Chapter 28 Indie

Chapter 28

Indie

Sobs shake my body against the cold tile of Dom’s shower. My meltdown started quiet enough that I thought a shower might calm me down. But it only escalated with each intrusive thought that assaulted me, bringing me to my knees. Dom, having to watch me go through cancer treatments, my dad and Poppy at my bedside, me surviving but something happening to one of them. All of this being for nothing because he walks away when he realizes I’m not worth the work.

I don’t hear him come in over the sound of the water and my sobs, but suddenly his arms are pulling me into his strong chest.

“Baby, look at me.” He takes my tear-streaked face in his hands, trying to tilt my chin up, but I don’t let him. I’m not ready.

Last night was everything. I went in with open eyes and no delusions about what was happening, but Dom doesn’t know what he’s signing up for and that’s not fair.

We spent hours talking that first night, he knows what losing my mom did to me. But he might not be prepared to do it himself. There’s this little voice inside my head saying that this all could be temporary, that I could be more than he bargained for. Maybe it’s that or my impending period, but I’m a fucking mess.

“Indie. I need you to tell me what’s going on. If you’re scared . . . or having regrets.” He flinches like those words physically hurt him and that’s what does me in because even though I fought this tooth and nail, the last thing I want is to hurt him. “Talk to me, please.”

“Nothing like that.” I sniffle, my hands smoothing over the gray Bandits shirt that’s now stuck to him. “Oh god, you need to get to the stadium.”

“I’m not leaving here until I know you’re okay. Please tell me why you’re so upset?” he begs, still cradling my face.

“This is not a short discussion, but remember when my doctor called the other day?”

“Yes,” he drags out, sounding weary of where this conversation is going.

“I’m okay,” I promise. “I’ve always said no to genetic testing, but I met someone at a support group my doctor recommended. It’s given me a new perspective. I’ve put it off for years, but I think I need to do it. That’s what started all this.” I wave to my sore, swollen face.

He pulls me from the floor and into his arms, ducking his head so he’s eye level with me. “But you’re okay?”

“Physically, yes. Mentally, I’m a wreck.”

“Nah, you’re perfect. But what do we need to do to get you out of here?” His lips find my forehead in a kiss that does more to chase away the tears than anything else I tried.

“Just conditioner.”

“Turn around and tilt your head back.” He spins me by my shoulders without waiting for a reply. “But I’m keeping my clothes on so we don’t get distracted before we finish this conversation.”

“You’re going to wash my hair?”

“Yep, and it’s going to be so amazing you’re never going to want to do it yourself again.”

As soon as his fingers sink into my hair working the product through, I know it’s the honest to god truth.

“What does this testing all entail?” he asks, focusing his attention on the base of my skull, rubbing circles with his thumbs as he massages the product into my hair.

“The testing itself is simple. After the consultation to talk through family medical history and testing limitations, it’s really just a blood test. A potentially life-altering blood test, but it’s not physically invasive.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“Excuse me?” I turn so fast I slip on the wet floor and almost take both of us out, but when I see the steely look on his face, I know the fit I was about to pitch is pointless. To most people he might be the happy-go-lucky centerfielder for the Bandits, but he’s shown me another side, one that feels like it’s only for me—thoughtful, protective, reliable. I’ve got the best of both worlds.

Closing my eyes I suck in a deep breath. I want him there, but pushing him away is second nature at this point. “What if you’re on the road?”

“I’d really appreciate it if you make it for when I’m not, but I’ll be there either way.” He steps into my space, backing me against the wall.

“Why?”

“Because this is important, and I want to support you.”

“Okay.”

“I like it when you’re agreeable. Now rinse.” He steers me back under the water.

“I’m going to get out and change. Finish up and we can talk while you drink your coffee.”

When I get out, we go over his schedule for the next two weeks and pick a couple times that work for both of us before he leaves.