3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

On a beautiful summer day, Tim was sitting in the office of the barn, inputting data into the new inventory program he'd written for his uncle's operation. He'd worked the summer doing various jobs around the farm to help his understanding of the procedures and how best to track expenses and inventory to ensure there were no surprises on any given day after he put his new system in place. It kept his mind off Matthew Collins.

First thing in the morning, Tim went down to the barn to collect the tally from the whiteboards he'd hung to assist with tracking hay and grain usage. He'd input the information into the program he'd created to assist with billing their clients who had horses boarding at Katydid. It was hard to get the guys to cooperate initially, but after Uncle Josh explained it to them, they all tried their best to go along with Tim's instructions.

As the program started to track expenses and create an accurate history, they'd be able to anticipate needs which would cut down on shortages and needless trips to town. Tim would be able to include a barcode system for everything that would make tracking inventory easier for everyone involved in the inner workings of the farm.

Aunt Katie walked into the office with a thermos and a basket of muffins, which she placed on the filing cabinet next to the coffee maker. "Thanks, but we have coffee, Aunt Katie." Tim pointed to the old glass carafe.

It looked filthy, but he didn't think much about it as he drank the awful stuff. It was like drinking mud, but it mimicked a defibrillator in the early morning when Tim needed the caffeine infusion to start his day… after his very long and even more lonely nights.

"That crap you boys drink hardly qualifies as coffee, and I'd be suspicious of anything comin' outta that old coffee maker, but this isn't for you. This is chocolate milk and banana muffins for Ryan Collins. Matt called. Melinda Stallings asked him to come out to shoe Princess. She's going on a trail ride in Kentucky over the holiday and wants trail shoes for the mare. Also, Bart Grant will be comin' by sometime today to run a Coggins test on her so Melinda can take the horse out of state.

"I told Matt he could leave Ryan in the office under your care to keep him out of the way while Matt's working. You don't mind watchin' him, do ya?" Tim could have sworn she had an evil glint in her eye.

Tim pushed back from the desk and took in her demeanor. She was up to something. "What's going on with you? I didn't think Mr. Collins shod horses full-time. Doesn't he run a cattle ranch or something?"

Aunt Katie flashed a bright smile. "He does, but he still takes care of the horses here at Katydid when necessary. Joshua and I are good friends with Jeri and Marty Collins, and we allowed Matt to practice on our horses when he was learning the trade. He promised he'd always help our boarders, and us, when we needed him.

"He's still tryin' to do everything for Ryan by himself, so he takes that boy with him everywhere. I thought maybe since you already met Ryan, you might keep him occupied. Joshua wants to have Matt look at that jenny rescue, Josie. She was foundered when those women dropped her off, but Hank's been trimmin' her hooves every week. Josh thinks she's gentle, and he wants to put shoes on her," she explained with a roll of her eyes that brought a chuckle from Tim.

A little while later, Tim saw a small cowboy hat through the glass panes on the office door, reminding him about his babysitting appointment with Ryan Collins. Aunt Katie had been reading the paper on her phone when the boy knocked on the door, and before Tim could say a word, Aunt Katie jerked it open and knelt in front of him, opening her arms for a hug which the boy gave freely. "Hello there, Ryan Collins. How are ya, sweetie?"

After the two separated from their hug, the boy reached up and took off the little straw cowboy hat, holding it by the brim in his small hands. "Hi, Miss Katie. Gramma Jeri says hi. She's havin' a barbecue and a swimmin' party on the holiday, and she wanted me to ask you if you and Mr. Josh would come. She wants Mr. Tim to come, too, ‘cause she wants to meet him."

Ryan walked over to the desk and stuck out his hand. "How you been? Mr. Josh said maybe you could lead me around on Betsy? Daddy won't let me ride her by myself yet, but when I turn seven, I'm gonna get my own horse. Papa Marty promised me." Ryan leaned against the desk as he spoke, reminding Tim of a little grown-up.

Ryan was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt with the logo for the Circle C on the front. Tim didn't know what the Circle C was, but the boy looked cute. Just a mini version of Matt, right down to those sparkling blue eyes.

He chuckled. "Sure, Ryan. Aunt Katie brought down some muffins and chocolate milk. You hungry?" Tim picked up the boy and put him in the large desk chair. Ryan scurried up to his knees and leaned his elbows against the desk, looking at the computer screen with interest.

Tim opened the thermos and poured Ryan a cup of chocolate milk before he refilled his own coffee cup. He got them a muffin and small paper plates Aunt Kate had included in the basket, along with napkins. Tim heard the office door shut behind them, turning to see the back of his sainted aunt as she walked out of the office and turned toward the house. He was on his own with the kid, and she was likely enjoying Tim's lack of confidence in the situation.

Tim pulled up the wooden side chair and sat down next to Ryan. "You ready for school?"

The two of them dug into the muffins, and there wasn't much conversation between bites for a minute. "You miss breakfast?" Tim thought Ryan seemed awfully hungry so early in the day.

The boy took a sip of his milk and wiped his mouth with the napkin before sheepishly looking at the desktop. "Nope, we had it. See, Daddy can't cook so good. He tries, but he's not good as Gramma. This mornin' he made eggs, and they was burned, so I pretended to eat ‘em till the phone rang and he went to answer it. I shoved ‘em in the trash under my napkin and pretended I ate ‘em while he was gone.

"I don't wanna hurt his feelin's. He's tryin' hard to take care of me, and I know how much he missed me when I was gone, so I just eat around the burnt. It makes Daddy happy when I have a clean plate. Can you cook like Miss Katie?" the boy asked.

Tim was terribly concerned about the kid. Ryan was small, and if he wasn't eating well, then Tim decided he needed to talk to Aunt Katie. "I thought your grandmother brought over food?"

"She just brings over supper. Daddy told her he could feed me durin' the day, and we do okay, just us bachelors. He says Gramma Jeri has enough to do without feedin' us. She works for the school in the office. She just went back to work, so she doesn't have as much time as she did during the summer. When I get taller, she said she'd teach me to cook, so Daddy don't kill us before I get to high school." Ryan released a little giggle before he shoved the last piece of muffin in his mouth.

Ryan had given Tim a lot of information to chew on… as he munched on a muffin of his own. He watched as the little cowboy finished his milk and wiped his mouth again. The mini-Matt was the cutest little guy Tim had ever met.

"You want another? You can take it with you while we go fetch Betsy. I think Hank let her out in the pasture this morning while the boys were cleaning stalls. Uncle Josh has apples in a bucket in the hallway, and I bet if we took one with us, we could catch her easy."

Ryan hopped down from the chair with a glowing smile. "That's a good idea. Can we take a muffin to Daddy? I don't think he ate his eggs neither," the boy asked. Tim could only smile. Ryan Earl Collins was a special little boy, and clearly, he loved his dad.

Tim grabbed the basket of muffins and a clean cup, filling it with coffee. He'd have to apologize to Matt for the taste of the black sludge, but Uncle Josh and the farmhands liked it that way, and Tim wasn't going to make waves on the farm. "Let's go," he told Ryan. The boy opened the office door and let Tim out, closing it behind them.

Uncle Josh's laughter was heard from the barn hallway, so Tim turned to see him talking to the handsome cowboy who had been the star of too many of Tim's dreams for the last ten weeks since they'd first met. Tim knew the night he went to Matt's place to fix his computer—the night the man had kissed him—it had freaked out Matt Collins. Tim damn sure wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Hell, it was a meaningless kiss…just like every kiss he'd shared with the few girls he'd dated in high school while trying to figure out his shit. Those kisses didn't mean anything, and the kiss from Matt Collins didn't either.

Ryan slowly walked down the hallway in front of Tim, obviously having been coached about running up on a horse. Even though the mare was staked tightly, Matt was in a vulnerable position with his back to the mare's head as he worked on the right, front hoof. Her hind leg could easily come up and strike him on the head. Thankfully, Princess was a gentle mare used to a pedicure, so Tim doubted she'd startle easily while Matt was working on her.

Tim could see the large F-250 King Cab truck parked outside the entrance of the barn with a small trailer hitched to it. The firebox on the trailer was glowing red-hot from the blazing fire inside. There were metal cabinets on one side, and tools attached to the other side. It looked custom-made and very old. Tim was instantly intrigued.

They walked to where Uncle Josh was sitting on a bale of hay in the hallway, watching Matt work. "Hi, Mr. Josh. Tim said he'd lead me around on ol' Betsy. Where's them apples?"

Matt glanced at them and smiled until his eyes met Tim's. Matt's face turned red, and he lowered his baseball-cap-covered head to continue his work without comment. "If it's okay with you, Mr. Collins, I don't mind catching Betsy and leading Ryan around the round pen for a while. Would that be okay?"

Tim really hated himself for putting the bull rider on the spot since he seemed to be trying to avoid Tim in the first place, but hell, the man had kissed Tim first. He just kissed Matt back.

In Tim's mind, he wasn't pining after Matt—not much, anyway. Tim damn well wasn't stalking Matt, but they were going to have to be able to speak to each other because it seemed the families were good friends, and the two men were bound to run into each other from time to time.

If they reacted strangely when they saw one another, people would begin to ask why. Tim didn't want either of them to feel they had to offer an explanation or a lie.

Matt gently lowered Princess' hoof to the sawdust-covered floor of the barn and turned to look at Tim as he gently brushed his hand over the mare's side. "Please, call me Matt. It's good to see you again. My laptop's workin' fine since you fixed my problem. Thanks again." The sincerity in his voice was easy to recognize.

Tim smiled at the man. "No trouble at all. That's what we do for our neighbors. Is it okay if I take Ryan for a ride on Betsy?" Tim asked the question again as the boy handed Matt a muffin from the basket.

"Damn, where are my manners. Would ya like a cup of coffee?" Tim offered Matt the mug from his hand.

The taller man slipped off leather gloves and accepted the coffee and the muffin. "Thanks. We were a little light on breakfast this mornin', weren't we, bud?" The gorgeous grin as Matt stared at his son made Tim's heart skip a beat.

Ryan giggled. "Sorry, Daddy. I ate some of ‘em."

Matt let loose with a belly laugh, totally blowing Tim's mind. There was no such thing as love at first sight, as Tim had learned over the years, but that laugh and the love in Matt's eyes as he gazed at his son? That might have been the thing to tip Tim over the edge. He was going to be a sad case of a lovestruck fool for a very long time.

"S'okay, bud. We're still learnin' together. Anyway, if Mr. Moran doesn't mind leadin' Betsy, I don't mind you ridin' her. You just listen to Ti… him." Matt gestured toward Tim.

Tim nodded and left the basket of muffins with his uncle and the handsome cowboy. He took Ryan's hand and led him down the hall to the tack room where he grabbed a blanket, a bridle, and a lead rope.

He pointed to the bucket of apples, and Ryan grabbed three. "We don't want the other horses to think we don't like ‘em, too." When the little cowboy's hands were full, Tim laughed and grabbed three more.

The pair walked down to the pasture where the horses were grazing on the late summer grass. Uncle Josh had two cuttings of premium hay from it earlier in the summer, so he was leaving the third cutting for the horses to clean up. The baled hay was in a barn the size of a gymnasium across the road on the other parcel of land Uncle Josh owned, ready for winter feeding.

The Katydid had put up nearly five thousand bales of hay, which was more than enough to get the farm and its inhabitants through the winter. Uncle Josh's view on it was if any of the neighbors needed hay, he was more than happy to load up a trailer and deliver it himself. He lived the Golden Rule every day and set a good example for Tim.

Ryan climbed up the plank fence and latched onto Tim's shoulder as they looked out at the pasture, taking in the sights. Tim never thought he'd be one to fall in love with the country life, but he had. Watching the horses lazily grazing or galloping through the fields brought a peace to his soul. Looking out at the grand vista reminded Tim of a postcard. How could anyone be unhappy with that view?

" Betseyyyy!" Ryan didn't waste any time hollering for the mare.

Tim turned to see the old mare under a large oak tree near the creek. She looked up, and when she saw Ryan waving his little hand in the air with an apple, she leisurely strolled up the hill to where they waited at the fence. Tim was glad they didn't have to walk down that hill to get her.

A few of the other horses started following her, and Ryan giggled. "Glad we brought extras." He climbed down and picked up another apple.

Tim tossed the saddle pad over the fence and hooked the bridle on top of a post, taking the lead rope with him to the gate. "You stay on this side while I get her. Some of these horses are new boarders, and I don't want you getting hurt, okay?"

"Okay, Mr. Tim," the boy answered.

"Just call me Tim, Ryan. We're friends now, so you can drop the mister." Tim stepped through the gate.

"Sure thing, Tim," the boy answered as Tim walked a few feet to meet Betsy.

The mare stopped in front of the gate and waited while Tim clasped the lead to her halter. He led her over to the gate and let the two of them through it while ensuring the other horses didn't follow.

Tim looped her halter around the gate and walked to where Ryan was standing as the other horses walked up to investigate their visitor. The little cowboy held an apple on his flat palm through the fence to a new gelding Josh had just taken in for boarding. The horse was gentle, or so Tim had been told, but he didn't feel too comfortable with Ryan feeding the horse without assistance.

"Here, Ryan, let's get you up here where I can keep an eye on the horses," Tim told the boy as he lifted the little cowboy to rest on his hip. He took the apple and put it on his flat palm with Ryan's hand beneath to guide it to the horse, for the sake of safety. When the horse took it, Ryan giggled. The two stood at the fence feeding apples to the horses until they ran out while Betsy waited patiently.

After he placed the saddle pad on the mare's back, Tim gently swung the boy up before he grabbed the bridle, feeding the bit into her mouth. She chewed it around until it was comfortable, and she whinnied softly, letting the pair know she was ready to go.

Tim handed Ryan the reins. "Hold these with one hand and hold onto her mane with the other. We don't have a saddle small enough for you, and I don't want you to fall."

Ryan reached forward to take a handful of mane and nodded. "I'm ready, Tim." With that, they were off.

Instead of leading the mare and boy to the covered, round pen, he led them around the upper pasture. Tim and Ryan had a grand talk about the boy's expectations for first grade. "I thought you'd be going into second grade," Tim made the mistake of voicing.

"I didn't go to school last year. We didn't live anywhere long enough for me to go, so I'm startin' now. I'm smart enough for second grade because Daddy and Gramma work with me on numbers and letters and stuff, but I don't wanna skip a grade. I'll be the oldest boy in my class," Ryan stated proudly.

Tim smiled and nodded at him. "I get ya. All the other boys will wanna hang with the big kid, ya know? You're gonna be a good leader for the littler kids." Tim hoped he hadn't made Ryan feel bad about starting school late. He'd have to ask Aunt Katie about it.

"And I'm not gonna be mean about it, either. I went to daycare for a while when Momma was workin' for a doctor one time, and the big kids who came after school were mean. I didn't like ‘em." Ryan was adamant about not being a bully, which Tim was happy to hear.

The computer nerd inside him nodded in understanding. He'd had his share of bullies in life, but it had only been harsh words. Well, except for his father.

Thankfully, nobody knew the real story when Tim showed up in Holloway after he'd graduated high school in New Jersey. Aunt Katie came up with a fabrication about his father being in the military. She said Tim's parents were in Japan but wanted him to stay in the States for college. That was why Aunt Katie and Uncle Josh took him in, or so they told folks back then when it was all too fresh and too painful for Tim to think about.

"Do you like to ride horses?" The question pulled Tim from the horrible memories rattling around in his head.

He loosened his hold on the lead rope and let Betsy continue meandering around the pasture with him walking by her side. Tim moved behind her head to place his hand on Ryan's leg. The boy's boots caught his attention because they were little roughouts, and they looked awfully cute on him.

"I ride Chester every once in a while. I didn't grow up around horses, but when Uncle Josh and Aunt Katie let me come live with them, I learned how to ride. I'm not very good at it, but I can keep myself from falling off. You seem to have a good seat on the back of a horse," Tim told the little cowboy as they continued to walk around the upper pasture.

"Gramma Jeri takes me ridin' with her on her mare, Lucy. We ride double. We check the fences on Saturdays at our place, and then check her fences on Sundays ‘cause they live up the hill from our place and we run cattle on their land, too. You ever check fences?"

"When I came here to visit during college, I'd take the four-wheeler we used to have and check the fences. I didn't really have much interest in riding horses back then. I was scared, I guess. When I graduated from college and came back home, I decided I was gonna learn how to ride, and Uncle Josh worked with me. I'm not great, but I'm not scared anymore." Tim was being honest.

They walked around the pasture for an hour, and Tim led Betsy slowly so Ryan didn't lose his place on her back. Tim had the lead rope over his shoulder and his hand on Ryan's leg, so he didn't slide around. The mare seemed to know she was carrying precious cargo because she didn't stumble one time.

Ryan and Tim talked about all kinds of things, from books and movies to sports, and it was one of the better conversations Tim had had recently. Aunt Katie and Uncle Josh weren't big on unnecessary discussions, and he'd adapted and became a man of few words as well.

Ryan, however, seemed to enjoy talking. Tim listened and answered a few questions the boy had asked about the horses or computers or how Tim thought first grade might be. It was a joy to listen to how Ryan's mind worked. He was a very intelligent kid.

Tim felt a vibration in his pocket, so he pulled out his cell phone, knowing it was either Aunt Katie or Uncle Josh. Nobody else had his number. "Hey."

"Timothy, can you bring Ryan up to the house? Josh convinced Matt to stay for lunch after he's finished with Josie. Your uncle is still determined to put shoes on that damn thing. He's asked Hank to bring Ethan over tomorrow to try to ride her." It wasn't a surprise that Aunt Katie was exasperated with Uncle Josh's fascination of the jenny.

The female mule, which was called a jenny, was about three. With the right stallion, she'd likely throw cute foals, Tim was sure. He had no idea why they wanted her shod.

"Okay. We're gonna turn Betsy back onto the pasture, and then Ryan and I will come up to the house. We'll hurry," Tim told his aunt.

Ten minutes later, they'd returned Betsy to the pasture and watched her trot down to the creek for a drink. Tim hoisted Ryan up on his shoulders before he gathered the saddle pad, bridle, and lead rope.

He trotted a little and both laughed as they made their way up the hill. Once the pair reached the barn, Tim hung the horse blanket over a gate to dry out and placed the bridle and lead on a hook in the tack room.

Tim started galloping toward the house, causing Ryan to giggle. Tim reached up and pulled the boy's hands down to clasp under Tim's chin.

"Whoa!" Ryan announced as they approached the yard.

The boy walked up the steps, stopping to clean his boots on the mat before he opened the back door and walked onto the screened porch. He pulled off his boots and placed them on the tray Aunt Katie insisted they all use.

They walked into the kitchen where Uncle Josh and Matt were sitting at the table with sweet tea. Ryan removed his cowboy hat and placed it on the bench by the back door, next to his father's baseball cap.

Matt's hair was slicked back, and Tim wondered if it was sweat or water. He truly wanted to bury his nose in that beautiful mop to take in the scent from the source.

"Come on, bud. Let's go get you washed up before Miss Katie sets the food. Did you have fun?" Matt rose from his chair.

"I'll take him. I need to clean up myself," Tim offered.

Ryan didn't hesitate to take Tim's hand and follow him down the hallway to the powder room. Tim hefted Ryan up and helped him wash his hands and face before doing the same.

Ryan took the towel Tim offered to dry off, and then he used it himself. Tim reached into the little cabinet to the side and pulled out a comb. "Hold still, dude," he told the boy as he combed the wavy, brown hair. He placed the comb back in the drawer and offered Ryan his hand, which he took with a grand smile.

In the kitchen, Tim helped Ryan into a chair where two phone books were waiting as a booster seat. "You okay?" He didn't want Ryan to fall, so when the boy settled in, Tim took a seat next to him.

"I'm fine, Tim. Miss Katie keeps these big books for when I come by. I like sittin' up high." Ryan picked up the plastic glass Aunt Katie put in front of him. He took a sip and smacked his lips, bringing a laugh from Tim, Matt, and Uncle Josh.

"Good lemonade, ma'am." Ryan was six going on sixty as Tim listened to him. It was so damn sweet, Tim felt a lump in his throat, wishing Ryan Earl Collins was his own son.

Lunch was an entertaining affair. Tim left Uncle Josh and Matt to talk between themselves as he turned his attention to Ryan because he knew he made the boy's father uncomfortable.

Tim didn't want to cause the man any distress, but he was sure Matt knew he was gay, and apparently, Matt hadn't settled on a team thus far. Tim remembered that confusion in his own life. Matt wasn't the first person he'd met who was so deep in the closet they just couldn't find a way out.