1. Chapter One

ROSE

Kieran's moody bedroom crackles with power as I heave his limp body onto my shoulder, his weight a substantial reminder of the solemn vow I've just uttered. "I'm going to bring you back, Kieran, no matter the cost. I won't let you slip away from me forever. I promise." These words, freshly imprinted in my thoughts, drive my purposeful steps through the winding halls of our home.

In the fae world, breaking a promise means certain death. They aren't made lightly. But for this beautiful, broken serpent fae, I'd do it a thousand times over. I can't bear the thought of losing him now, not after all we've been through together. Not after he's wiggled his way under my skin and into my heart.

If he dies, I'll die, too.

It's the least I deserve.

The walls of our cave home seem to close in on me, their shadows stretching like fingers trying to pull us back into the darkness. But I can't afford to break, not even for a second.

Fueled by pure adrenaline, I hoist his body higher and push forward through our deep caverns on the outskirts of the jungle, clinging to the hope that Chaos, the god who claims to be my soul bond, will broker a deal with me. Up until today, I thought he was just our powerful, gorgeous dean.

Not the all-mighty God of gods.

But this works out in my favor, because if he thinks I'm his soul bonded mate, then he's got to be willing to make a fae deal with me. Especially if it means he can have me exactly where he wants me: the veil. With him.

The war my parents started took everything from Kieran. And still, he found it in his shattered heart to fall in love with me. He opened up to me, baring his soul. Begging to be loved. But I was paralyzed by my own fears and insecurities.

Because I'm a fucking coward.

Regret is a poison seeping into my chest, much like the Abyssal's Embrace that's trying to lay claim to the fae I'm hauling through the tunnels. "I'm so kicking your ass for this," I grumble, blinking back my tears as I come upon the giant wooden door leading to the main part of the house. My muscles ache and scream in protest, but I push through, stumbling through the entrance, across the living room, and out the front door.

With my arms banded across the back of Kieran's thighs, I focus my eyes on the giant palm trees, frantically scanning them for the only one who can help me in this moment.

The first light of dawn paints the sky in hues of pink and orange, and it's too cheery for the panic gripping me. My heart roars in my chest, a frantic drumbeat against my racing thoughts, a death march too fast for the somber reality we're hurtling towards, each beat a countdown to a fate I'm desperate to rewrite.

It's one thing to be high Princess of the Fae. But ascension? What am I doing? I don't have what it takes to be a goddess. But the alternative, a world without Kieran, is unthinkable. My heart and my head are at war, tearing me apart from the inside out.

I race down the dew-lined garden to where I last saw Chaos take flight as a crow. My breath comes in short, sharp gasps as I spin around, eyes trained to the sky. He's always watching me, so where the fuck is he when I need him?

"Chaos!" I scream, throwing as much power as I can behind my voice.

The cool morning air bites at my skin, but I barely feel it. All I can think of is Kieran, his pale face haunting my every step. I lower him to the ground and feel for a pulse. It's so faint, it's barely a flutter of a fae fly.

A dark fringe of lashes rest against his cheeks, and his pierced lips are a ghastly shade of blue, making my heart shatter. His broad, shirt-clad chest barely moves, the rhythm of his breath faltering and weak. I brush a few strands of dark hair away from his forehead, the silky texture at odds with the vitality that once resided within him.

Jax and Deakan would be devastated to see him like this. They've been best friends since birth. I can sense their panic through our mating bond, as they frantically search for me after my disappearance following my victory as Arcane Scholar. I've been gone all night.

"Chaos!" I shout behind me into the trees, my entire body glowing an intense, ethereal blue as I channel every ounce of my Luna fae magic into Kieran's still form. The luminescent hue pulses in rhythm with my desperate incantations.

A sudden memory crashes into me. My twin brother's eyes, wide with fear as he tackles me out of the way as a giant boulder hurtles toward us. The sickening thud, the dust rising, and then … his lifeless body under the massive rock. My feral screams echo in my ears, the hopeless agony of trying to push the boulder, to heal him, to bring back the other half of my soul.

Tears blur my vision as the past and present merge, the shadow of that old terror gripping my heart. "Not again," I whisper raggedly, the words a plea to the universe. I can't endure the same anguish, the same helplessness I felt with Bennett.

This time, I have to be enough.

"Chaos!" I sob, willing Kieran to open his green eyes, to smirk at me, to do something other than lay here, a ghost of his former self.

With a swift tug, I straddle his hips so I can rip his shirt off, my hands pressing against his clammy skin. A canvas of ink covers him, each tattoo telling its own story of heartbreak, of beauty, and of power. Bright, bold roses bloom across his chest, their thorny stems absent. Coiling serpents snake along his arms, their scales glistening in the nascent dawn. Names are etched into his skin, a tribute to his parents. And amidst it all, chaotic scribbles give way to a glimpse into the wild and untamed nature of this man.

I haul Kieran against my chest, trying to get as much skin contact as I can as I cry against his neck.

"Miss me already?" A deep voice teases from behind me. "Is this an offering, my goddess? You really shouldn't have. They frown upon that nowadays, though I must say, I'm delighted."

Relieved tears pour down my cheeks as I turn to face the voice's owner, already aware of his identity due to the immense power thrumming through the garden. Chaos stands beside me, his presence commanding, even amid my distress.

This is the kind of power I need to save Kieran. All-consuming, all-powerful. So thick I could choke on it if it didn't seem to bow to my own magic. Not in deference, but as though it recognizes and worships my own.

"Chaos." My voice cracks as I pour everything I have into the fae beneath me.

The god's features soften as he takes in my state of grief. I search his eyes—so much gold in them they might not even hold any green right now.

He must help me. I'll bargain anything for it, but I already know the one thing he wants most, and I'm prepared to give it to him. Anything for Kieran.

When my brain catches up with his words, I have to shake my head to refocus. "No! I need you to heal him."

Dark hair falls across his tanned forehead as he huffs in amusement. He crouches beside us, his overwhelming power caressing mine rather than strangling it. "No. This is the little prick who kept picking fights with you, who relished in your pain." His eyes gleam with sadistic pleasure as he revels in his control over the situation. "I want to watch him suffer as he passes to Aggonid's realm. Agony and torment await him for eternity, and after what his grandmother also put you through, I'm not certain it'll be long enough."

I gasp at his harsh words. "I'll never come to the veil with you if you don't save him."

He trains his eyes back on me, their now brassy green hue mesmerizing me despite my efforts to rage at him. "Why do you want this little worm to live?"

"Because I love him!" I cry out, tears stinging my eyes.

His lips curl into a sneer. "But you have so many mates already. I won't enjoy sharing you."

His possessiveness tugs at me, but I veil my reaction with defiance. "Who said anything about you sharing me?"

He chuckles darkly. "Come now, Rose. You're smarter than that. We're soul bonded."

"I have a soul bond," I grit out through clenched teeth.

He leans in closer, his breath hot against my face, the scent sweet, like mulled spice. The dark twist of his lips sends a shiver through me as he grins. "Two."

"I'll sever it."

An intense aura of raw power radiates from him, an overpowering force that shakes the very ground beneath our feet and bends the trees around us. "You won't," he growls, the venom in his voice dripping like poison.

"I will," I force out, my teeth clamped together. I cradle Kieran's head in mine, trying to massage his cheeks with my thumbs to get him to wake. He's a dead weight in my arms. I whimper, an ache splintering in my chest as I try in vain to rouse him.

"No, you won't," Chaos sneers, settling onto the ground with a thud. His long legs stretch out before him as he props himself up with his hands.

My head whips his way and my voice trembles with rage. "I'll sever it?—"

"—and all your other bonds as a result." He cuts me off with a triumphant grin.

"What?" I gasp.

"If you sever a soul bond, it wipes out all bonds also in place, and you can't ever get them back. Except mine, of course. So, feel free." He shrugs. "It pays to be a god."

My muscles lose out to fatigue as I lower Kieran back to the ground and massage his chest. "If you think for a moment, I'll tie myself to someone who'd willingly break his soul bond's heart by letting the fae she loves die, you're more delusional than I thought. I'll never forgive you for this."

His eyes soften, and his attention tracks to where I'm pressing my hands to Kieran's chest, my power just enough to keep the breath in his lungs but not enough to bring him back from the brink. My reserves are waning. Maybe if the moons were out, I could do it.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he whispers, his hand coming to rest on my cheek. His touch is like a gentle pressure, but it's also a small flame burning against my skin. My initial urge is to shove him away from me, scream at him in fury, but I can't bring myself to do it. My body betrays me. It's as if every muscle in my body is frozen, incapable of moving against his touch, even in my anger. His hand, massive and comforting, lingers against my face like a protective shield. "I'll do this because you love him, not so you'll come to the veil with me."

My breathing stutters. "You won't require me to come to the veil?"

Heartbreak shadows his eyes. "No. But I hope in time, I'll be able to win your heart and you'll want to come there, anyway."

I swallow hard, ignoring the lump forming in my throat. "Do it then." I turn my attention to where my hands clutch Kieran's smooth chest. My eyes track up to his pale face, and a sharp pang of fear grips me tighter.

Chaos sweeps my hair off my shoulder, sending an involuntary ripple down my spine. His hand cups the back of my neck, his fingers exerting a gentle pressure against my chin to turn my head towards his. My heart races in confusion as he leans in closer.

"What are you?—"

"We haven't solidified our bond yet, so I need to kiss you to make this work."

"What?" I sputter, another involuntary something happening between my thighs at the thought. "You're Chaos. The God of all gods. I'm not kissing you when you can heal him without it."

He chuckles, and his warm laugh vibrates through me. "I'm not asking to activate our bond now, though if you'd like, we can." His eyes go half-lidded. "I can do many things, but to save a life that has been steeped in death requires more than just power. It requires connection. I told you my magic is out of balance as I've been alone for eons. Just being in your orbit has already strengthened it. A kiss will allow our connection to grow, and with it, my power to save your lover."

"He's not my lover," I whisper.

"Not yet," Chaos replies with a heavy sigh. His lips curl into a knowing smirk as he gazes at me, his eyes filled with dark desire. "But soon." My breath catches in my throat, and he smirks. "What'll it be? His soul has already left his body."

"What?" I cry, turning my attention back to Kieran's lifeless form next to me. His chest doesn't rise. His pulse doesn't flicker. "Do it already," I shriek, practically throwing myself at Chaos.

I don't have time to feel shame. Nor to feel any guilt—Jax and Deakan will never be angry with me for saving their best friend. I'd like to think that Theo and Mekhi will be understanding, too, though they may hold more reservations.

He cups both of my cheeks, his palms engulfing them as he slams his lips to mine. As our mouths meet, my entire body begins to tremble with an electric energy, like a fire spreading throughout every inch of me.

An awakening.

It's everything, this feeling.

My eyes flutter shut, overwhelmed by the surge of magic emanating from within me, its glow intensifying to a blinding brightness I've never experienced before.

Euphoria, power, and soul-searing lust blaze through me as his tongue meets mine. My heart hammers in my chest, pounding out a rhythm that matches the charge of magic as it courses between us, consuming everything.

He groans into my mouth, the sound a primal rumble vibrating against my chest. His hands slide down to my waist, pulling me tightly against him as our connection deepens, threading us together with invisible strands of power. Our kiss ignites, his tongue entwining with mine in an intimate dance. The taste of him is intoxicating, like the essence of pure chaos, power, and love. The kind that alters the mind and consumes the soul.

Slowly, reluctantly, he pulls away. "This … this is only the beginning, my goddess," he whispers against my lips.

I jerk back, holding my fingers to my mouth, the warm feel of his body against mine causing my face to heat in shame.

"No more waiting," I manage to gasp out, my skin still thrumming with the power of his magic. "Please, save him now."

He releases me then, his hands trailing down my face, lingering before falling away completely. His eyes, swirling pools of gold and emeralds, watch me intently as he nods, acquiescing to my desperate request.

Without turning away from me, he grabs my hand, his touch still electrifying every nerve within me as he guides our conjoined hands to rest over Kieran's chest.

"Close your eyes," he murmurs, his voice echoing in the stillness of the garden. "And let your magic flow."

Obediently, I close my eyes and take a deep inhale, focusing on the dull glow of Kieran's life force beneath my hand.

I feel Chaos' energy mingling with mine, a well of power that's both alien and intimately familiar, as though we are one. His presence envelops me, a shelter of warmth and strength, urging my magic to respond. The boundary between where his power ends and mine begins blurs, melding into a balanced, endless pool of energy.

Under our joined hands, Kieran's chest begins to rise and fall, each breath proof of the miracle unfolding. I can sense the life force returning to him, a gentle flicker at first, then growing steadily stronger, like a flame being coaxed back to life.

Chaos' voice, deep and resonant, guides me through the process. "Focus on your love for him, let it be the anchor," he instructs, his breath a warm caress against my ear.

I nod slightly, my thoughts centering on Kieran, on all the moments that made me fall hopelessly in love with him. His laughter, the way every interaction we have is charged with something more, his talent, the way he always looked at me as if I were the only person in the world.

How he bared his soul to me.

As I concentrate, a vivid image of Kieran's smirking face fills my mind, and with it, a surge of emotion so powerful it nearly overwhelms me. It's a torrent of love, fear, hope, and desperation, all melding into a potent force that drives my magic.

Kieran's body convulses under our touch, a sign of life returning. And I can feel his breaths becoming deeper, more regular.

Chaos whispers, "Open your eyes."

I do, and the sight that greets me is one of pure relief. The blue tinge on his lips fades, giving way to the natural color of life.

Kieran's eyes flutter open, confusion and pain clouding them for a moment before they focus on me. "Rose?" he murmurs weakly.

As though he can only see me.

Tears of relief and joy spill over my cheeks as I nod, unable to form words. "You're okay," is all I manage, my voice choked with emotion.

"He'll probably be sleepy the next several days. Let him sleep it off. His short time in Aggonid's realm will be a heavy burden to bear." Chaos stands, his job done, yet his gaze lingers on me, a complex range of emotions playing across his face. "Don't squander love. You don't know how hard some work to cherish it."

As he turns to leave, I call out, "Chaos, wait."

He pauses, looking back with an expression that's unreadable.

"Thank you," I say, sincerity coloring my voice. "This means everything to me." And it does.

I will never forget what he's done for me.

He nods, a hint of a melancholy smile tugging at his lips. "I'll be watching, my goddess. Remember, our story isn't over."

With that, he transforms into his crow form and takes flight, leaving me with a revived Kieran and a heart full of turbulent emotions. This encounter with Chaos has changed something fundamental within me, something I can't quite comprehend yet. But for now, all that matters is Kieran's gentle grip on my hand, his life saved.

I lean down, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "Rest now," I whisper. "You're safe."

It takes little to coax him to sleep as I prop myself up, shading his body from the sun, the gentle melody from the fountain soothing my racing heart. His head rests in my lap as I brush the raven hair out of his face.

The adrenaline crash is bound to hit soon, and I should get him inside. But I can't seem to move now that my power reserves have depleted.

As Kieran's breaths even out in sleep, the calm of the garden is suddenly pierced by distant shouts. My heart lurches into my throat as I recognize the voices of my mates, their calls filled with terror. No doubt they felt the soul-consuming panic through our bond. The sound of their footsteps crashing through the jungle grows louder as they near the clearing.

Dread knots in my stomach. How do I explain what just happened? How do I justify the kiss with Chaos, even if it was to save Kieran? The guilt gnaws at me, an unwelcome intruder in this moment of relief. I glance down at Kieran, his peaceful face so at odds with the pandemonium running through my head.

Their voices grow clearer, their calls more distinct. "Rose!" Jax's shout echoes through the trees, tinged with desperation. "Rose, where are you?"

The guilt is like a weight pulling me down. In a few moments, they'll burst into the clearing, and I'll have to face them. Confront the consequences of my actions. I'm not ready to see the hurt in their eyes, not ready to wrestle with the reality of what I've done, even if it was for love.

My hands tremble as I absently stroke Kieran's head and turn to face the direction of the voices. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my heart, to prepare myself for what's to come.

The sound of their frantic approach grows louder, concern and fear pulsing through our bond like a river raging through a canyon. Any second now, they'll be here, and I'll have to look them in the eye. To explain. To confess.