break the lock," he growls.

I turn around and flick the handle, letting him in and immediately turning back to the mirror. My black hair is a bit long and unruly, and I probably should have gotten it cut. I tug a damp comb through it instead.

"So, buddy, we should talk, yeah?"

"About what?" I mutter.

"About the fact you're clearly having issues with this marriage, even though you suggested it."

"I did," I agree.

"So, what's your deal?"

I sigh, finally giving up on my hair and turning to Bae.

"I want her," I say simply. "I want her too damn much. I said something I shouldn't have said… and I don't know if she'll forgive me. I don't know if I deserve to be forgiven."

I'm deliberately being vague. He doesn't know how I rejected Lena—that it was partially his order that made me do it. All he knows is that he told me to stay away from the family and that I obeyed.

"If you love her, it will all work out," he says, giving me a hard squeeze on the shoulder. "I promise you. Just have faith in her, and tell her the truth."

Bae would have seen me hanging out with Lena last year, maybe, he's even guessed that I had something going with her back then. He has no way of knowing how poorly I handled the situation, though.

"You'd say anything to keep me on track today, wouldn't you," I say, grinning. Bae grins back.

"As your alpha, I'm here to tell you to do your duty to the pack as you pledged to do. As your friend, I'm telling you to swallow your nerves, get in there, and marry the girl you want."

"Sounds like good advice," I say, and Bae nods.

A few seconds later, I give myself one last look in the mirror, then head out the door. We're at a small shack on the Decker Pack's territory, far from town. There is an abandoned church made of stone not far from it, a product of the fervent hope of early settlers who inevitably succumbed to the elements or gave up on their missionary pursuit—probably both.

The shack is overflowing with women from both packs cooking food and getting to know each other. I see Mom making one of her famous cob loaf dips and chatting happily with Belle. This day has definitely brought the packs together. I can't deny that.

I follow Bae out the back door, hearing the women getting organized inside so that they can follow us up to the church. After I take my place, Lena shouldn't be far behind.

Lena. I'm marrying Lena.

No matter how many times I tell myself, I still can't believe it. I pushed all these memories away, buried them under tons of regret and shame and anger, but now they are alive again, bright, shining and dancing in my mind.

Like the first time I saw her…

I was waiting out the back of Gladys's diner, with Bae, waiting for a meeting. Lena walked past with a couple of other girls. The way she turned and smiled at me made my heart pound. I couldn't forget her.

From then on, she always seemed to be near the diner when it was time for a peace talk. I looked forward to seeing her every time we went.

Until I went looking for her and ran into her father instead.

I clench my fists a little, letting the emotions flow through me. I pause at the front of the church, admiring the modest brick design and wreaths of seasonal flowers that have been hung across the door.

By the time I got back to Bae after the fight, he'd already heard about the situation. He ordered me to stay away from the whole family. When we held the big party, I thought it might be a chance for me to truly be alone with her. To maybe figure out a solution to the problem.

What a shock, to find out how innocent she was. A virgin . She didn't need to know about my conflict with her father or the issues with the pack. The only thing I could do to protect her was stay away.

And now, here we are…

I head up to the podium where Carson is waiting. Behind me, other members of both packs take their seats. The little church is full of people coming to witness our union.

So far, I have not seen Peter, and it's a good thing. I don't want to punch out my father-in-law before I even say my vows.

How about just after?

Bae takes his place by my side, and music starts to play. I'm startled by a shadow at the door, and I realize this is it. She's actually here, and this wedding is going to happen.

For a moment, she's just a dark shadow against the bright white of the doorway. Her gown flutters in the breeze, gathering up some of the sun's glow so it looks like she brings an aura of pure light with her.

She steps forward into the church, her head held high. I try to take a breath, but I can't. I feel like I'm drowning, and I don't know if this intensity is passion or fear.

I watch her get closer, the beautiful, shimmering lace gown swirling around her long legs. It's an old fashioned dress, with cup sleeves sitting just off her shoulders and folds of white silk flowing down into a V shaped neckline. The bodice is loose, but clings to her slender waist and hips before sweeping into long pleated folds that whisper across the floor with her every step.

When she reaches the podium, she looks up at me, her clear green eyes cool and impassive. Her strawberry blond hair has been strung with small white flowers and pearls, framing her pretty face with petals, gems, and russet strands.

When she takes my hand, I'm surprised by how sweaty her palms are. She's trembling, just a little. I'm amazed that she can look so cool and confident when she's this anxious.

I don't blame her one bit.

Carson speaks the ritual words, asking us to repeat the vows. At an event like this, we couldn't write our own—we wouldn't have the slightest idea what to say.

Dearly beloved, I'm here marrying this asshole because I have to—

I shove that thought away, looking into Lena's face to find some reassurance that this thought isn't true. In her impassive gaze, I don't find any confirmation, so it does little to comfort me.

Bae hands me the rings, and I slip the cool gold band onto Lena's finger. Even with all my anxiety and shame, I feel a moment of pure, contented joy.

She is mine! For better or worse, she is mine!

I let my gaze linger on her face as she slips the ring on my finger. I never forgot her—how could I? Those long months keeping myself away from her only made her more fascinating to me.

She is the sweet, luscious forbidden fruit, and she's right here in my hands, waiting to be devoured.

I can hear my heart beating in my ears as my body responds to my thoughts. I'm far too aware of her hands on mine.

"You may kiss the bride," Carson announces.

I don't hesitate. I step forward, reaching for Lena's waist. When I pull her against my body, she sighs softly, her eyelids fluttering as she closes her eyes. I bend my head to her sweet red lips and kiss her.

It is the softest, sweetest touch I can manage, gently pressing her mouth with mine. My hands tighten on her waist, and I feel her lean into me as she kisses me back. Arousal crashes through me, making my head swim.

I think every drop of blood in my body just went straight to my cock.

Lena lets go of me, and I reluctantly do the same. We turn towards the crowd, and everyone stands up, clapping as we head down the aisle. Lena keeps her arm linked through mine until we get outside, then carefully untangles herself from me and disappears into the crowd.

I want to chase after her, but all the prominent men from both packs surround me. I'm hurried off to their table to share a strong drink and a cigar while all of them personally give their blessing. I know this is about the top wolves from both clans getting along, so I stay and keep the conversation going. Forming bonds beyond just the wedded couple is the whole point of the marriage.

After a time, the men announce they've kept me from my bride for too long. We head back to the main group and find Lena with the women. Gladys suggests we do our wedding dance, and the crowd cheers its approval.

I take Lena gently in my arms and start twirling her around the floor, trying not to hold her too close. She looks over my shoulder, not meeting my eyes.

"Lena, I—"

"Let's just get this dance over with, shall we?" she mutters. I don't know what to say to that, so I just shut up and hold her gently until the music stops.

She moves away into the crowd, and my hands and body burn with the lack of her. I'm aching from head to foot, dying to kiss her, to touch her and hold her.

She continues to ignore me throughout the night. Even when she smiles, laughs, and sits next to me to open gifts, I can sense her distance from me. It feels like an icy blade being shoved into my heart.

As the party winds down, I wonder what I should do. Surely, she doesn't want to go straight to bed with me… but we do have to put on a good show for the pack.

"There you are!" Belle says, appearing at my side. "It's getting late, so we wanted to tell you there's a special tent set up for the two of you."

"Oh, that's wonderful, thank you," I answer, wondering where my wife is and what her reaction was to this.

"I'll show you," Belle takes my arm and we walk over to the other side of the church. Lena is already there with Gladys and Sasha, and I can see the large tent set up not far away.

"Well, thank you," I say politely. "But if you could give us some privacy—"

"I'm afraid we can't do that," a grating voice cuts through the darkness. I turn towards the tent, seeing Peter standing right next to it.

What is this?

I look towards the women, but Belle, Gladys, and Sasha just wave and start to walk away. Sasha gives me an apologetic look, but she doesn't say anything.

I turn back towards Peter, glaring at him. He's grinning at me, a truly maniacal grin that tells me he's got something planned and neither of us is going to like it.