Chapter Eleven - Sophia

Shamefaced, I sit in front of Dr. Perri, dreading her asking what happened at the prison. How the hell am I going to explain what’s on the tape?

“Thank God my daughter was alright. I’m so sorry I had to leave you in the thick of things like that. I really am.”

“Is she okay now?” I ask with concern, a million and one other things on my mind. She’s going to get rid of me after she finds out why, but I have to tell her the truth. There’s no point in lying to her.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Plus, I let her stay up all night watching all the movies and eating a tub of ice cream. Anyway, enough about that. Let’s talk about the research project and how you handled the interview process.”

“I… um, I couldn’t get through the full interview with Andrei,” I blurt out.

Dr. Perri’s expressions softens. “Did he try to intimidate you? Because remember what the protocols were if they were noncompliant? He shouldn’t have been, he signed the document advising he was happy to divulge information.”

Flabbergasted that I have to spill the beans, I drop my face into my hands for a second. Dr. Perri places a hand on my back. “Shit. This is so bad. Please don’t hate me. I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s so bad,” I groan, sitting back up as the blood rushes from my head.

“No. I bet you haven’t. It’s an interview, and I remember the first one I did too. I was so nervous I almost peed myself.” She laughs, pointing to herself in a self-deprecating manner. “And I’m the one who would be so bold as to interview criminals.”

Cringing, I tilt my head. “No. That’s not the reason I stopped the interview, and it is worse than you think.”

Dr. Perri’s face doesn’t change. “Alright. Let me stop guessing. Why didn’t you keep going with the interview?”

“I had this thing, like an infatuation with Andrei. I was out with my girlfriends at Destiny Bar, and he was there. I had no idea that Andrei was a Mafia boss at the time. I swear.” Terrified of what she’s going to say, I brace myself for the bad news.

“Okay, so it was a little infatuation at the club. Like a crush type of thing. As you saw him in the bar, kissed or something?” she deduces, only picking up the most innocent version of events.

“That’s only part of the story,” I mumble, truly wanting the conversation to end.

Dr. Perri sighs. “Hey, you’re young. We’ve all had some screw-ups with the opposite sex or same sex, whatever you’re into, but I swear it gets better. I swear I’ve got plenty of stories about wanting the bad boy.” She grins, her empathy reassuring, but not enough. “That’s all huh?”

Shaking my head, I shut my eyes, feeling the sting of tears. “No. That’s not it.”

“Okay… what else is there?”

I look skyward trying to stop the tears from falling. Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m going to lose everything. This isn’t the life I planned. Not one without my parents being alive, and not one of being knocked up by a Mafia man in prison. “I… I’m pregnant,” I sob, tears falling onto her desk.

Dr. Perri nods, placing a hand over the top of mine. “When did you find out?”

Bursting into tears, I let out the truth. “Right after the interview. He was trying to flirt with me the whole time and asked me to meet up with him again,” I confess, but Dr. Perri’s face remains neutral while she offers a quick solution.

“You know what you have to do, yeah?”

“No, no, I don’t. I’m so confused. I shouldn’t have taken him home. I don’t know… he felt safe to be with.”

“I’ve got an easy solution for you. If you only just found out, then you’re not too far along. You must abort the baby as fast as you can. Find a reputable abortion clinic and get it done now, before it goes any further.”

Sniffling, I pluck a tissue out of her Kleenex box on her desk, blowing my nose like a horn. “You think I should just get rid of it?” Perplexed by her answer, I don’t know if it’s the right decision or not.

“Yes. I think you should. Here’s why,” Dr. Perri advises in a clear tone. “You have too much going for you. You’re one of the brightest students in your class, and take it from me as a mother, it will change the trajectory of your life forever.”

“But you’ve done it. Look at you!” I tell her, unconvinced that I should abort, but also concerned about having a baby with a criminal.

“It’s not easy, and I’ll let you in on a secret. If I could go back in time, I would have waited a little longer. Just until I matured a bit.”

Sniffing, I listen to her logic, all jumbled up inside. “I don’t know if I can do it, Dr. Perri. It’s a baby, and it’s growing inside of me. Maybe I’m supposed to have it,” I tell her, talking my feelings out loud.

“No. No. There’s no possible world where you’re supposed to conceive a child with Andrei Utkin. You should focus on your career and your studies. And when you do decide to have a baby, you don’t want it to be with a Mafia boss. Nope. You surely don’t,” Dr. Perri persists, her face stern.

“Are you sure? Maybe he doesn’t have to be involved so much, and we can co-parent. He probably doesn’t want it anyway,” I tell her glumly, thinking about the fact Andrei didn’t even call me afterwards.

“Oh no, Sophia. That’s where you’ve got it all wrong. I’ve spent a long time researching the dynamics of criminal families, and out of all the ones you could have picked, sheesh.” She rubs her hands over her thighs, and edgy look on her face.

“What?” Filled with dread, I wait for the bad news. “What about his family?”

“The Russian Bratva have a strict tradition. Don’t you know?”

“No, I don’t,” I reply carefully. “I didn’t get a chance to dig deeper.”

“Of course not, but they are a brotherhood and keep things in the family. Like the Mafia but in a different way. They take pride in their bloodline. Even if the baby is yours and it’s come out of your belly, it’s not really yours. He will take the child and raise it the Bratva way. His way,” she enforces, pressing her point.

A fresh batch of tears spring from my eyes. “Not mine. He would take my baby? Do you really think he would do it?” I ask softly, the recall of sleeping soundly in Andrei’s arms cropping up.

“Yes. I do.” A rap at the door has me gathering myself and wiping the excess of tears from my face.

“One sec. Let me see who this is.” Dr. Perri rises to her feet as I struggle to digest the bad news. When she opens it, she appears shocked. “Christopher! Nice to see you, what are you doing here?”

“Can I not come and visit my sister?” he asks, his charm shining through.

“You can, you can, it’s unexpected that’s all. What brings you by?”

“I was in the neighborhood visiting Professor Greene, and wanted to see how your papers and research are going.”

“Ah, Professor Greene. Nice. How is he?”

“He’s good.” Christopher’s warm brown eyes land on me, and I hope he can’t tell I’ve been crying. “Hello, I’m Christopher Newton. How are you?”

“Sorry, sorry. Where are my manners,” Dr. Perri says. “This is my lovely research assistant, Sophia Hearst. She’s volunteered her time to help me with the resurgence paper.”

Christopher’s eyebrow peaks as he regards me with admiration. It’s almost as if he’s entered the fold at the right timing, reinforcing Dr. Perri’s advice about not fucking up my career by having a baby. “Ah, I’ve heard good things about you. How are things going?” he asks cheerfully, his dimples on full display. He’s good-looking, tall, amicable, and well dressed.

Badly. That’s how it’s going. “Ah,” I start, taking a quick peek at Dr. Perri, whose smile doesn’t give anything away, “it’s going well. We’re catching up from interviewing inmates.”

“Wow. That must have been quite the experience for you,” Christopher says.

“Yes. It was an eye-opening experience, that’s for sure,” I add, but I feel like it’s giving me the right tools for where I want to go in the future.”

“You’re already ahead by working with my sister. I warn you, though, she’s liable to throw you in the deep end.” His smile sparkles, and if ever there was a representation of a lawyer, he would be it.

“Consider it done. I ended up interviewing one of the Bratva bosses while I was at the prison.”

“I was right.” He chuckles, taking a glance over at his sister.

“Peanut allergy with Marcy. She handled herself well, and she’s got great initiative. She’s going to go far. That’s for sure,” Dr. Perri covers, but I feel like a fraud, knowing I only conducted a partial interview.

“I believe it. Matter of fact, let me give you my card, and if you ever need any guidance for your classes or anything, feel free to give me a call. That’s my direct line.”

Floored by the gesture, I keep my high emotions in check. “Thank you so much. I will.” I turn the glossy card embossed with his initials over in my hand. I have a few business cards in my purse, but this would be the coveted one. Ava is going to die. She is anyway because I haven’t called her back. Now I’m avoiding talking to her because I know she’s going to ask me a bunch of questions about Andrei that I’m not ready for.

I want to be so happy when he gives me the card, but instantly my heart sinks knowing I’m going to have to make a difficult decision soon.

“Alright, Sister. I can see you’re preoccupied, but I’ll call you a little later.”

“Done, Brother.” She winks at him as he turns and walks out of the door, the timely encounter saddening me.

I just hope I make the right decision for both my unborn baby and me.