5. Forest

5

FOREST

I roll out of bed, rubbing my eyes to ward off the headache I know is coming. It's still dark out, but I wasn't sleeping much. Might as well get started for the day.

As I grab a pair of jeans and a shirt from my dresser, the kiss from last night replays over and over in my mind. Hell, it's been on repeat ever since her lips left mine.

And then I went and fucked everything up.

I was so lost in the moment, so caught up in Fiona's eager kiss, her soft, pillowy curves rolling against my hard body, the way she grabbed me and pulled me close like she was already as addicted as I was… But then I thought of Jett.

Guilt wrapped its way around my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I know I messed up when I pushed Fiona away and said those four awful words; It was a mistake.

Fuck that. It wasn't a mistake and I know it. I knew it then, too, but the storm of emotions swirling in my head made everything fuzzy. Betrayal, lust, longing, and guilt twisted my stomach into knots until I could hardly mutter two words.

Fiona couldn't even look at me when she left the kitchen. Her voice cracked with emotion, and fuck if it didn't chip away another piece of my heart. I never want to be the cause of her tears.

I head to the bathroom and wash my face, hoping the cold water will reset my brain and help me think of a way to make it up to Fiona. She's vulnerable, especially after the incident at the bar. Then I went and cornered her in the kitchen and kissed her before tossing her away.

Fucking fool , I tell myself for the hundredth time since last night.

When I get to the kitchen, I start up the coffee maker. I might need to finish an entire pot before my brain kicks in. I pour myself a cup once the coffee is finished brewing and then sit at the table, contemplating the gigantic mess I've gotten myself into.

"Oh," comes a soft voice, startling me out of my early morning haze. I look up to see Fiona in a tiny pair of sleep shorts and a matching tank top. It's too much. She's too damn sexy for me to think straight. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep and was going to make myself some coffee and get a little more studying before taking my final."

She starts to turn away, but I find my voice just in time. "Join me for a cup," I say, a little more gruffly than I intended. My voice is still raspy from sleep. "I mean, if you want. Coffee is fresh."

I take a sip of my drink, wanting to do anything to distract myself from ogling Fiona's thighs and breasts, both on display in her pajamas.

"Y-yeah. Sure," she replies. She sounds a bit skittish, and I hate that I made her uncomfortable.

Fiona prepares her coffee and then sits across from me at the table. We each take a few drinks in silence, the morning light just beginning to peek through the window over the sink. The beautiful woman sitting across from me is bathed in golden light, making her even more ethereal.

"What time is your final exam?" I ask, hoping to start up a conversation.

Fiona shifts in her seat and nibbles on her bottom lip as she fidgets with her mug of coffee. "Well," she starts, avoiding eye contact. "Technically it's at ten."

I furrow my brow. That's an odd answer. "Do you need a ride to class?"

She shakes her head no. "I… I'm not proud to admit this, but I lied to my professor. I told her I was sick and she said I could take the exam online as long as I submit it by the end of the day."

I can't help myself. I reach across the table, taking one of her trembling hands in mine. "That's okay," I tell her. I'm not sure what to say or why she lied, but I get the sense there's something deeper at play here.

"It's not, but I just…" Fiona trails off, biting her lip nervously. Her foot starts tapping against the linoleum floor and I want nothing more than to scoop her up and cradle her in my arms. She's clearly anxious, I'm just not sure why yet. "I haven't left this house since that night at the bar. The thought of being out in the open, exposed to anyone or anything…"

She shivers, every muscle in her body tensing. Fiona squeezes my hand and I squeeze hers right back, letting her know I'm here. It makes sense that she's hesitant to go out after what she went through. Still, it kills me that this strong, sassy, clever, and gorgeous woman is afraid to step outside.

"I'm right here," I reassure her.

Fiona nods, then withdraws her hand from mine, turning her head and discretely wiping a few tears away. My heart grows heavy knowing the suffering she's going through.

I suddenly have a great idea of how to get things back on the right track. Well, right for Fiona and me. Jett… I'll have to deal with him later. I was stupid to think I could kiss Fiona and not want to keep her for the rest of my life. Jett will understand. He has to.

"How about we go for a picnic after your final?" I offer. "It will be a low-key way to get back out there. An hour, maybe two, then we can come home."

"A picnic? You and me? I thought…"

"I was stupid and thoughtless last night," I blurt out. The stricken look on her face lets me know she took that the entirely wrong way. "Not the kiss," I clarify. "But what I said after. It wasn't a mistake, Fiona. It was one of the best moments of my life."

Those green eyes sear through me, searching for a lie or an ulterior motive. She won't find either.

"Mine, too," she says softly. "It was, um, my first kiss, actually."

My heart stops in my chest. Two thoughts clash in my mind, each one fighting for control. The first thought is that I'm so damn lucky she chose me for her first kiss. I want to be all of her firsts. The second thought is that I really, really fucked up, more than I knew in the moment. The memory of her first kiss will be tied to how I treated her after. I hate that for her and vow to make it up. I'll give her so many kisses she'll forget all about my stupid comments.

"I'm honored," I tell her truthfully. "Fiona, I'm so sorry for how I acted. I was conflicted about…"

"My brother," she finishes for me. I nod and we both sit in silence for a bit, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room. "I mean, is there really anything to tell him?"

"There will be," I say with an intensity that shocks Fiona as well as myself. I exhale and run a hand through my hair. "Not that I want to force you into anything or that we'll even kiss again, I just want you to know… fuck," I mutter, resting my head in my hands. "I just want you to know I can't stop thinking about you and I hope to get to know you more. I want there to be something to tell Jett because then I'll know it's real. It's risky. It's worth fighting for."

I finish my rambling thoughts and peer up at Fiona, unsure of what her reaction is going to be.

"It's real for me," she murmurs.

"Me, too, sweetheart." Fiona's cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink at my pet name for her. I make a note to use it more often. "So, is that a yes for our picnic this afternoon?"

My girl can't contain her smile. It lights up her face, the room, the whole damn universe. It certainly lights me up from the inside out. I want to be right here next to her so I can witness every single one of them.

"It's a date," she says.

"Your first date?" I ask. She nods. "Mine, too, actually. We can share this first together."

Fiona tries hiding her grin by drinking the rest of her coffee, but it doesn't matter. I can feel the excitement and anticipation radiating off of her. I just hope I can prove to her I'm serious and she's worth fighting for, though I'm hoping it won't come to that.

"I'll make us more coffee and get started on breakfast," I offer. "I'm sure my mother will be up soon. I assume you know her well enough to know she doesn't function until her second cup of coffee." Fiona chuckles and nods. I'm glad she's had at least one person in town she's close with.

A few hours later, I'm fielding all kinds of questions from my mom about the picnic, where we're going, what we're eating, and when the wedding is.

" Ma ," I say exasperatedly. "You can't say stuff like that around Fiona, okay? I don't want to scare her off."

My mother's eyebrows lift up to her hairline, which would be hilarious if I weren't annoyed with her at the moment. "You didn't push back on the wedding itself, just the telling Fiona part. Interesting."

"No meddling," I warn her, leveling a look at my mother so she knows how serious I am. "Fiona is fragile right now."

My mother's eyes grow soft and she places a hand over her heart. "And I know you're going to take care of her and protect her, son." I nod, glad to finally agree on something.

After packing everything up in a basket my mom had tucked away in the hallway closet, I head to my room and change into a nicer pair of jeans and a clean shirt. Right as I'm coming out of my room, Fiona steps out of hers.

"Finished?" I ask, giving her a smile.

"Finally," she sighs. "Now I can forget everything forever," she jokes.

"Perfect timing. Everything is set for our picnic. Are you ready to go or do you need a few minutes?"

"I'm ready," Fiona replies, though her tone is different. Meek. Wary.

I step closer to her and slide my arm around her hips, pulling her toward me. She looks up, those mesmerizing eyes locking onto mine. "I'll be right there with you," I promise. "I won't let anything bad happen. Do you trust me?"

I hold my breath as I wait for her answer.

"Yes," comes her whispered response. I kiss the top of her head and pull my woman in for a hug. She wraps her arms around me and sinks into my embrace.

"Good girl," I murmur. Just like the last time I said it, Fiona shivers and her eyes darken slightly. God, what that does to me. She wants me to praise her? Lavish her with attention and dirty promises? I can't fucking wait.