Chapter 38 Indie

Chapter 38

Indie

This week has been a cyclone of activity and there’s no end in sight. Not enough people talk about the toll medical trauma can have on a person. Growing up my parents shielded me from it. Being on the other side of it now, I can tell you this shit is awful and the exhaustion I feel has nothing to do with my actual appointments. It’s everything else, the financial burden, hoops the insurance companies make you jump through, decision fatigue. It all adds up and makes surviving even harder.

My hand trembles as I raise the eyeliner to my lids, hovering above my lash line. I set it down, shaking out my hand and picking it back up. It’s just his parents and sisters. It’s not like I’m meeting the president, I remind myself.

It’s not helpful because honestly, this feels monumental, maybe even more so than meeting a head of state. Dom’s already at the stadium and I’m sitting with the girls tonight, so I won’t even have to face them until after the game. I’m being ridiculous. I know that, but can’t help it. And more than anything, I wish I could call my mom. She’d know what to say to calm me down. Like she always did, she’d give me perfect advice to calm my nerves without telling me what to do.

These damn hormones are screwing with my ability to keep it all together.

With my curly mane tamed and light makeup I’m hoping will cover the dark circles from the last couple days,

My phone rings with a FaceTime call that I’m not expecting. “Aren’t you supposed to be out on the field warming up?” Instead, he’s in an office I recognize from when I hurt my ankle. That day feels like a lifetime ago. So much has changed since he came to my rescue.

He pushes his hand through his hair. “Just wanted to check on how you’re feeling.” Worry creases his forehead. He’s given me autonomy over decisions about how we handle this, but I know he’d prefer I tell the girls what’s going on. He wants me to have support, but with him by my side I already feel like I have everything I need.

“A little sore.” I shrug. I’ve been poked and prodded nonstop since meeting with Dr. Smith. Fortunately, things lined up with my cycle, so I could start the hormone injections a few days after the first appointment with the fertility specialist. I’ve yet to ask, but I’m positive even getting in to see them was helped along by Dom dropping his name.

“Fuck, Baby, I’m sorry. I’m going to try using ice on it first tonight and I looked up some relaxation techniques that might help.” Dom hangs his head, and I wish I could be there with him. Guilt has been eating at him since yesterday over the bruises on my stomach from where he gave me my first shots for the egg retrieval process.

“Dom, are you kidding me? I couldn’t have done it without you. I expected it to hurt. We’ll figure out what works together.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he grumbles. It kills me that my problems have made my happy-go-lucky man so stressed, especially with the additional pressure of the postseason starting in just two days.

“I’ll let you kiss it better later tonight when I see you after the game,” I promise. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, you know that. ”

“Good. Make sure you do a few extra stretches for me before that game. I think it’ll really help me feel better.”

His rich laughter is enough to dull the aches I’m feeling from the injections.

“Are you objectifying me?” he scoffs with faux horror.

“Yep.” I’m not above resorting to his methods of banter and humor to coax him out of his guilt.

“It’ll be a hardship, but I think I can manage.”

“Have a good game. I’ll be waiting for you afterwards.”

“Fuck, I love that.” There’s a knock on the door behind him. “Gotta go. See you soon.”

Shit, I’ve gotta get going too. I shove my feet into a pair of sandals and grab my bag to head to Poppy’s so we can ride over together.

The team secured their spot in the postseason already, which means the pressure is off tonight. This game doesn’t impact their season other than what kind of momentum they carry into their first series. Still, I’m so nervous for Dom and not just because his parents are going to be there, but because they are playing Phoenix. If they were just a rival, it would be one thing, but now that he knows who Jensen is and with the added history between them, it feels like the lit fuse to a bomb just waiting to go off.

Maybe I’m worried for no reason. Jensen doesn’t know I’m in Denver, let alone who Dom is to me. Plus, Dom is basically the most laid back person on the planet. I’m sure it’s just my already frayed nerves, married with the fact that I’m meeting his family tonight.

My fingers tap out a too fast beat to the radio on the drive to Poppy’s and by the time I pull into her driveway, I’m seriously considering turning around and going home to cry into my pillow.

“Hey,” Poppy says, greeting me at the door with a smile.

“Hey,” I reply with a lot less enthusiasm.

“What’s wrong?” She reaches out, looping her arm over my shoulder and moving me inside. The simple gesture has tears pooling in my eyes. “Are you still not feeling well?”

My throat burns with the lie I’m about to tell. “Just jittery, I think. ”

She bites her lip, looking like she’d rather do anything but say whatever is on the tip of her tongue. “Um. I’m not sure I should tell you this. But I feel like I should warn you, in case you don’t already know.”

Oh. I hadn’t exactly forgotten about my ex playing for Arizona. A fact that Dom reminded me of earlier, so I wasn’t caught off guard by seeing him tonight. It’s just with everything else going on, it’s not my biggest concern. “I already know that Jensen will be there,” I tell her.

“So you’re nervous about meeting the family?” she asks, tilting her head to the side. It reminds me a little of Ronnie, which makes me laugh. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

“Yeah, it’s a big step.”

“Do you think it’s too soon?” My normally loud best friend rubs my back, her voice filled with quiet concern.

I actually snort out a laugh at that one. She’s going to think I’m crazy. Maybe Dom is right and I should tell her everything if for no other reason than her not thinking I’m losing it. I will tell her, just not tonight. “No, it’s not too soon,” I finally say.

In the grand scheme of things that Dom and I have gone through together, tonight should be a cakewalk, and maybe it would be if I wasn’t pumped full of hormones.

“Is everything okay with you?” She eyes me cautiously, her eyes sweeping over me. “Something’s been off since you moved. Are you not happy here?”

“No, that’s not it.” I take her hand in mine, desperate to reassure her. “Living closer to you is everything. I’m happy, promise, just in my feelings today. But you know what always cheers me up? Baseball pants.”

“Okay, now I know something is very wrong. Who are you and where is my best friend?”

“The butts were never the problem and they definitely aren’t now. Are the rest of the girls meeting us there?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that deflection.” She checks the time on her phone. “Shit, we’ve gotta get going or we’ll miss warm-ups.”

“What the hell are we waiting for? The stretching is the only reason I’m going.” I grab her keys from the hook and toss them to her.

“No, it’s not.” She catches them, leading the way out the door to her car.

“Fine, there are other reasons too,” I admit opening the passenger door.

The traffic gods take pity on us and we are in the stadium before the guys come out onto the field for warmups.

We take our seats along the outfield wall, the same seats Poppy and Delilah have been sitting in for the past few seasons. Tonight we take up half the row with Janet, Marv, Mia, and Willa joining us as well.

Mia and I are talking about her upcoming book release, when Poppy lets out a high-pitched whistle next to me as the players run out onto the field.

Cruz is the first to spot his wife, blowing her a kiss. Next, Dean kisses his fingers and points to Mia. Such a secret softie, that one. Hendrix jogs out to center field and winks at Poppy, who’s screaming her face off at him.

We’re a spectacle, and I’m sure everyone in the section is watching the chaos unfold. But I don’t notice because when Dom takes his spot, legs spread, he bends forward at the waist, stretching. Laughter bubbles out of me because that damn red thong is visible, clear as day, through his pants. After a few extra deep stretches, he looks over his shoulder and wiggles his fingers at me, blowing a giant bubble, before he pops up and joins Cruz and Hendrix in playing catch.

Willa leans across Mia to ask, “Have you ever made him wear the thong for you?”

“What do you think?” I ask, holding my hands out towards him. “Have you met this man?”

She simply holds out her hand for a high five and I give her one without a second thought because my man looks good in those baseball pants, but him in a thong, well that’s something I’ll never forget. Maybe because I laughed so hard I got the hiccups.

“I’m so nervous.” Mia’s knee bounces against mine.

“No one wants to lose the last series going into the postseason and Phoenix won’t take a loss lying down tonight,” Delilah says, sounding like a seasoned pro compared to the rest of us. Which makes sense since she’s come to almost every home game for the last four seasons.

“Plus, Phoenix has a chip on their shoulder after being so close to making the postseason and getting knocked out by their loss to the Boston Revs earlier this week,” Willa says matter-of-factly.

All of us turn to look at her.

“What? Just because I’m not sleeping with one of them doesn’t mean I don’t know the sport.” She pops a peanut in her mouth chewing. “But if any of those rookies happen to be single, I wouldn’t kick them out of bed for eating biscotti.”

“You can do better than a rookie. What about the new assistant manager?” Janet says, pointing to where Miller Murphy is standing against the dugout talking to a few of the coaches. “That man looks like he knows a thing or two about how to use his bat.”

“Can we not? I’m right here,” Marv says.

“And yet you still love me.”

“That I do.” He kisses the back of Janet’s hand, settling it into his lap.

A few minutes later, we all turn towards the outfield scoreboard for the national anthem. The first few innings are scoreless, with not much action coming out of either team. But the Bandits get their bats going in the top of the fourth inning with a single from Cruz with two outs. Hendrix drives one into the gap and it takes the left fielder too long to chase it down, leaving Cruz room to score.

The momentum is short-lived when Dom pops one up resulting in the third out and leaving Hendrix on second. Just as Willa predicted, the Roadrunners come out ready to even things up.

My heart is in my throat when Jensen comes up to the plate. It’s the second time today I’ve had to watch him bat, and it hasn’t gotten easier. If anything, the anxiety builds more each time I spot him out there. I was much happier not knowing where he was or what he was doing. Seeing him share the field with Dom makes me hate him even more .

Chewing on my thumb I watch nervously as the Bandits pitcher shakes off Xavier’s sign, not liking what he’s seeing after throwing two balls and one strike. By the time the pitch smacks the leather of Xavier’s glove, I’m practically sweating.

Mia leans close, whispering, “You okay? You don’t look so good.”

“Fine, just not used to how warm it is here yet. And no damn breeze.” I tug at the collar of my tank top.

When the next pitch is thrown and Jensen strikes out I feel like I can breathe again, especially now that he is back in the dugout, out of my line of sight.

Not today, Douchelord.

For the next few innings, both teams advance runners but strand them before anyone can score. It’s frustrating as hell. With the score still one to zero in the eighth, I’m unraveling at the seams when Dom steps into the batter’s box. “Come on, come on,” I chant quietly to myself while he gets set in his stance.

“He’s got it,” Mia says, taking my hand and squeezing.

He’s laser focused up there, completely zoned in. I feed off his energy, wanting it as bad as he does. He watches the first pitch curving away and steps out of the box, his bat under his arm, and readjusts his elbow guard. The same concentration is etched into his features.

This time when the pitch comes down the middle, he swings, sending it over the shortstop’s head, the ball bouncing in the grass before the outfielders can get there to make the catch.

“Hell fucking yes!” I scream, probably a little too loudly, but oh my god am I proud to call this man mine.

The hit only gets him a single, but with Dean following him in the batting order, Dom breaks away and steals second, sliding headfirst before the catcher can get the ball to Arizona’s second baseman. He pops up from the dirt, brushing his pants off and I swear the smile on his face lights up the whole stadium, or maybe that’s just because I’m fucking gone for this man.

“Look at that smile,” Poppy sings.

“Right?” Why do I sound out of breath?

“Oh honey, she wasn’t talking about him.” Janet laughs, reaching across her granddaughter to pat my knee.

Heat crawls up my cheeks. I never blush. That’s Lilah’s thing. “There’s a baseball game to watch. And it’s out there.” I point to the field where Dean is still staring down the pitcher, his face serious.

“Gah. He looks so good when he gets all grumpy like that.” Mia sighs next to me just as he swings the bat, sending the ball down the first baseline. The outfielder runs up on it, scooping it up and firing it back to the Roadrunner’s first baseman, getting Dean out. It’s enough to put Dom firmly into scoring position.

“Nice hit, Baby. Way to advance the runner.” Mia stands, clapping and pointing at Dean as he jogs back to the dugout.

Xavier struts out to the box next, looking over his shoulder to where the most of the WAGs sit and shaking his head. “What’s up with that?” I wonder out loud.

“Kristy probably didn’t show up to the game again,” Poppy comments.

“I don’t know why he keeps chasing her,” Mia says, shaking her head. “Wait, is he going to bunt?”

“Looks like it and Dom’s fast enough to make that play,” Lilah agrees, scooting forward in her seat just as Xavier drops his bat to bunt, killing the ball and placing it perfecting midway down the first base line and just fair.

As soon as he makes contact with the ball, I’m on my feet yelling for Dom to run and making a complete fool of myself, but I couldn’t care less, because the man that’s worked his way into my heart crosses home plate and scores.

The top of the ninth brings the energy in the stadium down a few notches when Arizona scores with a one run homer. With two outs and the game on the line, we need a quick out to end the game.

“When did baseball get so nerve-wracking?” I ask no in particular.

“About the time you fell in love with one of the players?” Poppy comments offhandedly, not taking her eyes off the field .

Well fuck, now I feel like I might throw up for a whole other reason. The fertility drugs are playing games with my emotions and I’m not sure what’s real anymore or what’s being amped up because I’m pumped full of hormones.

Dom puts me out of my misery, making a routine catch when the batter sends a fly ball in his direction and ending the game.

Or maybe not, I swallow, because now it’s time to go meet the family; his parents, who by all accounts, are perfect and still very much in love, everything he wants to be. And his sisters, who he would protect with his dying breath.

What if they hate me? Or worse, what if they love me but think Dom is risking too much by being with me?

“Hey, you’ll be fine. Dom worships you. He’s been calling you his future wife for over a year at this point. You have nothing to worry about,” Mia reassures me.

Grabbing my drink, I take a sip trying to cool the emotion burning my throat. “Not helping,” I say, a crazed laugh sneaking out. These damn hormones have me going from nearly crying to panic and back again in mere seconds.

Dom is the definition of a man obsessed. I know that. I’ve always known that, but all of this suddenly feels so overwhelming. Poppy throwing out the “L” word and it feeling very right. Mia letting it slip that Dom has been manifesting me as his wife for over a year. His family waiting in the wings to meet me. What if this all goes horribly wrong and is ripped away before I get the chance to really enjoy it? Because that’s what I want more than anything, to let this man love me the way only he can, for as long as he can.

Willa, Marv, and Janet left right after the game, so it’s just Delilah, Mia, Poppy, and I snaking through the corridor to the family waiting area. Each step has my heart beating harder than the last.

Reaching out I grab Poppy’s arm stopping her. “I’m just going to duck into the bathroom.”

“Okay, I’ll come with you.”

I shake curls whipping my face. “No.” Forcing a smile, I add, “I’m fine, just too much lemonade.”

“If you’re sure. ”

“I need to do this on my own. Just give me a second to collect myself.”

“If you decide to run, text me. I’m an excellent getaway car driver,” she says, trying to lighten the mood.

“No running.” It’s the first thing I’ve said since we left our seats that I’m sure of, this man is my future.

“Okay. See you soon.” She squeezes my hand. Then leaves to catch up to Mia and Delilah, who are further down the hallway, where it opens up to a waiting area outside the locker room.

Ducking into the bathroom, I beeline for the sink, washing my hands with cool water before patting my face with them. “Stupid hot flashes,” I murmur, bracing my hands on the sink and looking at myself in the mirror. “They’re family, Ind,” I tell myself.

Pulling up my big girl panties, I step out into the hallway, but before I even clear the doorway, I hear a laugh I’d know anywhere. One I never wanted to hear again that makes my stomach heavy and my neck tense.

“Well, well, what do we have here? You looking for me?”

Chills crawl up my spine at the mocking tone he uses as he steps closer. I should walk away. I should shout for one of the girls, but I freeze up.

“No, it’s not me you’re after. It seems you want a Bandit.” He reaches out, his fingers pinching the badge hanging from my neck. I yank it back.

“Don’t touch me, Jensen,” I seethe quietly.

“Oh come on, which one is it?”

“None of your business.” I look down the hallway, not sure what I’m hoping to find, but it’s empty. The girls are probably right around the corner and none of the guys appear to have left the locker room yet. There’s no one coming to rescue me.

He moves quickly flipping the badge over so Dom’s name and number are visible on the pass.

“Dom Duran. Interesting.” He laughs and a cold sweat covers my skin. “I bet he wouldn’t mind at all if you came back to the hotel with me instead. I’m meeting up with a pretty little thing I met at the hotel bar last night. I bet she’s just your type. We could have some fun, for old times sake. ”

Bile climbs up my throat. How did I ever think I loved this horrid man?

“Fuck you,” I spit back. Turning towards my waiting friends I don’t look back. My fists are balled at my side and I’m shaking when I get to the end of the hallway.

Mia spots me first, her brows pulling together in concern, so I plaster a smile on my face and join her. Followed quickly by Dom’s family and my cheeks heat at how eagerly they wave me over.

“You must be Kelly. Hi, I’m Indie,” I say to the woman tucked under the arm of a man that looks like an older, albeit still handsome version of Dom.

“I am. This is my husband Nick. And I think you might be my favorite person ever,” she says, with the same easy smile her son so often wears. “Just as beautiful as the picture Dom sent us too.

“Of course he did. And thank you so much, but I can’t imagine what I’ve done to deserve the title.” The tension from my encounter with Jensen still lingers in my voice.

“Outside of baseball, I’m not sure my son has ever had to work quite as hard at anything as he has with you.”

“Someone has got to keep him on his toes,” his dad adds.

“So you’re happy that I made your son’s life more difficult?” Nervous laughter spills out of me.

“God, yes. Ever since he was little, things have come easy for him. When he met you, he had to work to keep your attention. If you have kids someday you’ll see it’s a balancing act. You want them to thrive, but not skate by. Earning the things we want only makes it that much sweeter.”

“This way. You never take for granted what you’ve had to fight for,” Nick adds, looking down at his wife.

I feel him behind me before I see him, and my body recoils against my will, still on edge from seeing Jensen. “You guys aren’t scaring her away, are you?” One hand gripping my hip, he leans around me, kissing his mom on the cheek. When Dom’s warm scent surrounds me I relax a fraction.

“No, we want to keep her,” Kelly says .

“I’m not going anywhere.” I lean back, and strong arms wrap around me. It’s comforting, calming, exactly what I needed.

“Where are the girls?” Dom asks, looking around the small room.

“Daelyn took Dottie to get ice cream across the street. I told them we’d meet them there,” his dad says.

“I could fuck around with some cookie dough ice cream. What about you, Firecracker?”

“Dessert before dinner. Why am I not surprised?”

“I am who I am,” he says, making everyone laugh. Yes, he is, and it’s one of my favorite things about him. “You guys go ahead. We’ll be right behind you,” Dom says to his parents. The rest of the guys have slowly joined us in the waiting area, but only Mia and Dean remain. Everyone else has already left.

“You ready for this?” he asks when his parents disappear. If Mia and Dean think he’s talking about anything other than dinner with his family, they don’t let on.

“Have a good night,” Mia says, leaning in to give me a hug while Dom and Dean bro hug at Dom’s insistence.

“Yeah, let’s get it over with,” I groan as he pulls a small cooler bag out of his backpack and leads me to a small privacy room opposite the locker room, closing the door behind us. Kneeling at my feet he grabs a little ice pack. “Hold this on your stomach for me.”

He’s so serious as he applies the sanitizer to his hands, then pulls out the powder and liquid he needs to mix together for the first shot and gets to work. With everything ready, his warm hand covers my cold one removing the ice pack. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking up at me before swiping the antiseptic pad over the injection site.

“I hate this one,” I grumble as he pinches the skin, injecting the medicine.

While I hold a piece of gauze over the injection site, he gets the next one ready. This one is easier on both of us. It’s a pen, so it’s less daunting and it hurts less.

When he’s done, he removes the tip and puts it in the sharps container before turning back to me and kissing my stomach like he does every time. The hardest part about these shots isn’t the pinch, it’s seeing him take it so hard. This man, who I pushed away for so long, earns a bigger piece of my heart with each injection. He’s made all of this just a little less daunting by taking care of me, bringing my shots, and just being him.

My throat grows tight, and I can feel the tears burning my eyes. The sudden swell of emotion that threatens to take me under has nothing to do with pain or the hormones. I get it. It took me a while, but I finally understand. Deep down, I think I knew all along that Dom was this good, this kind—made for me. He’s always known, and it seemed impossible—terrifying—that he had so much faith in us. When I kept pushing him away. Somehow he saw what I couldn’t and I’m so fucking thankful he never gave up, because I can’t imagine doing any of this without him.

Hand in hand, we walk out of the stadium and across the street to find the girls sharing a banana split. His parents each have their own ice cream cones. I half expected to find them sharing a malt with two straws.

Daelyn makes it her mission to embarrass Dom with childhood stories. And in true Dom fashion, none of it gets under his skin, but that doesn’t stop the two of us from laughing until my stomach hurts.

Dinner is more of the same, but this time it’s Dottie telling jokes that have the whole table struggling to breathe. Hours later, I’m dead on my feet when Dom and I walk back to the car to head home.

“I feel awful that they are staying in a hotel.”

“Don’t. I’m not mad about it and neither are they. After sharing you with them all night, I want you to myself.”

“Okay,” I say with a yawn, too tired to argue with him on this. This man has fought so hard for me it’s about time I just give him a break. “Take me home, Dom.”