Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Jude bolted awake to the sound of someone pounding on his door. He surged to his feet, halfway to the door before he registered that he’d been asleep in the first place. What time is it? He checked the peep hole, frowned, and shoved his gun into the nearest drawer before opening the door. “Sloan? What are you doing here?” How long had he slept? The last thing he remembered was showering and sitting on the couch to figure out his next step.

Can’t believe I fell asleep.

“Jude, thank God.” She rushed inside and stopped short, as if realizing that it might be rude to charge in uninvited. She raised shaking hands to tuck her hair behind her ears, and only then did he notice how pale she was.

He glanced outside, noting that she’d come to the street-side entrance, rather than up from the beach, and shut the door. “You look…” Fucking terrified.

He went to her before he could think better of it, pulling her into his arms. Shivers racked her body, and her breath came too fast, as if she’d just sprinted here. He hesitated and then smoothed back her hair. The move seemed to calm her a little, so he did it again. “What happened?”

“It’s silly.” She buried her head in his chest, which made it impossible to gauge her expression.

“‘Silly’ isn’t a word I’d use to describe you. Tell me.”

She took a shuddering breath, held it for exactly three seconds, and exhaled. “I was walking back from the little pub in the middle of town. I didn’t realize how dark the streets would be, and I spooked myself. That’s all. It’s nothing.”

It didn’t sound like nothing. Sloan might be edgy around him, but he’d observed her enough to know that she didn’t jump at shadows. All he knew was that something had scared the living daylights out of her, and she’d just run some distance to come to his door. It would have taken her a grand total of five seconds to reach the O’Connor house and bar herself inside, but she hadn’t done that.

She wants me to protect her.

The thought staggered him. He held her closer without meaning to. No one came to him for protection. They feared him, even if they weren’t able to put a name to their fear until he stood before them, their death in his eyes. He stalked, hunted, killed, leaving destruction in his wake.

He didn’t protect.

But he suddenly wanted to make an exception for this woman. She was so small in his arms, her strength gone in an instant, her body shaking even as she tried to calm herself. He wanted to stand between her and the world, to fight whatever demons plagued her.

Jude almost snorted. That wasn’t who he was. That wasn’t what he did. He might forget that from time to time when he was around Sloan, but that didn’t change his reality.

He still wasn’t going to make her leave while she was terrified.

He guided her over to the couch and sat down, taking her with him. She curled her legs up, fitting in his lap with laughable ease. They sat like that for a long time. Jude didn’t know what to say. He wanted to know what really set her off, but she obviously didn’t want to talk about it. Fuck, he wanted to know a whole lot when it came to Sloan, but she wasn’t the sharing type.

“I was so angry at you today.” She spoke so softly, he thought he’d imagined it until she raised her head and looked at him. Sloan sighed. “It seems rather petty right now, though.”

He’d known she was pissed. He’d done it on purpose. “I don’t lie, not when it comes to sex.” Only everything else. “If you go and get your heart broken, it won’t be because I filled your head with false promises.”

She blinked and then laughed, the sound harsh. “Oh my God, could you be any more arrogant? If you remember, I am the one who invited you in last night. Yes, I invited you to stay, but I’m prepared to chalk that up to temporary insanity. I like how you make my body feel—that’s the sum of it. I’m not ready to date anyone right now, and even if I was, I certainly wouldn’t date you.”

That should reassure him. It was exactly what he wanted, after all.

Instead, it made him fucking furious.

He glared at her, half-surprised when she glared right back. Sloan shook her head. “Coming here was a mistake.” She started to get up, but he hooked the band of her yoga pants and pulled her down. She ended up straddling him with a hiss of fury. “I dislike you intensely.”

“No, you don’t.” He palmed her ass, sliding her forward so she rode the ridge of his cock. “You dislike feeling out of control. Guess what, sunshine. You don’t get control when it comes to fucking me.”

Her nipples pebbled, showing through her thin tank top. They teased him even as she put her hands on his chest, her fingers kneading him and making him think of a kitten who had just discovered her claws. “And if I want control?”

“You don’t.” He wrapped one arm around her waist and used his free hand to palm her over her pants. “I’ve barely touched you and you’re so fucking wet, you’re practically panting for me.”

“You are insufferable.” But she rolled her hips, rubbing herself against his hand. “I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not. You’re going to stay here and let me lick that pretty pussy of yours until you come.” He lightly pinched her clit through the fabric, watching her face. She liked the slightest bit of pain, if the way her eyes went heavy lidded was anything to go by. “And then I’m going to bend you over this couch and take what’s mine.” Until you forget why you were frightened in the first place tonight.

He wanted to hear her say yes. For all his pushing her, if she actually wanted to leave, he wasn’t about to stop her. She wanted him to push her, to corner her, to let her pretend she wasn’t making this decision every step of the way. Fuck that. He gripped her hips, lifting her and standing her on her feet. She blinked, obviously confused. “I thought…”

Jude unbuttoned his jeans, drawing the zipper down, his gaze never leaving hers. “You thought I’d take what we both know you want to give me? Newsflash, sunshine—I might get off on the lady protesting too much, but that only goes so far. We both know you want to be here the same way you wanted me there last night, even if your pride is still pissed that I left instead of cuddling you like some soft-hearted asshole.

“You want to leave, leave. I’m not going to chase you down and club you over the head, no matter how much I want you.”

She swayed a little. “That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is how goddamn hard I am for you. I watched your little yoga show this afternoon—don’t even pretend you didn’t know because I saw you shooting looks this way. Seeing that pert little ass of yours in the air, like you were offering yourself to me, and not being able to take what I wanted?” He grabbed her hand and pressed it against his cock. “I’ve been like this for hours. Because of you.”

“Because of me?” She didn’t take her hand away even after he let her go.

“Don’t play coy. It doesn’t suit you. You know you drove me crazy. I wanted to tell the blonde to get lost and play with you right there. How long do you think you could hold downward dog with my mouth on your pussy?”

Her whole body shivered, her hand clenching around his cock. Sloan’s brows slanted down. “You’re doing it again. That thing where I should slap you across your face for talking to me the way you do.”

“Do it.” Jude took her free hand and set it against his cheek. “But whatever you’re going to do, if you’re not leaving, then get those fucking pants off. I’m starving for you.” He flashed her a grin, even though he didn’t feel the least bit amused. “If it will make you feel better, you can pretend you don’t have a choice in the matter, but we both know that’s a fucking lie. You want me as much as I want you.”

*  *  *

Sloan almost gave in. With his length in her hand and his whiskers scraping against her other palm, she already ached in a way she was coming to fear only he could assuage. The things Jude did to her made her weak in the knees, and with him challenging her with his dark chocolate eyes, she wanted nothing more than to climb into his lap and let him chase away the last of the fear clinging to her.

But she hadn’t left her entire life behind to hand over what little freedom she had to another man.

She took one step back, and then another. “You’re wrong. I don’t want to give up control.”

“If you say so.” His tone told her exactly what he thought. That she was biddable. A sure thing. Meek. Everything that Sloan used to be.

She wasn’t that woman anymore. She refused to be.

So she took another step back. The way he eyed the distance between them made her body spark, as if he’d cross it in a bound and take her to the floor. She wanted him to…but it wouldn’t solve anything and, when they were done, she’d still be left with a different kind of ache. One he’d told her multiple times that he couldn’t—wouldn’t—be responsible for.

She reached the front door, hesitating. Even though the feeling of danger had passed, the thought of going back to her empty house left her cold. Or perhaps that was the fact that she’d put half a house between her and Jude and, without the warmth of his big hands on her, the entire world seemed a little bit colder. She clutched the doorknob, her heart beating too fast. Lay the terms out. You don’t want this to end, but he can’t run the whole show. You can’t let it happen like that.

Sloan lifted her chin, faking a confidence she didn’t feel in the least. “I want you, that much is true.”

“I know.”

She ignored him. “But even if this is temporary, I want it on my terms.”

Jude went still, completely unbothered by the fact that he was exposed to her. “I’m listening.”

The only way you can get what you want is to say it. She bit her lip and then charged on. “If you’re sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping with me. I don’t care if you aren’t a fan of cuddling. It’s something I require to continue this thing.”

He raised a single eyebrow. “You want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear while you’re at it?”

“I think we can both agree that’s not how you operate.” She didn’t want the lie of sweet nothings, but she’d take the lie of his big body in bed next to hers.

Maybe it would make her feel a little less alone.

He buttoned his pants with careless efficiency. “I don’t sleep.”

Her earlier anger flared. “Then lie there and count sheep for all I care. If I’m yours for the time being, then you see to all needs of the physical nature—for me, that includes sleeping.” She couldn’t believe she was pushing this. It would be so much smarter to retreat back to the safety of her home. Lonely, yes. But at least no one could hurt her there. She was opening herself up for rejection and potentially worse when Jude shot her down.

But he didn’t say anything, just continued watching her with a strange look on his face. “This will only end in tears for you. You want things I’m not capable of giving, even if I was staying in Callaway Rock.”

Her heart gave a pang, but she ignored it the same way she’d been ignoring it for her entire life. “You seem to think I haven’t shed more than my fair share of tears, Jude. What are a few more?” She took a careful breath. “Those are my terms. Take them or leave them.”

And then he was towering over her, his hand sifting through her hair to tug her head back so she looked him directly in the eye. “I’m taking them, sunshine. More importantly, I’m taking you.”

His thumb traced her jaw, unspeakably tender, but then his eyes went hard, making the bottom of her stomach drop in a way that wasn’t altogether pleasant. I have the tiger by the tail.

Jude tugged on her hair again, a little harder this time. “Now get those fucking pants off. I’m not going to tell you again.”