Chapter 14 - Peter

The next morning, I wake with my arms wrapped around Lucy, trapped between the warm weight of her body on top of me and the soft couch cushions underneath.

I’m not sure exactly how we ended up snuggling like this, but the sex is very clear in my mind. I don’t remember much about how it started, just a raging desire that turned into white-hot lust that ripped away all my control.

I remember every sweet, intense moment after that. And she really does taste like peaches—every single inch of her.

I look down at her, snuggled on my chest. My heart twists inside me. I feel terrible, and I’m not even sure why.

What have I done? What is this going to mean to her?

Lucy murmurs in her sleep and moves on top of me, wrapping herself more tightly around my body. Panic surges through my blood as I wonder how the hell I’m going to move her, and what I’ll say when she wakes up.

Very carefully, I start to slide her off me towards the couch. I wriggle in the opposite direction until I can get a foot down to the ground and slip out from under her. To my relief, she just curls up on the couch and doesn’t stir.

I hurry to the bathroom for a shower, trying to settle the anxiousness rising inside. I’ve never wanted to run more than I do right now, but I also feel a great sense of responsibility that I can’t shake.

Fuck! I can’t hurt her… how can I possibly hurt her? I can’t stay, either. I can’t be the man she needs. What the fuck have I done?

I get dressed in some far more comfortable clothes than the day before and check out my stubble, having a quick shave with a razor Rider brought me. I know I should get some of my own things, but that brings permanence to the situation, as if I’m settling in.

When I go to the kitchen, I hear Lucy stir. I put the coffee on, trying to act casual, but my every sense is homed in on her movements.

While I make the coffee, I check my phone, and there are several messages from Rider telling me to meet him at Shelley’s. Apparently, there’s a pack meeting, and they all want me involved.

What did I just say about permanence?

“Good morning,” Lucy says, coming into the kitchen. I jump a little, cursing myself for losing track of her. I hand her a cup of coffee, trying to hide the fact that my heart is hammering like a hydraulic drill.

“Morning,” I answer. “Looks like I’ve got a pack meeting today. If you could just drop me off, that would be great.”

Best to get straight down to business, and then we won’t have to talk.

“Yeah, I know,” she says. “Fiona has already gone in to open the store, so I can take you.”

“Sounds good,” I reply. “I’ll just finish this, and we’ll go. I guess I won’t get a chance to bug you at the shop today.” I try to smile, but the joke feels flat, even to me.

“Oh, I’m coming,” Lucy says. “Fiona is fine at the bakery with Sarah.”

What?

“Why?” I say gingerly. “I mean, you don’t have to.”

“No,” she says, smiling. “I want to.”

Oh, fuck.

The expression on her face is so sweet and happy, I can’t bear to speak and shatter it, but this is literally my worst nightmare coming true. Forced into “pack business” with wolves I don’t even know, and now the woman I’m tied to against my will is going to watch.

“Okay,” I say flatly, getting up so I don’t have to look at her. I rinse my cup and go stand by the door. Lucy’s face drops a little, but I don’t acknowledge it.

I’m not fucking talking about this.

We drive to Shelley’s in silence. Rider is waiting out the back for us. Even though I’m not looking forward to the meeting, I am glad to see him.

Anything to distract me from what’s going on between me and Lucy.

“Hey, glad you made it!” Rider greets me, giving me a slap on my shoulder. “Let’s head inside. Since you’re going to be sticking around, we all want to make sure you fit in and have a place in the pack.”

“Uh-huh,” is all I can say.

This is torture.

We head inside, Lucy following a step behind. Sitting at the long table is a group of guys and two women. Rider introduces Jack, Kyle, Kelta, Gina, Dane, and Alpha Bailey.

“Sit down,” Bae says to me and Lucy, smiling warmly as he gestures to the empty chairs. “We have the alphas of two packs here, as well as my luna and beta, with Kelta and Dane as representatives for the wild scout group. Between us, we’ll find you a job to do that fits your skills and makes you valuable to the pack.”

I can feel sweat trickling down my sides already. I can’t imagine what kind of work they’d have me do, and I don’t think I’ll find it pleasant.

“Well, we’re kind of tethered together right now,” Lucy says, laughing. “And I can’t go running around in the woods, so his skills might be limited.”

“I know about that,” Bailey says. “From what Rider has told me, Peter, you’ve lived rough most of your life. That means you could be an asset to the wild packs once the tether is broken.”

“We want strong ties with the town pack,” Kelta says. “If a member of Bae’s inner circle was to work with us, we would feel much more included in pack business overall.”

“I want you to feel included, Kelta,” Bae says. “A match between packs would be an ideal way to concrete our ties.”

“Not many of us are unattached,” Kelta says thoughtfully. “But my brother has just come of age.”

Dane blushes right up to the roots of his pale blond hair. “Don’t start this again,” he groans. “I told you, my place is in the forest, not sitting at a desk in town.”

Feels, bro.

“Alright!” Bae waves his hands. “Let’s get back on track. Since Peter can’t leave town, we have a couple of other ideas for him to think about.”

“Excuse me?” Lucy asks. “But why does Peter have to have a particular role? I’m just curious.”

“Wolves without a specific rank often become rogues,” Rider explains. “Having a job to do that serves the entire pack ties them more closely to us. It’s good for everyone in the family because all the pack members are pulling their weight. And it’s good for the wolf because he feels connected and important.”

“Oh,” Lucy says, smiling. “Interesting.”

“Okay,” Bae says, turning back to me. “My idea was to have you work at my store. You’d be with me all the time, so I could guide you through pack business. I thought maybe you’d like to work on becoming a personal trainer.”

Jesus fuck, no.

“Is that, like, a privilege?” Lucy asks. “Having the alpha make an offer like that?”

Bae smiles at her a little indulgently. “No, Lucy. I really could use a hand, and I thought Peter might like to take direction straight from me.”

No fucking way.

“This is all really interesting,” she says, smiling. “I had no idea you guys were so organized. I thought the rankings were just, like, titles or something.”

I barely refrain from groaning and dropping my face into my palm.

“No, Lucy,” Jack says. “Our ranks are important. I’m beta, so if Bae is ever unavailable, my word is law. In any kind of situation, crisis, celebration, or peace, the alpha’s word is always respected and obeyed.”

“And what if someone doesn’t?” Lucy asks.

“There are a number of punishments,” Gina answers. “I don’t think I should go into all of them right now, but trust me when I say these rules have existed for hundreds of years, and they keep packs running smoothly.”

“Oh, okay,” Lucy muses. “Sounds a bit primitive.”

“Then you should see how wild ones handle things,” Kelta says, her eyes glowing.

Please, Lucy. Stop.

“Jack, your idea, please?” Bailey asks, changing the subject.

“You could work at my warehouse,” Jack says. “Nothing too difficult, just unpacking pallets and stuff. Whether you choose to work with me or Bae, it would be a few hours in the afternoon, so Lucy can come along until the tether is broken.”

“So, I’d just have to sit and watch?” Lucy asks.

Gina laughs. “I’m sure we can find you a job to do,” she says.

“Yeah, okay,” I cut in. “I don’t mind the warehouse gig, I guess. That will do until I can get out into the woods.”

“Our work isn’t easy,” Kelta says. “Sometimes we run hard for days, with little food. Often, we don’t take clothes up to the peaks. You have to be extremely resilient.”

“I’ve handled worse,” I mutter, glaring at her. She just smiles at me as if she’s throwing down a challenge.

Bring it on.

“I had another idea,” Rider says. “We could use a coach out at New Hope. For three days a week. Just to teach the kids sport, teamwork, that kind of thing.” Rider looks over at me and smiles. “It was Caleb’s idea.”

To my surprise, this is the most appealing idea so far. Hanging out with the alpha—or the beta, for that matter—sounds extremely stressful.

“What happens if we can’t break the tether?” Lucy asks.

Bae shrugs. “Eventually, you’ll have to come out for pack runs and stuff like that. Peter can’t miss them forever.”

“Pack runs?” she asks, confused.

“When we go to the mountains on a full moon. It’s not every full moon, but almost. We also go on regular hunting excursions. These keep our wolf bonds strong.”

“Do you have to go out and run all over the mountains at night?” Lucy exclaims. “That doesn’t sound like fun to me.”

Gina smiles, trying to smooth over the situation. “We can figure out somewhere comfortable for you to wait. Don’t worry about that.”

“So basically, I’m going to be sitting in the dark, freezing my ass off, just because you guys get a kick out of running around howling at the full moon?”

“Lucy!” I shout, my temper finally bubbling over. “I can’t believe you’ve lived with a wolf for so many years and don’t understand any of our basic concepts. The moon is tied to our blood. Running as a wolf, especially with a pack, satisfies a primal urge. Without it, we can wither and die.”

Lucy stares at me, her mouth hard. “Fiona went out at night sometimes, but I never knew. She never told me.”

“Well, now you do.”

“Is there anything else I should know? You said hunting expeditions. Am I going to have to watch you guys tear an elk to shreds?”

“Yes,” Kelta answers with perfect calm.

Lucy’s eyes widen, and her face goes white. “I’m not doing that!”

“Lucy, please!” I grab her hand and make her look at me. “We can talk about this later. I can explain it all to you and work something out. Just stop asking questions.”

“I need to know!” she says, snatching her hand back and crossing her arms. “This is all just bananas.”

Before I can stop her, she gets up and strides out the door. I’m forced to follow her, so I turn my back on the others quickly, not wanting to see their faces.

“Lucy!” I yell as I come out the back door. “What the hell was that?”

“This might come as a shock to you,” she says sarcastically, “but this is all kind of new to me. Sitting out in the freezing cold while you guys gut defenseless wildlife isn’t my idea of fun.”

“We’re wolves! Fiona will have hunted many times in her life, and she’s still your friend.”

“I’m starting to understand why she kept it from me,” Lucy grumbles.

My head is pounding so hard, it feels like the top of my skull is going to explode. I grab my temples as the tension builds and try to hold it all in, but I just can’t.

“I’ve had enough!” I yell. “I don’t want this—any of this. I don’t want to be in a pack, or have responsibilities. And I sure as hell don’t want you!”

The second the words are out of my mouth, I regret them, but it’s too late to take them back. Lucy flinches as if I’ve just struck her.

She turns and walks away from me, stopping at the edge of the parking lot. I can feel the electricity in the air and the anxiety deep in my guts.

This is as far apart as we can get. The magic won’t let us go any further.

All I can do is watch her, feeling empty, angry, and frustrated all at once.

I don’t know if I want to go over there and comfort her… or run like hell in the other direction the second I get the chance.