Thirty-four

"You don't get to die yet." Noor's desperate voice filtered through the darkness. "You can't leave me in the middle of all this shit and expect me to dig my way out. Not today," she muttered, but I could feel fear behind the words. Fear that I shouldn't be able to recognize. Not when I was dead.

"You aren't dead. Not yet."

I must have said the words out loud, but when I tried to respond, a rough groan burst out instead.

Noor's voice echoed around me once more, but my insides were twisting together, burning, a river of lava running through me instead of my blood.

I howled, arching my back, the pain worse than the sword lodged in my body and piercing my intestines.

"I've made the best healing blend of zoraat I know. If this doesn't work, you're officially too stubborn to listen to anyone else."

"That's rich coming from you." I coughed the words out, my voice wet, my tongue tasting metallic.

Suddenly Noor's face snapped into focus, her features sharpening, her concerned gaze flooding my view. I blinked a few times and scowled at her.

She released a startled gasp and clasped her hands to her face. "It worked!"

I coughed and sat up. Noor helped me, pressing her hand to my stomach as if she were trying to feel for something. Belatedly, I realized there was nothing there.

Darbaran's scimitar was gone.

Why isn't it there?

Warmth trickled through my stomach, the feeling of djinn magic being used on me, instead of me using it myself.

I snapped my gaze to hers.

"You consumed zoraat? But what about your vow?"

Noor pursed her lips, her hands shaking against my stomach. "I couldn't just leave you to die in the courtyard, could I?" I didn't miss the catch in her voice.

I stared at her, an unfamiliar lightness filling my chest. "Yeah," I scratched out. "You could have."

She shook her head. "Well, I didn't. And you should be grateful."

I touched my stomach, prodding at the area that had just been a gaping hole. Now the skin was unbroken, not even a scar to speak of.

"It's completely gone," I said, my voice filled with wonder. I had seen djinn magic change the bones of my face, the skin on my body, but this seemed somehow bigger than that.

"I don't even feel pain anymore." I poked at my abdomen.

"Well, I can't promise you won't still get cramps on a monthly basis, but at least you aren't dying of a stomach wound anymore."

"All the djinn power in the world and it can't even get rid of cramps?" I propped myself up on my elbows feeling as if I'd aged a hundred years.

She smiled, but it faded just as quickly.

"I thought you were dead," she said finally, sitting back on her heels.

" I thought I was dead. And I thought you were about to die. You shouldn't have gotten involved. I was handling him."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure you were. Darbaran was about two seconds away from stabbing you and me. At least he only got one of us."

"You're welcome." I glanced over to his lifeless body on the courtyard, surrounded by a dark pool of blood. "How long was I out?"

"Not long, a couple minutes. I checked the guards too. He killed two of them, the other two were just knocked out."

I exhaled, a familiar pain lancing through my heart at the additional lives on my conscience. "Darbaran should have never gotten in."

"We'll double security." Noor thought for a minute. "And I'll dump his body in the fields outside of the city."

I snorted. "It's what he deserves." I stood up, my legs so shaky that Noor had to support me.

"You showed him your face." Her words were quiet. I lifted my hands to my face, touching features and skin and hair I hadn't felt in weeks. It felt good to be in my own body again.

"I wanted him to see who was responsible for his downfall."

Noor bit her lip.

I narrowed my eyes. "What is it?"

"Did you hear what he said about wanting you to be executed? But ‘that boy' prevented it from happening? Do you think he was talking about Mazin?"

"Probably," I said, resigned. "I don't really know what he meant." I shrugged. "Mazin likely wanted me to suffer as much as possible."

I leaned back and looked up at the sky, bright with stars. I remembered other stars, on other nights, and the person I'd been looking up at them with had been him. Perhaps Mazin couldn't bring himself to have me killed after everything we had shared. Perhaps he wanted me imprisoned but not dead.

I shook myself. Nothing good would come of thinking that way. My father was still dead. And Mazin hadn't said a word to defend me when I was arrested.

It was the same as if he had killed me.

Noor looked as if she wanted to say something else.

"What is it?"

"Or…" She held up her hands at my expression. "Hear me out. Or he was saving your life."

I turned to look out the north window, the palace lit up in gold. I felt like I was being pulled in two—that raging, dark vengeance ready to light Basral on fire, and that other part of me that felt alive and free when Maz kissed me again.

But which half of me would win?

And which did I want to?