Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Annie

The next three days are everything. In between moments spent with Lorcan and Monte, I have my time with Suzie, but even then, all I can think about are her dads and how much fun I'm having with them.

On our second day together, Lorcan and Monte take me to Glass and we really end up spending almost all morning in the small space. The owner and resident artist is very excited to meet a fellow glassblower and takes up even more of my time when she offers to take me to her workshop and show me a few of her own personal techniques. Apparently, she's been toying with taking on an apprentice and my heart does a little hippity hop at the thought of contacting her later. Even more so when she slips me a business card with instructions to send her my portfolio.

The three of us spend more time out on the slopes, letting the chilly mountain air invigorate us, and get our blood pumping, only so we can fall into bed after and spend hours exploring each other.

But it's not all sex and action. In the early morning hours, in between bouts of lust and passion, I tell them about Jackson and how my relationship with him started. Lorcan has this way of drawing even the hardest truths out of me, and it takes a lot of self-control not to let on that there is an expiration date on this thing we have going between us.

Because from everything they do tell me, it's clear that they're in this.

Lorcan and Monte both talk about the future, about possibly moving me into their bedroom at home and turning one of the guest rooms into a playroom.

They're both eager to get to know all of me better. And apparently get started on the next step. But I'm not quite there yet.

What that really means is that I can't bear sharing my heart with them, only to have what promises to be perfection ripped away from me. I thought my heart was broken after Jackson, but from the way I feel with these two men after just a few days, it's clear that whatever feelings I might have had for my ex were puppy-love at best, but probably more like hero worship because my long-time idol had shown me extra attention.

These scary, bubbling, budding feelings fill me in every moment I spend with my new Daddies. Every sweet gesture, every kind word, every moment shared with them brings me closer and closer to the precipice of falling head over heels in love with them.

And it's absolutely ludicrous because I've barely known them for a month. I've only spent a handful of days with them .

It's almost like fate. Kismet brought us together, or probably more likely, karma. Because that's the only thing that makes sense.

I've been blessed with the promise of the most perfect men, the greatest relationship, knowing full well it isn't really for me. Not forever.

I must have done some pretty fucked-up shit in a past life.

"Where's your head at, babygirl?" Monte asks me, as his hand strokes lazy circles across my back. It's early morning on our fourth day together, and I'd woken them both up for some before-breakfast-nookie. I know what I need to do next, but I really don't want to.

"I'm thinking about spending the day with Suzie. She was looking way better last night before I went down to join you for dinner last night. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'll be able to join us out and about by this afternoon." The words are said with a twang of bittersweet.

My relief at Suzie feeling better is genuine. She had me worried there for a bit. Her parents too, because they had a doctor stop by when her fever wouldn't break.

But after some antibiotics, loads of fluids, and rest for days, she is on the mend. Which means I can't hide from what's happening anymore. I promised myself that when she felt better, I'd talk with her and tell her what happened, and explain why I can't go home with them.

And that time has finally come.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Lorcan mutters against my thigh, where his head is still resting. "Do you want some girl-only time, or would you mind if a couple of old farts join you?"

I snort at his 'old farts' comment because if there is anything the two of them have proved over the last few days is that they're anything but old. But before I can allow the brief moment of levity to distract me, I clear my throat and shake my head.

"Uh, no," I start, before pushing up so I am sitting up and can look at them both properly. "I was actually hoping to talk to her... about us ."

Monte sits up next to me and Lorcan turns so he's facing me head-on. "Do you want to do that alone?" Lorcan asks. "Is that a good idea?"

This is the first time either of them has shown any apprehension toward our relationship and any potential blowback it might have. Do they regret the time they spent with me? Have they been pretending to be all in this whole time?

I push the worries and thoughts deep down and I will probably never look at them again. It doesn't matter if they weren't truthful. I wasn't truthful. And every minute spent with them felt real, so I'll cling to those memories when the men in them are gone from my life.

"I'd like to try on my own, if that's okay?" I ask them.

Lorcan's eyes fill with an emotion I recognize, but am personally very unfamiliar with.

Pride.

"That's perfect, babygirl. We'll be right down here. If you need us, we're just a phone call or a text away, okay?"

I smile at his answer. It's perfect. Just like everything about them. "Thank you, Daddy," I respond before leaning over to give him and then Monte a kiss.

By the time I'm up, showered and dressed, it's almost time for breakfast. I'm hoping Suzie will be up to eating, because then I can just order room service, and we can both pig out before curling up in bed together to watch endless hours of silly television or play our usual make- believe game where we dream up the rest of our fantastical lives. And then once I have her softened up, I can tell her what I've been doing with my time while she was sick.

I'm about to knock on Suzie's door—the outside one—when I remember I can just go in through our connecting door, so I let myself into the room I haven't been using the last couple of days other than ducking in for brief moments to check in on Suzie and grab a change of clothes.

I am most certainly not expecting to see Suzie sitting on my bed with a very pissed-off look on her face.

"Where the fuck have you been, Annie?" She starts off on the offensive immediately and my gut reaction is to lie, but I was going to tell her today, anyway. Might as well just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with.

"Have you been sneaking off and banging some tourist while I've been worried about making you spend so much time with my dads?" Her tone is beyond annoyed and the fine lines between her eyebrows almost scare me.

"No." I push out the word, barely even a whisper. "I've not been sneaking off with a tourist."

"You've also not been sleeping in here. I know. I've been checking in and hoping that you'd stop being so secretive and talk to me about it. So where the hell have you been?"

This is it. My moment. There's an elephant sitting on my chest and it's so heavy and just... everywhere.

"I've been staying in Lorcan and Monte's room."

The tension in the room—already high—skyrockets even more. Suzie jumps up off the bed and throws the pillow she'd been hugging back against the headboard with such force it bounces and flies off the other side.

"You've been sleeping with my dads?"

I can't face her. Unable to look up and see the censure and hurt on her face, I nod and keep my gaze trained on my feet.

"What the fuck, Annie? How long has this been going on? Were you going to tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Suze." I say the only words I can find the strength to utter.

"That's all you have to say? You're sorry? No answers to my questions?" Her words are laced with hurt, and I can feel, more than hear, the tears building in them. I want to rush over to my friend and hold her, but I know I am not the one to soothe her hurts right now.

So, instead of doing what I want and going to her for a hug, or responding to her words, I keep looking at my feet and shrug.

"Ugh! I hate when you shut down like this. I can't deal with you right now."

And those are the last words my best friend utters to me before she storms out of the room.

The slamming of the connecting door feels pretty fucking final, and I hope it doesn't symbolize the end of our friendship.