9. Fake, Fun And.Professional?

I gnoring the loud, excessive screams of the humans rushing to flee, Octavius sat there, staring at the guillotine blade that was currently dissecting their dead waiter’s face. He was, frankly…trying to decide what exactly he was going to do about it.

His gaze flicked to the man’s shocked, wide green eyes. Marty had fallen back as the blade hit him, so currently, Octavius could only see his eyes and upward. The at least two-foot-wide blade was blocking the rest of him from view.

Staring into those green eyes, he pursed his lips. While…this man’s death was regretful…it wasn’t exactly his problem, was it? He winced… Callous, yet… Well, he was on vacation?! Also, this was a bit too public for him to investigate…

Another question… Was his dress shirt still…salvageable. Blood stains were such a pain to get out of light colored clothing…

Octavius’ gaze trailed past the blood-stained mouton that the blade was in, to the rope attached, that was now hanging loosely, and frowned as he spotted the end.

Cut—it looked obviously, and clearly, cut. He peered up, seeing that the other end of the rope was much the same…yet… What in the hell was a guillotine doing up there anyway?

Closing his eyes, he slipped briefly into ‘super vamp’ mode, and took a deep breath in and out, but he found…nothing. Well…besides the scent of humans, blood, and Turney. But if the overwhelming scent of the humans in there wasn’t interfering with his senses, then the only thing he smelled near the guillotine blade was the deceased waiter… Odd…but…again, none of this was his problem.

“Shouldn’t we leave?” Turney asked hesitantly.

He blinked, turning towards his zombie bun, who looked oddly tense. “Leave? Hmm…no. We should probably wait for the police, as we were right here.” He frowned as the man grimaced. “What’s wrong?”

“The smell…”

“Smell…?” His eyes widened as it clicked. “Ah…yes. I imagine, if you were hungry for normal food, it’s not odd that the other hunger would try to flare up in the presence of such…temptation.”

Turney gagged. “Don’t say temptation…” The zombie wrinkled his nose. “And I know we need to stay for the police, but normal people would get away from the dead body.”

Lips pursed, he looked around and quickly noted that the room was now empty, besides them and the dead body. “Right…normal… I suppose… normal people would…get away from the dead body. Yes.”

“Yes.” The zombie nodded slowly. “Us staying here looks kind of suspicious .”

“Suspicious…”

Given how many humans find dead bodies fascinating, he thought they would stick around, but…what did he know. He hadn’t been human in a very long time.

Octavius grimaced as he eyed the room again, before letting out a distressed sigh. “I just wanted to have a fun lunch, drink some good drinks, and experience a murder mystery! Was that too much to ask?!” he cried with a pout.

Turney stared, his face scrunching. “Octavius…we’ve literally experienced actual murder mysteries.”

“Yes! But this was supposed to be fake, fun, and duck related! I was supposed to be the victim! I would have gotten to play dead, and then randomly read my backstory as a ghost! I would have been dramatic and amazing!”

Turney rolled his eyes. “Come on, my dramatic and amazingly nutty boyfriend, let’s get out of here, before they start suspecting we had anything to do with this.”

Octavius huffed, “Fine!”

Turney did his best to ignore the stares as he dragged Octavius by the hand out of the restaurant. And boy, were there a lot of them…but then again, they had stayed inside for way longer than they should have.

Taking a deep breath of the crisp, fresh air, which was not filled with the smell of brains, his hunger instantly receded as he pulled Octavius towards a tree, a bit away from the doors. The others—hah—kindly moved out of their way, making a path. Though part of it could be because they were splattered with blood.

He glanced around and winced at how much they stood out among the shivering, bundled up humans in their coats. It was just under forty out…yet it hadn’t occurred to him to bring a coat, because he felt comfortable. Had…he…packed a coat, was the real question…? Ugh, his lack of ability to feel temperature change was…definitely messing with his ability to fit in.

In the distance, Turney could hear sirens approaching, though he had started to hear those when they’d still been inside. Eyeing the vampire, his nose wrinkled on realizing how far up the blood had splattered on him.

“Turn around.”

“Why?” Octavius asked with a smile…as if the tense and frightened people around them were not even there.

“Octavius, put your professional face on.”

The vampire blinked, looking confused for a moment, before it must have finally dawned on the crazy ass bat. Octavius’ smile dropped to give way to a slight frown, the man finally appearing ‘serious’.

“You have blood on your neck. I want to wipe it off.”

“Oh…” The vampire turned.

Turney stared at the speckles of blood in Octavius’ sandy-blond curls, and the splatter on his neck, and…found he had nothing to wipe it off with. He glanced down at himself… Well…there was already blood on his shirt, so… Turney unrolled his sleeve, which probably should have already been unrolled because it was cold out, and wiped at Octavius’ neck and hair.

The vampire gasped. “Are you using your sleeve?!”

“Inside voice,” he hissed softly.

“But we are outside. Also…your shirt…” Octavius whined, his voice a lot lower this time.

“Outside and surrounded by…people, who already think something is wrong with us. So, we are going to use our inside quiet voices. As for my shirt, it already had blood on it.”

“No reason to add another stain…” the vampire huffed, but he didn’t say more as Turney continued to wipe.

Once he had done the best he could without water, the vampire faced him with his bottom lip popped out, and his arms crossed, clearly pouting.

“Professional face.”

Octavius sighed but relaxed, and went back to being ‘serious’. Turney, on feeling his phone buzz, pulled it out and flipped it open, finding multiple unread messages.

SCARLETT

Is everything okay?

Turney…

You have five seconds to answer before I track you down.

Ah…she had likely felt his distress, and probably, after debating…had decided to text instead of calling…

“Scarlett?” Octavius asked.

“Yep.”

“Better answer her before she calls, or…tries to find you.”

Yep, Octavius definitely knew his best friend well. “Answering her now.”

TURNEY

Something happened, but we are fine. Will explain later over the phone.

SCARLETT

Do you need me?

He barely kept the smile off his face at her reply, his heart soaring just a bit… As…how could he not be happy to have someone who’d drop whatever they were doing to come help him? Octavius would too, but…with Scarlett, it just felt different.

TURNEY

No, stay where you are. Have fun. We’re both fine. I’ll call later, promise.

SCARLETT

You better.

“You should use more emojis when you text,” the vampire said, not even trying to hide that he was reading over his shoulder. Not that Turney cared if the man read any of his texts.

“Why?” His brow raising in question to that, he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

Octavius’ head tilted, as if confused. “How are people supposed to know you aren’t mad if you don’t use emojis?”

Turney had a sudden ‘a-ha’ moment that…explained some of the past nonsense arguments they’d had. “Do you think I’m mad with you whenever I don’t answer texts with emojis?”

The vampire glanced away.

“Octavius…I’m not mad at you anytime I don’t reply with an emoji…”

The man’s gaze slowly slipped back to him, frowning. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said with a small smile, despite the horrifying situation, and the dead body in the building they were standing next to. His boyfriend was ridiculously cute… Or more accurately…ridiculous and cute…

A few moments later, a police cruiser, an unmarked police vehicle with lights, and an ambulance showed up. People moved out of the way as they pulled up. There was apparently road access to the restaurant, despite it being in the middle of an amusement park.

They stood there, waiting to be approached, as the police got out of their vehicles. The uniformed officers moved to secure the scene, while the plain clothed ones went inside with the EMTs.

It was only a few minutes later when they came back outside and started talking to the owner of the place, Mr. Percival, who was standing off to the side by a grouping of trees, looked distressed, and as if he had yanked at his hair a few times. Then again, one of his staff had just died in a freak accident on his property, likely in his view, so…he had lots to be stressed about.

Either way, if the awkward stares weren’t enough to make him feel anxious…the police presence was. The thing about being a former criminal… Turney had never really gotten over the jumpy feeling he had around cops. Not that he’d ever gotten caught, and most of his crimes wouldn’t have been anything more than a misdemeanor, but still…

Getting over it had always been on his to-do list…due to the whole lawyer pursuit… But…it hadn’t happened yet…and now he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to go back to law school…

This was a subject Octavius kept randomly bringing up and prodding him about. He had so far…managed to brush it off, as…he found himself going back and forth, struggling to find a reason to go back. He could tell the vampire really wanted him to. Or maybe it was just that he blamed himself for Turney leaving school in the first place.

He stiffened as Mr. Percival started gesturing their way.

Octavius patted his arm. “Relax, Turney. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know that…but they don’t.”

“It will be fine.” The vampire tried to reassure him again as the two plain clothed officers headed their way.

Although both were human, the two men approaching were vastly different. The one on the left was shorter than Turney, but more muscular, with short black hair, brown eyes, dark brown skin with reddish undertones, kind looking features, and a small but bright, comforting smile.

The officer looked both comfortable yet professional in his thick burgundy sweater, black slacks, and boots. His badge hung from his neck, while his gun belt was only partly visible under the thick duster length peacoat he was wearing.

The man on the right, on the other hand, was taller than the other officer by at least six inches, making him nearer six foot four. Just as muscular, he had pale skin, sandy-brown hair, green eyes, a square jaw, and was scowling. The guy was wearing blue jeans, a green sweater, brown boots, and a leather jacket. While his badge also hung from his neck, his gun belt was very visible.

“Hello there, officers. I am Octavius Evander, and this is Turney Pimms, my partner,” Octavius said way too happily as he waved towards him. “As I’m sure you two will find out, we may have stayed inside for longer than most would. But I assure you, we had nothing to do with the death of our waiter.”

When both of the officers’ brows rose sky high, Turney barely suppressed his groan of exasperation. Fine, my ass , he thought.

“Please excuse him, officers. He doesn’t…think like the average person. What he failed to mention is that we work for a private detective agency. While we didn’t touch anything, we did spare a few extra minutes to look around from where we were seated.”

Octavius frowned at him, before his head tilted and he started to smile again. “I suppose, I am above average, yes.”

He snorted.

“Private detectives?” the brown-haired human mused gruffly, sending an irritated look to his partner, before saying, “Well, I’m Detective Robins. This is my partner, Detective Banks. We have a few questions for you, followed…by some procedural necessities, considering you two are covered in blood.”

“Whatever you need,” Turney replied stiffly.

“You were the closest table to the incident. What did you two see?” Detective Banks asked, the man’s voice a soft rumble.

Octavius hummed. “Well, I didn’t really see anything, I had my back to the man. But I suppose, had I been seated a foot back, the guillotine would have hit me instead.”

“I saw it, but it was over before I really had time to make sense of what was happening,” he lied.

He had seen it clearly enough. He hadn’t believed it, at first, but he’d seen it because…zombie enhancements, and all that.

“It was really only in the aftermath that I realized what had happened and that it was not only real but not part of the show.”

“Did you know the victim prior to today?”

“No,” Turney stated, while Octavius just shook his head, no.

The officers asked more questions, dealing with why they were there, confirming again if they knew the man who died, asking about the blood on them, about the Agency, and all of that nonsense. Turney was starting to wonder if they were trying to trip them up, or catch them in a lie or something, when they finally asked for their contact information, in case they had any follow-up questions.

Turney quickly rattled off his full name and number, after Octavius had given his, before asking, “Can we leave?”

Detective Robins eyed them, before saying, “You can…but…first, the procedural things I mentioned. We are going to need all of your clothes, Mr. Evander, and your shirt and vest, Mr. Pimms.”

His brow rose, while Octavius cried, “What?!”