45 Margarita Complex

Lily

Sharkie plopped herself on the floor behind the Hellp Desk with a huff. “I know Bel is doing his job, but how long is that going to take? My teacher said she didn’t know. And I miss him.”

Lily, leaned back in her chair with her feet propped up on the desk, laid her book in her lap and lolled her head to give Sharkie a weary smile.

Two weeks had ground by with agonizing slowness since Bel and the legions had left. Two weeks since Hell had gone eerily quiet. Oh, demons still worked and talked and went about their days, but there were noticeably fewer of them around, and all the conversations seemed to have a hushed quality to them.

Lily had gone to Seven Deadly with a few of the gate demons the first week. There had been no boisterous laughter, no rowdy music or dancing, just the dull hum of conversation. Krun’s wife, Naamah, had joined them, apparently with the sole mission of adopting Lily and fussing over her like a mother hen. A nearly seven-foot-tall, magenta-skinned mother hen whose solution for what she called the “missing your man blues” involved a large margarita, a brand-new vibrator in a pretty box, and a chocolate sheet cake decorated with fudge frosting and an enthusiastic application of rainbow sprinkles—courtesy of their daughter. The cake had come with instructions to not cut it into pieces, but take a fork directly to it, as needed.

“Now drink your margarita, dear,” Naamah had said in her warm, motherly voice. “All the partners of soldiers have regular get-togethers, mostly by legion, but frankly, support is support, and in times like these, we need all the support we can get. I remember. Drink your margarita like you mean it. Here’s tissues for when you want or need to cry; they’re the kind that won’t chafe.”

Lily had dutifully inhaled the fishbowl-sized margarita and, once the tequila-horniness kicked in, headed home with the intention of using the new vibrator. She’d ended up crying on the bed as soon as she’d opened it, because it made her think of Bel’s utter delight when he’d found her personal arsenal.

The tissues had come in handy then.

He’d been gone for stretches of time before and since they’d gotten together, but this time felt different. Bigger.

“I don’t know either, bug. Wish I did. How are you doing with all this?” Lily said finally, fiddling with the beads of the bracelets.

Sharkie had been slower to laugh since Bel left. A semipermanent wrinkle of worry had taken up residence on her forehead. When she curled up next to Lily at the table or on the couch, she always glanced at Bel’s empty spot with a little sigh before snuggling closer. When she and Lily sparred and trained with the demons, her glee wasn’t quite as effusive. She still laughed, still got excited about new facts, still managed the aquarium on her computer with the intensity of a conservationist. She seemed more cautious though, a bit less certain that good things were still good.

Sharkie shrugged and fiddled with her backpack. “I miss Bel a lot. I’m worried about him. Luci seems stressed and sad. You miss Bel, but, like, you’re okay. As long as you’re okay, I’m okay.” Lily only had a moment to be awed by the trust in that statement before Sharkie squinted at her. “You are okay, right? Be honest.”

Lily laughed, warmth spreading through her chest. “I miss Bel, and I’m worried about him too, but yeah, I’m okay. Here’s why: I know that he’s a badass warrior and general who knows what he’s doing. He has all of his legions to help him, plus the other armies and legions too. So I hope that, all things considered, he’ll be okay.”

Okay enough. He can come back missing parts, as long as he just comes back.

“Yeah, that makes sense. But what if he isn’t okay?”

Lily fought back a surge of nausea at the thought of a Universe without Bel in it. “Then I’ll be devastated,” she said quietly. “It will hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. But I also know that I will find a way to deal with it. I might want to fall apart, but I’ll keep going. I love Bel so much, but he’s not the only person I love. I’ve got you, and you are more than worth sticking around for.”

Sharkie’s concern melted into a soft smile. “I love you too. No matter what, we’ll deal with it, right?”

“Right.”

“YOU BITCH!” a woman shrieked at the demon who had checked her in, all while stomping her way towards the Hellp Desk and waggling her finger like she was trying to generate a breeze.

Lily exchanged a grimace with Sharkie before fixing her glare on the soul. Can’t we have a single uninterrupted special moment for fuck’s sake?

Other than her mottled red face and the fact that she was quite literally spitting mad, the woman looked like a perfectly coiffed socialite. “Do you have any idea who I am? I—”

An awful, guttural shrieking noise cut through her tirade, bringing her up short. It took Lily a beat too long to realize that the noise was coming from the floor beside her. Sharkie slowly rose from the floor like an adorable Halloween decoration, eyes completely blank, mouth wide open, emitting the most godawful noise that Lily had ever heard come out of a person. Lily bit her tongue and fixed her gaze indolently on the woman, as if this were a normal occurrence and she wasn’t a blink away from crying with laughter. Several of the demons turned to watch, and more than a few of them, plus a few souls actually, seemed to be masking giggles.

“ Excuse me—”

Sharkie’s wail increased in pitch and volume, her arms raising to the side in a T-pose.

Lily sucked her lips into her mouth and exhaled slowly through her nose, trying to maintain her composure. Sharkie shifted to a noise that sounded like some hybrid of Cthulhu and a husky throwing a tantrum, remaining completely blank-eyed the entire time. She abruptly honked like a goose, sucked in a dramatic lungful of air and launched back into her croaky howl. Half the demons lost it, and Lily had to shut her eyes to keep from following suit.

Be serious. Help sell this. You’re a professional, pull yourself together.

Lily opened her eyes. “Yes?” The one word was all she could manage, clenching her jaw to keep in the laughter.

The woman looked at her, looked at Sharkie, then hurried away, throwing disturbed glances over her shoulder as she went.

Lily caved, covering her face with her hands and laughing so hard tears streamed down her face, only to cackle even harder when Sharkie stopped shrieking as quickly as she’d started.

Sharkie cleared her throat and smacked her lips, her bland expression sending Lily into another round of hysterics. “That was fun.”

Lily wiped at her eyes, still chuckling, and held her fist out for Sharkie to bump. “Nicely done. Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“It felt like what needed to be said. Does this mean I can intern with you when I’m older?” Sharkie asked eagerly. Since hitting the milestone of “being eleven-ish,” she’d learned that, starting at sixteen, demons began having short internships to help them decide what they wanted to do as adults. She’d immediately started asking Lily about the Hellp Desk.

“Of course, if you want to. But don’t be afraid to try other stuff you might like doing. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“I like hanging out with you and being sassy and funny and having fun. I like the gate demons. I like being helpful. I like the Hellp Desk. It’s really cool, it has a procedure, but also it’s not the same all the time, so it’s not boring. I like your baseball bat. Like, I really, really like your baseball bat. I want it. You know, someday.”

“Tell you what,” Lily said with a smile, “that will be your internship present.”

Sharkie pumped a fist in the air. “Yes! I’m gonna bedazzle it!”

* * *

A month went by, and for Lily everything seemed to blur together slightly.

Souls still came down to Hell. Still came up to the Hellp Desk to complain or threaten or rage or ask legitimate questions and seek actual help and advice. Lily got coffee in the mornings and chatted with the baristas and her friends. She and Persephone had a girls’ night in the Underworld that involved drunken flower crowns. She had lunch with Aphrodite. She finally got that coffee with Angel. She parked herself in the Universal Library on one of her days off and didn’t move from her couch the entire day. She sparred with Krun or Moura or one of the others. She brought pastries to the Front Desk and swapped stories about dealing with souls, good and bad.

She went with Sharkie to visit Cthulhu in his realm, and while the initial sight of a building-sized creature with a tentacled, unearthly face had been a bit of a shock, she’d quickly gotten over it when she saw how gentle he was with Sharkie. He was odd, but funny. Fist-bumping a hand the size of an SUV had been a new experience.

What wasn’t a new experience was staring at her phone, twitching every time it rang or buzzed and quelling the flash of disappointment when it wasn’t Bel. She still sent him messages, sent him a picture every day. Told him that she loved him. That she was proud of him. That she touched the bracelets on her wrist a dozen times a day.

The Universal Hallway grew a little tense as time and battles dragged on. The offshoot hall where the invaded realm lay had been cordoned off—not that anyone ventured that way much anymore. Lily found it one day, a prickle of danger itching through every fiber of her being as she stared grimly down the empty hallway.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, but her reverie was broken by a cluster of soldiers carrying stretchers of the wounded towards their respective realms. Demons, Fae, Valkyrie, other warriors. She stepped out of their way and went back to the Hellp Desk, mechanically going about her work. She hugged Sharkie a little tighter when she picked her up from school.

A few days later, a gangly young demon with orange skin bashfully approached the Hellp Desk.

“Excuse me, Ms. Lily?”

“Hey, what’s up?” Lily asked, all too happy to have an excuse to look away from the logistics report for Lev on her computer.

The young demon fidgeted a little, then held out a single black sock.

Lily’s world narrowed down to that stupid sock, a cool sensation trickling over her skin.

“Prince Beleth asked me to give this to you. I, um, I made sure to get one of the ones in the dryer, so that it was clean and didn’t…you know…smell.”

Lily’s breaths sounded loud in her head. “Bel asked you? Is he here?”

If he was back and hadn’t said anything she’d kill him. Kiss the sense out of him, maybe fuck the attitude and audacity out of him—how dare he come back and not say anything?—but then she would very much kill him. Then bring him back.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, Ms. Lily, he, um…he set this up with a bunch of us before he, um… left.”

“Ah.” Lily said, her own voice sounding far away.

Sweet man. Sweet, thoughtful, beloved man, making sure she kept her promise, even while he was gone. She could practically hear her brother Ryan’s exasperation as he dug through the laundry looking for his missing sock. One of his running socks it looked like. It had to be Ryan’s, because Tommy refused to wear ankle socks.

“Ms. Lily?” The concern in the young demon’s voice snapped her out of her haze.

“I’m so sorry, I just got a little overwhelmed by this. Thank you.” She smiled, taking the sock with fingers that trembled. It felt different than anything else in the Afterlife. Somehow it felt mortal . “This really means a lot to me. Did you have a good trip to the mortal world?”

The young demon ducked their head with a grin, slender tail twitching behind them. “Yeah. We pushed shopping carts around the parking lot when there was no wind. A bunch of people filmed it, but they couldn’t see us. It was really fun. Then we got milkshakes. They taste different there.”

Lily read between the lines of “got milkshakes” and interpreted that they must have “stolen” milkshakes, probably making them disappear right off the counter and confusing the shit out of some poor fast-food worker.

“I’m glad you had a good time. Thank you for this,” she said, holding up the sock.

The young demon grinned and walked away, curiously looking at the line of mortal souls as they went.

Lily ran her fingers over the knitted fabric of the sock. The elastic was starting to loosen just a bit around the ankle. There were thin spots on the heel and the ball of the foot. This had probably been one of her brother’s favorite socks. He always wore them until they were trashed, even when he complained constantly about how they didn’t stay on his foot right anymore, or had holes in the toes…

Fuck, she wanted to cry. She wanted to break down and let it all wash over her in a tide, sweeping her away. Bel’s absence was like a hole punched through her chest. She knew she’d see her brothers again, one way or another, but Bel… She’d seen the increasing number of wounded demons that had been brought back to Hell, and seen the mourning processions for those who hadn’t made it back alive. The glittery, too-large bracelets weighed a thousand pounds on her wrist.

“Lily?” Crocell’s voice was soft with worry, his hand warm on her arm. She hadn’t even seen him approach the desk.

“It’s all good, C. But I need to take the rest of the day off.”

His eyes were knowing. “Do whatever you need to do. We’ve got your back.”

A short time later, Lily knocked on the door of the house whose address she’d been sent. A female demon opened it wide, ushering her into a house full of voices. Children could be heard upstairs playing some kind of game and laughing.

“Thank you for having me,” Lily said to the woman, Berte, whose husband was a colonel in Bel’s Seventeenth Legion. One of the aerial legions, if she remembered right.

“Of course,” Berte said. “You are more than welcome. It’s a pleasure and an honor to get to meet you.”

The large, open concept house was filled with demons. They sat on couches and chairs; a few sat on the rug in a circle, their chubby babies—most of whom had tiny, delicate, gossamer wings—playing and having tummy time in the center. Everyone looked up, their greetings merging into a collective swell of sound. Their obvious welcome wasn’t what lifted Lily’s spirits though, it was the understanding in their eyes.

A female demon with shimmering charcoal-gray skin and wings rose from her chair and set her glass down. “Oh, darling, I see those eyes. We’ve all been there. We need a margarita, stat!” she called.

“On it!” a male voice responded from the kitchen.

“Actually…” Lily started, voice trailing off as her throat grew tight. Everyone zeroed in on it, and embarrassment burned over her face.

The gray-skinned woman looked concerned. “I’m so sorry, I should have asked if you drink! We have nonalcoholic options too.”

“No, a drink sounds great, especially an alcoholic one…” Lily forced a rough laugh. Fuck it. Just…fuck it. “It’s just that tequila makes me horny, and normally that’s fine, but right now, it just makes me miss him even more because he’s not here to help with that.” Her voice and vision were suspiciously watery by the end.

The collective knowing hum that followed had her laughing through her tears.

“The bastards.”

“Fucking hate it when that happens.”

“I’m the same way with rum,” the gray-skinned woman assured her warmly. “I had a bunch of daiquiris on their last long deployment, and I burned out my vibe. The good one. Didn’t take the edge off, but it’s a good story now, yeah?” She guided Lily to one of the chairs, yelling to the kitchen, “Forget the marg. This calls for a wine slushy.”

“Thank you.” Lily chuckled, wiping her eyes with one of the ultra-soft tissues someone handed her.

Then a large wine slushy was pressed into her hand, along with a decadently fudgy cupcake, and everything seemed a little bit more possible.

She’d be okay, she realized as the partners started chatting with her and each other, some with their own watery eyes. There was strength found in the simple and complicated act of understanding. First, she’d found it with Bel, in their honest conversations and their willingness to learn, understand, and accept each other, even the rough or ugly parts. Then, with other beings and souls of the Afterlife—Lucifer, Persephone, Siedah, Aphrodite, the gate demons, a dozen other deities and beings.

Sometimes the strength found in understanding was in acceptance, of and for herself, of and for others. Sometimes it was of a more brutal, combative nature, such as the way she wielded her understanding of souls to guide them to justice or accountability, or the way that Bel used his understanding of his enemies and soldiers to strengthen his tactics for battle.

Strength through understanding.

That would make a good motto for Bel. She sipped her wine slushy.

She’d tell him about it when he got home.

When.

Bel

Since the initial attack, it had been damn near nonstop action in one way or another for more than six weeks. Thanks to the sheer number of soldiers and legions at their disposal, they could keep themselves from complete physical fatigue, but the mental and emotional toll was steep.

The enemy Universe was throwing everything at them. Wave after wave of their brutal, vicious soldiers, gegony, and other monsters crashed against their lines with savage force. The death toll mounted high, too high.

And still they held.

And would hold. For as long as they needed to.