12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

"Where's our book?" It was later that night as Tim sat on the side of Ryan's bed.

Since he'd started spending more time at the Circle C, Tim and Ryan had gotten into the habit of the boy reading to Tim before bed. Ryan had little problem with reading multisyllabic words because he'd sound them out, much to Tim's surprise, but sometimes he had to explain the meanings because they were reading mystery chapter books for adolescents.

Ryan had an incredible imagination when it came to the stories the pair read, and they made a habit of only reading one chapter on school nights so they could talk about them a little before it was time for Ryan to go to sleep. For Tim, it was wonderful. It was like they had their own private book club.

"Can we just talk tonight? I have some questions I don't wanna ask Daddy, but I know you'll tell me the truth, Timmy. We're friends, right?" Ryan's face was so sincere, how could Tim say no. They were friends and more, in Tim's mind.

"You and Daddy kiss like Gramma and Papa, right? Is it okay for boys to kiss boys?"

Damn! I never saw that coming. The two men had thought they were being discreet, but apparently, they were only fooling themselves because they sure weren't fooling Ryan!

Tim squeezed Ryan's leg as he stood from the bed to step into the hallway. " Matthew! "

Tim waited a second before hearing the squeak of the desk chair which meant Matt was coming to Ryan's room from his office. Tim stepped back inside and sat in his usual spot. "When did you see your dad and me kiss?"

"I see'd it the night we went to Mexican. I woke up when we was at the Katydid and you two were on the front porch smoochy-smoochy. When I asked Papa ‘bout it, he laughed and said to ask Daddy. Then, I saw ya smoochin' and huggin' in the barn a bunch a times. I wasn't sneakin' around… honest." Ryan fidgeted with his hands, looking very nervous.

Tim smiled and placed his hands atop Ryans' hoping to reassure him it was fine that he had questions. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ryan. We should have paid better attention to who was around. So, um, you know how you have friends at school? Tommy Morrow?"

Ryan nodded in agreement, so Tim continued. "Well, your dad and I are friends, but we're special friends who like to hug and kiss sometimes. Um, there are men and women who are special friends, and there are women and women who are special friends, and there are men and men who are special friends. My Aunt Katie and Uncle Josh were special friends a long time ago, and they decided they loved each other enough to get married and be together for the rest of their lives." Tim was sure he was making a horrible mess of the whole thing.

Matt's soft footfalls alerted Tim to his presence before the man's large hand landed on Tim's shoulder as Matt sat behind him. "What's the topic of discussion tonight?" Matt rested his other hand on Ryan's blanket-covered leg.

"We're talking about special friends. You know, like you and me. Ryan asked about us kissing. Apparently, we're not as crafty as we thought." Tim glanced over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow, smirking at the surprise on Matt's face at having been caught.

After a second, Matt leaned forward and kissed Tim's cheek, pulling away with a huge grin before turning to his son. "Does it bother you that Tim and I are special friends?"

The boy sat up and leaned forward to whisper. "Does that mean you're fags?" Tim felt his stomach drop to his feet at the mention of the word.

Matt's body tensed at hearing the ugly word, one Tim had heard too many times in his life. Matt started to move away, but Tim grabbed the hand that was resting on his shoulder and held it to keep Matt where he sat.

"Ryan, where'd you hear that word?" Tim approached the matter gently, knowing the boy had no idea how disgusting and painful the term was.

Based on Ryan's expression, he'd figured out quickly the word wasn't a term of endearment. Tim was pretty sure Ryan had no idea why… exactly . "It's a bad word, isn't it?" the sweet boy whispered.

Tim squeezed Matt's hand again and turned to him. "We can let it go and wait it out if you're not sure about us. If you are, then we owe him the explanation. Why don't you get us some water and think about it?"

With all the shit Matt was facing regarding a custody fight with Mona, it was his right to keep Ryan in the dark about his sexuality. The boy had turned seven in the summer, and Matt had said he thought Ryan was still too young to explain the facts of life to him.

That was why Tim had tried to offer a vague explanation regarding the kissing. He wasn't sure, but Tim thought maybe it was better to give Ryan more information than it was to try to shield him from the truth.

Matt cleared his throat and reached for Ryan's busy hands to still them again. "It's not a cuss word, bud. It's a mean word ugly people use to talk about stuff they don't understand. See, I love Timmy like Papa Marty loves Gramma Jeri. When I see him come into the house, or the office, or even the barn, it makes my heart happy like we talked about before, which is why I kiss him. I want him to live here with us, and if he ever agrees, he'll sleep in my room with me, not in the guest room where Gramma sleeps when she stays over sometimes."

Ryan lay back down, though Tim could tell he was still listening. Thankfully, Matt continued.

"Love is different for everybody. Sometimes, boys love boys or girls love girls, but that don't make it wrong, okay? It just makes it different, which isn't a bad thing. Not everybody agrees it's okay, which is why people use words like fag or faggot. It's not nice to use those words because you could hurt someone's feelings if you say them, and I know you'd never do that on purpose."

Tim believed the explanation was eloquent, and in that moment, he couldn't have loved the bull rider more. His heart was ready to explode with all the love inside it for Matthew Collins.

"You mean like when Brian James said Momma was a slut that time?"

Tim was stunned by Ryan's comment, but when he looked at Matt, the man winked. "Exactly. Brian James heard that from his Uncle Keith because your momma used to date him when she was in high school before we met. It was a mean thing for Brian to say, but I guess when Keith and your momma broke up, Keith might have been mad and called your momma names. You know how mean kids can be when they're mad? Well, adults can be even worse." Matt patted the boy's leg and gave it a little squeeze.

When Ryan yawned, Tim leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "I'm gonna go clean up the dinner dishes. You and Daddy snuggle a little while. I'll see you on Thursday, bud."

The Collins and Simmons families were planning to have Thanksgiving dinner together at the Katydid. Aunt Katie had insisted she should host since Katydid had a bigger kitchen and dining room, so she and Jeri had agreed to cook together and invite all the ranch and farm hands who had nowhere else to go. Tim volunteered to help, and he was looking forward to learning from the masters.

"I love you, Timmy."

A lump formed in Tim's throat at the boy's words, but he swallowed it down, not wanting to embarrass either of them.

He gave the boy a broad grin. "I love you, too, kiddo. We're partners in crime, remember? We'll go for a ride at the farm on Thursday afternoon while the turkey's cooking." Ryan returned Tim's smile and nodded before Tim left the room.

After he finished loading the dishwasher, the fridge door opened behind him. "Beer?"

Tim closed the dishwasher and turned to look at his man before he dried his hands. Matt's very attractive ass was sticking out as he bent over to grab the bottles.

"Naw, babe. I need to get home. Was he okay?" Tim tilted his head toward the hallway where Ryan's room was located.

Matt chuckled as he took a seat in a kitchen chair, putting the beer on the table as he reached for Tim. He pulled him closer and lifted him onto the table in front of him. "He asked if we were gonna get married like Mom and Dad, and he asked if we could get a dog when you lived here because he thought you'd like company in the office when you're workin'. He's a conniver, I'll tell ya."

Tim couldn't hold the giggle when he put his hands over Matt's larger ones resting on his thighs. Matt moved his chair closer to Tim, his eyes not leaving Tim's face. "He's a very intelligent little man, Matt. He's like seven going on twenty-seven."

Matt laughed as well before he pulled Tim to straddle his lap, surprising the younger man. "Now, that's better. So, you're movin' in when? I really want you and Chester to be settled before Christmas so when we bring Josie over, she'll have familiar comp'ny. Josh has that new Appaloosa stallion, Chief. He's that small, gaited horse. I think that'd be a cute foal if we bred Josie to him."

Chief was a six-year-old stallion Uncle Josh took as a trade for a mare, Pegasus, that one of the boarders had given him. They couldn't afford the board because the husband lost his job, so they gave Josh the mare in lieu of payment.

Uncle Josh had found the little stud horse on the internet and liked his lines, so he negotiated a trade with the seller in West Virginia. The smaller horse had plenty of get-up-and-go, as Uncle Josh had told him when he bought the stallion home.

When Josh and Katie went to pick up the horse, they stayed an extra day to go to the casino and horse races in Charlestown. They had a good time and suggested Matt and Tim might want to try it sometime.

"Yeah, well, maybe we let Ryan have his time to ride her before you get her knocked up with a family." Tim was teasing, which brought a fantastic laugh from Matt before he brushed his lips over Tim's, reminding him why he was ass-over-appetite in love with Matthew Collins.

Tim wrapped his arms around Matt's neck and threaded his fingers in the man's dark, silky hair. Matt's hands were resting on Tim's ass, kneading his cheeks like they were sourdough. It felt good, and once again, Tim wanted to throw himself at the bull rider and take him to bed, but then the other shit crept in regarding Matt's mother-in-law and her desire to upset a happy family.

He pulled away and stared into those stunningly beautiful, blue eyes of Matt's. "I love you, Matthew, but I think, maybe, we should slow things down until you deal with the issue of Mona. You can't give her any reason to challenge your custody of Ryan. I'm afraid, with the political climate here in Virginia, a relationship between the two of us would be like a gift from the gods for her case if she got the right judge."

Tim whispered the words because saying them in a regular voice made it too real. Feeling the bull rider's arms around him was like a dream Tim didn't want to wake from.

Matt smirked and pulled Tim closer, rubbing their hard cocks together through their clothes. "I'm not gonna let that crazy bitch come between us, Timmy. I'll handle her, you got my word on that. I won't push you into stayin' tonight, but I want you here this weekend, please? I thought maybe we could take a ride up to DC and show Ryan the sights. It's supposed to be a nice weekend, and I got us a room at a little hotel in Arlington, not far from the Metro. What do you think? We can go up on Saturday morning and spend the night. You game?"

How could Tim say no to such a wonderful invitation? "Sounds perfect." He leaned forward and kissed Matt again as the man wrapped his arms around Tim tightly. The embrace was orgasm inducing.

Tim was certain of the decision as if a neon light were hanging over Matt's head. "Take me to bed and make love to me."

Tim knew it was a big deal to both of them because it meant a commitment Tim had been hesitant to give… but he couldn't deny how much he loved Matt, and he was more than ready to show him.

Giving himself to Matt Collins seemed to be the perfect way to show the universe how happy he was that the man had come into his life… even if it was only that one time.

If Tim believed in all the negative signs flashing in front of him, it was as though the fates were conspiring against them on a daily basis—the latest being Mona's interest in gaining custody of Ryan. Things have been going too smoothly. It was bound to happen that everything would catch up and eventually implode." Tim cringed at the thought.

In his opinion, giving Matt his virginity seemed like a fitting send-off. He doubted he'd love again, but while he had the man's love, he was going to embrace it.