17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Matthew Collins wasn't the type of man to brag about his successes, nor was he one to shy away from admitting his failures. Every situation he'd endured made him the man he'd become, and he was still trying to determine if he was happy or pissed about it as he waited for his flight from Roanoke to Oklahoma City, then on to his final destination of El Paso… Fort Bliss, to be precise.

Sitting at that half-assed airport gave him too much time to miss the two loves of his life, but he didn't want to dwell on the absences. He looked around, not seeing anyone who he felt compelled to engage in conversation, so he took the opportunity of being alone with time on his hands to do a little stocktaking. It was beyond time to do something of the sort, so as he sat in the gate area, he thought about things he might have changed if he'd had the chance and forethought.

Matt had knocked up Roberta Stanford, no argument, but upon further consideration over the years, Ryan ended up being an eleven-month pregnancy instead of nine. He and Bertie had a son, and from the moment Matt laid eyes on the boy after he was cleaned up, he was in love with the child, nearly busting his buttons with pride as he stared at the boy through the glass of the nursery window.

When Matt came home between events, he'd sit in his son's room and hold the boy, happy to see the little smile on his face and listen to the gurgling noises he made as Matt rocked him. He wished for those first two years back, but at the time he was too selfish and only thought about himself and his ranking on the circuit. It was something he'd grown ashamed of.

Of course, back then, he had Lanny Whitehead keeping him sexually satisfied, so he didn't miss Bertie at all when he was on the road. Matt reasoned their sexual relationship wasn't really a threat to his marriage because he wasn't cheating on Bertie with another woman, and he wasn't fucking anyone.

Matt was the one on the receiving end back then, though he wasn't exactly thrilled about the situation because Lanny was someone who liked things rough. After their encounters, Matt's ass hurt a lot worse from the treatment it received from Lanny than any bull he'd ever ridden.

He knew he was missing things at home when it came to Ryan, but he needed to make the money in order to give the boy a promising future, or so he told himself at the time.

During the off-season, he worked with Ed Marshall to learn the farrier trade, and he was with Ryan as much as possible, going so far as to take the boy with him for jobs a time or two when Bertie had other things to do.

Matt was surprised how easily he'd warmed up to shoeing horses and concentrated on learning everything Ed was willing to teach him. He thought he had a handle on the future, and he wasn't worried about the time when he couldn't ride bulls anymore. He breathed easier once he felt he had a backup plan.

As if the universe wanted to remind Matt the backup plan was a good idea, the point was driven home at a Professional Bull Riding event in St. Louis. He drew a bull that would be his last ride—Strawberry Fields, a brown and white spotted American Brahman bull that was in the running for Pbr Bull of the Year.

Matt was bucked off at the three-second mark in spectacular fashion, getting a lot of height before he came down on his left arm, breaking his humerus in one quick snap . The titanium rod in his upper arm was a reminder that bull riding was a dangerous sport, and Matt was lucky not to have been killed by the eighteen-hundred-pound beast.

When he returned home and told Bertie he planned to quit riding bulls after that injury, she totally lost her mind. After she called him every name under the sun, she stormed out of the house and left him alone with his son. It didn't really hurt his feelings. He fed the boy as best he could with his arm in a cast, but the two of them played and laughed together. It turned out to be one of the best weekends of Matt's life up till that point.

Unfortunately, Bertie returned on Monday morning while Jeri was at his place to babysit Ryan since it was a cold and rainy day and Matt was scheduled to go out on a job with Ed Marshall. His mother had insisted it was no weather in which to take a baby, so she came over to spend time with her grandson, much to Matt's relief.

Bertie, being the master manipulator Matt had underestimated her to be, conned Jerilyn into believing her tantrum was over and she was ready to be home and take care of her family while Matt learned the farrier trade. She'd even gone so far as to tell Matt's mother how happy she was that Matt was home from the road and how much Bertie looked forward to the three of them starting over as a family.

Jeri was thrilled to hear things were headed down a good path that she went home with the belief her son and his wife would talk things over when he got home from work, and the couple would determine the compromises necessary to weather the storms of married life, just as every other couple learned to do.

Unfortunately, Matt returned home from his day and found the house empty. Bertie and his son were gone. He had no idea what to do next, so he did nothing. He sat in their white clapboard house and waited for Roberta to come home and bring Ryan back to him.

When Bertie called the first time and asked him for money, Matt didn't hesitate to wire it to her and hopped into his truck to go find them near the Western Union address she'd given him outside of Bristol, Virginia. By the time he arrived, they were long gone.

He'd learned from the clerk at the store that the money had been received, but then was transferred to a store in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The clerk couldn't—or wouldn't—provide any additional information. It wasn't the first time it would happen during the time Bertie kept his son away from him.

His then wife kept the boy away from him for three years to punish him for not giving her the opportunity to prance around the Pbr venues in too-tight jeans and a low-cut blouse. In Matt's mind, it wasn't right for the mother of his son to slink around like a whore, even if he didn't love her. Her desire to step out on him was what caused her to leave in the first place.

When she finally brought Ryan home to him, it was because Matt promised her a check for one-hundred-thousand dollars if she kept her word and left the boy in his care. It was the amount of his final year's winnings, but he wrote the check without question because he wanted Ryan home where he belonged. All the plans he had for the ranch would have to wait—his son was more important.

After he had Ryan at home, things settled for him, and they were working to get into a good routine. Everything was going along just fine until the day he walked into the Southern States with the boy to order large spools of hay twine and a new hay pick for the tractor, along with some fly spray for the upcoming summer.

When Matt first set eyes on Timothy Moran, his heart skipped a beat or two. He was the most handsome man Matt had ever seen, with blond hair and big, hazel eyes that seemed to glow when they cast their gaze on him.

It wasn't an easy road for the two of them, but they had finally arrived at the place Matt always wanted to be with the man who had filled many of his nights with wonderful dreams of what Matt wanted most…making a life, together. He wanted a stable life with Tim Moran and his son, and he wouldn't allow Bertie or her mother to fuck it up for him going forward.

"Please put your seat up," the flight attendant asked, drawing Matt from his memories as the plane landed. The emptiness in his heart from being away from his family would have to settle because he had something important to do.

Matt had to ensure his lush of a mother-in-law wouldn't succeed in taking away Ryan, nor would he allow Mona to cast doubt on his relationship with Timothy Moran as anything but a loving, nurturing environment to raise the boy. It hadn't been easy to hammer it out, but Tim was on the verge of moving in with them to start a life Matt had dreamed of for a long time.

"Sure, ma'am," he responded as he adjusted himself in the aisle seat of the small plane he'd taken for his connecting flight from Oklahoma City to El Paso.

Matt wasn't looking forward to his second meeting with Colonel Robert Stanford. As Matt remembered, the man was Army all the way, and Matt was the jackass who'd knocked up his daughter.

He knew the Colonel wasn't exactly fond of Mona or Bertie, but they were still his family. It remained to be seen what he'd think of Matt being gay and the dilemma he was facing with Mona's demand to have custody of Ryan.

When the plane touched down, the bull rider retrieved his cell phone, a relatively new thing for him, and checked it to see a text from his Timmy.

We're at the mall. It's like being in hell, really. Any ideas for your parents for Christmas? I miss you and you're not getting out of shopping, Matty. Be safe. Xoxo

Matt grinned as he read it twice, happy his guys were safe and having a day out together because he really had no idea how big the threat might be for Ryan to be taken from them.

Mona had contacted Bertie, and the two of them had joined forces to take Ryan away. Matt and his attorney had concluded it was because of the amount of money they believed Matt was earning with the advances he'd implemented at the ranch.

Both women had lived in Holloway at one time or another, and Mona had friends in town she'd kept in touch with. Everyone in town knew the Circle C was becoming more successful every breeding season, so he wasn't surprised they'd come at him for money—yet again.

Matt wasn't poor. He'd hidden most of his Pbr winnings with his parents before the couple married because he didn't entirely trust Bertie after they were suddenly faced with an unexpected pregnancy. After the divorce, he'd invested some of the money in the ranch to make it as successful as possible, but there was the money he'd given Bertie to bring Ryan back to him.

If he'd had any sense about him early on, he should have figured it out in the beginning. Bertie was only after money. Unfortunately, Matt had the tendency to be gullible back then and believed Bertie would keep her word. It was something that wouldn't happen again.

I'll think about the gifts. I miss you guys. Love you both. Matt

He sent the text as the plane finally stopped at the gate. After he collected his bag from the overhead bin, he headed to the rental car desk. He'd reserved a small car because he only planned to stay for a couple of days, and he was pretty sure he could find a cheap motel.

Folding his six-foot-five frame into a Toyota Corolla wasn't easy, but the car was thirty bucks a day, so he took it. He put the address the Colonel had given him into the GPS, and he followed directions. When he pulled up to the gate at Fort Bliss, he rolled down the window to speak with the soldier on duty.

"How can I help you today, sir?" the young man asked with a fairly blank, all-business, expression.

"I'm here to see Colonel Stanford. He's expectin' me." Matt presented his driver's license as the Colonel had instructed.

The young man looked at it and reviewed a list, finally giving Matt a firm nod after another soldier leading a very intimidating German shepherd nodded once the dog finished sniffing around the car. "Sir, just follow this route." The young man presented a photocopied map and traced out the route with a yellow highlighter.

With a thanks to the soldier, Matt drove away. He wasn't sure what to expect at the Colonel's home, but he needed the man's help.

Matt was pretty sure he was on shaky ground when it came to retaining custody of Ryan if the Stanford women found out he was gay, so he was going to appeal to the Colonel's sense of honor. Based on the things Bertie had told him, he didn't believe the Colonel had a lot of love for his family.

The man had a grandson he'd never met as far as Matt knew, and he was very interested in giving Ryan another strong role model. Matt prayed things fell his way, but he knew he might be walking into another lawsuit if Robert Stanford was a homophobe. However, Matt was willing to take the chance for the sake of his son.

He parked the car on the street in front of the two-story, brick federalist-style house with a well-manicured lawn. The weather was warmer in Texas than in Holloway, and things were still somewhat green with some still-flowering bushes.

Matt straightened his shirt and the blue sports coat he'd pulled out of his bag, praying it wasn't too wrinkled. He double-checked the front of his white shirt to see he hadn't spilled coffee on it as he tried to beef up his courage to make the walk to the front door.

Swiping the tops of his boots on the back of each denim-covered leg to clean off any dust, Matt buttoned the jacket as he started up the paved driveway. A few kids were outside riding bikes and playing basketball, and for a moment, Matt wondered if he was doing Ryan an injustice by not living in a similar neighborhood.

His son was relatively secluded at the ranch, but maybe if Matt discussed things with Tim, they could invite friends of Ryan's out to ride horses or maybe to play sports. Matt could have a slab poured and make a sports court next to the house, and they had his parents' place, just up the hill, where kids could swim and have a good time. It was something to discuss when he returned home.

Once Matt arrived at the front door, he cleared his throat to collect his nerves and rang the bell, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans to hide the shaking. The door was opened by a boy of about twelve with a short haircut—as if he were a new recruit.

The boy's face resembled pictures Matt had seen of Bertie as a young girl before her parents divorced. "May I help ya, sir?" the boy asked him, snapping Matt out his reverie.

"Uh, yeah… yes. Is the Colonel… I mean, is Colonel Stanford here? I believe he's expectin' me. I'm Matthew Collins." Matt extended his hand to the boy who just stared at it.

"Pop!"

Out of nowhere, a beautiful woman with flaming red hair appeared in a skirt and blouse with a bright smile on her made-up face. She looked like a beauty queen.

She had the same coloring as the boy when the sun shined on her in the doorway. "Mr. Collins, please come in. Robert is on the phone with Command, but he'll be right with you."

She extended her hand to invite him in. "I'm DeAnne Stanford, and this is our son, Robby. I think Savannah's around here somewhere. Please, come in."

Obviously, the man had remarried and found the right woman for him and his Army lifestyle. DeAnne appeared to be the epitome of a career officer's wife. In that moment, Matt could see how Robert and Mona's marriage could have never survived.

Matt walked into the house, absentmindedly reaching for his cowboy hat. When he realized it wasn't there, he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. It was a nervous tick, he believed, but in the current situation, it was a calming habit.

The slender woman showed Matt into an elegant living room and offered him a seat on a sofa next to a grand fireplace. He admired the shiny, hardwood floors and the rug under the furniture, wondering if he should ask Tim about redecorating the small, ranch house. Bertie had picked out most of the furnishings, but after she left with Ryan, Matt hadn't cared enough to think about changing anything.

"Can I get you some tea or maybe a coffee, Mr. Collins?"

Matt cleared his throat again. "Um, maybe a glass of tea, ma'am. I'm sorry to interrupt your holiday." He wished the Colonel had mentioned he had a family, but their phone conversation lasted about three minutes, and it centered on Mona and her threats.

The lady laughed lightly. "Now, don't give that any thought. Robert's anxious to hear about Ryan. I understand the other two are causing you grief. We'd like to help you as much as possible." The woman's cheery tone was interrupted by the sound of running feet.

Just then, two girls came into the room with bright smiles on their faces. They were holding hands, and when they saw people in the living room, they stopped. "Sorry, Mom. Andy came over while you were doing home visits. We're going shopping for sales. Can we bring you anything?" The young woman asking the question had long red hair and looked like Mrs. Stanford.

The other girl—Andy, he presumed—was a surprise. She was tall and solid, built like a softball player. She had brown hair, which was cut very short on the sides, showing the many piercings in her ears and the one in her eyebrow. The top of her hair was streaked with purple swatches, and the girl was in jeans and an old western-style shirt like Tim wore sometimes. She was relatively flat chested, from what Matt could tell, and she was wearing a nice pair of Ariat boots.

"Savannah, this is Ryan's dad, Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins, this is our oldest, Savannah. Andrea is her girlfriend." Matt was surprised to see Mrs. Stanford's proud smile. Unfortunately, both girls frowned at him.

Matt quickly gathered himself and stood, feeling a reality he hadn't even allowed himself to contemplate. "It's a pleasure to meet ya both. Ryan's at home with my partner, Tim. He's gonna die when I tell him about your family." Matt felt it was best to put it out there immediately that he was gay and had a male partner. If the Colonel's own daughter was a lesbian, Matt thought he had a chance.

"Nice to meet you. Got any pictures? Daddy didn't know much about Ryan." Matt pulled out his phone and showed them some of the pictures he'd taken of Ryan on horseback. Helping Tim make breakfast. Feeding bucket calves at the barn. Posing by his drawing of Josie that won him an honorable mention in a school art show.

"Oh, he's so cute." Savannah handed the phone to her mother, who looked at the pictures with Robby looking over her shoulder. They both smiled politely, but Matt thought he noticed interest on Robby's face.

He glanced at Matt, "How old is Ryan?"

DeAnne turned to her son, a look of concern on her face. When the boy smiled, she turned back to Matt, mirroring the smile. They were both interested.

"He's seven now. His birthday was just after the Fourth of July. That donkey is his Christmas present, Josie. He's just learnin' to ride. My partner, Tim, has an aunt and uncle who own a horse farm, and they're hidin' Josie for us until Christmas."

DeAnne handed Matt the phone and turned to her daughter with a smile. "Girls, you should go shopping. I don't need anything right now, but maybe next weekend we can all go together. Robby, you and I are going to drop off the care packages at the base community center, so go change into a decent shirt."

She turned to look at Matt. "I'll be right back with your tea and some coffee for Robert. Please, make yourself at home, Matt."

With that, she was out of the room as heavy footsteps traversed the wooden staircase. Matt prayed his orientation wouldn't freak out the Colonel.

Matt hoped his assumption was spot on that the Colonel was far more accepting than he'd have guessed. The things Bertie had said about her father gave Matt the impression the man was a hard ass, but if the man accepted a gay daughter, the chances he'd be fine with a gay man—or two gay men—raising his grandson.

When a shadow cast tall on the gleaming hardwood floor, Matt looked up and shuddered. He watched the man stroll into the living room in a pair of khaki slacks and a green, plaid shirt. Out of deference, Matt stood from his seat, nearly swallowing his tongue.

Robert Stanford was as large as Matt remembered from the rodeo in El Paso a handful of years prior. He had a stern look on his face, but he walked over to where Matt was standing to extend his hand. "Matthew. It's been a while." There was no emotion in the man's deep voice.

Matt suddenly had the urge to piss himself or run for the nearest exit, but he beat it down and drew himself up to his full height. He was a few inches taller than the Colonel when he didn't slump, which made him feel minutely better, but the man was an intimidating presence, to say the least.

"Sir, it's nice of you to take the time to meet with me. I hope it's not too much of an imposition."

Mrs. Stanford walked into the living room with a tray. A glass of ice with a small carafe of tea along with a small pot of coffee, cream, and sugar. It held sugar cookies shaped like turkeys with wild decorations on them, and there was some cut-up fruit. Matt imagined it was close to going to see the President.

The Colonel looked up and offered a smile Matt didn't expect to see. "Sweetheart, I gave Vanna my credit card. Will you please text to remind her we're not the Bush's? Last time she and Andy went shopping, I nearly had a panic attack when the bill came. How much do you two need?" The man took out his wallet, pulling out a wad of cash.

DeAnne Stanford kissed his cheek as she took all the money in his hand. "We're dropping off the care packages the kids put together on Wednesday. I'll bring you change. Love you, Rob."

She headed for the foyer but turned back to smile. "Get Matt to stay for dinner. I think the kids would like to hear more about Ryan." Without waiting for a response, Mrs. Stanford headed off.

Pounding footsteps came rushing down the stairs as Robby skidded into the living room. "Pop, after this thing with Mom, can I ask her to drop me at Pedro's house? His parents are havin' a party with their family from Juarez this weekend. He invited me. His mom makes the best tamales." The boy grinned.

The Colonel smiled and pulled his son into a hug. When they parted, the man reached into his front pocket and pulled out a twenty, handing it to the boy. "That's fine. Have Mom stop and buy some flowers for you to take to Mrs. Mendes. Also, text your sister and tell her to take herself and Andy out for dinner on me. I'm gonna take Matthew and your mother out to the steak house tonight. You got your key?"

The kid pulled it out of his pocket to show his father, and the Colonel kissed the top of the boy's head before Robby ran out of the house.

Colonel Stanford sat down and poured the drinks for the two of them. The Colonel started laughing as he doctored his coffee and reached for a cookie before he sank back into the seat of a nice leather chair.

"You look stunned, Matthew, which tells me you heard things about me from my daughter and her mother that led you to believe I was a hard-ass prick who ruled with an iron fist. I expected it from Mona, but Roberta knew better.

"When she was young, we were close. It was hard back then, what with us moving every few years, but I did my best to make them happy. Of course, in Mona's case, I don't think making her happy was a possibility. Anyway, that's all in the past so tell me what I can do for you. We only spoke briefly on the phone. Tell me what Mona's trying to pull this time." The man clearly knew his ex-wife.

For the first time since Matt had been dropped off at Roanoke-Blacksburg Airport… the smallest airport he'd ever seen… he exhaled a huge breath to release all the tension that had been building in his body since he decided to take the trip.

It didn't seem things were going to go as badly as he'd expected. He might have a chance with the father-in-law he'd never been able to get to know. He prayed it wasn't too much to hope for.