Chapter 9

I leanedback against my leather seat and tapped the Honda's steering wheel as I glanced at Tav out of the corner of my eye. He was probably the biggest guy to ever ride shotgun with me, and I couldn't get over how much I loved seeing him sit there.

"This is a mess," he said, shaking his head and gesturing at the road.

"Yep."

Everything was at a standstill, so I just kept scoping him out. When it came to his face, his lips were what I loved the most. I definitely wanted to lean over and kiss him. The person behind me honked, and I raised my hands. It wasn't like I didn't want to be moving. Something must be going on today because traffic had turned awful—even worse than usual for the after-work rush hour. Tav caught me looking at him when I took another peek, and he smirked, which sent a zip of excitement dancing in my stomach. I ran my right hand nervously over my leg, then laid it invitingly, I hoped, on the center console.

Tav laughed. "Thought driving was my job?" He tickled my palm with his fingertips. The gentle teasing dredged up old wonderful feelings. They'd been hiding inside me, dormant, just waiting for Tav. I sucked in a harsh breath and snatched his hand with mine. He snorted and slid his fingers between mine. Our palms pressed tightly together, like we couldn't stand to have air between us. Everything about this was right.

Traffic moved, and I inched the car forward, only to stop again less than twenty seconds later. I smacked the steering wheel, and he hummed.

"No use in that." He squeezed my hand. "Calm down."

My heart fluttered and warmth burst in my stomach. Fuck, I'd missed this so much. "I know. It makes me feel better, though."

"So, driving. Is it my job or what? You could be relaxing and working?" He wriggled our hands together but didn't try to tug away. I was glad because I might've actually fought him to keep his hand right now. I felt strangely scrubbed raw, inside and out.

My brain hurt when my thoughts drifted to Mom. I wanted to say I couldn't believe she would do something so vile, but as easygoing as Dad could be, she was the total opposite. Never relaxed. Had to be forced on vacation. Thought she was the one keeping the Earth in its orbit.

Shaking my head, I smiled at Tav. "Right now, you have one job, and it isn't driving me."

"Oh, it's not? I'm pretty sure it's illegal to pay someone to do all the rest of what I've been up to with you." He winked at me, and there was something different about him now, too. He'd always been a jokester, but he seemed more like his old self. Less on edge.

"You do it well enough that you would deserve every penny." I brought his hand up and nipped his wrist, and he shook his head at me, still wearing that smile I adored. "But no, your job right now is to decide how to get out of your lease for that trailer." I tried not to sound condescending, still worried he would think I was judging him, but like hell he was staying in that piece of crap. I was pretty sure I'd seen nicer sewer drains than that hell hole he was living in.

Tav's hand stiffened against mine, and I held my breath, but he only covered my hand with his other one. "I can't do that," he murmured.

"You're not going to be using it." I left the implication hanging in the air. He would be in my bed instead. In my house. Living his life beside me.

Traffic started moving again, and this time we were puttering along at a steady crawl. Ahead I saw flashing lights, so an accident must be holding things up. I sighed. This was karma for the trouble we'd caused the other day.

Tav cleared his throat. "One thing, I've always managed to keep a roof over my head. Even during the bad times." He slipped his bracelet down his hand and plucked at the shells, and it was the first hint of nerves I'd seen from him.

I shot him a quick look. His mouth was in a firm line. Fuck, had I stepped on his toes? "This isn't a pride thing. I know you can take care of yourself, but I want you to stay with me. I want you as close as I can get you. I missed twenty fucking years. I don't want to lose another second. This isn't about money."

"Today that's what you want," he said quietly, then cleared his throat. "Eventually, we'll work some of the lust out of our systems and settle down. You'll want space." He tapped his fingers on the back of my hand.

As we passed the accident, we both stared. A delivery truck that must've been carrying dish soap had been T-boned by a motorcycle and the results were horrific. The motorcycle was on its side, smashed all to hell. A helmet lay forgotten in the hole that had been ripped in the side of the truck. An ambulance pulled into traffic ahead of us, and I had to assume the rider was inside. Bottles of dish soap were scattered across the road in every color of the rainbow and a lot of them had burst open. Tiny bubbles drifted up into the air and sparkled in the sun.

"That's a bad scene," Tav murmured, nodding at the bike. "Hope they made it."

"Yeah. I like you in your truck. That Ford could take a nuclear explosion."

He snorted. "It's steel. Made back when they did it up right."

For a few minutes, I had to concentrate because the traffic was nasty, but when we stopped at another light, I tugged on his hand until he looked me in the eye. "It isn't only today. I want you with me, Tav," I murmured, giving his hand another squeeze.

I was feeling emotional and it was weird. My eyes wanted to water and my nose tingled. I'd spent a lot of years avoiding any sort of entanglement that went beyond my dick, and I wasn't used to this. My body felt fizzy with all the adrenaline coursing through it from simply holding his hand. I was a wreck. Hell, I felt like a teenager all over again with him, and all he had to do was smile at me.

I had to focus on the road, even though I was driving slowly, and when Tav brought my hand up to his mouth, he lingered over it, his lips a warm, firm press against my skin. My insides twisted and his breath had me struggling not to find a nice place to pull over and maul him in my car. I'd been on a hair trigger since I'd sunk into the tight squeeze of his hot body in my office. Instead of feeling satisfied, I wanted more, needed more.

Fuck, I'd missed him so much.

"Don't you trust me?" he asked, placing soft kisses along my knuckles. "I don't blame you after everything. I'm sorry. I did what I thought?—"

"Stop apologizing. I do trust you. I just...."

He rested his prickly chin on my skin, then settled my hand on his right thigh, still held tightly between his. "It's not just me. I have Ellis to consider."

My stomach tied itself in knots. "It's perfect, then. You can just let the kid have the trailer. Hell, I'll even make the payments if that's an issue." A petty excitement squirmed all through me. "I'll buy his groceries, and he'll be good."

Tav gave me a long look that made me feel about an inch high. "He's a kid. He shouldn't be all alone. Besides, one of his good friends was literally kidnapped from the trailer park. Forcibly removed. He's a little scared, I think, even if he doesn't mention it. With good reason."

"What? A crime was committed? Did anyone call the cops?" I cut Tav a glance.

"The trailer park doesn't involve the law," he said quietly.

I frowned at him. "It isn't another country. What do you mean they don't involve the cops? What if someone needs to call them?"

Tav shook his head. "If you don't get it, I can't explain it. Ellis's parents seemed to write him off, but I don't want to put him in a spot where something bad happens to him. It wouldn't be right."

"Jesus, fine. The original plan is good. We'll just bring him to my house."

Tav grinned and rolled his eyes. "Jesus is the problem."

"Sounds to me like stupid people are the problem and we should leave Jesus out of it."

He chuckled. "Too right."

Our gazes locked, and I had to force myself to pay attention to the road as traffic finally smoothed out to the speed limit.

"I missed you," he whispered. "So much."

Elation and grief twisted together inside me. "You don't have to miss me anymore. I'm here."

He didn't say anything else, just held my hand like he was worried he would lose me if he let go. The Lakeview Trailer Park was only a few miles from my house outside of New Gothenburg. I wasn't a fan of city living, but I also didn't like being stuck way out in the middle of nowhere. I'd found a nice compromise with a place that let me get to the office within a half hour, even in the winter, and wasn't far from my parents. All that meant a minor detour took me to the trailer park. Fuck, it looked even worse than I remembered in the bright sunshine. The L was missing so that the only thing on the arched sign above the open gate was akeview Trailer Park.

I didn't want to make the turn, but in the end I did. What else could I do?

Some of the trailers were much nicer than others, and I was busy gazing around, wishing we didn't have to stop here, when I was forced to slam on the brakes because a little girl wandered directly in front of my car with a massive dog on a leash. She was wearing roller skates that went over her shoes and a swimsuit with a tutu over the top.

"Damn it, hold on," Tav said, then hopped out. He took the little girl by the hand and went with her and the dog over to a trailer. He beat the door, and a woman with a sleep mask on opened it. She looked exhausted with dark circles under her eyes, and she smiled and said something I assumed was "Thanks" to Tav, before ushering the little girl and dog into the trailer and closing the door.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

He sighed and settled into his seat again. "Oh, Virginia's mother works nights. Her brother must be out trying to find a job again. Usually Moose watches her."

I mouthed Moose but didn't say anything, simply drove down the small street to his trailer at the very back of the park. I hoped for his sake that was a nickname. I'd used my map app to find Tav the other night, but now I had the directions burned into my brain, as if a part of me was worried I would lose him again. I parked the Honda in front of the trailer, and Tav ran a hand over his face.

"We'll have to drive Ellis to school." His lips pursed.

"It's fine. We'll work it out. He can Uber if he needs to."

Tav grunted and glanced at me.

"I swear on my life I'll make this work. If it's important to you, we'll figure it out." My chest tightened until Tav flashed me a small smile and nodded. "He's eighteen, right? I'll just get him a car."

Tav's mouth fell open. "Why?"

"Because you want to help him." My stomach roiled with a bit of guilt. Also, it made Ellis leaving for college much easier. He needed to get far the fuck away from Tav and find a little boyfriend his own age. Anyone who wasn't Tav.

We got out together, and I winced as someone nearby called "Hey!"

Tav pivoted from the direction of the trailer and walked over to the boy where he'd parked himself in a lawn chair with a book spread across his lap. I'd never been this jealous in the past, but it ate at me to watch the way Tav's entire attitude seemed to flow into something charming and caring as he approached Ellis. He plopped into a chair beside the boy.

Tav murmured to Ellis, I assumed telling him the plan for the evening. The kid spun on his seat to stare at me with wide distrustful eyes that made me want to say something rude—which would only prove him right. I forced a smile and walked over to stand near Tav with my hands in my pockets.

"Where have you been?" the kid asked Tav.

Tav clapped his hands and leaned forward. "Work. What would you say to spending the night at Judah's?"

Oh, great, he hadn't told him what we were doing yet.

The kid smoothed his hand down the pages of his open book. "Why would we do that?" he asked stiffly, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. "Didn't you just meet him?"

Shuffling closer to Tav, I rested a hand on the back of his neck. "We've known each other for years. Decades. We have a lot of catching up to do."

The kid's bottom lip popped out and a furrow settled on his forehead. "You mean you want to... you know." He scowled and blushed. "Fuck."

Tav's head whipped around and his mouth fell open. "Hey, now, really? Ellis?" He chuckled and knocked the back of his hand against the kid's knee. My skin crawled with irritation at the contact, even though it was innocent and friendly.

"This guy is around for two days and we're staying at his place? Don't you think that's a bit much?" Ellis stood up and tossed down his book on his chair. "That's way too much."

Tav sighed and stood, stretching, and he caught my hand, giving it another small kiss before I let it fall back to my side. "We're going to go in the trailer and get bags together. Give us a couple of minutes?" He widened his eyes at me, and I hoped he would use those minutes to tell the little shit to mind his own business. Tav picked up the kid's book. As I watched them go inside, I sighed. It was probably for the best that Tav had a friend who was worried about him, but why did it have to be a cute kid half his age who clearly hated my guts?

"I'll be waiting in the car," I said to myself, sliding my hand into my pocket again. I grasped my phone, and the pure blinding rage from earlier reignited as I realized I had time to do what I'd wanted to do then. I got into the Honda and tapped Dad's number on the screen.

"Hey, son!" Dad's happy voice hit my ear almost immediately. The music in the background was an obnoxious instrumental version of "Arms Wide Open."

"Are you at a bar?"

Dad hummed. "We're at the Rum Bar. I just got a Rum Espresso Martini, and it's delicious. Next time you come down with us, you gotta try it."

I rolled my eyes. "I take it Key West is still good?"

"Mm." I could tell he was downing part of his drink. "But there's a hurricane predicted for next week. 'Tis the season. I knew it was a risk booking now. We'll be cutting this short by a couple of days. I hope now that you've found financial success on your own, you'll still have time to pick your old man up from the airport and have dinner with him." He chuckled. "Your mother has some friend she wants to visit in New Mexico before she comes home."

At the mention of Mom, my stomach curdled. "Hey, Dad, do you remember Tav? Tavish? His mother was?—"

"Yeah! Tavish Greer. He was a good kid. Oh, boy, you moped around for a year after he broke up with you. Almost two, actually. I wanted to get you a therapist, but your mother said that was for Vert Island kids who didn't have to work for their money. Could I get a refill? Thanks," he said, and I assumed he was talking to the bartender.

"Dad." I groaned.

"You know, I took a Scottish woman on a date once when I was in Europe at a convention. I wasn't cheating on your mother. It was totally friendly. She had the most amazing?—"

"Dad! How hard have you been hitting the booze?"

He snickered. "I am a firm believer in the vacation buzz."

Rubbing my temple hard, I glared at the dashboard. "Did you know Mom bribed him to go away? Tav, I mean."

There was silence on his end, except for the background noise of the music and the hum of other customers at the bar. "You're talking about the Scottish boy whose mother worked in the house? The one you dated? You took him out on the lake in our boat a couple of times?"

My face heated as I remembered what we'd done on the boat. Tav had been my first everything. "Dad, he's an adult now. But yeah."

"Well, I'll be damned." I wasn't sure if he was surprised by the fact that people grew up or that Mom would do something awful.

I smacked my hand on the dashboard. "Did you know?"

"No, son, I didn't," he said, and for what it was worth, he sounded sad about it.

"Put Mom on," I snarled.

He hissed, a slow exhale through his teeth that grated on my nerves. "This isn't something you want to do on the phone."

"I found Tav again, and I'm fucking keeping him. Get her on the goddamned phone."

Dad was quiet for a time, and my anger began to boil. I wasn't exactly mad at him, but I was pissed off that he was dragging his feet.

"Your mother isn't a people person, you know? She likes her job, hates the peons. She always thinks people are out to get us. I think it's partly from her job. I?—"

"Dad, there's no defending this. Is she with you?"

"Sure. She's on her laptop at a table. Let me get her. You can hash this out with her. Tav's doing okay, is he?" The noise shifted, and I guessed he was probably walking over to Mom.

"He's going to be fine," I said, staring at the trailer. "I'll make sure of it."

"I love you, kid. Here's Mom."

There was the noise of a fumbled handoff. "Really? You're drunk already. It isn't even five o'clock yet." She huffed. "Judah? You don't interrupt vacations. Is there an emergency?" Her voice was crisp and she clearly hadn't been drinking.

"Bet you'll think so," I said, not bothering to hold in anything I was feeling. I let my anger ooze out of me. "Guess who rear-ended my car the other day."

She gasped. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Guess."

"No. There is an entire planet full of people and I don't have time to waste." She snapped her fingers and it was probably at Dad to tell him to sit. I hated when she did that.

"Tavish Greer."

Her sharp inhalation was all I needed to know she remembered that name. "How lovely," she murmured.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" I snapped.

"I can't imagine what you mean," she said, composed as ever.

"You're going to bring me that contract," I snarled, losing my cool entirely. "You will do it or you're going to find out exactly how much like you I can be, and you're not going to fucking like it."

"Damn it, no I don't want a drink," she said to someone on her end, probably Dad. "Tell me you're not speaking with him. He wanted one thing. Money. If you know about that contract, you know?—"

"I know his mom was sick. I can't fucking believe you!"

There was the sound of a chair scraping, then the music faded.

"Don't want Dad to hear you be awful?" I asked.

She snorted. "Your father knows exactly how I am and always has. He depends on it. He sweet talks people into buying things, and I make sure there is a product to sell and everyone gets paid. He's the dreamer, but I'm the feet firmly on the ground making everything happen. I worked hard to get you where you are today."

There was no way for me to interrupt, and I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white.

"Listen to me, Judah. There are plenty of men from good families. I'll send you anywhere you want to go. If you like those fancy United Kingdom accents, I'll send you to the London offices and you can work there for us. There are gay men everywhere. Please, just pick one who isn't trying to social climb."

I was gobsmacked and couldn't think of anything to say for a few seconds. It was a lot to take in. "Mom, I have my own company now. You're not sending me to do anything. And you never knew him at all if you thought Tav was like that. He was thirteen when you first met him. How could you even think that?" I was yelling, and maybe I'd gotten too loud because the trailer door opened.

Tav walked out with a frown as he stared at the car, bag slung over his shoulder.

"Please, listen to reason," she said.

"You would rather have your way than your son," I muttered, but I was furious and wanted to keep yelling.

"What does that mean?" Finally, there was some emotion in her tone, but it seemed like she had the audacity to be pissed off.

"It means exactly what I said. I already picked my man, Mom. Twenty years ago I chose Tav. You fucked it all up for me. I've got a second chance and I won't waste it. Stay away from Tav and don't talk to me unless you're bringing me that contract."

"Damn it, Judah Dailey, you will not?—"

I ended the call just as Tav opened the passenger door. He leaned down and frowned at me, then slid onto the seat. "You okay?"

"I am now." I stole a kiss.