Chapter 1 - Lucy

The bell above the bakery door jingles cheerfully, bidding good night to my final customer and the long work day. I wipe my hands on my apron and take a deep breath of the warm, sugary scent that always drifts in the air behind the counter.

I go to the front door and lock it. I take a long look over the dark, high line of mountains on the horizon. The sun has just sunk behind them, leaving a bright gleam across the peaks. Above, the sky is already deepening to midnight blue.

Full moon tonight.

I turn back to the counter, and loneliness aches in my chest. Not so long ago, Fiona would have been here with me. We’d close up together, then head home with Caleb to sit on the couch, eat popcorn, and watch silly comedies.

Now, the evening duties of cleaning out the window and putting away the utensils seem like mammoth tasks, not simple jobs.

I used to skip around this place, lighter than air. Now it feels like I can barely move my feet.

Before I even know what I’m doing, my hand fumbles around in my pocket. I find my phone, yanking it out and slapping it against my ear.

I have to talk to someone.

“Hello?” Fiona asks. “Is that you, Lucy?”

“Yes! Hi.” I wait for words to come, but they don’t, leaving me feeling painfully stupid.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah… sure. I just wondered if you guys were doing anything tonight?”

“Actually, we are. It’s a full moon, and we’re getting together with Silver Meadows and Decker packs for a run to the top of the mountains. Caleb’s finally big enough to come, and he’s so excited!”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

“Why, did you need me for something?”

YES!

“No, that’s okay. You guys get out and have fun. I was just checking in for your hours later this week. It’s been a bit stressful not having you here.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Fiona says thoughtfully. “How about that young girl, Sarah? She just got out of high school. You could move her up to full-time if she wants to.”

“That’s a great idea. Thanks, Fiona.”

“No worries! I better get going. My little pup is bouncing out of his skin here! I’ll chat with you soon. Bye.”

“Bye,” I mutter, pushing the red button and putting the phone back in my pocket. The small, icy sliver of loneliness in my chest grows, making it feel like my heart is splitting in two. I never realized how much I counted on Fiona and Caleb as my family.

But they aren’t my family.

I pull myself together and start packing away the leftover pastries and stacking empty containers. At first, I work quickly and efficiently, but then I remember I have no one to go home to, no reason to rush. Before I know it, I’m crying over the cake tins.

“Fuck this!” I mutter, shoving the baking trays away. I wipe tears from my eyes and grab my keys, hurrying out to my car. I have no idea what I’m going to do at home by myself, but I can’t stay here.

Maybe it was a mistake to stay in Silver Meadows. I was always going to be alone and misunderstood here, a witch all alone in a wolf pack.

There had once been an established coven here over many years. My parents and aunts were members of it. When the majority of them left, I decided to stay. Silver Meadows was all I’d ever known. Even now, I don’t want to move away.

The ever-changing energy brought to the region by tourism is what drove the coven away, but it’s also what holds me here. I find it invigorating, where the other witches felt it polluted the natural vibes of the forest.

They moved further into the wilderness. So far that I can barely even contact them.

Sighing, I start the car and drive through town. Briefly, I consider going to Shelley’s, but now that I know there’s a wolf run going on, it will probably be empty. There are a couple of other witches in town, but I don’t know them well enough to start randomly knocking on their doors.

When I pull into the driveway, an icy breeze is blowing down from the high peaks. The sun is long gone, and the sky is clear, gleaming obsidian speckled with chips of glowing marble. I lean my head back, taking in those stars, wishing I could fly away and let the endless void embrace me.

Would anyone miss me?

I head inside, trying to ignore the silent stillness of the house. Suddenly, I can’t decide what to do. Ordinary routines beckon me—taking a shower, making some popcorn, and watching TV—but these seem like a pointless distraction from the emptiness inside.

If I just do what I always do, nothing will change. I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling worse, and this will just go on and on.

Tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill down my cheeks. I’m happy for Fiona and the others, I truly am. It just doesn’t stop me being sad for myself.

I never knew it was possible to feel this lonely.

Where is my love? There must be one for me, somewhere in this vast and wonderful world.

With a small gasp of surprise, I realize that tonight would be the perfect night for the ritual to call a lover. When the moon is waxing, almost full, the energy of the maiden becoming the mother is incredibly strong. It is the perfect phase for finding love.

I don’t give myself time to think, I just run straight into my room to fetch a clear quartz crystal and a white candle. Hurrying outside, I pick a pale pink rose and set off into the woods.

I can hear the distant howls as the wolves race into the mountains. All three packs are strongly bonded now and have become one huge family.

The closer they get, the more isolated I feel.

I move in the opposite direction, finding myself a small hill with a clearing at the top. The circle of dark trees creates a protective barrier for my spell, and the moon directly above casts rays upon me without shadows in the way.

I take off my dress, leaving it at the edge of the trees. Witches aren’t quite as comfortable with nudity as shifters are, but spells should still be performed entirely unclad. I set my candle on the ground, placing the crystal behind it and the rose in front.

Lighting the candle isn’t easy, but I finally get the wick to catch, and the breeze settles enough for the flame to burn steadily. Setting the matches aside, I turn back to my items and kneel, leaning back so I can look directly at the moon above me. I began to recite the pagan creed that all divinity has but one source.

“All gods are one god,” I whisper. “All goddesses are one goddess.”

I could call upon Aphrodite, Venus, or Freyja, but all of them are derivatives of the same energy. It doesn’t really matter which name I call on—the goddess will hear me if my heart is true.

“By my flame and crystal light, under moon, full and bright—guide my lover to me, here, tonight!”

Holding my breath, I let images cascade through my mind. The loving looks between Fiona and Rider, the joy on Caleb’s face as he sits between them. I imagine the empty spaces of my home filled with laughter and company—a real family.

In my mind, I can almost see him perfectly. He’s tall and strong, with a powerful gaze. He radiates a fierce, almost dangerous energy. That fire consumes and warms me… but never burns me.

A soft gasp slips through my lips as heat rises in my body, throbbing between my legs, tightening my nipples, and bringing a hot blush to my cheeks.

It’s been too long since I felt a lover’s touch!

“Merciful mother, goddess of love and fertility… hear me. Bring my heart’s desire to me… the man I need, and the man who needs me.”

A man just like Rider.

I stay completely still for some time, watching the moon above my head until my eyes hurt. I feel nothing inside, no comfort and no release. A chill suddenly comes into the air, leaving me covered in goosebumps and killing the lust inside me.

That’s one way to do it, I guess.

When I look down, my candle has gone out, and all the pale pink petals have fallen off the rose. I watch them scatter as the wind gets stronger, beginning to howl as it twists around the mountain peaks.

Gathering up my things, I hurry to put my dress back on and rush through the forest. The cold has set into my skin, making me tremble so badly, I can barely put one foot in front of the other. My teeth are chattering by the time I make it back to the house, but I still pause at the back door to look up at the moon one last time.

Did you hear me, Great Mother? Is there a man out there who needs me as much as I need him?

I feel absolutely nothing. No acknowledgement, no warmth. The sense of loneliness within only cuts deeper, with a sharper edge. Another cold gust of wind hits me, and I hurry inside, trying to hold back my tears.

Then I realize I’m still holding the naked stem of the rose. I slip back outside and toss it under the trees. My candle had burned down so low, it wasn’t worth bringing back. When I go inside again, I take my clear quartz back to my altar and place it next to the center candle.

The altar is a simple affair, just a few trinkets with a candle and incense holder set on top of a dresser. I run my fingers over my sacred objects, feeling their energy. I don’t often do spells; I don’t like to influence the will of the goddess in any way. Now that the spell is done, I’m not sure what drove me to it.

After a moment, it occurs to me that it wasn’t just loneliness—I felt something more. Not that I wanted to be saved, but that I could save someone else. There is a loneliness out there deeper than my own, connected to my heart. I can feel it, and I can’t stand it.

Sighing, I shake my head and go to run a hot bath. My imagination is running wild with me now, and it’s very important in spell work to separate fantasy from reality. The rushing of the warm water and clouds of steam comfort me immediately, even more so when I toss in a generous amount of rose-scented bath salts.

While the bath fills up, I go get a tall glass of white wine and a box of chocolates. When I sink into the warm water and take a deep sip of crisp shiraz, my muscles start to relax. I pop a chocolate into my mouth and moan with pleasure as the strawberry-filled candy dissolves on my tongue.

This isn’t so bad. If I’m going to do the single girl thing, I should take it to the hilt. Join a community group. Start a course. Actually, go on a date sometime.

I let the bright chatter of my thoughts run away with me as my senses become overwhelmed with pleasure from the wine, warm water, and sweet chocolate. Deep down, though, I know all of this is temporary relief. By tomorrow, I’ll be even more lonely than I was before.