2. Bubby Bubblemobile

T urney’s eyes popped open. Sleep still clouded his mind, along with a vague, odd dream about a talking peanut butter jar that sounded like Octavius, as it complained to him about wanting to be chocolate.

He stared blankly up at the unlit white chandelier, that was set into the golden framed, recessed center of the light baby-pink ceiling, and knew instantly, without looking, that Octavius was no longer in bed with him. The vampire was, in fact, nowhere inside the sea-green, pink and gold accented bedroom they’d decided to switch to two months ago.

His gaze slipped to the clock on the small, circular, light-pink and gold nightstand, and he groaned as he read the glowing numbers—4am. “Octavius… You and your hatred of sleep.”

Stretching, his joints popped painlessly as he yawned and got out of bed. Slipping his fuzzy pink slippers on, he pulled the matching robe over his pajamas. With another yawn, Turney shuffled out of the room into the hall, heading towards the nearest room with a TV. As that was likely where his seemingly endlessly energized boyfriend was.

At an odd sound, he paused in the hallway with a frown. There was…this…low, fast-paced ticking noise, along with what sounded like something hard rolling across the floor.

Turney looked around. The ticking noise remained, but he didn’t see anything. Oddly…the sound wasn’t unfamiliar to him…but he was very much questioning why he was hearing it in the middle of the hall.

“Bubby?” he asked slowly.

The rolling sounds started again. His gaze dipped down. Turney’s brow rose in surprise when, out of the hall that branched off to the right of the one he was in, rolled what looked like a seamless and hole-less, glass hamster ball, filled with water, Bubby very much inside.

“What…in the hell…” Turney rasped, feeling beyond baffled.

Quickly bending down, Turney picked up the ball. Straightening up, he stared at the baby Long-spine porcupinefish inside. With the majority of his semi-spiky body being bright turquoise, Bubby had darker blue markings on his head, and random golden spots.

Bubby’s turquoise eyes seemed to narrow at him as the fish began to blow bubbles. Now, while Turney wasn’t positive… No, scratch that, it was beyond obvious to him that Bubby was mad.

Sadly…he had not managed to bond with the fish like he had Sprinkle. And…to be honest, he was pretty sure Bubby didn’t like him.

Turney eyed the fish for a few more moments, before, ball still in hand, he continued towards the living room closest to the bedroom he shared with Octavius. Even before he reached it, Turney could hear the TV playing.

Pushing into the dark room, only dimly lit by the light of the TV, he eyed Octavius, who was sitting on a bright-yellow tufted back couch. The vampire was wrapped in an emerald-green blanket, with only his face visible. So basically, the face of a Roman-Greco statue was just sticking out of a blanket.

With a strong but not quite square jaw, Octavius had a rounded chin, high cheekbones, a classic Greek nose, plush lips, and large ocean blue eyes, framed by long thick lashes. Turney wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the man’s beauty.

Currently, the eyes of said beauty were glued to the screen that was mounted on the wall across from him.

“Octavius, what are you doing up?”

The vampire didn’t respond, his gaze still locked on the TV, completely focused on whatever was happening there.

Moments later, a narrator on the TV announced, in an old timey voice, “Thus concludes episode five of Mallard Mysteries. Stay tuned for the next episode, where our feathered detective solves the mystery of the murdered hen! As always, Ducktective Drake Feathering is on the case!”

Ducktective? Turney moved closer. Eyeing the screen, his brow rose in surprise as he stared at what looked to be an honest to God, real life Mallard duck, wearing small, round, gold-rimmed metal glasses, a gray tweed fedora, matching tweed slacks and suit jacket, a brown knit vest, gray bow tie, white collared shirt…and black leather shoes. The shoes were the shape of the duck’s webbed feet.

With the show over, Octavius slowly looked at him and said, “Bubby wants to be put down.”

His gaze flicked to the fish in his hand, who was still angrily blowing bubbles. “Octavius, Bubby is a fish… Why the hell is he swimming…” He blinked and shook his head. “No, how is he swimming around the halls like a hamster? Also, we only got back at eleven, it’s now four, why are you up?”

The vampire pursed his lips. “Well, Bubby was getting bored in his tank, so Min-ji helped me make the Bubby Bubblemobile.”

The way the man said all that, as if it was normal…

“Bubby…Bubblemobile?”

Octavius nodded cutely. “Yes! I came up with the name myself! Isn’t it cute?!” The vampire giggled. “Anyway, a little magic and…tada, Bubby can leave and return to his tank whenever he wants!”

“The construction van has something to do with this, doesn’t it?”

“Yes...” The vampire gestured towards the floor with his eyes.

Sighing, Turney slowly set Bubby down. Without hesitating, the fish rolled off, out of the room. “Why do your pets like to sneak up on me?”

Not that it had been as bad as when Sprinkle had done it, but then again…he had still been human then.

“My pets?!” Octavius gasped in horror. “They are our pets, Turney!”

He chuckled. “Yes, yes, they are our pets, but…” He winced. “I am pretty sure Bubby doesn’t like me.”

Octavius waved his hand, as if waving the concern away. “Nonsense! He just needs time to get to know you. I suppose the problem is you haven’t really had time to bond with him! But once you spend time with Bubby, I just know he will love you as much as I do!”

How…does one spend time with a fish?

Instead of voicing that, as it would surely lead to him questioning his sanity, Turney just rephrased his previous question. “And you are up, why?”

The vampire blinked, before starting to bounce in his seat excitedly. “Oh, right! Well, I discovered this brilliant series a few months back, called Mallard Mysteries. It's about a duck who is a detective, who solves mysteries and crimes.”

He couldn’t help but smile in the face of his boyfriend being adorable, while also trying not to laugh at the vampire failing to, once again, answer his question. “And you are watching it at 4am, why?”

“Well,” Octavius huffed, as if frustrated that the answer wasn’t obvious. “I have to rewatch it multiple times, and memorize every single second! There are forty, thirty-minute long episodes, along with two, one hour-long special episodes in season one, and the first episode of season two is airing in TWO WEEKS!”

His eyes narrowed on the vampire who, while looking wide awake…had some suspiciously deep bags under his eyes.

“I see.” He took a deep breath in, and held it before letting it out. “Did you actually get any sleep?”

Octavius’ eyes went a little wide, his gaze averting before he softly murmured, “I did…”

“You are so bad at lying,” Turney said with a groan, rubbing his face.

“I have to rewatch! I have to REMEMBER!” the vampire whined as he flipped the blanket off himself with a dramatic flair, before starting to pout. But the man’s expression quickly shifted from a pout to wide innocent eyes and a small smile as Octavius patted the seat next to him.

Turney just stared. With sandy-blond curls that were a bit ruffled, and olive skin lit up by the TV, the man was looking very soft and adorable in his silky, blue, long sleeve sleep top, with matching pants. In a no doubt calculated move, somehow the vampire’s eyes grew brighter as Octavius began to enthusiastically pat the couch with both hands.

Rolling his eyes, Turney snorted and walked over. Octavius let out a happy squeal when he sat down with a groan. “We are so sleeping past breakfast, and…probably lunch.”

The vampire giggled. “It’s fineee! On to the next episode! Oh, but first, let me give you the rundown on a few characters. So, Ducktective, Drake Feathering, has a partner named Detective Benjamin ‘Benny’ Hastings. To be clear, they are police detectives. Anyway, unbeknownst to our feathered hero, Benny is actually a bad guy. On top of that, Benny is also trying to sleep with Ducktective’s girlfriend, Samantha Pebble!”

“Then Benny…is a duck too?”

Octavius frowned. “No, he’s human.”

“Is Samantha a duck?”

“No, she’s a penguin…”

Turney…didn’t know if he should be concerned, or… Nope…he was definitely concerned.

The vampire hummed. “You know what, let me just start it over!”