29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

ROSE

Eleven minutes.

In mere moments, Chaos will die. The mighty, colossal, beautiful God of all existence will cease to be. I'm choking on the shattered pieces of my heart, knowing I'll never feel whole again. It feels like the end of a story I've only begun to crack open.

It isn't supposed to be like this.

My chest is a cavern, hollow, but heavy, so very heavy as I keen against my soul bond's throat. I feel stripped bare, exposed, a raw wound throbbing with unbearable pain.

Who do I pray to and bargain with when the god himself is the one who will die? I'd give up all my feathers, make any bargain, raze any realm, if it meant I could save him.

My other mates sit near us, lending their support so he knows his family is with him. How is it that I am so very loved, but feel so very alone right now?

Theo's hand lays gently against my back, his cheeks wet with tears. Kieran's thousand-yard-stare tells me he's probably reliving some of his darkest moments. Mekhi, too. Deakan rocks next to me, knees tucked to his chin. Jax's eyes are filled with unshed tears, burning bright as embers. My pain is their pain.

It cleaves my chest.

I can't wish it away, beat it into submission, or duel it. There is no reasoning with death this time. No last-ditch efforts to pull him back from the brink. Where does a god go when he's done?

Will I see him in the stars?

Feel him press warm lips to my skin in my dreams?

Hear his laughter in the rustle of leaves, his voice echo in a gust of wind? Will he be in every thunderstorm, every lightning strike that rends the sky?

Utterly lost. There is nothing that can bring me back from this. Let the icy wings that batter the frostwillows surrounding us batter my body, because without him, there's nothing left of me to give. I will be shattered to the granules of sand that sift through the hourglass when his stops trickling through. Eons of life, and my recklessness will cost us everything.

My heart screams in protest, the pain just as real as a physical blow to my chest.

My sobs remain shallow as I listen for the stillness. For the quiet I know will come. I feel the tremors in his body, the strained rise and fall of his chest as he tries to hold on. Warm fingers tangle with mine, his grip still trying to give me comfort even though he's hurting right now.

He doesn't say it out loud. But I hear it in the quiet rasp of his voice as he tells me he loves me. That he wishes we'd have more time. Eons to learn, and love, and grow together. I didn't know it was going to be like this. The pain.

The agony. The feeling of loss before the loss has come. I've found solace in darkness often, but now the shadows seem to bleed into my soul, stripping away the little light left within me. Every tick of the clock, every slow and painful breath he draws in is a death stroke to my heart.

Like an icy bath, I'm filled with a sense of dread, deep and biting, as the seconds tick away.

It's not fair that this giant of a fae spent entire lifetimes alone, only to find his soul bond and lose me in the same year.

His voice is a whisper against my temple. "My soul," he murmurs. "Don't cry for me." He places a shaky hand on my face, fingers tracing the rivers of teardrops.

"You can't ask that of me." I sob. His eyes, once a golden green, have turned a pale yellow as his magic wanes. But they're still beautiful, still holding the warmth that drew me to him in the first place. "I will never, ever forget you," I vow, gripping his hand against my face. "Every second of every day."

"Remember me as I was, not as I am now."

My heart shatters, fragments of it scattering across the ethereal plane. "Always," I promise him, my voice hoarse from crying and repressed terror.

His lips press to my temple. They're warm, carrying the last vestiges of his magic.

Nymia's sharp words reach me first before I feel a tremor in the air. "Get up, girl, they're here!"

I turn sharply, my heart thundering.

The sight that greets me is one I prayed for. Bennett. I let out a startled sob as I climb to my feet, stumbling towards the gaping portal and the people running through it. My brother is the first I see, tall and built, his mop of dark curly hair more disheveled than usual thanks to the portal's wind. As expected, Lopey is here, too.

Pint-sized Penelope.

My eyes widen, my breath catching in my throat as I spot Nova, followed by another fae. Her presence here is a shock. My little sister? Here? The question whirls in my mind, disbelief mingling with a surge of relief and confusion. And trailing behind them?

Six humans, led by an old, wiry woman with eyes sharp as flint. Each human looks weary, their faces etched with lines of fatigue and eyes haunted by memories of captivity. Two silver-haired elderly women stand with wary expressions, flanking a group of muscular men, though they're all more than a little gaunt. They look around, bewildered by the otherworldly beauty and strangeness of our surroundings, yet there's a braveness in their stance.

Survivors. That's who these people are. Men and women who've endured horrors and lived to tell the tales.

A red-headed man stands at the edge of the group, his eyes darting around with cautious intent. His hair, a mix of brown and red, glints in the sunlight like a beacon, making him stand out among the others. However, as soon as he spots Kieran's familiar face, his shoulders visibly relax, and a small smile touches his lips. A tiny nod of his head at my mate later, and he's striding our way.

This must be Callum. The other humans take notice of their interaction and follow suit, letting down their guards and allowing a sense of ease to settle over the group.

"Rose." Bennett's voice is a soft call, pulling me from my observations. He stands beside the humans, his expression tight with controlled urgency as he takes in my face, which is no doubt puffy and streaked with tears. "What do you need us to do?"

I glance behind me at the floating apparition.

Nymia moves forward, her words quick as she gestures for us to move. "Each of you who are ascending needs to hold hands with one human, and form a circle," she declares, her eyes scanning the group. "As soon as you link, it begins. The tether will be painful for the fae only, but it's necessary. Humans, you might feel a slight vibration, but other than that, you have no need to worry." She inclines her head at my mates. "Focus on your bond, on your future with Rose, and let that guide you through the pain. And you." She turns her piercing gaze towards Bennett before landing on Chaos. "Feed her happy thoughts through your connection."

I take a shaky breath, glancing at Chaos who manages a weak nod, his face ashen, his presence fading like the last light of day. My heart clenches, a wild bird trapped in a cage, as I look upon the pale shadow of my soul bond, his once vibrant energy dwindling into a mere whisper. A desperate fear claws at my chest, threatening to consume me. I can't lose him. Not now, not after everything.

Quickly, we position ourselves, each mate taking a step towards a designated human. I stand before Callum, whose build is strong, but still no match for my fae one. His hands are rough, marked by life's hard labors, yet they hold mine with a gentleness that contradicts his strength.

"‘Tis alright, lass," Callum says, his Scottish brogue thick and somehow reassuring. "I won't bite. You hold on as tight as you need to, I can take it."

The pain hits like a tidal wave as our hands touch, a searing burn that travels through every vein, every fiber of my being. It's an agony so profound that my vision blurs, and for a moment, I fear I'll lose consciousness. My body convulses as the red-hot embers spread like wildfire, scorching everything in its path.

Agonized sobs ring out from around me as my mates are brought to their knees, their humans unable to hold up their substantial weight. Callum's strong hands form a death grip on mine as he struggles to keep me upright. Shrieks tear out of my throat, the pain scouring my insides as a metallic tang coats my tongue.

Blood pours from my eyes, my nose, my mouth, trickling down in a crimson stream that stains the snow beneath me. I can hear the gasps of horror from the humans around us, punctuated by the screams of my mates. Their voices are distant, warped by the agony searing our bodies.

But then, there's warmth that kindles in my head. Not the fire-hot kind of heat, but a whisper of peace.

You're going to be powerful as fuck, sis. Maybe even as powerful as me.

A choked laugh bursts out of me despite the torment that wracks my body, Bennett's voice a welcome light in this maddening darkness. His words ring like a mantra in my head, a needed distraction from the gnawing pain. I can picture his confident smirk, the glint of amusement in his eyes, as clearly as if he were the one standing in front of me and not Callum.

Just imagine it. Anyone fucks with your mates now, and you can squash them.

That does offer a semblance of comfort. But it's a fleeting relief.

The pain roars back, devouring the tranquility that his words had given me. It feels as if I'm being shattered, split open from the inside out, fractured into a thousand pieces. I can feel my consciousness slipping away, the world blurring at the edges and then dissolving into black.

Gold and silver flames wrap around my feet, chasing away the dark. They trail higher and higher like silken threads until they've spun a barrier between the pain and me. Green threads, like vines, intertwine with them, providing a living link to the earth beneath us. Crimson and deep blue streaks flash, mingling with earthy brown, as Jax, Mekhi, and Deakan join the fray. Their magical energies pulse with vibrant colors, each one adding strength to our collective shield.

I clench my free fist, the pain so sharp it feels like my skin could tear from the force of it, but Callum's presence grounds me. My hand warms, where I'm clinging desperately to his, a spreading glow starts at our joined hands and slowly infiltrates the cold place of pain. Images of hope flash before my eyes—laughing with Chaos in the golden light of dawn, exploring new realms, nights spent wrapped in the love and laughter of my mates, potential children playing at our feet.

"Our future," I gasp, the words a plea, a command, as much to myself as to my mates. The pain slices deeper, a white-hot knife carving paths through my insides, but I cling to the images of a life beyond this moment—of children's laughter echoing through our halls, of lazy mornings spent in bed, of challenges met and overcome together.

A sudden burst of laughter—rich and deep—cuts through the agony. It's Theo, his tears of pain mixed with a smile so broad it transforms his entire face. "Thinking of them already, aren't you?" he manages between gasps.

Mekhi's cry, half filled with pain, half laughter, calls out, "Our kids will never believe this story."

Their words, their presence, it bolsters me. "Hold on," I shout, my voice breaking but strong. "We're almost there!"

The circle tightens, our holds solid despite the tremors that shake us. The humans, anchored by their sheer will to help, stand like sentinels among us.

As the minutes drag on, the pain builds to an unbearable pitch. My vision dims, the edges of my consciousness fraying as the physical torment threatens to pull me under.

Just when I think I can't bear it any longer, the pain ebbs slightly. A fleeting moment of reprieve, a chance to gather my strength. The shield pulses once more, brighter this time, and I feel a shift in the energy around us. The pain comes back in full force.

Cutting through the roar of agony in my mind comes a quiet voice so unmistakably his.

You should see yourself right now, my soul.

I cry out, Soul bond.

His voice slices through the darkness that's rattling my senses and threatening to consume me whole. He's still here with me, still fighting, not yet gone. It's barely a broken whisper, as though penetrating the noise on a tiny puff of smoke.

I'm sorry we couldn't have more time, my soul. Let no sorrow linger where we danced in the light of stars—only beauty, only love.

Chaos! We're almost done, please, please, please don't leave me!

I love you. He's quiet for a long time before I hear the faintest of whispers against my mind. Thank you for loving me.

I love you, Chaos, we're almost there, please hang on! Do you hear me? Gods dammit, I love you! You can't leave me!

I can almost feel the ghost of a hand caress my face, and then there's silence.

Complete and utter silence.

A primal scream tears from my throat as I feel the final echo of his life force flicker out, like a dying star collapsing on itself and his presence fading away.

Like a vacuum, an aching void where his love used to flood.

I collapse to my knees, my body no longer ravaged by the pain of ascension.

But I bleed, not in body but by my guttural sobs rending the air. I don't register the freezing ground under my palms, nor the hands that try to comfort me as I wail.

My world shatters, like a porcelain doll thrown against a stone wall. Splintered shards of my existence scatter to the wind as the world spins, as if his departure has thrown the whole universe off its axis.

He's gone.

My soul is gone. And with him, every ounce of light and hope in my universe has been snuffed out.

Strip me of everything I am. Take my titles. My land. Every possession I own.

But do not take my mate. Do not take the gentle hum of my existence, the heartbeat of my being.

Someone pulls me into their lap, but I'm too far gone to register who. Only that someone is rocking me now, whispering words of comfort in my ear.

Every cell in my body aches for Chaos, keening his name against one of my mate's chests as he rocks me.

I will never recover from this.

I can take physical pain, but this? I cannot.

I want to die.