Chapter Five

As Sebastian was on hold, waiting to speak with my doctor from the hospital, a thought occurred to me.

“Do I have a phone?”

At the OC my phone was basically just used for everything except getting in contact with someone. An app for shopping deals? Yes. An app disguised as a social media platform to talk about omega rights? Also yes. Any phone numbers beyond my assigned doctor and all the required ones for the employees at the OC? Unfortunately, also, also yes.

“I’ll get it,” Han said. “I plugged it in, upstairs in your room.”

“Oh, I can—”

Jackson bent down, gently pushing his shoulder into my stomach before lifting me up. He was surprisingly gentle considering I was essentially upside down. “No stairs.”

Behind Jackson, Zeke winked at me, the male still only dressed in his boxers. The others were more dressed, at least slightly. Jackson wore a thin flannel jacket, unbuttoned so his stomach and chest were exposed. I swore I could feel the heat of his body where my thigh met his skin.

Sebastian was in a pajama set that almost looked like a suit as he paced between the kitchen island and the back of the living room couch. The two rooms were basically one considering how open they were. It made me wonder where the dining room was, but I guessed I would have a chance to explore properly later.

Carefully, Jackson lowered me off his shoulder, setting me down on one of the couches. There were three, all different, making a semi-circle toward the large brick fireplace that housed a television. The couches were silky and firm, and wide enough that they could probably pass for beds if needed.

In between each couch was a cute woven basket. When Zeke lifted the lid, I noticed it was full of blankets, more sarapes. Offering me one, I shook my head, and he took one for himself, gently placing it on his lap as he sat down on my left side.

Jackson sat on the low table set up in the middle of the living space. It was at the right height for someone to rest their feet on except the clues on the top clearly showed it wasn’t meant to be a bench.

Someone had attempted to weave some fabric together, and considering how badly misshapen it looked, they weren’t doing a very good job. I’d always wanted to be an artsy kind of girl, I just never actually sat down and did it. Maybe I could pick it up and try with my alpha. Could be a good bonding experience. Or maybe I’d already learned how to do it and I was teaching my alpha. Hopefully I didn’t lose that skill and it was more instinctual than from knowledge.

Han came thumping down the stairs, his feet slapping against the hardwood flooring. He kissed the top of my head as he handed me a phone that was apparently mine.

It looked somewhat familiar. Just larger than I was used to, although not bulky. Tapping the screen, it showed a lot of notifications. Like, a lot. Some were from familiar apps, like the one where I found out where upcoming protests were happening. Most seemed to be messages though.

Dismissing everything, I stared at the photos as they appeared. So many. Full of a life I’d lived and couldn’t remember. I looked happy, that was something, but it was weird to see me in a way I didn’t know. Were we even the same person? Would that version of Hannah and myself react the same without knowing the experiences that made us who we were?

I jolted when hands touched my folded legs, having been so deep in my thoughts. Next to me, Zeke had reached over, his hand on my thigh and precariously close to my core. Han had appeared on my other side, kneeling in front of the couch and touching my knee. In front of me, Jackson had leaned closer, too, his elbows on his knees like he was a moment away from just grabbing me off the couch and pulling me onto his lap.

“We’ll make new memories,” Han said.

I nodded, trying to give him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want new memories, though—no I did, I just also wanted my old ones too.

And worst of all, I couldn’t seem to control my emotions. These pictures made me feel so disconnected with myself that I wanted to cry. It felt like my range of emotions were too extreme on either end, refusing to balance out and give me just a moment of peace.

I tried to find some inner happiness to pull on, something to replace the dissociation or to temporarily convince me that it was fine to forget large portions of my life. I found that happiness in remembering my first protest. It was a march, such a simple thing, and yet, I’d lied to the OC specialist assigned to me about where I was going. I’d slipped my alpha guard. The entire time I had been terrified, but it was so exhilarating.

That’s who I was. Determined. Brave. Fucking intelligent beyond the means of any other omega in existence.

I forced myself to feel better, tucking away the dark emotions.

“You all good, princess?” Sebastian came into the room, no longer on the phone and a deep frown over his features.

“Fine. Did the doctor give his permission for rough fucking?”

He chuckled, his gaze seeming to drop to the others. “We were recommended to wait as long as possible before giving in to your heat. Apparently, the trauma you sustained could cause your mind to react poorly to highly intensive situations.”

His words jogged my memory of something I’d wanted to ask. “So, what happened? Like—” I raised my hands before gesturing to absolutely nothing.

“To put you in the hospital?” Seb asked.

I nodded. “You said I was pushed by an officer?”

“Pulled technically,” Han said. The amusement in his tone died quickly, like he still couldn’t even make the joke.

Sebastian told the story, at least from how much they saw. No one knew what happened that caused me to run from the protest, or why the officer was chasing me. According to them, they’d gotten so distracted by my injury that they forgot to notice the officer. Or the asshole running away.

Out of everything, what shocked me the most was that I was even at a protest. And these alphas didn’t seem to care. They knew I was out in public without a chaperone.

“How come you all weren’t there?” It was an innocent question. A genuine one, too.

That didn’t stop the tension in the room from growing. I could scent the changes in the alphas, all of them, radiating guilt and shame. The dark emotions were turning their scents bitter, filling up the large living room until I felt like I was choking on it.

“Next time,” Jackson gritted out, “we’ll go with you. We won’t leave you alone again.”

Um, that wasn’t exactly what I’d asked. And despite the strong statement, both Han and Sebastian didn’t seem to be on board. They shared a look, somehow a mix between worried and unsure.

“Jackson, we should talk about this,” Seb said.

I tried to figure out what this division was. Were Sebastian and Han not in agreement that I should be allowed to go to protests? The two alphas did radiate a more prestigious vibe. Wealthier alphas almost required an omega in order to be taken seriously in society. Without one, alphas seemed too wild, too young, too poor.

Rather than wonder and pine secretly for an answer, I stared back and forth between Han and Sebastian, demanding, “You don’t think I should protest omega rights anymore?”

Sebastian shook his head while Han immediately tightened his grip on my leg, saying, “That’s not what he means. Of course, you should still protest. None of us agrees with the strict omega laws.”

“What do you mean, then?”

On my opposite side, I could scent Zeke’s emotional shift to amusement, but I didn’t take my attention away from the other two alphas.

Seb adjusted his clothes, fidgeting slightly before managing any words. “My family—mine and Han’s—are well-off. Not just financially, but socially.”

My nose wrinkled in distaste which made everyone chuckle.

“Yeah, we know,” he continued. “But at some point, we had decided it would be better to maintain the fa?ade that comes from our family names.”

Han squeezed my leg, dragging my attention to him. “We did it to protect you. Omegas are barely afforded any rights as it is, if the OC, the public, found out an omega was protesting, we don’t know what that would mean for your designation. Most of the protests are done by betas. Whenever an alpha joins the forum in your app, you don’t attend.”

I frowned, unable to help it. How many protests was I missing because of this ‘rule’?

“Plus,” Seb added, “It also means we have the ear of certain important people.”

That got my attention. “Really?”

“I work for a lab that’s big with pharmaceuticals.” He laughed when he saw my expression drop. “Trust me, it feels distant in the chain of power, but it’s not nothing. And Han’s family—”

“My family is rich. Old money. At the minimum, it helps convince people to look the other way. To accept a handshake filled with cash so we can get something done.”

That made me feel … better. I’d apparently given up a little, but I wasn’t alone anymore. And if we were negotiating new rules about being at protests or not, I had some thoughts to share.

It was Jackson who brought the conversation back on track, simultaneously pulling me out of my thoughts. “None of us knows what happened between Hannah being at the protest and where we found her. Did the officer mark her as an omega? Did she do something—”

“Hey.” I glared at the alpha for the baseless accusation.

He just snorted. “Don’t even bother, rebel. We know exactly who we mated. You’re no innocent little omega.”

Despite the words, I preened.

My hand started buzzing, more messages coming in on the phone. I felt bad ignoring them, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the other Hannah’s friends. She might have had good taste in mates, I just didn’t know if that would extend to random people. Anyways, I wouldn’t get the jokes, the references. It was better to just wait.

“We’ve had this conversation a lot.” Seb started pacing, staying in the room, just walking a few steps behind the little table Jackson was perched on. “Going with Hannah alerts everyone that there’s an omega protesting. It’ll cause a social epidemic.”

“She can’t go alone anymore,” Jackson argued. “If they’d grabbed her, we’d have never known.”

“We just need a new system.” Zeke’s words caught everyone’s attention. Leaning back against the couch, the hand not touching me laying on the top of the cushions, he looked completely relaxed in this conversation. “Maybe we go but pretend to not know Hannah. Arrive at different times. Someone can protect her, and it might even act like a fake confirmation that no omega is present.”

I nodded my head so hard I had to stop because the pain in the back of my head almost gave me an instant headache. “I like that idea.”

Sebastian and Han seemed to consider this option, having their own private conversation. It must be nice to know someone so well that you could communicate silently with them.

“We’re not saying no,” Sebastian started. He stared right at me as he said the words before turning his attention to Jackson. “But I would like to remind everyone that all four of us are easily recognizable.”

I glanced down at my clothes. They were still the same borrowed pajamas that I wore out of the hospital, so definitely not my style. Still, I couldn’t imagine my style as one that blended in. Unless…

I gasped. “Am I boring now? Do I wear sad beige clothes like the beta counselors tried to convince me was somehow better on my instincts? Color theory is bullshit, by the way. There’s no way that rhinestone bras and fishnet mittens make any difference in my temperament.”

Still sitting on the small table, Jackson leaned closer, pinching my chin between his thumb and fingers. “Take a deep breath, rebel.” He waited, actually waited until I’d done as he said, even if my breath was more of a puff of annoyance. “You’re still you. Putting together crazy outfits that we tear off you because we can’t stand not fucking you when you beam at us, so full of pride at whatever you’ve made that we actually get jealous of the fucking clothes you bedazzled and shit.”

“Oh.” His words were nice, probably, but it was his grip on my face, his stern glare, the way his crisp scent seemed to become stronger—

It happened faster than a blink. One moment, I was sitting on the couch, indulging in my mate, and the next, I was in Jackson’s lap, my knees spread on either side of him as my lips hovered just a breath away from his. I wanted to taste him. He was mine, after all. I’d claimed him.

Except it wasn’t me that claimed him. So, this last bit of distance made me hesitate.

Jackson didn’t.

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me that last inch to his lips. Kissing him was different than Zeke. Jackson’s bottom lip was thicker, giving him a perfect pout that I kissed and licked and bit. He let me explore, taking my time, but I wasn’t under any illusion that I was the one in control.

When I pressed my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, I groaned, pressing closer to him like I could somehow fuse our bodies together, wanting to get closer than was even possible.

On and on the kiss went, my arousal growing stronger, until I had to pull away just to breathe. I rested my forehead against his, enjoying the feel of his length, hard and pressing in between my thighs.

I wanted more. My perfume was filling the air, letting everyone know how much I enjoyed that. I felt my internal muscles twitch, clamping down on nothing, reminding me that I was empty. Obviously, my body wanted more, wanted me to act on my arousal. This make-out session was a tease, and omegas never do well with that.

Leaning back, I stared at Jackson’s brown eyes. Their color was dark, almost blending into the black part of his iris, yet still vibrant, almost like the color was glowing. I traced my thumbs under his eyes, admiring his masculinity.

He leaned forward, giving me one last kiss on my lips before resting his head on my shoulder. I felt his arms tighten even further around me.

For just a moment, I swore I could scent grief in his scent, just a hint of it before I lost the slight tendril.

As he sat up straight, I tucked my head against his chest. It felt … normal. My entire body relaxed into the position as if it was something familiar.

“Out of all of us, I think I’m the least recognizable,” Zeke said, bringing the conversation back on track as if they hadn’t just watched me learn the taste of one of my mates. “I could go with Hannah. Might even be able to appear like a beta?”

Lifting my head off Jackson’s chest—and ignoring the grumbling sound of annoyance—I looked over at Zeke. He might be the smallest of all the alphas in this room, but that didn’t make him any less alpha. It was more than just his ripped body or his height. Sure, alphas were typically strong and tall and whatnot. But omegas were usually quiet and fragile and small.

I was only one of those things. Unless I was wearing my platform boots, then I was none.

Zeke had the type of dominance that you’d only overlook once because you wouldn’t get the chance to do it again. His size wasn’t a weakness, it was camouflage. One look might have you dismissing him, but as soon as you looked away, you’d feel the pinprick warning on your neck that a predator was behind you.

Shaking my head, I admitted, “You’d never pass as a beta.”

His chest seemed to puff up slightly, like he was proud of that statement. I hid my smile against Jackson’s chest, enjoying the silent rumble coming from the large male.

“Do we even need to figure this out now?” Han asked. “It’ll be some time before Hannah goes to another protest.”

Since Han was almost directly behind me, I couldn’t turn my head to see him, and I was way too comfortable with Jackson’s purring to glare at him for his comment.

My silent annoyance didn’t go unmissed though.

“You’re still injured, Hannah,” Han continued. “Not to mention your heat will be soon. Both of those factors aren’t to be taken lightly. These protests are important, but not more so than your health.”

I mumbled out an apology, hiding the blush on my cheeks from the chastisement. When he said it that way, it all sounded so logical. It seemed like I kept getting overly defensive of everything. Yet at every turn, these alphas proved they cared about me. It was startling and disjointing.

“There’s something else that I think we’ve forgotten to mention,” Sebastian said.

I turned my head so I was leaning my opposite cheek on Jackson’s chest and could see Seb as he spoke. He was closer now, no longer pacing.

“One of the reasons you haven’t been to a lot of protests recently, was because you’ve been taking some online classes. You didn’t want to risk getting detained to the compound and not being able to finish.”

It took my brain a while to make the connection. School was never really my thing, hell, I barely even attended the mandatory classes at the OC. Plus, omegas weren’t allowed to continue school after they packed-up. Technically it wasn’t a law, although anyone who had heats wasn’t allowed in a classroom, so it basically was. Designation bigots didn’t need to use the proper terms to make unjust rules, they easily attacked the symptoms, claiming innocence afterward.

“College classes?” It was a question, a clarification, because I didn’t understand how that was even possible.

Seb nodded. “We told you. Our families give us a sort of pull, a safety net of sorts that allows us to weave lies right above it. The classes are online only, and you’re technically labeled as a beta, but you’re a student at the local community college. You have a real profile backed by fake lab results that I submitted. Your first name is the same, but we changed your last name so you’re not completely traceable.”

I didn’t truly understand how any of this was possible—and I didn’t care. I was taking college classes. Maybe even able to get a degree as a beta. What that would mean for the omegas’ rights movement … I wasn’t exactly sure, but it would be substantial, it had to be.

Excited energy was rushing through my body until I was squirming to get out of Jackson’s lap. He growled playfully before letting me go.

I couldn’t hold still, wanting to pace, wanting to look at my classes, needing to know more. At some point, I’d grabbed Sebastian’s shoulders, needing to go up onto my tip toes to do so. “What degree plan am I on?”

“You haven’t decided yet.”

That didn’t make any sense. I’d looked at colleges before. Hell, I’d even applied, over and over again, constantly being denied because of heat-protection laws, or because my previous education grades weren’t good enough, or because my supposed application got lost. It was always something that stopped me from being able to legally attend—beyond my basic designation.

Apparently, a no wasn’t bigoted if it wasn’t directly stated that designation was the reason why. What a fucking joke.

Still, I’d looked at plenty of course catalogues. There were so many options! Art or science or math or literature or technology, it was so open to possibilities that I understood being overwhelmed.

“Can I apply to a major still?” I asked, unable to keep the hopefulness from my voice.

“Of course, princess. You’ll just have to wait until the start of the next semester, apply like everyone else.”

My smile was so wide that it was burning my cheeks, the muscles in my face straining to hold the happy composure. I bounced on my toes, ignoring the slight pounding that was starting in the back of my head.

I wanted to look at the options right then. I looked around for a laptop, quickly giving up when my attention snagged on my phone. Good enough.

Throwing myself back in between Zeke and Han, I started on my phone, trying to work it out so I could search through my options.

Options. It was my new favorite word. I’d been so unfamiliar with it for so long and now it was like a rainbow, the colorful lights arching in a smile, representing beautiful possibilities at their ends.

I was still trying to figure out all the apps on my phone when my screen popped up with an image of a random female. And then, in my panic, as the ringtone started, I tossed the device across the room.