Chapter 24 - Peter

It takes a couple of days for the storm to fully clear. The mountains become impassable, even to wolves, and the roads are even worse.

I spend most of my time with the New Hope pack, hanging out in the hall. I learn about the community projects and the best ways to be involved. Even though I feel awkward a lot of the time, I can’t forget that moment on the mountain when every single one of them answered my call.

I can’t let them down. They believe in me, and maybe I should believe in myself, too.

Though I keep myself busy, I’m thinking about Lucy every single second, worrying about her and desperately wishing I could make up for what I’ve done. I’m still scared she doesn’t want me, and that I’ll put myself out on a limb just for her to shoot me down. But I know I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try.

Even when cell coverage is fully restored, I’m hesitant to message or call her. I don’t think this is the kind of conversation that should happen over the phone. I’m also worried she might hang up on me—or worse, ghost me.

And I wouldn’t blame her one bit.

On the third day, I wake at dawn to a perfectly clear blue sky. Even the highest points of the mountains are visible, rocky sentinels stretching into the sky as if they are worshipping the heavens. I stand at the back of the main hall, looking out over the recently thawed fields and feeling a sense of peace inside myself for the first time in my entire life.

“What’s up, Uncle Pete?” Caleb asks, coming out of the hall. He grabs my hand with his little fingers and grins up at me with a smile so pure and innocent, it makes my chest hurt.

“Storm’s cleared, buddy,” I say. “Time for action.”

“Oooh,” he says. “You’re going to tell Lucy you love her?”

“Jesus, kid,” I laugh. “First of all, how did you know that. And second of all, can you put a filter on that mouth?”

Caleb giggles. “I heard Mom and Dad talking. It’s amazing what adults will say when they think kids aren’t listening. Besides, I knew you were in love with her.”

“Oh, yeah?” I raise an eyebrow. “How did you know?”

“Because you were so cranky and awkward,” Caleb says sagely. “That’s how I can always tell.”

“Love makes people cranky?”

“Only when it’s real,” Caleb answers. “If it’s not, then there’s nothing to get upset about.”

I let out a low whistle. “Kid, you’re older than you look.”

Caleb winks. “Don’t tell Mom.”

“I won’t.”

Caleb goes back inside, and I walk out to the edge of the field, looking up at the high peaks arrayed against the horizon.

I’m coming, Lucy.

I pull off my shirt, ready to shift, when someone screams behind me. I jump in shock, turning around so quickly, I almost fall down.

“What the fuck?” I yell.

“What the fuck?” Jen yells right back. “What the hell are you doing, boy?”

“I’m going to see Lucy, so I can explain.”

“You’re going like that?”

I glance down at my tattered pants and bare feet.

“Well, I’ll be naked when I get there. It’s a long run, and I—”

“Jesus, child,” she grumbles. “What am I going to do with you? Get back in here right now and let me help.”

“Help?” I echo, then shake my head. “Why?”

She grabs my arm and drags me back to the hall. When Fiona and Rider hear about the situation, they both turn different shades of white.

“Let me lend you some clothes,” my brother says. “And take my truck.”

“You’re not going to make me wear those tight pants, are you?” I ask warily.

“It will pay off,” Fiona says firmly. “Trust me.”

“If you say so,” I agree reluctantly.

Half an hour later, I’m in my brother’s truck, heading towards Silver Meadows in a pair of stupidly tight dress slacks and a fitted shirt. On the seat next to me, I’ve got a basket of fresh fruit, a box of artisan chocolates, and a bunch of roses from Fiona’s garden.

I feel fucking ridiculous. This better work!

The roads are perfectly clear now, and the drive doesn’t take that long. When I park in front of Lucy’s house, I feel like I’m in a strange, unfamiliar world, not pulling up to a place I actually lived in for a couple of weeks.

Okay, tough guy. You’re here. Now what?

My heart is hammering, and my mouth is bone-dry as I walk up the path towards the door. I’m desperate to see her, but at the same time, I’m terrified to talk to her.

Standing in front of the door, I take a few deep breaths, then knock firmly before I can change my mind.

It takes a few minutes for Lucy to come to the door, just enough time for me to suffer a complete lapse of confidence but not enough time for me to bolt. I hear her footsteps, and when she finally opens the door, I’m frozen in place with my mind blank and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.

For what feels like a full minute, we just stare at each other. Lucy’s hair is tousled around her face. She’s wearing rumpled pajamas, as if she just woke up.

“Peter,” she whispers.

“Lucy,” I say, hearing my voice come out as an awkward squeak. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“No, that’s okay.” She eyes my gifts and looks me up and down.

“I brought you something,” I say, holding out the basket. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Her eyes widen, and she takes a step towards me.

“I’m sorry for running off the other day. It just happened so suddenly, I didn’t know how to react. I want to talk to you about everything… about us.”

“Us?” she echoes. The way she repeats everything I say gives me the unnerving feeling she’s not fully awake, that she might be dismissing this encounter as a very vivid dream.

“Lucy,” I say firmly, stepping forward so I can take her hand. “I want to talk about everything that happened, but I’m getting pretty worried about you right now. Are you alright?”

Immediately, she reacts, standing up straight and taking a step back from me. She yanks her hand from mine and wraps her arms around herself.

“I’m fine,” she says. “I don’t need your help.”

The cold look in her eyes makes my stomach churn. I can’t believe that just a short time ago, I had this woman’s love, and I was stupid enough to throw it away.

“Okay, that’s fine,” I manage to choke out, trying to sound agreeable. “But can we talk?”

She shakes her head, her eyes looking frightened and sad. “I don’t think so, Peter. I understand that you mean well, but I just can’t right now.”

Disappointment rushes through me, and I struggle not to let it show. My old reactive anger rises against it, my usual defense against any upset that came my way. I struggle to control it, eventually swallowing it down and staying calm in spite of myself.

“I understand,” I say, even though I don’t. “I’ll come back some other time, maybe? I can’t just leave things as they are, Lucy. I need to talk about this.”

“Well, I don’t!” she snaps, sounding worn and tired. “I’m so stressed out, and I can’t handle this right now. Just go.”

Even though her words cut me deep, I don’t budge. “Do you need help today at the shop? I’d like to do some baking, if you have a use for me.”

Her mouth twists, as if she wants to tell me where I can go. But in the end, she just sighs with defeat.

“Yes, actually,” she says. “No matter what my personal feelings are, we do need help at the shop. Your recipes are in demand, and no one can do them exactly the way you do.”

“Glad to hear it,” I say, grinning. “When would you like to go?”

“Just give me a minute to get dressed.”

“Okay.”

I take a step back from the door, still awkwardly holding the gift basket. My heart is hammering like a piston, and sweat is creeping down my hairline. By the time Lucy comes out again, I’ve calmed down a little, but not much.

What if she hates me for what I’ve done, and can’t forgive me?

Don’t think like that.

“Do you want me to drive?” I ask, and she nods.

“Sure, that would be great. I’m really not feeling well today.”

“Are you okay? Have you seen a doctor?”

“I’m fine, Peter,” she hisses. “Everything is under control.”

Her hard tone puts me off asking any more questions. Even though I’m still worried about her, I know better than to pry.

We drive to the bakery in silence, but it doesn’t feel awkward to me. There is tension, but it doesn’t stop me being happy just to be near her.

“Do you like the basket?” I ask.

“Hm? Oh, I see.” She has a look. “Wow, there’s some really nice stuff in here. Thank you, Peter. It’s really thoughtful of you.”

“I’m just glad you like it,” I say with relief. I feel like her acceptance of my gift has paved the way for a conversation at least, even if she isn’t ready to let me back into her heart.

When we arrive at the bakery, it’s incredibly busy. Lucy goes to help at the front counter, and I shoo everyone out of the kitchen so I can bake. Within a couple of hours, I’ve got bread, cakes, pastries, and cookies coming out of the oven and running hot straight onto the shelves.

I’m stacking cupcakes in the front window when Lucy hesitantly asks me to serve.

“Sure,” I answer. “You can count on me.”

She stares at me for a beat too long, and I can hear her unspoken words.

So far, no, I can’t.

I turn towards the line of customers, knowing this is my biggest challenge so far. Getting close to Lucy and accepting the love of my pack are things I’m willing to do, even if they are uncomfortable, because I can see a clear benefit. Being nice to random strangers who are sometimes rude for absolutely no reason is a stretch for even friendly, social people.

Which I am not.

I take my time as I ease into the job, listening carefully to people and using a low tone of voice. My third customer is a stuck-up woman who gives me hell about how I pack her donuts into a box, but I manage to keep a smile on my face regardless.

Actually, I think the best way to get through nasty customers is just to get nicer and more agreeable. That way, they leave feeling like absolute shit for being difficult.

When she finally leaves, I turn around to see Lucy and Sarah staring at me.

“What?” I say, annoyed. “What did I do now?”

“That’s Pink Icing Lady,” Sarah says with a giggle. “She got the nickname because she always wants her pink-iced donuts separated from her chocolate donuts. If one even barely touches another, she brings it back and demands a free box and a refund.”

“Oh, okay,” I say. “So, how did I do?”

“You did great,” Lucy says in disbelief. “I’ve got a funny feeling she might request your service personally in the future.”

“Offering to wrap each donut individually was top-tier,” Sarah agrees.

“Oh,” I say, frowning. “I was just trying to meet her demands in the most efficient way possible.”

Sarah giggles. “Check him out! He’s become a customer service wizard!”

“He sure has,” Lucy says softly. She’s looking at me with deep appreciation, and I can’t help basking in it.

Maybe she still has feelings for me, and all I have to do is prove to her that I won’t run from her ever again.