Chapter 17 - Lena

A few days after our wonderful picnic date, I'm having breakfast with Jack when he casually drops it on me that it's his birthday.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask, disappointed and upset. "I would have gotten you something."

He smiles bashfully. "Birthdays just aren't that big of a deal for me, okay? And you never asked about it, so I thought I'd just stay quiet."

"I didn't ask because I thought you would tell me!" I say, exasperated. "You don't think it's the kind of thing a wife would like to know?"

"It's okay, really. You're all I really want, and I get to spend my life with you—it's the best gift you could ever give me."

"Okay," I reach over the table and squeeze his hand. "I'll organize something nice for dinner, then. Are you sure you don't need me at work?"

"No, it's okay. Did you have any shifts at the diner?"

"I only do an occasional Saturday now, not every day."

"So, you have plenty of time to make me dinner then," he grins playfully, linking our fingers together. "And cook up lots of other surprises for me, too."

I can't stop myself from blushing a little. I'm still getting used to how intense our sexual connection is. I crave him all the time, but I'm also completely and utterly satisfied. Somehow, every single time we are together is even better than the last.

"I'm still learning to bake, but I'll try to make a decent dessert for you. I won't call it a ‘cake' just in case it collapses, and I have to serve it in pieces or something."

"Anything you make for me, I will love," he says, squeezing my hand. "I just don't usually make a big deal of my birthday, and we've had so much going on, it really didn't seem appropriate to focus on myself. I appreciate that you want to do something for me, and that's all that counts."

"Okay, then," I sit back in my chair, sipping my coffee. "I'll see you when you get home."

He gets up and kisses me softly before leaving. I maintain my casual pose until I hear the truck start, then I pounce on my phone.

"Gina!" I practically shriek when she answers the call. "I need your help."

"Oh, lord," she mutters. "Jack didn't tell you it was his birthday, did he?"

"How did you know?"

"It's a classic Jack move. I'll come over soon—did you want to do a big shindig?"

"I don't—I mean—I don't even know."

"I tell you what," Gina says. "Let me throw some things together, and we'll plan a small party. He won't like anything too big. I'll have to drag Mom over so she can make his favorite crumbed steak."

"Can you teach me?"

"Sure. What kind of cake do you think I should get?"

"Well… I'd like to make it myself."

"Hmmm," Gina mutters. "Ever baked a cake before?"

"No," I admit.

"It's not hard, depending on the type of cake you want to make. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you so much, Gina, I want to make this day special for him."

"Of course you do, honey," Gina says warmly. "I'm on my way."

After we hang up, I clean the kitchen and check out some recipes online. The more cakes I look at, the more intimidated I get.

When I hear Gina's car in the driveway I hurry out to open the door for her. She's carrying Natalia as well as getting a ton of bags out of the back of the car.

"Oh, my God, Gina. Let me help."

"Thank you," Gina sighs, swinging Natalia to her other hip. "Jenks will be here in a couple of hours, and he's calling up Jack's best friends. Don't worry, it won't be huge. Mom will be here soon, she just had to grab some supplies. Did you figure out what kind of cake you want to make?"

"No," I say, shaking my head as I struggle towards the door with the bags.

"Well, I think we'll just go with this old recipe Grandma gave me. It's a light, fluffy cake, but it's not as difficult as a sponge. If we make two slices, we can put whipped cream in the middle and then glaze it with caramel. Jack always loved it when Grandma made it."

"I understand very little of what you just said."

Gina laughs. "In a few hours, you'll be a master baker! Now take me to your kitchen."

For the next few hours, Gina introduces me to the wild world of baking. I'm glad she brought baking trays and cake tins because I had not even thought of it. Seeing her expertly cracking eggs and wielding the electric mixer makes me feel a bit intimidated, but she is so sweet and helpful, I find it easy to learn from her.

"How did you learn all of this?" I say in astonishment as we pull two perfectly baked cakes out of the oven.

"Grandma," she says simply. "I just hung out in the kitchen with her constantly. She had this great little house out in the woods, and when it snowed, we would just gather around the wood fire and bake. She had no recipe book because she used raw ingredients from her own farm."

"She sounds wonderful," I say. There is an ache in my chest now. I never knew any of my grandparents.

There is a slight commotion at the door as Carla lets herself in and hurries down the hall to join us. She's carrying a ton of bags, as well.

"How much food do you think we'll need?" she says. Gina laughs.

"Probably not that much."

"I don't know, dear," Carla says, shaking her head. "Your father, Bailey, Jack, Jenks… those boys alone could clean up a whole cow, even in human shape."

"Mother!" Gina cries, covering her ears.

"Just an expression," Carla laughs.

While Carla instructs me in the stages of crumbing steak, Gina shows me how to make caramel and glaze the cake. Jenks arrives and sets up decorations and a boom box. Not long after, Bailey and Gina's dad arrive and head out the back.

"Okay," Carla says, cleaning up the kitchen with me. "We'll all head out the back and stay quiet. Just act like it's an ordinary evening, and you want to go out into the backyard to show him something, then wham! We all jump out."

"Sounds good," I reply, hugging her. "Thanks for all this, Carla."

"Anytime, little dove," she says, squeezing me tight.

I'm standing in the kitchen trying to look casual when Jack gets home. Everyone even parked their cars further down the street, so he would be completely unaware that the party was waiting for him.

"Hi, babe," he says, coming into the kitchen. "Did you have a good day?"

"I sure did," I answer, jumping up to wrap my arms around his neck and give him a big hug. "Hey, can I show you something outside real quick?"

"I was going to invite you to shower with me, but okay,"

I grin and tickle his chest a little. He kisses me, quick but hard. I grab his hand and lead him outside.

We don't even get off the first step before his family and friends leap out of their hiding places and scream "SURPRISE!" Jack grabs his chest and staggers back, leaning on the wall.

"How dare you frighten an old man this way!" he yells. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."

Bailey comes over, shaking his head. "Did I ever tell you, this fool is terrified of aging? It's hilarious."

I'm giggling now, really feeling like I am part of the family. It's hard to believe these people truly are what they appear to be—I never knew people could be so loving towards each other.

Jenks spins up the boom box, and people start to dance and mingle. It's a fairly small crowd, and Jack hangs out with all his friends, loving the food and having a few drinks. He keeps me with him at all times, making me a part of the conversation and introducing me to everyone.

It makes me feel special that he wants me included in everything he does, and that he wants all of his friends to know me. My life with Jack is nothing like what I expected it to be.

After dinner, I bring out my cake and set it in front of Jack.

"Wow. Did you make this?" he asks.

"Well, not really," I answer bashfully. "Gina did most of the work."

"Oh, don't you even!" Gina sings out. "She did it, Jack. I just helped with the recipe."

Jack looks up at me, his beautiful blue eyes full of emotion. He reaches out and takes my hand.

"Thank you," he says. "Thank you for everything, Lena."

I quickly set up the candles and keep my hands busy so I don't end up crying in front of the entire family. After Jack blows out the candles and a few people bring out simple gifts, the party starts to wind down.

We're standing in the driveway together, waving goodbye to the last of our guests, when he turns to me and hugs me tightly against his chest.

"Do you feel like going for another run?" he asks. The memory of our last run together is still fresh in my mind, and I nod eagerly.

There is something about running with him that satisfies a deep craving inside me—something that feels wild, and primal, yet extremely human, as well.

"Let's go," I tug on his hand and we run through the back yard, stopping briefly to take off our clothes then shifting as we run into the forest.

For the first couple of miles, we race through thick scrub, and the paths are dark and twisted. I can hear Jack's breath and even hear his heartbeat as we run side by side.

As the ground rises beneath us, the trees thin out and then suddenly we race out on to a wide, treeless plain. The stars seem close enough to touch, shimmering in the dark sky as pale clouds catch the moonlight and pattern us with deep shadows.

Jack leaps and barks, inviting me to play. I dash after him, and a fierce, encompassing joy rises in me. It's so powerful, I don't know how my body can contain it. My blood is singing, my heart is free, and I am full of life and love in a way I never thought I could be.

The feeling inside me grows in intensity until I have to throw my head back and howl. The song resonates through my bones, connecting me to the forest and the mountain. Jack sidles up to me, and his howl joins mine.

I feel him press up against me. I turn to him, and we wrestle, just a little. Both of us shift at the same time, so tuned to each other that we need no words to communicate. Naked, we roll across the cool grass with the stars glowing pale white in the crisp, still air.

Jack kisses me, and I kiss him back, running my hands across his skin. He holds himself up a little so he doesn't crush me, but I reach up and wrap my legs around him, wriggling against him.

"That's not fair," he whispers. "I'm trying to behave."

I can't help giggling. "I'm not."

"I can see that," he says. He kisses me slowly, softly, stroking my face and looking into my eyes.

"Thank you for the wonderful surprise," he says. "I am so grateful to have you in my life. You make me so happy, Lena, and I should have let myself feel it before now, and admitted the truth to myself. You're all I want, and I love you."

I stroke his hair back from his face, feeling overwhelmed by my emotions. The resentment and hurt that held me back is completely fading away. A traitor part of me clings on to pain, since its all I've ever known. I don't see how love can exist without it.

Jack kisses me, and I open myself up to him, trusting him with my entire being. I want real love. I want to know what it feels like to be truly loved, and I know Jack can show me.