Chapter 12

The sauna, or bastu as Bj?rn insisted on calling it, left me so mellow I could have fallen asleep.

The waves lapped at the dinghy, the electric motor buzzed quietly, and the gray sky was slowly turning darker. I hadn't even bothered to check the time.

"See, this is what I love about Sweden," I said. "You can be out in the forest or on a lake for an entire day without meeting a single soul."

Bj?rn looked around, smiling. "Twenty-eight million hectares of forests, ninety-seven thousand lakes, only ten million people, most of them in three cities. Low population density has its perks."

"Do you like being alone a lot?"

He glanced at me worriedly as if I'd asked a trick question. "I think I do. Not all the time, but…often. When I was at university in Uppsala, I would go hiking on weekends to escape the busy town."

"Uppsala is not even that big."

"There's people everywhere." His lip curled in genuine disgust.

I laughed. "I hear you. I used to think I was an extrovert, but I loathe crowds, and socializing in groups exhausts me even when I'm having fun. I need to recharge in solitude."

"A classroom full of kids must be a nightmare for hours on end."

"Nah. The kids are great. It's a little like with the sauna. The beauty is in the contrast. I love coming to school on Monday morning after a quiet weekend, and I love coming to my cottage after a noisy day at school."

He scrutinized me, his expression thoughtful. "Makes sense. So you don't mind living out here in the middle of nowhere?"

Was that a trick question?

"Buying that old cottage and moving here has been the grandest adventure of my life," I told him.

When we reached the opposite shore of the lake, we tied the boat to an iron ring set in a granite rock and walked back to Bj?rn's car, parked on the roadside. We drove to my cottage in silence.

As soon as the door closed behind us, I launched myself at him. We barely made it to the living room before he was on his knees with my cock in his mouth.

"Don't come. I want to suck you too."

He let go of my cockhead and looked up, all wild and disheveled.

"Sixty-nine?"

"Fuck yes. Upstairs, bed, naked."

We stumbled up the ancient, creaking stairs, dropping our shirts as we went. Bouncing on my bed, we pulled our socks off and Bj?rn crawled around to get to my cock. Then his warm mouth slid down my length, and his dick bobbed in my face. I closed my eyes and sucked.

Heaven.

I'd been ogling his bare body for most of the day. Covered in sweat and droplets of water, naked in the great outdoors, he'd looked like a Nordic god. The humid hell in the sauna and the chilly lake water had been enough of a barrier not to go crazy with lust. But now I had him on my bed, more than six feet of solid male body, and I got greedy. I grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands, digging my fingers into them, then I found his hole with my fingertips and rubbed the closed rim. Bj?rn groaned around my cock, his hips jerking. With my mouth full of his precum, I slicked up my finger and prodded at his hole.

He hummed in encouragement, a muffled but clear "Uh-huh."

I sucked him deeper, hollowing my cheeks and stroking his length with my tongue while I pressed my fingertip inside his softening hole.

His mouth loosened around my cock, and he moaned loudly, sounding helpless.

I wanted to make him fall apart, weak with pleasure. He was so strong and capable, like the proverbial alpha male, but without arrogance and entitlement. Could I pick him apart and make him whimper and plead?

Rotating my hand for a better angle, I searched for his gland but couldn't get anywhere like this. I pushed him onto his back, and he spread his legs eagerly, lifting his knees to his chest. He stroked my spit-slick cock. Upside down, I could get him into my throat easier. Then I found the sweet spot with my finger. His touches lost all coordination. He gripped my thighs, fingers digging in, and gave out a strangled sob.

"I'll come! I'm there… Eric! I'm…"

He twitched all over, shivering. Miraculously, I didn't choke when salty cum filled my mouth. I wasn't a fan of swallowing, but the idea of spitting it into my hand or running downstairs to the sink felt like sacrilege.

This was Bj?rn. The rough lumberjack of my dreams, the sweet man who'd brought me cinnamon rolls and took me on the best date of my life. I swallowed and licked him clean.

Objectively, cum tastes nasty, and nobody will ever convince me otherwise. Those people who claim it's yummy are just being horny while their own taste buds yell at them in protest. I don't care if the only thing you eat is pineapple. Cum is slimy and sticks to the roof of my mouth for ages, lingering in my throat no matter how much water I drink. If I can, I avoid taking it into my mouth at all.

But Bj?rn's wasn't so bad. Or it was my horniness speaking.

He shuffled under me, and wet heat enveloped my cock. With his hands on my ass, he encouraged me to fuck his throat, so I did. Ooh. The aftertaste of cum in my mouth made the sensations even better. Go figure. He stroked my crease, and maybe he would have gotten around to fingering me too, but I was high-strung like a teenage virgin. He hummed around my dick, and I was done for.

"Coming!" I warned in case he wanted to pull off, but he held me in place and sucked the cum out of me. Oversensitive and raw, I wriggled free from his grip.

It must have been the effect of the sauna because as soon as the orgasm fizzled out, I could barely keep my eyes open. I flopped on the bed, upside down, Bj?rn's softening cock right in front of my face. I didn't mind. It was a very nice cock, even flaccid. I gave it a kiss, and Bj?rn chuckled weakly.

He nuzzled my hip and stroked my belly…and I fell asleep.

Since we hadn't covered up, I woke up from the chill after what must have been barely half an hour.

Bj?rn crawled around so we were face to face and hugged me. He was so ridiculously handsome without the beard; it was doing my head in. I'd been trying not to stare at him too much during the day, but I'd probably failed. Under the pale stubble, I could clearly see the dimple when he smiled, and every time he did, I felt it in my chest.

"It's cold," he murmured.

"Uh-huh. Let's go downstairs and light the fireplace."

"Okay."

Reluctantly, we parted and put our clothes back on, collecting them piece by piece on the way downstairs in a reverse reenactment of our previous rush.

We started the fire and opened a couple of beers, huddling under a blanket.

"Can you stay for dinner?" I asked.

"I'd love that. I'll figure out something to say to Madde."

"Is she expecting you?"

"No. But she thinks I've gone fishing and then to the bastu by myself. I need to let her know I haven't drowned or passed out in the heat."

He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. He frowned at his screen. "Huh."

"What?"

"She's messaged she's on a date."

"Oh?"

"Yep. Took her car to Mellerud."

He typed something and hit send.

"Who's the lucky man?"

Bj?rn grimaced. "Another loser from Tinder who doesn't deserve her."

I bumped his cheek with my nose, and his expression gentled. "Nobody's good enough for her, huh?"

"I sound like a caveman, sorry."

"No. Only like a protective son. It must be difficult to see her date after your father passed away."

He scoffed. "He deserved her even less than the random schmucks she finds online."

I glanced at him, wondering if I should ask more about it. Bj?rn took a deep swig of his beer, gazing at the dancing flames behind the glass door of the fireplace.

"My father and I didn't have the easiest relationship," he said.

"He didn't approve of your sexuality?"

"That was just the tip of the iceberg. Sorry. We'd better not talk about it. It's been an amazing day, and I don't want to ruin it."

"I want to get to know you, and this seems important. If you want to talk about it, talk."

He was quiet for a while, then he rested his head against mine, cuddling me under the blanket with one arm. He blew out a breath and began talking.

"My mom died when I was little. I don't remember her. My dad, being an old-school man's man, didn't have the first idea how to raise a kid. For him it was all about discipline and punishment."

Did he mean his father beat him? And I'd thought my parents' silent treatments had been bad. I wouldn't force him to elaborate, not now, anyway.

"Madde coming into my life saved me," he continued. "She didn't see the angry, violent brat my father presented me to be. I would throw a tantrum, and she would console me. Love me. At first, I thought she was crazy. They argued a lot about me. She only saw him lift his arm once, about to slap me, and straight out told him she'd call social services on him if he ever touched me."

My stomach lurched. I'd been correct in my suspicion. Fuck.

"How did he react?"

Bj?rn shrugged and swallowed a mouthful of beer. "He loved her. He was head over heels in love with her. He was an ass, but having a beautiful younger woman in his bed softened him up." He smiled, fingers tracing the label on the beer bottle. "She always won. It must have cost her, but she always got her way. And so, she saved me. My father became more distant, caring less and less about what I did and how, and Madde raised me instead."

He finished his beer and put it on the coffee table.

"Then he found out I was gay." The tone of his voice made it clear it hadn't been a smooth coming-out.

"I told Madde when I was eighteen, and she was so supportive, encouraging me to tell my father. So I did. And he just…blew up." He fisted his hand and spread his fingers, mimicking an explosion. "He claimed Madde made me gay because she'd been too soft on me."

"Jesus."

"He knew it was bullshit, but he'd always been like that. When he got angry, truth or logic ceased to exist for him. So I applied for the college exchange program and ran away to Canada. Madde asked for a divorce."

"She divorced him? I mean, good for her, but I thought she'd stayed with him until the end."

"He didn't want to let her go. He tried to convince her to wait, but then he had his first heart attack. Madde thought she couldn't leave him when he was sick. It took two more cardiac arrests, and he was gone. She says he calmed down a lot during the final years, but I wouldn't know because I stayed away. He never reached out. I didn't see him again until his funeral."

I thought of the little boy out there in the farmhouse, alone with a violent father. Then, selfishly, I thought of myself. When my grandfather died, my parents didn't let me know until after the funeral in case I decided to come and embarrass them in front of the congregation. He'd been the one person in my family who'd been on my side.

I nuzzled Bj?rn's temple. He turned to me and caught my lips in a sweet kiss, his mouth cold from the beer.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me."

"Sauna, sex, beer. I'm all lightheaded."

"Yeah. Me too."

"But I'm glad you told me. Thank you."

That made him smile—a shy, beautiful smile that brought out the dimple usually obscured by his beard.