Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Annie

I'm going to hell.

That's it. I'm going to hell, and I can't even be mad because I deserve it for being a husband-stealing, best-friend-betraying brat. Oh, and being a coward.

Because when Montgomery showed up at my bedroom door, I pushed Lorcan away, grabbed my clothes and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me so quickly I'm sure I gave both men whiplash.

I'm not sure how long I hid in there, but it was long enough for both of them to eventually stop knocking, Lorcan to tell me we would talk later, and the bedroom door to shut.

But I'm still not brave enough to go out, so I get dressed and stay sitting on the bathroom floor and decide that it would be a great place to move into and live forever and ever.

And just maybe, that thought, more than anything, makes me realize I need to make some time for a certain other part of me that hasn't been let out in too long.

Daddy Jackson introduced me to a whole other world. Before I submitted to him and let go of all the notions society puts on us to behave a certain way, and have specific needs and likes, my sex life was pretty damn boring. My life outside of the bedroom too, if I am being completely honest.

The artist Jackson was an asshole on the studio floor. His temper was as hot as the furnaces that melted the glass. But in the beginning, behind closed doors, when it was just the two of us, there was this whole other side to him. He taught me about my subby side, nurtured my long-neglected inner child, and opened my eyes to a whole different lifestyle that the pages of your usual erotic novel just don't do justice to.

He was patient, kind and sweet. He was the type of Dom who gave me the world, and by the time the internship was ending, I was so ridiculously in love with him I was ready to give up my dreams of getting my own glass shop up and running to just stay in London and work alongside him.

I lost my identity and my personality. And thinking back on it, I'm not even sure how it happened. I can't blame it all on him because, as he made it clear when he broke it off with me, he never once encouraged any of my 'delusional dreams'.

Then again, whenever I spoke about staying on after the eighteen months, he certainly didn't tell me no either.

Regardless, no matter what happened between us at the end, he introduced me to a whole different world. If I was still going to the expensive therapist my parents used to pay for as a teenager, she'd have told me it was just part of some childhood trauma because my parents didn't give me enough love and attention, but no matter the reason, that part of me was in there. She wanted out, and she wanted love. And I needed to stop ignoring her.

But before I can do that, I need to put on my big-girl pants for a bit and face the music I made last night. And this morning.

A soft knock draws me from my inner musings, but before I can answer, the door slowly opens and Suzie peeks her head around the door.

"Is it safe to come in, honey?" She sends a timid smile my way.

Instead of answering, I jump up and rush her, wrapping my arms around her in an enormous hug.

"Oh my goodness, Suzie! I'm so sorry for being such a bitch last night. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, and I'm the worst friend in the world and you shouldn't have ever let me come stay here with you. Will you ever forgive me?" The words tumble from my mouth before a hiccupping sob escapes me.

Suzie—thankfully—hugs me back, pushing her face into my neck and crying with me. Both of us have always been big 'showers' of our emotions, which made it much easier for us to get along in the initial get-to-know-you phase.

"Don't be an idiot," she gets out between sobs. We clutch each other for a while until our tears quiet down.

Suzie grabs us some tissues and once we've cleaned up some, she takes my hand and pulls me to the bed where we both sit cross-legged, with our hands clutched together in front of us. "I love you, even when you're doing stupid things. But you might have to grovel a bit with Ethan and Cole. They're pretty pissed at you. "

My stomach plummets at the reminder of the people in the world just outside the bedroom door. I am worried about how upset Ethan and Cole are with me. But I'm even more worried over what happened between me and Lorcan earlier.

"And your parents?" I ask Suzie, refusing to look at her, instead opting to stare at our entwined hands.

"Well, Monte was pretty damn mad when Ethan phoned them last night asking for help, but they seem okay now." The bed moves with the movement of what must be a shrug from Suzie. "Honestly, I'm a little surprised. I expected them to be livid. At both of us. But when I stepped into the house this morning, they both hugged me and told me to come get you for breakfast."

My head shoots up and I look at Suzie, trying to decipher her micro-expressions like I'm some kind of expert suddenly. "Both of them? Together?"

Her brows draw together in a confused frown. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

"No reason!" I practically shout before rushing to change the subject. "Do I have to go to breakfast?"

Suzie's bright giggles fill the room before she tugs on my hands. "Of course you do. And then you need to get packed because Lorcan also told me we'll be going to Aspen for the next week!"

She's so excited, she's vibrating on the bed, and all I can do is try to come up with excuses to stay behind in a house that isn't my home, without its inhabitants.

Yeah, that would be too weird, right?

"Suze," I start, trying to interrupt her diatribe of excited babble as she tells me about all the fun we'll have on the slopes and all the sexy men who will be there to distract and help me get over my heartbreak. "Honey, I can't let you guys pay for me to go on holiday with you. It's already too much for me to stay here for free."

Suzie frowns at me, her lips pinched as if she's trying to think of the best way to combat my argument. And then her face splits into a huge grin before she jumps off the bed, grabs my hand and pulls me behind her.

"Know what? I'll let you tell my dads that, and see how far that gets you."

Oh, fuck no. There is no chance in hell that I am telling either of those men anything for the foreseeable future. I'm going to walk into that kitchen with Suzie, like the adult I am. And then proceed to adult like a boss bitch and ignore the crap out of both Lorcan and Montgomery while I apologize to Ethan and Cole.

Then I'll pack my bags, move into the cheapest motel I can find and get a job as a waitress or something. Who cares if my soul dies a little at the thought of never seeing either man again? And never finding out what Montgomery's lips feel like against mine.